TO GLUE OR NOT TO GLUE

So here's the pic of my progress on LJP'S "Equilibrium". This thing is just a blast to stitch, but I have to confess a dirty little secret....

I glued.

Some of the metallics just wouldn't stay put. No matter how hard I tried to tuck 'em, they just kept coming loose and I would discover that they had magically unstitched themselves in the middle of the night.

So I glued 'em to within an inch of their miserable little lives.

Yup. Glue. Now before you go having a heart attack on me, please understand that I did use archival/appropriate/OK for fibers fabric glue and not whatever tube of old Krazy Glue I had hanging around the house. Besides....I'm pretty sure that Stewey will be more concerned with his trust fund than he will be with setting up a stitchy museum upon my demise, so these things don't necessarily need to last into perpetuity now, do they?

So I'm all glued up and everything is as it should be. Only a few more areas to go and I will Happy Dance myself all over the place.

This is the "Stars For a New Millennium" that I was talking about the other day. Upon closer inspection, methinks this one will need to have some SERIOUS consideration as to colors/threads before I go off half-cocked and start stitching. There are twelve blocks....perhaps one a month for 2009? Ooooooh, that would mean that I actually would have to think about stitchy goals and schedules and planning and such. Heavy heavy sigh.

Not sure what will be on the agenda next. I am thinking about some cross stitch so I can give my fingers a rest. In addition to being covered in glue (see above), for some reason they're a little sore from pulling through the canvas. That does happen to me sometimes, and all I need is a few days with some linen and I'm right as rain again.

Happy Tuesday, kids! From my stitchy chair to yours....I send you love and best stitches!

GRRRRRRRR!

So I've been trying to load pics of my progress on "Equilibrium" for over two hours now. Blogger is either a) on the fritz or b) I'm a total boob and shouldn't be allowed to use one of these silly machines.

The progress is lovely, I swear. I'm almost finished and must confess that this has been one of my very favorite stitchy projects. Ever. I learned some new techniques, played around with threads I never would have tried on my own (like Treasure Braid Petite...who knew?), and managed to watch quite a bit of TeeVee and not do too much frogging at all. Very very satisfying.

So I will try again tomorrow to post so that you can all Happy Dance along with me. Woo Hoo!

Oh, and PS...yup, we got eleventy-seven inches of rain. Stewey built a little ark and put all of his toys on it for safekeeping, and he even wore his little rain boots without too much fuss. Sigh.

THE MAYOR OF CRAZYTOWNE

When we last left our heroine, she was hopping about with her stitchy supplies neatly towed in her 8th necessary, shouting "Look at me! Look at me!".

Today we find her in a more sedate state, but nonetheless off her nut.

Here's a few pics of my stitchy journal. Now, by journal, I mean the scrapbook that I keep of finished projects. When I've put the last stitch in place and pulled the item off its q-snaps or stretcher bars, I run right upstairs into the studio and take a pic and fill out a journal page. Then, on a rainy day, I "scrapbook" the pic to make it all purty-like and I put it into a journal.

This, of course, is completely separate from the stitchy journal that is actually a date book. In this stitchy journal, I write down what I did that day and maybe what I watched while stitching, or maybe some ridiculously profound thought that came to me while organizing something for the eighty-eleventh time.

Then there's THIS journal, which tells y'all how crazy I really am. You see, for me it's all about the organizing and the journaling, and the bloggy reading goodness that occupies at least eighteen hours of my day. The actual stitching is just a bonus. It's all of the other crazy cracker-ass crap that I do to get READY for stitching that convinces me that I should be put on a barge and floated off the coast of a large, yet friendly country.

"Equilibrium" is progressing nicely and I am loving every minute of it. Who knew that composite stitches would be my thing? I've been holding on to Tony Minieri's "Stars For a New Millenium" for months now, but maybe it's time to dust it off and give it a try? From what I can tell, Mr. Tony His Very Self is just nutty for those composite stitches.

And, for all of you movie buffs out there (waving "hi" to Edgar and Kendra), the theme of this piece is stars from Hollywood's Golden Age. The stars/block are linked by a movie in which they both starred. So there's Marilyn Monrow, Clark Gable, Vivien Leigh, Marlon Brando, and many others! Cool, huh? If I can get thread pulled and some blank canvas purchased, I might actually jump into this one, although I promised myself that I would use it as a BAP for 2009. Oh well, we'll see.

EDITED TO ADD: Marilyn MonroW! Tee Hee! Now before you think me a complete nincompoop, please observe that the W key is right smack dab next to the E key on the typing machine. Stubby fingers...you do the math.

ALSO EDITED TO ADD: Ruth, the magnet thingies that I use on my projects are....wait for it....magnets! You can buy small round or square magnets at your LNS. Usually they're pretty plain, so I tart mine up with a dab of bead glue and a pretty gem of some sort or another. Then, if I'm feeling really sassy, I'll match my tarted up magnet to my scisssor fob!

Back to the laundry room! I left the piles neatly in place for the laundry elves to come along last night, but the little bastards didn't show up. Sigh. I'd make Stewey do it, but he's all thumbs when it comes to folding the sheets, and he leaves a fine patina of white downey fur on everything he touches, so alas, I am left to do it myself. If I'm not back in a week or so, please call the authorities.

THE SPINSTER STITCHER'S STITCHING NECESSARY

Several years ago, Chrissy and I attended a Stitchers' Day Out hosted by House of Stitches. The instructress for the event was the lovely Miss Sharon Henderson, Her Very Self. Sharon spent a few minutes at the beginning of the session talking about things one should carry in one's Stitcher's Necessary. I, of course, ran right out and bought every single item on the list and then carried the damn thing around with me like a handbag for about six months.

I've gone through several editions of my necessary, but the basic insides stay the same. It's the outside that changes according to my mood or what catches my eye at Michael's. The current version of the Spinster Stitcher's Stitching Necessary (version 8.0) is a little wooden box that was on sale for $7. Woo Hoo!

Now when I attend retreats or classes, I usually dump all of this stuff into a little bigger container and add a few more essentials, like cash, gum, breath mints, a small first aid kit, and some white cotton socks. Oh, and my traveling light.

But....here at home, this is all of the crap that lives on my $8 Target TeeVee tray next to my Happy Chair: A mesh bag with floss bags (hmmm, bags inside of bags), Thimble It stick-on thimbles, "My Favorite Stitches" stitchbook, some strips of felt for under Q-snaps.

Wet wipes, magnifying glasses, a glass cleaning cloth, and a little screwdriver to fix screws on said glasses.

Big scissors, a calculator, a mini stapler, small post-it pad, pencils, pens, and highlighters.

A hair tie, nail files, cuticle clippers (because I'm determined not to chew them anymore....disgusting habit), ChapStick, a tube of Vaseline, and some vitamin C drops.

A small tape measure, boo boo stick, seam ripper, laying tool, magnetized ruler, see through magnet chart marker thing, thread rings, Thread Heaven, Thread Thingies, tweezers, a star de-tailor, a needle tugger, magnets, counting pins, straight pins, needle threaders, scissor fob, ball of #12 perle cotton in ecru, a Sticher's Friend, Stitcher's Lotion, Liquid Stitch, Fray Check, and needles from 20-28 in separate marked containers.

A glass vase that only cost $1 at the Dollar Store holds all of my scissors and the blue thing next to it is The Bucket, which holds all of my orts.
When traveling, The Bucket folds flat, or I use a little plastic container that Chrissy gave me to shut me up when we went on our last excursion.

