AN APOLOGY TO MY LITTLE SISTER

So who knew I was so gd passive aggressive?

This is a public apology to my little sister, Chrissy. During our evening phone call last night, she informed me that my post about her "stung a little bit". Naturally, I went on the defensive and got all bitchy-like right back at her and said "Gee, I was just trying to do something nice".

So today I went back and read what I wrote.

Uh. Duh. You're right, Chrissy. It was rather "sting-y". You aren't high stress, high anxiety, high maintenance, or the strung out witchy pooh that I made you seem like. I am sorry.

So I got to thinking about why I would write such an awful thing and I couldn't help but get fixated on the whole doughnuts thing. Last weekend I noticed that we have a new doughnut shop in town that is supposed to be a great place for good old fashioned homemade doughnuts. So I got it in my head that it would be wonderful to have one of these good old fashioned homemade doughnuts with my Saturday morning coffee and newspaper. So I dropped about a billion hints Chrissy's way hoping that she would show up on Saturday morning with a dozen or so of these good old fashioned homemade doughnuts and she pretty much told me to go pound sand. Rather than get my big fat white hairy butt up and go get them myself, I pouted all weekend that I didn't get any doughnuts. So I suppose that my "Gee, look at what a wonderful stitcher my little sis" entry REALLY was all about was the fact that I was miffed over not being waited on hand and freakin' foot like the very Princess of the Universe that I am.

Now before you start to feel sorry for me that my little sister wouldn't bring me doughnuts and I am reduced to writing a snarky blog post about it, please let me tell you that when I get up in the morning, SOMEBODY has driven her little self over to my house to retrieve my newspaper out of the mailbox and deliver it right to my garage entry door so that I don't have to walk down the driveway to do so. SOMEBODY has been doing this for almost a year now, and every time I open that damn door and that paper is there I thank God for the little SOMEBODY that cares about me enough to make life a little easier for me. (Besides....she is scared to death that I will either a) fall down on said driveway and die a slow death until the UPS man finds me or b) that I'll get arrested for indecent exposure due to the state of my nightwear (see previous post). Either way, it's a gesture that does more for me than she can possibly imagine, and I am very grateful to her.

So Chrissy.....I love you and am sorry that I hurt your feelings. Please forgive me and know that there's nothing more important to me on this earth than your safety, health, and happiness.

P.S. I'd like sprinkles or a cream filled long john, please.