FINALLY!

My appetite has been totally off for almost a year now.  And while this has really helped with my grocery budget, it means that I just haven't had a decent meal that tasted good and/or blew my skirt up in quite some time.

(Cheeseburgers don't count.  Cheeseburgers almost always blow my skirt up.)

I have been eating a bagel with crunchy peanut butter on it every day, so when I ran out of said bagels and was at the Martin's to get more, I also picked up a gorgeous piece of salmon and some shrimps.

So after my planning and laundry folding and Sunday afternoon vacuuming extravaganza, I decided to get back into the kitchen, channel my inner Ina, and make a proper dinner once and for all.

Oh. 

Holey.

Schmoley.

I did it!  I finally managed to make sometng that turned out better than I could have imagined and tasted so good that I actually slowed down and savored every bite!

Here's how I did it...(this is actually more for me so that I can try to repeat it):

* Generously salt and pepper salmon and shrimp and set aside.

* Make sauce: 

1/4 cup dark brown sugar

2T coarse ground mustard

4 cloves garlic minced (I used a microplane)

2T low sodium soy sauce

1T hot sauce (I used cocktail sauce because that's what I had)

1t hot red pepper flakes

4T olive oil (maybe more to loosen mixture)

*Preheat 2-3T olive oil over med high heat in a non-stick pan and pre-heat broiler.

*Sautee salmon, flesh side down for four or five minutes until cooked about half-way through.

*Flip to skin side down and cover with sauce.

* Tilt the pan and spoon the sauce over the salmon until sauce is reduced and salmon is glazed and almost cooked through, about two minutes.

*Move salmon onto broiler pan, add shrimp to non-stick, and broil the salmon while the shrimp is cooking in the sauce...about five minutes total.

*Serve atop buttered parsley rice.

This was just so tasty!  Sweet, spicy, garlicky....I imagine that this sauce would also be great on chicken or pork, or even steak!  The only thing I wish I would have done differently was my brussell sprouts...I only had frozen but roasted with shallots would have been better.

THANKS, DEAR LOU!!

My very dear friend Lou sent me a Valentine, and enclosed inside were Peanuts stickers!  So...my Sunday afternoon planning resulted in...

Can I just tell you how incredibly happy a fews hours spent playing with paper and stickers and glue and washi tape and markers and glitter can make me?

I was so jazzed that I ended up folding two loads of laundry and running the vacuum afterwards!!

Thank you, dear Lou, for the love!

THANK YOU MR. SPACEY

I started watching House of Cards on the Netflix yesterday, and looked up after six hours and realized that I had been stitching almost the entire time!

I thought about starting something new today, but I think I'm going to keep going with this a little longer.

WooHoo!

PIT. TEE. FULL.

I stitched last night, but only very briefly.  It was an exercise in frustration, since I got distracted by something on the TeeVee or the FlossTube, and I found myself in the proverbial "SQUIRREL!!" stance every six minutes like some kind of demented little terrier.

(Speaking of which...I dreamed about Stewey last night for the first time since his passing.  Not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but...he was there and I could almost feel his soft downy-ness and smell his baby shampoo-ness right there in the big girl sleigh bed.)

It's almost 4 o'clock in the afternoon, and so far all I've managed to do is read newspapers, an old New Yorker, and eat a little quiche.

Actually, quite blissful.

I promised myself that today I would give stitching another go, but this time I would put the iPad away to avoid distractions.  Guess I better get to it.

Hope your weekend is going swimmingly and that you are doing exactly what you want to do!

BY WAY OF FURTHER EXPLANATION ABOUT BUZZY...

OK, dearies...I'm sorry to have confused you and gotten things excited.

Buzzy is the name that I've given to my AV fistula.  A fistula is created to allow a bigger/stronger vessel for hemo-dialysis.  In my case, the incision is in the inner bend of my left elbow, and the actual fistula area is just above the bend on the inside of my arm.  As the blood flows through this new pipe, you can feel a "buzzing" sensation....called the thrill.

I'm happy to show a picture...but WARNING!!!  NOT SUITABLE FOR ALL VIEWERS!!

Look away, Betty!  Look away!

'Scuse the striations on my arm, please.  I am covered with terrible stretch marks from the Prednisone incident if 1999 in which I gained 200 pounds in three months and there was not enough cocoa butter in the world to prevent me looking like a circus freak for the rest of my life.

Also..the discoloration across the scar is actually the Betadine that is still on the clear plastic tape that goes across the wound.  When I came home from surgery, I thought they had actually given me a spray tan because my entire left side was dyed bright orange!

Oh, and finally...no bandages or dressings or stitches to contend with, so I was able to shower the very next day!  Just can't soak in a tub until next week...counting down the days!

So that's Buzzy...here to stay and hopefully do his thing until Spare Parts and I are able to head to Indy for testing and transplant.

MY NEW PET

His name is Buzzy.

Buzzy MacBuzzerson, to be exact.

We've been together ten days now, and methinks this might be the real thing and we could be in it for the long haul, so I figured I'd introduce you.

Buzzy was born on Tuesday, January 31 in Memorial Hospital of South Bend.  He weighs nothing, and is approximately nine and a half inches long.  He is still a bit red in the face and a little swollen from the birthing process, but in time he will calm down and behave himself nicely.