That's about it. There is, of course about a million different ways you could customize this for your very self. I know that I used to carry doodle cloths of linen and canvas for practice stitches, and I'm sure that I usually always throw Q-snaps into the bag too when I'm heading out into the wild blue yonder.

If you're headed someplace all official-like, then you'll definitely need a name tag, and I know that a lot of stitchers carry address labels so that they can swap info easily.

Whew! You'd think that with all of the crap I have in this box I'd get a lot more stitching done now, wouldn't you? Well, I did start Laura J. Perin's "Equilibrium" on Thursday night and I am really loving every minute of it. This was the very first LJP chart I purchased way back when, and at the time I changed all of the colors to reds. I am, though, stitching in all of the suggested threads this time and have to say that the blues are just gorgeous. I just can't figure out why I am constantly drawn toward blue in my stitching, yet I don't have one spec of it anywhere in my house. At all.
That's it for tonight, kids! Thanks for indulging my "look at me!" needs today. Right back at 'cha tomorrow morning, I promise!

AN APOLOGY TO MY LITTLE SISTER

So who knew I was so gd passive aggressive?

This is a public apology to my little sister, Chrissy. During our evening phone call last night, she informed me that my post about her "stung a little bit". Naturally, I went on the defensive and got all bitchy-like right back at her and said "Gee, I was just trying to do something nice".

So today I went back and read what I wrote.

Uh. Duh. You're right, Chrissy. It was rather "sting-y". You aren't high stress, high anxiety, high maintenance, or the strung out witchy pooh that I made you seem like. I am sorry.

So I got to thinking about why I would write such an awful thing and I couldn't help but get fixated on the whole doughnuts thing. Last weekend I noticed that we have a new doughnut shop in town that is supposed to be a great place for good old fashioned homemade doughnuts. So I got it in my head that it would be wonderful to have one of these good old fashioned homemade doughnuts with my Saturday morning coffee and newspaper. So I dropped about a billion hints Chrissy's way hoping that she would show up on Saturday morning with a dozen or so of these good old fashioned homemade doughnuts and she pretty much told me to go pound sand. Rather than get my big fat white hairy butt up and go get them myself, I pouted all weekend that I didn't get any doughnuts. So I suppose that my "Gee, look at what a wonderful stitcher my little sis" entry REALLY was all about was the fact that I was miffed over not being waited on hand and freakin' foot like the very Princess of the Universe that I am.

Now before you start to feel sorry for me that my little sister wouldn't bring me doughnuts and I am reduced to writing a snarky blog post about it, please let me tell you that when I get up in the morning, SOMEBODY has driven her little self over to my house to retrieve my newspaper out of the mailbox and deliver it right to my garage entry door so that I don't have to walk down the driveway to do so. SOMEBODY has been doing this for almost a year now, and every time I open that damn door and that paper is there I thank God for the little SOMEBODY that cares about me enough to make life a little easier for me. (Besides....she is scared to death that I will either a) fall down on said driveway and die a slow death until the UPS man finds me or b) that I'll get arrested for indecent exposure due to the state of my nightwear (see previous post). Either way, it's a gesture that does more for me than she can possibly imagine, and I am very grateful to her.

So Chrissy.....I love you and am sorry that I hurt your feelings. Please forgive me and know that there's nothing more important to me on this earth than your safety, health, and happiness.

P.S. I'd like sprinkles or a cream filled long john, please.

BEWARE OF DOG

I'd love to show you stitching. Really. I would. But there is NONE to show since I had to undergo/endure a sleep study last night. I am living proof that you can, in fact, fail at almost anything if you try hard enough.

I arrived at the appointed time of 7:30 pm with pillows and stitching bag in hand, as well as the semi-new pajamas that are semi-decent enough for public consumption. (Am I the only person on the planet that pulls scraps of material out of the dryer that should go immediately into the rag bin, but decides that they're "good enough to sleep in"?) If my house ever catches on fire, I'll be the one clutching a raincoat around me trying to hide the 15-year old t-shirt and bike shorts ensemble that I used to wear when working out. And since it's been at LEAST 15 years since I've worked out, you can imagine the state of my night wear.

Chrissy told me that I would just sit there and watch movies and stitch until it was time to get hooked up for bed. Nope. Not THIS sleep lab. Within 10 minutes of putting my fanny in the green pleather recliner, I was scrubbed, pasted, and attached to wires and probes and sensors. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move, and, most tragically, I couldn't stitch.

So I sat in the pleather recliner and pouted while flipping through the six channels on the TeeVee set. I will confess that three of the channels were broadcasting the RNC convention, so I did manage to catch about 3/4 of Sara Palin's speech. (Am I the only person who thinks she looks like an Entertainment Tonight correspondent?) Now if you're looking for me to start talking politics, sorry, kids. I would rather show you pics from my latest colonoscopy than get into any discussion of politcs, religion, sex, drugs, rock 'n roll, or the general state of affairs at my local Target store. I'm just not gonna' do it, but thanks for asking.

At 11:45 ON THE DOT, my new BFF Joanne came in to tell me it was time for bed. So I did a pitiful attempt at my nightly ablutions and headed back into the bedroom for what I assumed would be a pleasant 10 or 11 hours of shut-eye.

Here's a summary:

J: OK, Coni, into bed so I can hook you up. That's a good girl now. Just let me attach all of this stuff to the monitors and you'll be on your way.
ME: OK. I'm usually a really good patient for almost anything you have to do to me, so I'm sure this will be easy.
J: All hooked up now, dear. Now just make sure to sleep on your back and I'll come in and wake you up at six.
ME: My back? I'm sorry, but did you say sleep on my back?
J: Yes, you have to so that we can get a good test.
ME: Joanne, you've got a better shot at watching me pole vault this building than you do of even getting me onto my back, let alone getting me to sleep that way. I don't DO back.
J: Well, you're going to have to try. Now close your eyes and go to sleep.
ME: But I can't! I can't lay on my back! And what's that red light blinking at me on the ceiling?
J: That's the camera.
ME: You mean you want me to try to sleep on my back and then you're going to WATCH me try to sleep on my back!!!!
J: Yes, now go to sleep.
ME: I NEED VALIUM! I NEED AN ATTORNEY! I NEED MY STEWEY! I CAN'T SLEEP ON MY BACK! DON'T YOU PEOPLE WATCH ANIMAL PLANET! HAVEN'T YOU EVER SEEN WHAT HAPPENS TO THOSE POOR UNSUSPECTING TURTLES OF THE GALAPAGOS ISLANDS OR WHERE EVER THEY'RE FROM, I CAN'T REMEMBNER, BUT HAVENT' YOU EVER SEEN THOSE POOR THINGS FLIP OVER ONTO THEIR BACKS AND THEN DIE!!!!??????
J: You're not a turtle, dear. Now go to sleep.

I won't bore you with the next six hours because a) they involved a lot of swearing and finger pointing (hey, if they were going to watch me lay there helplessly I figured I'd put at least ONE finger to good use) and b) I am so ashamed that I wasn't able to do a basic human function for six lousy hours that I need to go hit myself in the head with a rock.

Needless to say, it was a LOOOOOOOONG night and I swear, as God is my witness, I will never go near a sleep lab again so long as I live, so help me God, as I live and breathe, etc. etc. etc.

