I really should have explained that the bounty above is only partially my fault. I am taking full responsibility for the household items, tea, and damn good. The crap on the counter? That's all Magoo, my friends. If I'm stress eating, then he is certainly guilty of stress shopping down the wrong damn aisles of the Martins.
(But I might or might not have hidden twelve Oreos in the bottom of the freezer in case of an emergency.)