My job as Mommie is to water him and keep him clean and to protect him from any harm that might come by way of heavy lifting, bumping, or anything tight around his little neck.  

When he's old enough, Buzzy and I will take field trips together that will mean sitting in a chair quietly for a little while.  We've been practicising this, and so far we are doing swell with it.

Buzzy met our family doctor today and thought she was very nice.  She gave him a little check-up, felt his temperature, and told him to grow big and strong.  It was a lovely visit.

Just like his Mommie. Buzzy likes to take long snoozy naps, and he especially enjoys being cuddled up in something soft and cozy...like a special blanket that his Mommie keeps in the bed that belonged to the little love of her life.  Buzzy is very careful with the blanket and feels that it has protective powers.

All in all, life with Buzzy is starting well.  We're going to read the paper and then have a little rest this afternoon.   We're a bit worn out from our shower and field trip to the doctor today, so looks like a nice sleep will be a perfect thing to have.

Night night, Buzzy.  Welcome to the family!  Let's have some fun together and go on adventures...but first let's get a little stitching done!

LESSON LEARNED

I learned that I can take a shower and wash my hair.

I can blow dry said hair and get dressed, as long as I use my right arm and wear slip on shoes.

I can stop for gas and get a little car wash, but I have to close my eyes and think happy thoughts in the car wash or I will have a full-on Tony Soprano panic attack.

I can drive to the grocery, get a little cart, and pick up a few items, but I have to remember that it is not a race and the grocery is the approximate size of Delaware.

I can load said groceries into the car, drive them home, unload them, and put them away.

I can make hot dogs and tater tots for dinner and enjoy them like any self-respecting twelve year old can.

I can light the fire, change back into jams, hit the Happy Chair, and watch bad TeeVee while drooling into the magic blanket.

And, most importantly, I learned....

I CANNOT DO ALL OF THESE THINGS ON THE SAME DAY!

Too, too much.  Once again, I overdid it and must now pay the consequesces.  Silly, silly spinster.  You just haven't learned how to pace yourself.  

I'm in the Happy Chair with my coffee and newspaper and methinks I will stay here for the duration!

Hope your Thursday is...educational.

FUTZINGDAY...

I'm procrastinating.

I need to go to the grocery, but that means getting out of the Happy Chair, out of pajamas, and out of the house and into the publics, and I am feeling particularly hermetic spinster today.

I don't really neeeed groceries, per se...I just force myself to go every now and then as a means to get a little fresh air and exercise and as a way to force myself not to cloister.

But would it be so wrong to just stay here under the magic blanket?

SUCK IT UP, BUTTERCUP (AND AN EXPLANATION OF GROCERY GUILD)

OK.

Enough.

Enough bitching, moaning, complaining, weeping, kvetching, kvelling, worrying, fretting, and hand wringing.

Even I can't stand it anymore.

So...I had surgery,  Millions and millions of people have surgery every single day and don't feel the need to share every ache, pain, or discomfort they are experiencing the moment they are experiencing it.

Yes, this was a pretty big surgery, and yes...I now understand that I need to give myself time to recover from it.  A week is probably not enough time in my case, given all of the other crap I've got going on, so here's a newsflash for my tiny little brain: it's going to take what it's going to take and I am just going to have to be patient!

Back to our regularly scheduled programming now.  

If I can, I think I'm going to try to stitch a little this afternoon.  I'm still really feeling the Winter Quakers and want to get that big motif completed before putting it away for a bit.  I'm thinking of picking up something red/pink/purple-ish...maybe a new start or an old Valentine WIP?  Who knows what might strike my fancy...or not.

That's it for now, my dears.  We're huffing and puffing and pajama shuffling...onward!

* Grocery guild = the evening meeting of South Bend EGA (we meet in the cafe of a grocery store)

* Library guild = the meeting of Hoosier Heartland ANG (we meet in a library)

* Church guild = the meeting of Elkhart EGA (we meet in a church)

MONDAY, MONDAY

I binge-watched Mary Tyler Moore all day yesterday and managed to catch the halftime show of the SuperBowl, but that's about it.  Pain and discomfort are worse now than they were right after surgery, so I am doing nothing but sleeping to try to avoid it.

Tonight is Grocery Guild, and I am determined to get some shoes on and go, even if it's only for a minute or two.  We are turning in our pilot projects, and despite the fact that mine is incomplete, I at least want to submit my notes.

Thank you for your lovely encouragements lately.  I'm not going to lie...this week has been really rough, but your kindness has really gotten me through!

(But I still want my Mommie).

Ciao for now!  Hope your week is off to a rip roarin' start!

ME AND MY BIG MOUTH...

All week long I've been telling anybody who asks (and even those who didn't ask) that the recovery from my surgery has gone really well and that I haven't even needed any Tylenol.  As a matter of fact, I think that my exact words were something along the lines of "I do better with pain than I do with pain meds" and I crowed about the fact that I'm such a good patient...blah blah blah.

Well, last night and today the universe is smiting me.

In spades.

That'll teach me to get cocky.  You would think that I would know by now o stay shy and humble and cautious, but noooooo.  I got all puffed up with pride that I'm such a freaking trooper, and now I'm a sniveling, pathetic mess.

Silly, silly spinster.

So today I'm going to take some Tylenol and sit in the Happy Chair and boo hoo for a bit, and then we'll get back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Hope your Sunday is less...painful, and that your needles are flying!