So that's why there's no stitchy pics today, and that's why Stewey and I are headed for the sleigh bed for the next week or so to do some much-needed commiserating that Mommie had to go through such an awful trauma and nobody wants to give her any sympathy whatsoever. Sniff sniff. Sigh.

A lovely stitchy friend reader pointed out that I have not talked about my necessary. So sorry, Kathy. I do promise that my next post will be all about it.

So, goodnight, Cleveland. If I'm not back in a week or so, please send a Starbucks and my stitchy bag. I'm in for the duration.

SPINSTER STITCHER'S SISTER'S STITCHING

Isn't this fabulous?!! This is one of Chrissy's Happy Dances....Laura J. Perin's "Rambling Rose". Chrissy used Watercolors in "Cherry Cordial" and that wonderful chocolaty brown DMC #3371. I confess that this was the inspiration for my blackwork piece done in the chocolate and pink.


Now for bigger confessions.....Since June 6th (my very first post), I have definitely been bogarting all of the stitchy attention in our little family. The truth of the matter is that I feel very very bad about this, especially since it is all Chrissy's doing that I am even a stitcher in the first damn place.

Chrissy started stitching in the womb, I think. I know that when she was a little girl, she would watch mom needlepoint and that one of her very first projects was a little rabbit with the letter "R" on it. I think it was pink. I don't remember other things that Chrissy might have stitched when she was little, because I was too busy hogging all of the attention in the universe as the BIG SISTER WHO MUST BE WORSHIPED ACCORDINGLY.


When she was about 17 or so (at least I'm hoping I get these ages right), she worked for a doctor who happened to be a spinal surgeon. When he was in surgery, his office staff had enough free time that they could craft and sew and stitch. So Chrissy learned to use a sewing machine (something I still can't do), craft, and stitch. She picked up a few kits with DMC floss and Aida and away she went.


Her very favorite place in the whole world was a shop called "In Stitches" in Phoenix. I'm pretty sure that Chrissy spent almost every moment of her free time there, as well as a good portion of every paycheck. She was living with Dad at the time, so I would bet that there were a lot of nights when she be-bopped over to the store after work.


When she moved into an apartment, I happened to be in Phoenix, and Dad and I went to "help". At one point, Dad pulled me aside and said "CJ, I'm so worried about your sister. I think she has a drug problem. When she lived with me, she would come home with bags and go straight to her room, and she wouldn't come out for days at a time. Now there are all of these boxes, and I can't figure out what's in them. She never has any money, she's in her room all the time, and sometimes she disappears for hours and I have no idea where's she's gone." Just as I was peeking into one of the "boxes", Chrissy came up and said "Dad, all of that stuff is my stitching. I'm not drinking it, I'm not smoking it, I'm not sitting on a bar stool next to it, and I'm not sleeping with it." When she walked away, I thought Dad was going to keel over from relief. He never said a word again about her stitching or her stash. (Oh, yeah, BTW, the drinking, smoking, barstooling, and sleeping with it all came later, but that's another story for another day.)


So over the years, my sister developed into quite a needlewoman. Her first passion is counted cross stitch, and she would probably give her right arm for a trip to Shepard's Bush. Someday I hope I can take her there. She loves Shepard's Bush. Always has. Always will. She also does counted canvas work (as is evidenced by the LJP above), needlepoint, and hardanger. Well...not hardanger. She hated hardanger and swore at me for a month because I made her take a class with me.

I think the thing that most fascinates me about my sister and he stitching is that it is just not something I would think she would enjoy. My sister is....well....how can I say this nicely?....just not the most PATIENT person in the world. She's pretty high energy, high stress, high maintenance, and high anxiety most of the time. She's not one to just sit quietly and enjoy quiet. Or peace. Or calm. She's either yelling at the dog or stressing over the state of her aluminum siding, or bitching about something that happened at work. But you put a needle in her hand and she shuts right up and becomes a Zen Freakin' Master.


Like I said, I feel like a boob that I get all of the stitchy attention. I have adopted stitching as a passion now too, but I really feel like I came in and plopped myself right in the middle of her parade. I'm like the big ugly-ass float that you see in the Rose Parade every year and you wonder why the hell they let that thing in there and then you find out that the designer was the sister of the committee chairperson.


I'm trying to convince her to start a blog, I really am. She doesn't seem to be too keen on the idea, but I am assuming that a letter-writing campaign will do the trick. Or maybe a telethon. Either way, please stay tuned for more on my Stitchy Sister, since I think her stuff really needs to be shared with the universe.


As for me.....I made very very little progress on Witchy Wash last night. I don't know what my problem is with this, but every single stinkin' strand of Weeks Dye Works I've picked up in the last 48 hours has twisted and knotted beyond belief. Hmmmm. Maybe I need to switch to something else for a bit. Must be the moon."I'm so exhausted from all of this convention coverage. Why can't I be a simpleton like my mother and watch re-runs of "Sex and the City" instead?"

THE LEAVES FELL!

Woo Hoo for me! The first Happy Dance of the Fall season happened at 11:30 last night, which means I am a whole 30 minutes ahead of schedule. That has NEVER happened to me in my life, so I'd like to take a moment to relish in the delight of actually getting something finished ahead of time.....ahhhhhh.....there. All done now.

This is Laura J. Perin's "Falling Leaves" from her American Quilt series. I used different threads than the chart called for, but the result is pretty good, doncha' think? For the variegated, I used Needle Necessities floss. Everything else is DMC/Anchor #5 perle cotton. I especially like the tone-on-tone border in ecru that looks like repeating leaves. I just love tone-on-tone design.

This is a new addition to the Fall basket. Isn't she cute? Her name is Lily Frog and she is a painted canvas/three dimensional from Sew Much Fun.This is so totally NOT my usual style that I just had to have it. I believe that I was influenced by by Stewey's pet toad, Teddy. (I'm serious....since early Spring, we've have a cute little toad living in the front porch plants. One evening I was looking for Stewey and there he was, looking out the front side-light window with his little nose pressed against the glass. On the other side of the glass was a little toad. We named him Teddy and Stewey has to chat with him at least ten times a day or it's pout city around here.)

Speaking of Stewey.....he's unavailable for comment at the moment. Ever since he won the damn Doozie Ball World Championships he's been impossible. I tried to talk with him this morning and he put his little paw up and said "Sorry, you'll have to talk to my agent. I'm not doing press at this time." Hummppphhh. Damn dog outscores me by one lousy little stinkin' point and you'd think he had invented the game. (Actually, he did. But that's another story.)

For those of you who are just dying to know....a Doozie ball is basically a tennis ball on steroids. It measures about eight inches in diameter and is covered in the same yellow fuzzy stuff as a normal tennis ball.


What can I say? Stewey LOVES his balls.

Off to the Happy Chair! Aunt Chrissy and Bosco are coming over for some Labor Day stitching, movie watching, and then steaks on the grill! Woo Hoo!

FRIDAY IT 'TIS

This is the lovely "Falling Leaves" from Laura J. Perin. As you can see from the pic * , I have about 95% of it completed. Only four borders to go! I'm using Needle Necessities (now Threadworx) variegated floss and DMC#5 perle cotton. Methinks if I put my mind to it, this one will be ready for the framer by the end of the holiday weekend! Woo Hoo! What a great kick-off to my Fall stitching!

