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I apologize that I am not responding to individual comments, but I am training for the Computer Incompetence event that will take place this afternoon, and I don't want to jeopardize my chances for winning what will surely be a gold medal. Stupid bloody box. Why can't they make a machine that makes sense to me?

Anywhoose....welcome to all you new readers out there! I hope that you've found a comfy seat and that you're properly belted in for your journey through CrazyStitchyVille. Pay no attention to the stash debris along the side of the road, and don't get offended by an occasional swear word or two. I promise the journey will be worth the price of admission.

Michael Symon on Dinner Impossible: Are you KIDDING me? As y'all know I am single-mindedly obsessed with Chef Robert Irvine. What genius at the Food Network decided that Michael Symon would be a suitable replacement? With all due respect to Chef Symon...you're no Robert Irvine! Sorry, but I can't trust any man with a neck.

English tea time at Chez Spinster: Thank you for all of the lovely offers to send me tea. Thanks to TARGET! I am now the proud owner of not one, but TWO tins of Archer Farms brand loose tea. Every afternoon Stewey and I settle in for a pot and a snack. We haven't mastered the fine art of tea sandwiches yet, so I just cut up a few Pop Tarts and call it a day.

My WIP basket: I blame it on medication withdrawl. Why I decided to count my open projects is beyond me, but you'll be happy to know that I whittled down the basket to contain only 21 projects. My logic was that there were 21 weeks left in the year and I might actually be able to complete some of them before the clock stuck midnight on December 31st. This was a great plan except for the fact that I completely forgot about my *%#$^% Olympic Stitching Project. (Heavy sigh.)

Frame Weight/La D Da project: All stitched, but not finish-finished. I am struggling with the contents of said frame weight. I thought of ammunition, since it would be heavy, but Chrissy pointed out that me buying anything remotely dangerous at the local Wal-Mart is simply out of the question. So methinks I need to get some of those pellet thingies at JoAnns or Hobby Lobby. Since I am not allowed in either establishment until September 1st, this one will have to wait a little while longer. (I've had an electronic monitoring device installed on my ankle and every time I decided to go buy something related to stitching it beeps like crazy until I slink back to the car and go the hell home).

Advice for doing canvas work: Laura J. Perin! I am a proud member (and future potential President) of her fan club. I highly recommend starting with something from her American Quilt Series. Her charts are simply excellent and you can really play with color and still do the design justice. I would NOT suggest starting canvas work with my %$*&^%^ Olympic Stitching Project, since God only knows we don't need TWO people bitching about it StitchyBloggerWorld.

Lily canvas that is in my slideshow: Wow, this is the second time somebody has asked me about that canvas (beaming with pride, but then realizing that it's probably just because you like lilies...I'm such a boob). This is a painted needlepoint canvas by LEE. I did it in Gumnuts silks and Soie d'alger. I struggled with the stitches, but was tickled pink when it was finished. Now, sadly, it languishes in the "what the hell do I do with it now" drawer.

Whew! I think that covers all of the questions from the floor. Thanks for coming to today's press conference. I'll be back again soon with pictures of the progress (or dismal lack thereof) of the %&$*# Olympic Stitching Project.

Oh, and P.S....yes, I'm in my own little world, but it's OK. They know me here.