IN WHICH OUR INTREPID SPINSTER WASHES HER HAIR...AND STITCHES!!!

I ended up washing my very oen hair yesterday!  I got in the shower to get all spiffed up for the salon, and before you know it, I was washing my very own hair.

So I called the salon and they laughed and told me to come see them when I felt better, because they are lovely people and are probably used to dealing with lunatic spinsters like me.

After a seven hour nap I decided to try stitching.  It was slow going, and my fingers felt very fumbly, but I took it easy and just enjoyed having needle and thread in hand again.

A little more progress on Winter Quakers by Rosewood Manor:

After coffee and the paper, I might head up to the studio to see what kind of trouble I can get into.  I'm ready for some February hearts!

Hope your Saturday is swell!  

I WANT MY MOMMIE

Oey, with the...wait a minute...I said that already.

Today I am going to go to the beauty parlor to get my hair washed.  I am able to shower OK, but getting that arm up to shampoo is just impossible.  So I figured I would channel my inner 1950's housewife and go get my hair done, maybe have a light lunch, and then do a little grocery shopping...all while wearing pumps and pearls.

Oh, who am I kidding?

I will be lucky to find a pair if sweatpants that don't have too many holes in them for polite society and a pair of shoes that I can just slip on instead of tie.  No lunch...I'm just not hungry for anything, and methinks the grocery shopping can wait until next week. (I don't really need anything and the prospect of fainting in the canned pea aisle isn't exactly blowing up my skirt at the moment.)

So it will be sweats, hair, and home and we'll save the Girl About Town episode for another day.

Still no stitching, and I have spent most of my time sleeping and snoring away under the magic blanket.  I'm just not quite...me...yet, so I suppose I should just be a patient patient and stop kvetching about it.  Surgery is hard enough if you're young and healthy...throw age and kidney disease in there and it's no wonder I'm still on the mat!

But...oey.

Here's hoping your weekend is off to a fabulous start!  Do something fun and come tell us all about it!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO....

The very second I am able to get a needle and thread back in my hands, this is what I want to play with.  Ms. Laura J. Perin Her Very Self has done it again with her Snowman Panel!

HAPPY GROUNDHOG'S DAY

That's all I've got...hope your Thursday is swell!

ON THIS EPISODE OF SPINSTER HOSPITAL...

Oey, with the boo boo already.

It would seem that Day Two is a little worse than the Day Of.  Could it be that I no longer have powerful sedatives coursing through my veins and am now having to face the world as...me?

Nothing to complain about, though.  I am showered, caffeinated, and in the Happy Chair writing to my peeps with Stewey supervising from his little box on his perch.  What's not to love about all of that?

Thank you for your well wishes and happy thoughts.  This is quite an adventure, folks, and knowing that I am not having to take it alone makes all the difference in the world.

Now, I will leave you with the best advice I can think of at the moment....

If you ever have to have your arm cut open and your pipes re-routed, make sure to get yourself a Miss Charlene.  She will get up at 3 o'clock in the morning, drive you to the hospital in an ice storm, and then make sure you return home happy and healthy with nary a complaint.  I. Can't. Even.

So that's it for today.  No stitching, I'm afraid...I can't quite bend my arm enough just yet with the soreness and swelling, but I might try to break out the lap stand this afternoon.  The good news is that I did confirm that my access point will be in my upper arm for dialysis, so I should be able to figure that out when the time comes.  Thank you, Dr. Peterson for that one!

Time for puzzles and then a nap.  That shower just about wore me out, but it sure was nice to get into fresh jams!

Happy Futzingday!

I...SURVIVED

Does anybody else notice what I do on the post op instructions?

More tomorrow, I promise.  Right now I just want to hit the big girl sleigh bed and finish recovering.  Thank you for all of your prayers and happy thoughts...they worked!

HAVING AN AHA! MOMENT ON A MONDAY

It only took me ten plus years to figure it out...

The reason why I love stitching so much is that it is the one thing in my silly little life that I can control.

Cheers, kids!  By this time tomorrow, God willing, I will be back in the Happy Chair with my stitching in hand, a booboo bandage on my arm, and some really good meds to help me think nothing but calm, happy thoughts!

See you on the other side...

THAT SOUND YOU HEARD...

Was me.

Hollering like a crazy lunatic in the Hobby Lobby yesterday.

Guess what I found?!

I was in the stamping aisle and turned around, and right there they were...my jars...my beloved, beloved perfect ort storage jars!

They had two packs of two, so I scooped them up and hugged them as though they were my long lost best friends or Stewey Angus Willowswamp His Very Little Self.

A tiny tear came out of my eye.  

I swear it to be true.

After a few more errands, I came home, got my wits about me, and hit my freshly cleaned off cockpit:

And I stayed there, playing with my planner until the wee hours of the morning.

Here's a few shots of January:

And then, because I was having so much fun, I went ahead and jumped right into February:

And because you know me so well...here's a look at the inside cover:

I swear, playing with this stupid book brought me more peace and happiness than I have felt in quite a while.  I mean, come on.  What's not to love about scissors and glue and stickers and stamps...all while getting yourself organized for the week?