*EDITED TO ADD: Damnit, Gumby! I just had the picture here a minute ago! Talk amongst yourselves while I try to figure out where the hell it went.

Oh drat I can't find it. I'll have to show it to you later. Sigh.

I've also decided to ask for help with the "Bohemian Paisley" canvas, so I ordered a stitch guide. Unfortunately, I've never taken any needlepoint classes, so my ability to pick stitches and fibers for painted canvases isn't very good. I also suffer from a complete lack of confidence when it comes to doing it, so I figured I'd start with some help and then move on from there. Who knows? Maybe I'll like it so much that I'll get stitch guides for all of those lovely canvases languishing away in my stash?

Today is the semi-finals of the Doozie Ball world championships, so I have to go carbo-load. Stewey and I are tied at 5 matches apiece, so I am determined to teach the little squirt a lesson. Here we are on the practice pitch getting ready for the first kick-off.As you can see, my opponent is pretty formidable. Besides...he cheats.Here he is after a technical time-out due to the Doozie becoming trapped under the computer armoire. That's a two point penalty and requires the use of the stick (that would be the feather duster in real life) to get the ball back in play. Fortunately for us, Aunt Chrissy will be here shortly for dinner, so we'll have to take a break for the halftime festivities. Rumor has it that Sir Elton John will be performing and BLT's and pasta salad will be served in the concession stand.

Tune in to your local station for tournament results, or check out ESPN's whistle to whistle coverage.

For those of us in the good 'ol US of A, Happy Labor Day! For everybody else, Happy Weekend!

I'M READY FOR THE GREAT PUMPKIN, CHARLIE BROWN

I know, I know, it's only August 27th, but I'm headed out to the pumpkin patch to wait for Fall to arrive. I'm so ready it's not even funny.

It's not that the summer was awful or that anything made it seem like it lasted forever (but it sure did), but I'm ready to walk outside and smell fireplaces burning and then come in with cold cheeks and a runny nose. I want to watch Notre Dame football on the TeeVee and eat hard pretzels with cheese and then put something good in the crock pot. And, most importantly, I'm ready to wear clothes that don't make me wonder how the hell I manage to shrink everything in the dryer. Let's face it kids.....there comes a point in every Spinster's life when you just want to COVER THAT MESS UP.

So in the spirit of wanting it to be September for at least eighteen months a year, I put together my Fall Spinster Stitching basket. Yup. All ready to go with NEW STUFF that I haven't stitched yet, and some oldie but goodies that I have. Woo Hoo! (I swear, as God is my witness (you have to say that while shaking your hand at the sky like Scarlett O'Hara Her Very Self), I will NOT stitch "springy" again!) Well, OK, at least not for a little while anyways.

My plan is to work on this basket until November 1st, at which point I will bitch and moan and complain that I'm sooooo over Fall and that I'm ready for Christmas. Then I'll haul out the Christmas Spinster Stitcher basket and all will be merry and bright. (O Come, All Ye Faithful and all that good stuff.)

So what's in the freakin' basket, you ask? (You didn't actually think I would let you sit there yelling at the computer TOO long now, did ya'?) :

1) Birds of a Feather: "Bohemian Paisley" painted needlepoint canvas
2) LHN: "Peace" (I started this and got the word "Peace" finished)
3) Lizzie Kate: "Hocus Pocus"
4) La-D-Da: "Daisy Daisy Kit"
5) Shepherd's Bush: "Into the Night"
6) Shepherd's Bush: "Autumn Blessing"
7) Full Circle Designs: "Punkin Patches"
8) Bent Creek: "Autumn Snapperland" (I've almost got the border/outline finished)
9) Raise the Roof: "Witchy Wash" (I've got the dress and bloomers finished)
10) Julia Lucas: "Autumn Mosaic Pillow" hardanger (Y'all saw this one a few days ago)
11) LJP: "Indian Summer"
12) LJP: "Equilibrium"
13) LJP: "Falling Leaves" (This just has the outer border left to go!)
14) Kimberly: "Wandering" (I've finished two of the blocks..seven to go)
15) The Drawn Thread: "Sampler Game Board" (Four houses down, a gagillion to go)

Hmmm. So out of the 15 projects listed above, I've got a pretty decent start on 7 of them. If I was the type of person to get all statistical and such, I would say that I've got over half of them started and less than half of them brand spankin' new. Guess which half I'm most likely to start with tonight!

Man, it's a good thing that I didn't have kids. I'd be like that Mrs. Duggar down there in Arkansas that has 17 of 'em and just keeps on going! I suppose that it's the idea that starting something new is exciting and wonderful and you've got at least fifteen and a half minutes before you manage to screw it all up.

Which reminds me of a story.....when I lived in Atlantic City, I had to take a cab to Arkansas and the Boardwalk to meet some people for dinner. So I get in and politely say to the driver "Hello, kind sir, may I please be driven to Arkansaw and the Boardwalk, please?" At which point the driver turns around and says "Lady, there's no such thing. We don't have a street called Arkansaw. Do you mean Arkansas?" (He said it like Ar-KAN-sas.) I'm not kidding. It is pronounced ar-KAN-sas. Not AR-kan-saw.

Needless to say, it was a long six years for this stupid Hooiser. At least I kept the locals guessing what nutty thing was going to come outta' my mouth next.

Gotta' run. I promised Stewey that we'd watch "The Devil Wears Prada" again if he helped me fold the laundry. Ever since I bought him Martha Stewart's "Homekeeping" book he insists on supervising the folding of the linens and such. I swear I'm gonna' slap a tutu on that dog and call it a day.

EDITED BY MASTER STEWEY ANGUS WILLOWSWAMP HIS VERY SELF: OK, I've had it with the old lady and her derogatory comments about me and my likes and dislikes on this here damn blog. I like Martha Stewart and I like my linens folded properly. I also like the fashion montage' in "Devil/Prada" and I'm not ashamed to admit it. A tutu. The nerve. I blame all of you and your awards and your comments and your "Oh, Spinster Stitcher, you're so funny and brilliant". Humph. YOU don't have to live with her, people! Don't encourage her, OK? Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get my little silk smoking jacket out of the dryer and apply my night cream before tucking myself into bed.

STITCHING AND THE CITY?

So I was sitting there minding my own business when this utterly profound thought hit me smack dab between the eyes. I have replaced the Sex and the City girls and my obsession with watching every single solitary thing that happens in their lives with....wait for it....you know what I'm going to say, but you can't quite believe I'm going to.......YOU!

That's right. I now anxiously read about the comings and goings of the stitchy bloggy community as compulsively as I once watched Carrie buy shoes and Miranda have babies and Samantha entertain "gentlemen callers". I am like some kind of soap opera nut that just cannot function properly until I get my daily fix of being Gladys Kravitz and seeing what the heck is going on in your lives!

What are you stitching? What are you watching? What stash did you buy? How's the family and the pets and the car and the job? Did you have that conversation with that neighbor yet? Will you make tacos or salmon for dinner? When are you going on vacation? What will you take to stitch?

Oh. My. God.

When I was a kid, we would take walks around the block after dinner, and my favorite thing to do was peek into all the neighbor's front windows and see what they were up to and how they lived their lives. I confess to trying that here in this neighborhood, but since I'm the Neighborhood Watch Person In Charge of All Things Necessary To Pay Attention To, it isn't quite the same. Besides, my neighbors all close their drapes at night. Bastards.

