A MISCELLANEOUS THURSDAY IN OCTOBER

This is a little rocking chair that my Uncle Connie gave to me for my first Christmas. I hadn't really thought about it (since it sits in the guest bedroom), but I thought I'd take a pic as a sweet little remembrance of him. Stewey walked over to it, and just as I expected him to lift his leg, he gave it a little pat with his paw and then sat down next to it to as if he and the chair were enjoying the view out the window. (Note to self: must staple gun camera to sweatshirt so that it will be readily available when things like this happen rather than keep it sitting in the computer armoire where it's absolutely no use to anybody unless they happen to be standing inside the armoire.)

So today we're finishing laundry and tidying up the house so that when Nanny comes to visit tomorrow we won't be reported to the A.S.P.C.A. It is such a nice feeling to know that when I get home the house will still be standing and Stewey will be warm and safe and dry and properly entertained.

Speaking of the little bundle of joy...he has a new pet that he insists on carrying all around the house. Last night before bed we had the requisite "Selection of The Night Night Toy" ceremony, and he decided that his new little ghost would be his bestest friend for life:

Now please understand that I have absolutely no problem with my dog having a doll, but when said dog stands in the bedroom and stomps his feet and barks until Mommie Dearest comes into said bedroom to get said doll from the bed, I feel it fair to bitch and complain that I am most certainly not the master of my own domain. It has become a morning ritual...just as soon as my heiney hits the Happy Chair for that first hot cup of coffee and the morning paper, Little Lord Fauntleroy decides that toy retrieval is, in fact, the priority. Damn dog.

I stepped out to get the mail yesterday and snapped this pic:

I sure wish I could have captured the colors better. They were simply breathtaking. I read today that a professor at St. Mary's says the colors will be dull this year and that we shouldn't look forward to any color, but I'm thinking that he should have actually looked out a window before making that pronouncement.

And finally, we have a progress shot of "Reflecting Pools". I seem to be flying right through this one, and last night's stitching session got me all the way through Season Three of The Sopranos. I'm hoping that I will be able to find a purple jewel for the upper left corner. I'm almost positive that I've got one up in the studio, but I've been too darn lazy to start pawing through my bead stash.

EVEN THE CLOUDS ARE CRYING TODAY

My Uncle Connie was a good man. He was tall and handsome and he was very very funny. He lived with and took care of Grandma until she passed away, and then he married the love of his life, Aunt Linda. He was a father and a husband, a grandfather, a brother, a son, an uncle, and a friend. He worked hard for Ford until retirement, and he planted a huge garden every year. When we were little, he took all of us kids to Cedar Point and King's Island, and we had baloney sandwiches and red pop for lunch. He always had gum.

One summer, he and Aunt Linda came to Phoenix for a visit, and I don't think we did anything but laugh and eat the whole time they were there. It was the last bit of time that Mom was able to spend with her little brother, and I think that those days were the happiest for her during all of that chemo.

A lot of people in Lima knew him as Mike, because his full name was Constantine Michael. For me, though, he was always Uncle Connie. The last time Chrissy and I visited him, we were talking about the family, and he said "My mom and pop had all these kids with names like Mary and John, and Don, and JoAnn, and then I came along and they named me Constantine. Go figure."

I am left handed because of my Uncle Connie. We were at Grandma's...coloring in our coloring books, and he said "Connie Jo, you're using the wrong hand!". Of course, he was teasing me, but I immediately switched that crayon over to my left hand and it stayed there from that moment on. (I was Connie Jo then, instead of "Coni", and I never got over feeling bad that I changed the spelling of it whenever I wrote to him.)

When Stewey came along, my Uncle Connie would call me weekly to see how he was doing. I think the name cracked him up, since he always had a little laugh whenever he said it. He would send me every cute email about pets and their silliness, and I told Stewey that one of these days we were going to go over to Lima so that Uncle Connie could get a good look at him.

Uncle Connie passed away on Monday evening after a hard hard fight with cancer. The last time I talked to him, I told him he couldn't go anywhere until he got me down an aisle, and that even though I'm a 43 year old spinster I still had hope, and he said "I'm gonna' lick it, Connie Jo. So don't you worry."