Speaking of which...Tuesday is the big day.  Surgery on my left arm to get it ready for dialysis.  I don't know why I'm so darn crazy nervous...back in 1991 they practically cut my head off at Mayo and I didn't give it a second thought!  This is supposed to be a relatively simple surgery, but I am fretting it like nobody's business!

Sheesh...why can't I just enjoy stitching and planning as my hobbies instead of going for 1st Place Champion Fretter all the time?

So that's the report for a snowy Sunday, my dears.  As soon as I finish the papers and another damn good cup of coffee, I'm going to see what I can do about getting myself presentable for the hospital.  

Now, where did I put that weed whacker?

OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN

Yesterday was errand day.  I hit the library, the Targets, the grocery, and the pizza joint and then I hit the Happy Chair and passed out for three hours under the magic blanket.  I did manage to get my wits about me eventually, but that nap was enough to keep me wide awake until 4am again.

This time I watched the YouTube and obsessed over all things planning and stamping.  I got hooked on an Erin Condren planner about three years ago, so now I am wanting to up my game a bit and really go to town decorating it.  When I started I was crazy for the washi and stickers...now i'm thinking that I'd like to give stamps a try.

But damn, this means that I might have to go to the Michael's with a coupon, and we all know how dangerous that can be!

But first...a damn good cup of coffee and then the paper and puzzles, and we'll see if I can't talk some sense into myself.

Hope your Saturday is wonderful!

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE, KURT VONNEGUT?

I'm a Great Books major who has never read Breakfast of Champions.

OK, in my defense, there were very few novels on our reading lists...I seem to remember a tortured Spring Break with War and Peace...so my lack of Vonnegut really shouldn't be too embarrasing...

But I live in Indiana for cryin' out loud!

(Kurt Vonnegut is from Indiana).

Anywhoose...I finished my big stack of library books a day early and needed something to read last night before bed. (You will be happy to know that I did a bunch of stuff to change my sleep luck...took a hot lavender bath, drank some sleepy tea, changed the sheets, and hit the hay at midnight instead of 3am...and it worked!)

I have stacks and stacks of books all over the house...some read, some unread....so I just grabbed what I thought would be a quick and easy read.

O.M.G.  Hilarious and charming and witty and...damn!  Why couldn't I have read him years ago?  I know he's not on everybody's list of favorites, but methinks I have a new John Irving in my life.

So that's the report for the day.  Still here...breathing in and out and just trying to stay out of trouble. Today will be errands (library, Target, grocery) followed by some more Vonnegut.  I am going to try to get a little stitchy time in the Happy Chair...hope you get to do the same!

UPSIDE DOWN

I'm wide awake at night and sleeping all day and I can't seem to get out of my own way lately.  Today was supposed to be laundry and housecleaning, but so far all I've managed to do is stare at the Christmas tree in some strange hope that it will spontaneously undecorate itself and jump into its storage bin.

Oey.

A peanut butter bagel, a hot bath, some serious coffee slurping, and a little stitching...and all will be good as new, I'm sure.

Besides...it's like we used to tell Dad when he got frustrated over his low energy...it's not like I have to go fly a plane full of puppies through a hailstorm.  Humanity will do just fine without me supervising it for a day.

Hope your week has been considerably more productive than mine!

Onward!

SHE WAS THE ORIGINAL SPINSTER STITCHER.

The apartment...the clothes...the whacky friends...a career girl on her own, just trying to make her way in the world with spunk, charm, and some needlepoint to keep her company.

COME ON, GIRLS...YOU KNOW YOU'VE DONE THIS

HOW ELLIE SIEFRED TAUGHT ME TO MAKE GUACAMOLE

chopped avocado

diced seeded tomato

diced onion

minced garlic

chopped bacon

salt 

pepper

lime juice

Miracle Whip (just a tiny tiny titch)

Amounts?  Who the heck knows?  Every time I make it the amounts are different.  The only thing that's consistent is that I make a big bowl of it and then proceed to eat the entire big bowl of it every single time.  Oey.

Ellie and George Siefred were friends of my Dad's from his bachelor days in Lima, Ohio before he met my mom.  We visited with them at their home in Toledo a few years before Dad died and Ellie showed me how to make both guacamole and brisket...two of my very favorite things on the planet!

DEEP THOUGHTS FOR A MONDAY MORNING...

I don't know why, but I watched the show "Hoarders" last night, and it got me thinking...

If I'm ever the poor soul sitting next to the dumpster as they carry all of my crap out into the front yard in front of God and everybody, will you all promise to come over and distract me with a pretty piece of needlework and then make sure that they don't throw away any stitchy stuff?

SUNDAY

SATURDAY

ONE MORE THING...

No political commentary here, but do you know the first thing I thought when I saw this?

"Holy crap, Stewey would have gone batshit crazy for that outfit and I'd be standing in the JoAnn's right now trying to find that fabric while he furiously pawed through his closet looking for his little pill box hat."

OK, ONE LAST WIZARD

Thank you for your lovely comments about my photo.   It'll take while, I'm sure, but I will eventually stop fretting over things like my face and just get the heck on with it.

Pre-surgery testing today, so I have to scoot.  Nothing major...they just want to make sure everything is in order for the 31st.

Betty...you'll have to bear with me one more day, I'm afraid.  There is no stitching to show, since I ate guacamole, watched five minutes of the TeeVee and passed out under the magic blanket.  When I woke up two and a half hours later, all I wanted to do was get my contacts out and go back to bed.