So when you get that creepy feeling like somebody's watching you as you blog your way through Blogland.....don't panic. It's me. I'm actually a very friendly voyeur and won't cause any problems. I promise. Just keep me fed with all of the wonderful details of your lives and your stitching and your hopes and dreams and fears and aspirations and I'll be fine.

As for me, I got too wrapped up in some damn thing on the TeeVee tonight to make any stitchy progress, so I'll share pics tomorrow. Gotta' go now. Stewey has just thrown himself on the floor in a full-blown temper tantrum over the Doozie ball, and if I don't go un-wedge it from under the couch he won't speak to me for the rest of the evening.

So, thank you Stitchy Blogland for the endless hours of inspiration and entertainment! You've really made a difference in this poor little Spinster's life! Woo Hoo!

BYE BYE BEIJING

Well, I managed to completely dehydrate myself last night watching the closing ceremonies. I have no freakin' idea what my problem is, but I was WAY into the Olympics this year. Given that I'm not a huge sports fan, this was a very weird two weeks for me. You would have thought that I actually knew what I was watching half the time. There I was yelling and jumping up and down as if I had a clue and a half. I bawled my eyes out when they extinguished the flame and I was so moved to see the highlights of each day projected around the top of the stadium. So I cried so hard I gave myself a headache and had to go to bed with a cold washcloth on my head.

Well, the official consensus on "Primrose Path" is to stop now and leave the center trellis empty of all bud-type motifs. Chrissy took a good look at it and decided that she liked it better without, so without it is! Miss LJP Her Very Self did her model on a pretty green canvas, but I don't think it was marbleized, so I don't feel like too much of a boob for changing it. The pink canvas I used is just so pretty that I'd love for it to show through. So Happy Dance for me on the Primrose Path!

I picked up the September 2008 issue of Cross Stitch & Needlework magazine to see the Halloween Fairy that so many of you are working on, and I found this pretty hardanger piece to play with for autumn. I'm using a 28ct. evenweave in an antique white and Threadworx floss in color #1148. For the accent, I'm using a DMC #8 perle cotton in color #356. So far it's been really nice to work on and I hope to finish it this week.

I promised myself that if I got a few pieces done I would put together my fall basket on September 1st, but I don't know if I'll manage to wait that long. I already know that I want to put a painted canvas in there, along with a couple Laura J. Perins, and my big ass crewel sampler, but I'm not sure what cross stitch charts to do. I'm leaning toward the Shepard's Bush "Into the Night" and a few others, so methinks a few hours up in the studio poking around might be in order tomorrow. (Provided, of course, that I get the laundry done.)

Does anybody else have to bribe themselves to do stuff so that they can play without guilt?

Gotta' run....my boyfriend Anthony Bourdain is in Egypt tonight and I want to tune in!

Oh, and P.S....here are some answers to a few questions I've received in the comments: Hannah, Stewey has his insurance through VPI. I believe that you can find them online at http://www.my.petinsurance.com. Petra: I use stetcher bars and tacks to hold the marbleized canvas for stitching. All are usually available at your LNS or you could check an OLS too. Sheila: ditto for the marbelized canvas. I believe that it is made by Zweigart.

BACK TO THE PRIMROSE PATH

If I finish this tonight, it will be the third finish for me during the Olympics. Not bad, eh? Makes me almost happy that I gave up on the PROJECT THAT WILL NOT BE NAMED...EVER.

I'm filling in all of the trellis work with the little flowers. I almost got the outer border done last night, but realized that I still need to put little yellow buds on the tops of some stems. I should be able to do that pretty quickly and then on to the inside trellis!

I must confess that there is a part of me that wants to leave that inside trellis empty. The canvas has a marbleized effect, and I think it would be so pretty to let it show through. But that's a whole lotta' buds that would be left off, and I'm not sure if it will look right. I'll make Chrissy take a look at it and give me her unvarnished opinion.

Stewey's physical went swimmingly. He got an excellent report and Mommie Dearest was told to "keep doing whatever it is you're doing -- he's in great shape". Woo Hoo! I may be a lousy human being, but I'm a great Dog Mom! His little allergies have just started to pop up, so we're back on medicine for the time being and hopefully that will prevent it from getting too bad. Poor little guy....he's got seasonal allergies that make him just miserable about twice a year.

The happiest news was that the bill only came to $300, and that included all of his meds! And, with his insurance reimbursement, I think my portion will only be about $50. Just can't beat that. Here he is grabbing a power nap after his big day yesterday....see how he twists himself up like a little pretzel?

"Please, Mommie, I just need to have a little time to myself. Don't pick me up and kissy kiss me all day today. Can't you get a hobby or somthing?"

HAPPY DANCING ALL OVER THE PLACE

I have not one, but TWO finishes to share! The first is a free chart from http://www.dragonbear.com and is called "Icelandic Motif". I did this on gorgeous tobacco linen and used Waterlilies in Burnt Toast. This was one of the official 48 open WIP's and took me about a half-hour to complete. Humph.
Tonight's finish is "Garden Pleasures" by LHN. I flaked out at the end and decided to put my initials on the bottom instead of the words, but I'm not sure if it looks quite right. I'm going to fish through my button stash to see if I can find some bees for the upper left.

Woo Hoo! I'm not trying to get all of these things finished, but I sure am glad that I am! Stewey is dazzled and amazed at the amount of stitchy production that's coming out of the Happy Chair. He is, though, fretting about the looming box of finished/unfinished items that are stacking up in the "fuppy" box. Fuppy....I just love that. I saw it on a blog the other day and thought it was just the cute-ty-est.

We're off to the v-e-t tomorrow. Poor little guy has been having bouts of projectile up-chucking and he's awfully itchy. Methinks his allergies are starting to kick in and he'll probably have to get back on some medicine. He's also due for his annual physical, so I'm probably looking at about a thousand dollar bill to get out of there alive. Good thing Mommie was smart enough to buy puppy insurance!

OH! I'm sorry that I forgot to talk about my "necessary" today, but I promise that I'll get to it soon. Nighty night!

JOYFUL SUMMER HAPPY DANCE

I only have a few minutes before I have to hit the road for my Beginner's Crewel class at the library, but I wanted to post pics of CCN's "Joyful Summer". I'm not sure that you can see it in the photo, but I did tart this up quite nicely with a lot of seed beads.

Oh and P.S....it does occur to me that if I would have stayed with the PROJECT WHICH MUST NOT BE NAMED, I never would have had two finishes during the Olympics. Woo Hoo!

WHEW!

Methinks a good time was had by all at the Midwest Stash Exchange. Chrissy and I would like to thank everybody who stopped by the admission table to say hello. I was a bit overwhelmed to meet y'all, so I hope you will forgive the flop-sweat babble-headed way in which I greeted yous. (I can't help it....I'm terminally shy!)


Miss Linda and Miss Nancy and Miss Sharon and Miss Cherry and Miss Joy and Miss Sarah were all crazy-busy inside the shop, so I'm hoping that if you made the trip over you found lots of wonderful goodies to get you through the rest of the summer. Shall we do it all over again next year?


Now on to some important housekeeping matters.....viewer mail:


Miss Laura J. Perin: I used a pink Kreinik for the final installment of your blackwork. Part one was done in Caron Wildflowers "Fraises du Bois", Part two was DMC floss in 898 dark brown, and Part three was Kreinik #4 braid in 007HL. I just loved this piece and am thinking about doing it on several other color-ways. It was a GREAT introduction to blackwork!