MY VERY SECOND SELFIE

(My first selfie was the one with me holding a sleeping Stewey.)

Ugh...I absolutely positively hate my photograph.  But in this case, I wanted to grab a shot of the haircut so I could remember what it looks like.  The funny thing is that I picked up the iPad and must have hit the button as I was looking at Stewey's little box thinking "Can you believe I'm doing this, Little?", so I suppose he's kind if in this one too.

OFF TO SEE...YADDA YADDA YADDA

No stitching last night, unfortunately.  My grocery shopping trip was rather eventful in that I almost had a "CLEAN UP ON AISLE FOUR!" situation when I thought I was going to have to have a lie down in the canned peas.

Never fear, though.  I am nothng if not a very plucky and, as it turns out, VAIN spinster, so the very idea of losing one's consciousness in public was enough to keep me upright.

(But I must've looked pretty silly taking a big gulp of my Starbucks, tossing back my little superhero capelet, and shouting "Onward!" in my very best Winston Churchill voice).

(You have to love a grocery with a Starbucks in it, right?)

I came home, got the groceries put away, painted my nails, and all of that and Housewives was about it for the night.

Yes, yes, I know that it's all about pacing myself and learning how to be a patient patient.  I have to replace my usual "I am strong like bull" attitude with that of "May I have help with a, b, c please?" and I need to remember that all of this is only temprary.

I was trying to explain that to my Jersey boy yesterday on the phone.  When you feel lousy...I mean really really really lousy and can't get out of bed for days at a time, you start to fret that this just might be your life from now on, and your mourn all off the stuff you wanted to do with yourself.  Shifting into the mindset of "This too shall pass" can be a very hard thing to do, and if you combine it with other things happening in your life (see moi, circa 2016), you can REALLY fall down that rabbit hole.

So when I tell you all how much I appreciate you, please really really believe it, since there are absolutely days when your happy thoughts and wonderful presence in my life are the freight train that's carrying me through the muck and fog of war.

Sorry.

Too many metaphors there.

But you know what I mean.  

Miss Brandi is going to tame the squirrel on top of my head and then Miss Leslye is going to fix what's inside.  I'm thinking of going with a shoulder-length, sassy, fun little bob type thing, but I will put my ample heiney in the chair and let the professionals do their thing.  As long as it's easy to ignore every morning when I put on my sweatpants and can be pulled off my face...I'm good.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming soon, I promise. (My goodness...Betty must be having an absolute fit with all of this non-stitchy gabbing!)

HOLEY SCHMOLEY

Somebody must have slipped me a Mickey before bed last night, because my dreams were so strange that I had to stay in bed quite late today just to see how they ended.

I was in a musical.  Singing, dancing, and acting.  

WITH JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN.

Now, the fact that my hunka hunka burnin' love would appear in a dream might not be that odd, especially given my utter fascination with all things JDM. But singing?  Me?

(I'd like to think that I have a voice like Adele, but it's more like a schlumpy, tone-deaf, non-British Adele who can clear a room or a church pew whenever she decidesto belt out a tune.)

And then, just to really make it nuts...I was singing about...

Gosh, I think I'm even a little embarrased to tell you this because it is just so damn odd.

OK, here goes....

MINCEMEAT.

I don't even know what mincemeat is.  But, there I was with Jeffrey Dean Morgan on the stage singing about it.  And my solo was all about serving mincemeat in different styles...Polish, Italian, etc.

Holy crap on a cracker...it's finally happened.  I've lost what little sanity I had and now am going to wander about this big blue marble singing with Jeffrey Dean Morgan about Chinese mincemeat.

On a more normal note (Ha!  Note!):

I'm chugging along on Winter Quakers.  This is last night's progress that I made while watching Sense and Sensibility.  It was going to be Housewives, but something lead me elsewhere instead.

Well, that's the report for the day, my dears.  As soon as I get my wits about me I'm heading out fir provisions.  I've put that off long enough that I'm getting a little freaked out by the echo of emptiness in the fridge!  Time to fill 'er up!

CLICK,CLICK, CLICK, CLICK....WHEEEEEEEE!

It's been quite a long time since I was on an actual roller coaster, but I distinctly remember the sensation of going up that very first hill...slowly...before plummeting down the other side into oblivion.

(I never liked roller coasters much as a kid, and now that I have reached GOLD status (*) in my life, I don't think I am likely to change my mind.)

So...testing Friday, surgery on the 31st, and then appointment after appointment after appointment with the dialysis and transplant teams to figure out the next steps.  All in all, my life will be composed of lots of waiting rooms, medical equipment, and quiet time while the trained professionals figure out a way to get me back into the relative shape of a semi-healthy 50-year old spinster.

(But no way, no how am I giving up my GOLD status (*).  It was waaaayyyyy too hard to come by, and I am not going to repeat the orientation classes or extensive testing process required to get it.)

(I am, however, lobbying for 30-year old blonde triathlete rather than semi-healthy 50-year old spinster, so keep your fingers crossed for a miracle, kids.)

The surgery on the 31st will be to create what's called an AV fistula in my arm.  This basically means that the surgeon will re-route an artery and a vein and will splice them together to create a bigger "pipe" to receive the dialysis.  And yes, we've confirmed that we can do this in my left arm so that my right will be free to stitch!

(Talk about a complicated conversation...I'm actually left-handed, which means they wanted to use my right arm for the surgery.  But I explained that the only thing I use my left hand for is a fork and a pen...two things I can totally live without as long as I can still hold a needle and thread in my right hand!)

Stitching while getting dialysis might be a little more complicated, but once I get the lay of the land, I promise you (as sure as I am the Spinster Stitcher) I will figure out a way to do it.  I'm already thinking about the types and sizes of projects that I will fit into my new Vera Bradley Dialysis Activity Tote.

(You know, I'm thinking that my Gramdma Loukos might have been onto something when she nicknamed me "Little Bull Head" when I was a kid.  I get so damned determined to plow my way through something that I almost feel a little sorry for any obstacle that gets in my way.  As a kid my plowing usually involved grim determination only.   But now as an adult, that grim determination is nicely accessorized with scarves and pretty quilted tote bags.)

Many of you have emailed me with two questions in particular...

1. Hey, Spinster Stitcher!  Where is your sister in all of this, and why aren't you getting a kidney from her?

My sister is actually very much in the mix, and wants to be my donor if at all possible.  She will begin all of the testing very shortly, and even if she is not a match, she wants to donate into the "pool" for a possible piggy-back donation. (That's where she donates to somebody she matches with and I get a kidney from somebody I match with.)  There isn't enough space on the internets for me to write about how I feel about this, but I'm sure one day I will be able to explain it.

2. Hey, Spinster Stitcher!  Why haven't you gotten another dog yet?  You need another little creature to love and care for!

This one is a little more complicated, but right now I am using all of the gas in my tank just breathing in and out.  Yes, I agree that I am capable of loving another little dog (without diminishing my love for Stewey), but given my upcoming journey, methinks I better just concentrate on keeping myself fed and watered and looked after. But if it's OK, I reserve the right to miss my BabyDear.  I've learned that it' OK for me to sit in my Happy Chair and sob, provided I find a moment or two of happiness in remembering him as well.  Besides...it's only been two months since his passing, and he was pretty much my entire life!  If I'm still doing this after two years, we'll talk.  Right now, though I think I'm eventually going to be OK.

So, that's what's happening here in Hoosierville on a gloomy Tuesday.  I didn't make it to the grocery or Guild yesterday afternoon/evening, and it's not looking any better today in the productivity department, but I'm perfectly OK with that.  I am going to have my bagel, a little juice, a nice hot bath, and then a snoozy nap in the big girl sleigh bed, and then we'll see about some stitching and Housewives on the TeeVee tonight. 

Thanks for indulging me with a therapy session.  Please send me your bills and I'll have my secretary submit them to insurance!

Hope your needles are flying and that you're prancing onward!

(*) GOLD = Grumpy Old Lady Division

OFF TO SEE THE WIZARDS...

Two doctors' appointments, grocery shopping, and a Guild meeting later tonight.

Step right up to the window and place your bets, my friends.  It's three to one against me completing the above and living to tell the tale.

No stitching progress to report today, I'm afraid.  We can blame the magic blanket for that news.  I always tell myself that I'm NOT going to close my eyes...not even for a minute...and then out I go.

Like a light.

Hope your week is off to a good start!

IN WHICH OUR HEROINE HAS A LOVELY DAY...AND EATS A CHEESEBURGER

Aaaahhhh, much better.

Misses Charlene, Jane, Julia, and Beth babysat me for a few hours yesterday and it seemed to do the trick.

Either that, or it was the cheeseburger that I ate that was the approximate size of a Buick.

We'll just never know.

After some time spent stitching at the library, and then again after a nice long snoozy nap, I managed to get the next moteef well under way:

My super secret project for my other guild languishes in its little bag, so I really should do something about that today.  The guilt alone is enough to push me forward...I need to get cracking on it!

Thank you, my dears, once again, for your kind and loving words of support and wisdom.  I think you know me too well...between missing Stewey, the end of the holidays, and my health issues...it's no wonder I found myself back down in that well.  I'm still in it, unfortunately, but at least now I feel like I'm sitting on the floor of it on my ample bottom looking for the stairway out, rather than lying flat on my back and hoping somebody eventually finds me down here!

Sunday is off to a good start. I've got my damn good cup of coffee, the papers, and Ina on the TeeVee!  

Onward!

HEADING TO GUILD

If this doesn't fix me...nothing will!

SLEEPY AND WEEPY

Where's that darn Snow White when you need her?  I am, quite unsuccessfully I might add, wrangling a couple of annoying little beasties.  All I need now is for Dopey and Doc to join the mix and we could have ourselves a real party.

(Can I just say, though, that I do get along just fine with Happy and Bashful and that they're welcome to come back and snuggle in the Happy Chair any time they want?)

But these other guys...especially Grumpy! can just go fly a kite.  They've messed up my mojo, my house, my peace and quiet, and they've turned me into a big fat lump of pitiful tears. 

OK...end of rant.  And, because I know that I probably mis-named almost all of the darn whatever they're called, I will beg forgiveness and simply ask that they do their thing elsewhere for a bit and give this poor little portly spinster a break.

DANG IT, ANYWAY.

No progress pictures to share today, my dears, because there wasn't any progress made!  I did stitch, but at the end of the evening, I realized that I had made a big counting mistake, so out it all came.