Miss Teresa (of the fabulous Vera Bradley bag!): The plastic case inside my necessary comes from an organizer thingie that I bought at Michaels in the scrapbook section (why do they get all the cool toys?). Here's a pic:

And here's how you saw it on Saturday:Yes, of course, you can use any plastic organizer thingie that fits inside the bag, but this one has nifty compartments and still leaves room for a project or two. Stay tuned for my next post...I'll talk all about my necessary and what's in it.

Thread gadget: If you posted a comment asking me about the metallic thread gadget, would you be so kind as to send me your mailing address? Please email conijorich@aol.com with your name and address. Also, if you could please type "THREAD THINGIE" in the subject line I won't delete you as spam.

Yesterday was a bit of a blur, but I remember watching the Olympics and stitching "Joyful Summer". I will probably be able to finish this one up tonight and then on to the beading! I thought I would get it done last night, but I just couldn't tear my eyes away from my new boyfriend Michael. I need to talk with him, however, and let him know that once we're married he'll need to pull that suit up just a bit. Nobody needs to see Little Michael. Damn, that kid is yummy. And, as Stewey pointed out to me numerous time......HE LOVES HIS MOMMIE!

DR. PERIN, PAGING DR. PERIN

Ahhhh, bliss. Since abandoning THE PROJECT WHICH MUST NOT BE NAMED, I am back in the Happy Chair and loving stitchy life once again.

I happy-danced my way to finishing the Blackwork Mystery from Laura J. Perin. I don't think you can see the metallic very well, but it sure is purty in real life.

Metallic threads are normally the bane of my existence and I avoid them like the plague. Thanks to a stitchy Goddess friend, Miss Jean Her Very Self, I finally got the right tools to stitch with metallics. Have you seen these?

Well, let me tell you...these little gizmos are going to change the way I stitch. All those drawers full of metallic threads that have languished over the years are now going to get a workout! All you do is wrap an end of your thread around each one of these and then gently pull to get the bounce and kink out of the thread. Magic! I never in a million years thought I would use Kreinik without needing an emergency trip to the therapist's office, but viola', I used it last night and enjoyed every stitchy minute of it.

I also made some nice progress on Joyful Summer, and it shouldn't be too long before I can break out the beads and tart that thing right up.

Aunt Chrissy and I will be loading up the car for the Midwest Stash Exchange tomorrow. If you stop by, we'll be at the entrance table collecting your hard-earned cash. They say it's supposed to be beautiful weather...woo hoo!

Off to PetSmart for Stewey's spa day. He's extremely fastidious about his appearance and personal hygiene, and he asked me to take him in for a little spiff up today. He'll have a b-a-t-h and get his nail trimmed. If he's really good, they'll give him a little spritz of GameTime cologne and then I won't be able to leave the damn dog alone.

So from my Spinster Stitcher Studio to yours, I wish you love and best stitches! (Oh, tee hee! I just made a typo there and said "love and best bitches! Woops.)

DISQUALIFIED

Judges decided. Stripped of medals and sent home. Tears, hair pulling, and head-hanging. Packed with bellboy watching that I didn't take the soap. Cab driver asked how I fared in competitions. Sobbed quietly while boarding flight home. Coach. No movie, blanket, or pillow. Home to empty house. Town cancels welcome home parade. Stench of failure so bad I have to move.

We must never speak of this again.

I'VE BEEN WARNED

Well, the Olympic Judging Committee is in conference to determine whether or not I can continue to compete in The Games. I've received several warnings and "bad form" reprimands from my team coach, and it looks like I might be sent home. Oh, the shame of it all.

This #&@$*#&-ing project is causing me waaaaay too much angst to qualify as a pleasant pastime anymore. With each block I am increasingly angry that I decided to do this damn thing, and I just want to chuck it all and start something new.

I confess...I was drawn in by the pretty picture on the cover and my heart swelled with national pride as I daydreamed about me sitting in the Happy Chair cheering the US on to victory while happily stitching away. I imagined the crowd's roar as the piece was presented for framing, and I drooled over the thought that every single person who entered Chez Spinster would be agog over the amazing piece of stitchy-ness hanging in the hallway. Hells Bells, I even thought of dedicating a whole new wing to this piece, heretofore called the "Spinster Stitcher Goddess Project That Is The Most Wonderful Thing On The Planet" wing.

I should have just read the damn thing, and then I would have realized that this is NOT a stitch guide, per se. It's a pretty picture of a flag, a list of threads that the author used (which, by the way were a bloody $#&%^ fortune!), and then 247 stitch "suggestions" that you can put in the boxes. With all due respect to Ms. Donegan, I was kinda' hoping that I'd get a little more direction for a piece of this size, but, then again, I am extremely high maintenance when it comes to "stitching it correctly".

I'm thinking that if I would have started with the painted canvas then I'd be standing on the podium clutching those daffodils and kissing a medal. But as it is, I'm standing in my driveway clutching my fists and kissing nothing.

Maybe I should just have a cocktail and go with the flow. (That would be swell if I cocktailed and went flow-wise). As I mentioned in a previous post, I am so determined to keep going on this because I really AM the type of person who says "screw it" and quits at least eleventy-seven times a day. This thing represented a new leaf for me. (You would think I could have picked an easier thing to work on, like nuclear fission or folding the clothes in the dryer without needing an act of Congress to do so, but this is me we're talking about.)

I'm chalking it all up to PMS.....Project Mental Strain. A few Midol and I should be just fine. Let's just hope the judges show pity on me.

Stay tuned, loyal viewers. The final decision will be handed down within the next 24-hours. In the meantime, Stewey and I are heading over to the pool to see the teeney weeney bathing suits on the mens' synchro diving teams. (Geeze, Louise...those things give "tuck" a whole new meaning.)

"I can't take it anymore. Maybe if I just lie here quietly, she'll go away."

A NOTE FROM STEWEY

My mom can't come to the blog right now. She's out in the driveway driving the car back and forth over her Olympic Stitching Project. I told her she could use my scooter (given gas prices and all), but the old lady tore outta' here with her hair on fire. Man, I haven't seen her this mad since I peed all over the clothes hanging on the bottom part of her closet.

All I know is that the last several days around here have been miserable. Things got so bad that my Aunt Chrissy won't even come over for dinner any more! And that's the only time of the day that I can usually count on some kind of civilized conversation for cripe's sakes! I can do without my pesky little cousin Bosco coming over, but Aunt Chrissy is my salvation!

From what I gather, Mom thought that this book was going to be a stitch guide that would tell her how to make the flag picture on the front cover. She saw the book a few years ago at the needlepoint shop, and Aunt Chrissy bought it for her for Christmas. Mom was holding on to it to stitch at the "perfect occasion", and she figured the Olympics would work rather nicely. So she put together the huge-ass canvas (oops, I'm not allowed to say bad words), gathered up about a bazillion dollars worth of threads, and she even broke out the big floor stand to get ready. (By the way, I hate the floor stand. I scares me and I can't sit next to my mom in the Happy Chair when it's there....poop.) (Oooops, must be the stress that's causing me to lose my manners. Sorry.)

Well, when mom called Aunt Chrissy to complain about this thing tonight, she said that the book sucked in so many ways she didn't know where to start. I guess it doesn't tell her what thread goes where and then when she tries to figure out the stitch, some of the charts are all wonky.

I just don't know what to do. If she doesn't come inside soon, the neighbors are going to call the Mishawaka Police Department, and that will be very embarrassing. My mom is the Neighborhood Watch Captain so I can only imagine what will happen when they take her away in a "special van".

Uh oh. Looks like she's coming. I have to go now. I'm not allowed to use the 'puter without supervision.

Goodnight Cleveland! We love you!
Stewey

P.S. I snapped a few pics of the Olympic Stitching Project before Mommie Dearest took it outside:

VIEWER MAIL

I apologize that I am not responding to individual comments, but I am training for the Computer Incompetence event that will take place this afternoon, and I don't want to jeopardize my chances for winning what will surely be a gold medal. Stupid bloody box. Why can't they make a machine that makes sense to me?

Anywhoose....welcome to all you new readers out there! I hope that you've found a comfy seat and that you're properly belted in for your journey through CrazyStitchyVille. Pay no attention to the stash debris along the side of the road, and don't get offended by an occasional swear word or two. I promise the journey will be worth the price of admission.

Michael Symon on Dinner Impossible: Are you KIDDING me? As y'all know I am single-mindedly obsessed with Chef Robert Irvine. What genius at the Food Network decided that Michael Symon would be a suitable replacement? With all due respect to Chef Symon...you're no Robert Irvine! Sorry, but I can't trust any man with a neck.

English tea time at Chez Spinster: Thank you for all of the lovely offers to send me tea. Thanks to TARGET! I am now the proud owner of not one, but TWO tins of Archer Farms brand loose tea. Every afternoon Stewey and I settle in for a pot and a snack. We haven't mastered the fine art of tea sandwiches yet, so I just cut up a few Pop Tarts and call it a day.

My WIP basket: I blame it on medication withdrawl. Why I decided to count my open projects is beyond me, but you'll be happy to know that I whittled down the basket to contain only 21 projects. My logic was that there were 21 weeks left in the year and I might actually be able to complete some of them before the clock stuck midnight on December 31st. This was a great plan except for the fact that I completely forgot about my *%#$^% Olympic Stitching Project. (Heavy sigh.)

Frame Weight/La D Da project: All stitched, but not finish-finished. I am struggling with the contents of said frame weight. I thought of ammunition, since it would be heavy, but Chrissy pointed out that me buying anything remotely dangerous at the local Wal-Mart is simply out of the question. So methinks I need to get some of those pellet thingies at JoAnns or Hobby Lobby. Since I am not allowed in either establishment until September 1st, this one will have to wait a little while longer. (I've had an electronic monitoring device installed on my ankle and every time I decided to go buy something related to stitching it beeps like crazy until I slink back to the car and go the hell home).

Advice for doing canvas work: Laura J. Perin! I am a proud member (and future potential President) of her fan club. I highly recommend starting with something from her American Quilt Series. Her charts are simply excellent and you can really play with color and still do the design justice. I would NOT suggest starting canvas work with my %$*&^%^ Olympic Stitching Project, since God only knows we don't need TWO people bitching about it StitchyBloggerWorld.

Lily canvas that is in my slideshow: Wow, this is the second time somebody has asked me about that canvas (beaming with pride, but then realizing that it's probably just because you like lilies...I'm such a boob). This is a painted needlepoint canvas by LEE. I did it in Gumnuts silks and Soie d'alger. I struggled with the stitches, but was tickled pink when it was finished. Now, sadly, it languishes in the "what the hell do I do with it now" drawer.

Whew! I think that covers all of the questions from the floor. Thanks for coming to today's press conference. I'll be back again soon with pictures of the progress (or dismal lack thereof) of the %&$*# Olympic Stitching Project.

Oh, and P.S....yes, I'm in my own little world, but it's OK. They know me here.

BRINGING HOME THE GOLD

We're four days into The Games, and I've managed to earn two golds and a bronze.

My first event was the Bitching, Moaning, and Complaining Triathlon. I not only won a gold medal in this event, I beat the world record time of fifteen seconds of daylight before I was in full-snit mode.

Winning Pouting was also tough, but somehow I managed to push through and I again found myself on the podium with the gold and a lovely bunch of daffodils for my efforts.

I was only able to take a bronze in Being a General Pain in the Ass, since I spent too much time in bed pulling the covers over my head to fully qualify.

This Olympic Stitching Project is going to be the death of me. I've managed to finish fifteen blocks (out of 247), and I've had to resist the temptation to throw this damn thing out the window at least a dozen times. I'm in love with it one minute and then hating it the next. There's no rhyme nor reason as to why I can't get my brain around this one....I mean, all you need to do is pull thread and stitch a stupid little box of 18 stitches by 18 stitches in whatever stitch the book calls for. So what if the charting....well.....um.....sucks. (Sorry, but I am having one heck of a time understanding the stitch guides for this one and methinks it can't possibly be my fault). (Note: My next event is Passing Blame, so we'll consider that last remark my training for the day).

I am, however, determined to persevere. I'm not exactly known for my stick-to-it-tive-ness, so I'm giving this one everything I've got. Usually when the going gets tough I find a book and a diet Coke and wait until somebody else figures it out. Not this time, though. I. Will. Keep. Going.

OLYMPIC HANGOVER AND CATCHING UP ON CORRESPONDENCE

Dear China: Y'all sure know how to throw a party! If your goal was to showcase your country and get people like me to want to travel there... mission accomplished.

Dear London: I, for one, would not be at all offended if you decided to just say "Sod it" and not have Opening Ceremonies in 2012. I mean, how the heck do you top Friday night? Maybe we could all just come for tea?


Dear Ralph Lauren: Love your stuff usually, but did you HAVE to dress the US Olympic team up to look like United Airlines flight attendants?

Dear United Airlines: Thanks for loaning us your outfits.

Dear Mariel Zagunis: Well, look at you girlfriend! Thank you for winning the gold and showing Jimmy Clausen that he's not the only athlete at Notre Dame.

Dear Coach Weis: Please put a picture of Mariel Zagunis on Jimmy Clausen's locker and explain to him what REAL athletic accomplishment is all about. Oh, and that taking a gold in the "Beer Olympics" isn't funny. At all.


Oey....what a hangover! Chrissy and I watched every single solitary moment of the Opening Ceremonies and were awed. Just when we thought were done saying "Wow, that was just freakin' nuts", we did it again. And again.

I'm not sure what the heck the fascination is for us to watch the games, but we sure are enjoying them. As is evidenced by the picture below, I re-arranged the living room a bit to accommodate a comfy chair for Chrissy and her stitching. We managed to stitch until almost 2am last night/this morning and we're ready to go again!

"Patchwork of Peace" is coming along nicely, but I must confess to feeling a little frustrated with the book. When I stitch a Laura J. Perin design, I feel like Ms. Laura is right there with me saying "OK, now this next part is going to be really fun, but a little hard. So let me show you how I did it and I'll be right here if you need help." This book leaves me feeling a little bit "You're on your own, kid", so I'm muddling through the best I can. I guess that's why it's a "teaching piece", right? Here's the first six blocks completed. (Out of a total of 247. Geeze, Louise, why did I pick such a HUGE project?)

Finally, I'll leave you with a pic of Stewey:He demanded his tea and toast on the patio this morning and now he's lounging on his little pillow in the sunshine. The little pillow next to him is actually supposed to be in his "apartment", but he dragged it out last night so that his little cousin Bosco could have a place to nap too.