Phooey.

Never fear, though.  As soon as I finish my to do list for the day I will get right back at it.  I am enjoying a little mojo at the moment, so I don't want to scare it away with a case of the frogs.

I am, however, very happy to report that I managed to remove the outside Christmas decorations yesterday, so the neighbors won't have to report me to the authorities.  The inside decorations are a different story, though.  I'm really going to try to get them down this weekend, but won't be too terribly disappointed if I have to enjoy them a little longer!

AND A LITTLE MORE...

A LITTLE STITCHY PROGRESS

WELL...DUH!

All this time I thought I was just being lazy.

Turns out, my hemoglobin has dropped again, so my lack of motivation to do anything beyond the Happy Chair was physical and not completely mental (like it usually is).

Please don't worry, my dears.  This is part and parcel of being me, it seems, and the proper authorities are on the case.  I will be right as rain as soon as I get some tender loving care from them, a big shot of Aranesp, and maybe a little transfusion of Venofer to really put me back in the saddle!

This is what happens with my kidney disease...as I progress to the next stage things get a little interesting and we start pushing buttons and levers to keep me upright!  Many of you have asked about the particulars of my health, so...

(Betty, this is the part where you sign off because you don't want to hear my "whining and bitching" about stuff that nobody cares about.  I know you prefer the stitching stuff only, so hang in there and we'll return to it as soon as my stitchy juju corrects itself, OK dear Betty?)

I have a kidney disease called FSGS, which is focal segmented glomerular sclerosis.  This means, basically, that the tiny little filters in my kidneys are busted, and I leak both blood and protein in my urine. (I know...eeeewwwww, right?!) I was diagnosed in 2002 when my family doctor caught it after my annual checkup, and have done remarkably well, all things considered. Now, though, I am nearing the stage when I will have to start dialysis.  Next week I will meet with the surgeon to have the vein graph procedure to make a "bigger pipe" to do so, and then that will heal and I will start a new normal of sitting in a big chair several hours a week watching TeeVee, reading, and hopefully stitching.

(Wait a minute...that sounds remarkably like my day to day schedule NOW!  Who knew that all of this laying about was actually training to be a dialysis patient?)

I don't know how or why I got this, whether or not it is related to family history, my own collection of health issues like Crohn's and thyroid cancer, or the fact that I grew up a mile down wind of one of the largest petrochemical refinery areas in the world...let's just say it is what it is and now we must move ever forward.

Thanks for indulging me there, kids.  I promise to return to our regular programming just as soon as I get needle and thread back in my hands this afternoon.  I have been so inspired by all of your new projects...methinks it's just what I needed to start poking about in the old stitchy basket once again!

Here's hoping that your Monday is off to a rip roaring start!

Onward!

SAM TOFT IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL

AND THEN SUNDAY CAME AND I GOT EVEN SLOTH-IER

Or maybe I should think of it as "practiced inertia".,,

TAKING SLOTH TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL

Nothing.  Zilch.  Nada.

That's the list of stuff that I have to accomplish today.  It's 1:31 in the afternoon and I am still in my robe and slippers with no intention of changing that whatsoever.

I might stitch, I might not.

The kitchen is a hazmat zone, but we'll just kerp that between us chickens, and when I decide to go take a snoozy nap, I will also rely on you to look the other way and pretend that I did housekerping and laundry all day.

K?

GIRL ABOUT TOWN

Who knew being a normal human person could be so completely exhausting?

I got up at a reasonable hour (in my case 10:30), took a shower, read the paper, and got myself ready for the day.  It took me an hour and a half, but I found a suitable bra, some jeans that almost fit (OK, they are way too big, but when dies THAT ever happen, I ask you?), a new pair of boots, and a scarf.

I curled my hair, sprayed my Snookie bangs to within an inch of their lives, slapped on some foundation and mascara, and then because I really was feeling fat and sassy...some shiny red lipstick!

The Dressing Downton exhibit was lovely, and I really took my time and enjoyed it.  The highlight, though, was seeing a beautifully decorated Christmas tree with stitched ornaments by my EGA guild!

Now, after all of the effort it took to actually get me out of the house (and DOWNTOWN into the booming metropolis of South Bend!) I got real jiggy with it and went to the bank, the Targets, and the grocery.

Three hours later, I am home and back in the sweats and Happy Chair and I'm pooped!  I don't know if it was the cold or the driving or the trying to appear semi-normal that did it, but I. Am. Tired.

The good news is that I am well stocked for the weekend and don't have to go anywhere at all.  I'm going to concentrate on some laundry and housecleaning and stitching, and that's about it.

Happy Friday!  Hope you're on your way to a fabulous weekend!

LITTLE BIT OF PROGRESS

I made a little start on the PS alphabet project last night:

I'm stitching this with one strand of floss, over one, on 25 count fabric.

I decided to go ahead a try the vertical orientation and fret over the bottom row when I get to it sometime in the year 2074.

We received an extension to the deadline for our guild project (thank you, Miss Sheryl!) so now I do not have any excuse for allowing it to go unfinished.  I am still dreading it, but feel obligated to participate and do my best, since I signed up willingly for the darn thing in the first place.  I'm thinking it will be a lesson to me in dogged determination, if nothing else.