This is my nephew puppy tot, Bosco. (He is Stewey's actual cousin....Stewey's Dad Angus and Bosco's Mom Twiggy are brother and sister):Isn't he just the cutest? Bosco and I have a very special bond. Sometimes I go over to Chrissy's house just to visit with him. His personality is hilarious, and he is really a little boy trapped in the body of a Jack Russell. If Stewey is Nathan Lane, Bosco is definitely Joe Pesci.

I'm off to the Happy Chair for more Olympics and stitching! I hope you're having a splendid weekend!

WHAT THE......

Sorry, kids, but I woke up on the wrong side of the web this morning. As Chrissy will attest, I am NOT my usually chipper self. I know it's a medication thing, but Geeze Louise, I could kick a kitten through an electric fan.

OK, now before you call the authorities, you should know that I could NEVER hurt a kitten or any other living creature, but at the moment the thought of it brings me a little comfort for some whak-a-do reason. Let it go, I beg you.

I suppose if I were, in fact, Holly GoLightly I would say that I have a case of "the mean reds". But since I'm neither Holly nor GoLightly, we'll just chalk this up to Mercury being in retrograde or something that sounds all scientific-like and move on.

So what did I do to snap my self out of it, you ask? Did I settle into the Happy Chair with a cup of tea (THANKS! by the way for all of the excellent info on that), or snuggle the dog, or stitch something wonderful?

Nope. I went up into the studio and decided to do an inventory of all of my open projects. Now why in the holy hell I decided to do this is completely beyond me, since all it did was convince me that I should probably check into a facility sooner rather than later. FORTY-EIGHT open projects. FORTY-EIGHT.

The worst part of it is that they all sat there and mocked me. Yup. Every single solitary one of them. "Remember me? I'm the painted canvas you just HAD to HAVE. You put three stitches in me and now I sit here all abandoned." Or "How about me? I'm the bargello project that you saw in a magazine and you spent three days trying to find the perfect shade of blue and then you got me 7/8 of the way done and then you got bored." And on and on it went.

Chrissy came for dinner and talked me off the ledge a bit, and then I stomped my way back downstairs with a few small cross stitch pieces to put next to the Happy Chair in the event that they decide to stitch themselves finished in the middle of the night tonight.

Methinks I will pop "You've Got Mail" into the player-thingie and just forget about life for awhile.As God is my witness, there's NOTHING that a little Meg and Tom can't fix.

Don't cry for me Argentina, I promise that this is indeed a very temporary state of mind and that I'll be back to my crazy-ass perky little self toot sweet!

So from my Happy Chair to yours...I send you love and best stitches!

DAMN, DRAT, AND PHOOEY

Before we begin, could somebody please indulge me for a moment and explain what constitutes a proper English tea? I've decided to implement 4:00 tea time here at Chez Spinster, but I don't have the first darn clue as to how one goes about it. I've always wanted to know how to prepare a pot of tea in the correct manner, but the only reference I've ever seen was in Oprah's magazine. (With all due respect to our girl "O", I don't think she's the necessary authority on the subject.) So if somebody out there will help a heathen out, I'd be much obliged.

As for the title of today's post, it has to do with the fact that I'm all "up in my head" again with my stitching. As you might have observed, I have not participated in the Rotation That Must Be Obeyed in quite some time. When I was participating in a rotation I confess to feeling all smug and satisfied that I was "accomplishing" so much. Now that I'm left to my own devices, I seem to be mucking about without any proper supervision whatsoever.

Why does my stitching have to be "accomplishing" anything? Why can't I just sit in my damn Happy Chair and stitch whatever the h-e-double-toothpicks I feel like on that particular day? Why do I feel the need to "organize, assess, and plan" something that is supposed to make me get off the ledge? Why???

I simply hate having all of these WIP's, but then I see something up in the studio that just CALLS to me and BAM! I've got another new project going. So then I decide to make goals for myself and I get a rather half-assed notion of what I'm going to stitch for the next month or so and BAM! my BFF Laura J. Perin posts the last installment of the Blackwork Challenge.

Oh, to heck with it. I made a promise to myself long ago that I wasn't going to put my head on my pillow coffin and wish that I would have stitched less or drank lousy coffee. I suppose that I should just romp around all of this stuff and play to my heart's content. I could drive myself nuts with worry and stress over what to do next and what's the perfect date to start Christmas stuff, and I could walk down the driveway to get the mail and get hit by a bus. Wouldn't that be a riot? Spend all my time planning and then POOF! no more stitching.

So here's my manifesto for the day....I, Coni J. Rich Her Very Self, do solemnly swear to stitch without getting "all up in my head". I promise to work on things that make my heart sing and I promise to pay attention to how much enjoyment the piece adds to my pitiful little life. I will not bitch about my stash, my WIP's, my BAP's or any other letter-group related to stitchy things. I will read blogs and rejoice in the accomplishments of others without wondering why I can't seem to finish one damn thing myself. I will not view this as a competitive sport, I will encourage other stitchers in their work, and I will try to remember why I started to stitch in the first place. Signed, sealed, and delivered this day in August (which I don't know because I'm too lazy to go find a calendar), 2007. Or is it 2008?

My new start for the weekend is a counted canvas piece by a designer named Kimberly. The title of the piece is called "Wandering" and I've had it forever, it seems. I did start it several times, but I always abandoned it because it called for a stem stitch. Well, thanks to my Beginner's Crewel class, I now know how to do the stem stitch, so VOILA'! we're back in business! Yup, I did change some colors. I am substituting "Olive Grove" for "Antique Brass" and I changed the Impressions to reflect an olive/dark purple kind of thing. I also changed the canvas color from pewter grey to brown. I did keep all of the other silks as per the chart, and they're HEAVEN to stitch with! I'm going to get right back to this as soon as I sign off for the day.

I'll leave you with this pic of Stewey. He seems to have figured it out....when in doubt, surround yourself with things you love and take a nap!

So in the words of Ms. Paula Dean Her Very Self (adapted for us, of course).....From my studio to yours, I send you love and best stitches!

WE'RE READY FOR THE GOLD

Stewey and I were really intrigued by the idea of taking up a project for the duration of the Olympics. I first read about this challenge on Ms. Stitch Bitch Her Very Self's blog and I haven't let go of it since. (Here....I'll try to use the thingie that allows me to add a link and we'll see if it works: http://www.stitchbitch.blogspot.com).

Anywhoose, I thought about it and thought about it and thought about it, and after a lot of conferences with my colleague, we decided to do this:

This is an amazing book that was a long-ago Christmas present from Chrissy. It's called "Patchwork of Peace" and the author/designer is Mary Clark Donegan. This book consists of 247 squares of different stitches that she put together in the likeness of an American flag. I suppose you could do almost any flag, but since I'm a Hoosier American and all, I figured we'd go with the red, white, and blue.

The canvas for this piece measures out to be 18 inches by 24 inches, so methinks this will be interesting to play with. Stretcher bars or scroll rods? I'll definitely have to dust off the floor stand for this one, which means Stewey will be forced off the ottoman and onto his perch for the duration.

I'll leave you with a pic of the little man himself practicing his "thank you for my gold medal, Mr. President" pose. He's really excited to be going to the games and hopes to bring home the gold in several events. If any of them involve lifting a leg or barking at the UPS man, he's got a very good chance.