I'm not sure if it's the moon or maybe just an "off" day, but I am missing Stewey fiercely and have been in sobby tears most of the morning.  I know that this is normal and I shouldn't view my sadness as a "setback" per se, but all I want to do is bawl my eyes out and crawl in the big girl sleigh bed with his blanket.  That tiny little creature has left an enormous hole in both my life and heart.

Damn...grief is hard work.

I made the executive decision to go to the Downton exhibit tomorrow, so I am determined to set my alarm, get out of bed at a semi-decent hour, and go.  If the timing's right, I might actually treat myself to a late lunch/early dinner as well so that I head into the weekend feeling like a normal, well-adjusted, sociallly adept adult person instead of a crazy, introverted, hermit spinster who doesn't own a proper pair of pants.

That's it for today, kids.  I'm going to get a refill in my coffee cup, fire up the fireplace, and get stitching!  Hope things in your neck of the woods are moving...onward!

IN WHICH OUR CRACKPOT HEROINE MAKES A DECISION

After languishing in the BAP basket for nine years, the Prairie Schooler alphabet project has come out to play.  I pondered the orientation of the linen almost all day yesterday, and thought I had decided on a vertical (rather than horizontal as pictured above) approach, but now I'm changing my mind.  If I go vertical, the bottom row will only have three blocks instead of four, and I think that will end up driving me nuts.

More pondering to ensue...

I had thought about venturing to the Dressing Downton exhibit at the history museum today, but I awoke a bit punk and don't want to push my luck.  I have an appointment tomorrow that will force me out of the house, so I suppose I could postpone a day and hang one more day in pajamas in front of the fireplace.

Maybe I'm becoming a good patient after all!

BACK IN THE SADDLE...ISH

Kind of a quiet, gloomy/foggy Tuesday thus far here in Hoosierville, but I am cozy in the Happy Chair with my damn good cup of coffee, my magic blanket, and the newspaper for company.

I'm determined to stitch today, but I'm grappling with my basket choices.  I had visions of a new start for the new year, but January 1 came and went without a needle in my hand, and yesterday I futzed around aimlessly while Miss Charlene and Miss Jane were here for a lovely stitchy visit.

(I blathered on aimlessly like a crazy person while they secretly indulged me and froze to death, because I'm not smart enough to realize that not everybody keeps their house like a meat locker, and it's not necessary to let ALL of the voices in your head talk at once...but, bless them, these girls know me and did their penance with sympathy and good cheer.)

The internets isn't helping me any, since I seem to be spending more time oohing and aahing over all of your wonderful progress than I am actually making any of it on my own, and I am shamelessly avoiding a guild assignment that has turned out to be the very bane if my existence.  

(It's only the third day of the year for crying out loud!  I can't possibly be in a schlumpadink already, can I?  Perhaps it's just a case of the post-holiday blues or the moon and stars are out of whack or the ort jar debacle from Sunday is still mesding with my juju...)

OK...time to pull up my knickers and get on with it.  As soon as I finish the puzzles and read my horoscope, it's back to the studio.  Elton is going on the stereo, the stash is going to get pawed, and I'm going to get back in my lane and do my thing if it's the last thing I do!

Onward!

JANUARY STITCHY BASKET

Talk about a mishmash!  Not sure if there really is any rhyme or reason to this, but I figure I can re-visit it as necessary.  I had visions of a grey/snow related theme, but alas, my stash was not exactly full of stuff in that general theme.

No biggie...this should be more than enough to keep me occupied for a day or two!

Speaking of grey...

January nails...Essie Petal Pushers!

CLEARLY, I HAVE A PROBLEM

Dear Making Memories Plastic Craft Storage Jar Manufacturing Company:

You guys are killing me.

You used to make plastic craft storage jars that were sold in packs of three at the Michael's and on the Amazons.  They're about the size of a dill pickle jar, they have a simple silver metal lid, and they are the perfect size to put a year of orts in.

See?  Perfectly suited for their purpose.

OK.  I confess.  I kinda fell down on the job in 2014 and I stashed my orts in Crystal Lite containers.  I did this because I kept forgetting to go to the Michael's or onto the Amazons to get more plastic craft storage jars.

But today I decided to do just that, and I eyed the orts from 2014 , 2015, and 2016 and said "Be back in a minute, fellas!  I'm off to the Michael's to get a three pack of plastic craft storage jars to get you guys all organized and labeled and tidy!"

And off I went with a song in my heart and new batteries in my little label maker...ready for the new plastic craft storage jars that I was sure were waiting for me at the Michael's.

Wanna know what I ended up with?

Yes, it's a three pack.  And yes, these plastic craft storage jars are plastic and have silver metal lids, but can we just be honest for a minute?  As lovely as these are...they just aren't...right.  They don't match the previous five years' worth of jars (which is giving me hives as I contemplate this), they are three different sizes, and even the biggest one wasn't adequate to house 2016's orts.

I spent the better part of the day on my iPad thingie trying to find the Making Memories Plastic Craft Storage Jars, and about an hour ago I discovered that you stopped making this item some time ago and that nobody on the planet has any left.

Gentlemen, I beg you.  Could you PLEASE help a spinster out and re-consider your discontinuation of these darn jars so that I can fix the nightmare below?

Sincerely,

Coni J. Rich, Her Very Crazy Compulsive Little Self

The Spinster Stitcher