Chrissy and I will go to the services over in Lima on Friday, and then I'll come home and try to figure out how to live up to his legacy. In the meantime, if y'all would say a little prayer for my Aunt Linda, Tiffany, Lori, and Lenny, all the grandkids, my Aunt Mary and my Aunt JoAnn, that would be great.

Constantine Michael Loukos
April 2, 1936 - October 13, 2009

The Measure of Man
Not how did he die, but how did he live?
Not what did he gain, but what did he give?
Not what was his station, but had he a heart, and how did he play his God-given part?
Not what was his church nor what was his creed, but had he befriended those really in need?
Not what did the piece in the newspaper say, but how many were sorry when he passed away?
Was he ever ready with a word or good cheer, to bring back a smile, to banish a tear?
There are the units to measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.

THE TUESDAY VIEW FROM THE HAPPY CHAIR

Progress continues on "Reflecting Pools". I'm going to continue playing with this one for a while since I'm enjoying it so much. As you can see, my little jar for October is filling up nicely. September's jar was so full I actually had trouble attaching the lid! Woo Hoo!

Stewey will most definitely never suffer from a vitamin D deficiency:

"Really, mo-ther. Is this necessary?"

And I guess the dining room table was tired of its summer attire, since I awoke to this new little tableau:

Once again, my digital camera has demonstrated to you that it is, in fact, much smarter than I am. Sigh.

OK. My work here is done. I set out to post the most boring pictures and text that I could find, and it would seem that I've done so quite nicely.

Happy Tuesday!

THE MONDAY REPORT FROM MASTER STEWEY ANGUS WILLOWSWAMP HIS VERY LITTLE SELF

My mom can't come to the blog right now. She's in the bathroom washing her mouth out with soap. We spent the entire weekend watching The Sopranos (for the seventh time, I might add), and when the old lady woke up this morning she started spewing profanity all over the place. And since we have a rule that there is to be NO TALKING during my daily watching of Judge Alex, I sent her off for appropriate punishment. She needs to learn that she is most definitely NOT Carmela Soprano and/or any facsimile thereof. Damn Mommie.

Well, despite her best efforts, Mom finally got bored enough with "The Riddle" to put it down for a few days. She didn't take it off the q-snaps or anything, and she didn't cart it up to the studio, so there is hope that she'll pick it up again soon and get it done before November 1st. I am going to push her to do so, especially since I spied a great frame the last time I was at Michaels' getting my craft supplies. (We'll just keep that one between us chickens, OK? I'm not supposed to use the car without permission, and I'm afraid that I've already spent my craft budget this month on purchasing felt for appliqued penny rugs. I haven't made them yet, but I have hope.)

What Mom DID stitch was "Reflecting Pools" by Stitchy Aunt Laura! I am so excited about this one, since the color selection will go quite nicely in my newly decorated apartment. (OK, it's not really an apartment, but rather a tiny little corner of the master bedroom, but a boy can dream, can't he? I'm hoping that the drapes I ordered will arrive this week, since I noticed that the chill is creeping in the windows at night and I just can't have that.) I asked Mommie to use Garden Path threads instead of the called-for Mediterranean, and although it kind of killed the idea of a water theme, I do think it looks lovely:

Unfortunately, Mom's craptastic photographic skills kill the color on this. Garden Path from Caron Collection is a wonderful combination of purples, greens, and peaches. Luscious.

Here's a close-up of the portion that Mom completed:

The weekend was rather uneventful, but thanks to Stitchy Aunt Debbie at (http://www.threadgatherer.blogspot.com/), Mom got to go to JoAnn Fabrics and hear the ladies there call her the "Crazy Scissor Lady". Mom has been collecting the Gingher designer series scissors for a little while now, and Stitchy Aunt Deb alerted us to the fact that the newest JoAnn's exclusive was in stores now. So off Mom ran with her hair on fire to pick up Mia.

Then, when she got home, there was ANOTHER pair in the mail from Needle Delights! Elena arrived safe and sound, so now we're up to TEN pairs of these darn things! TEN! Since my stupid mo-ther won't let me have any baby dolls, I've decided that these scissors will have to suffice for now. I especially love their names: Julia, Bianca, Emma, Freedom, Sara, Roberta, Criss, Elena, and Mia. I swear, it makes me want to put on a hat and serve a lovely tea.

Speaking of tea, it's time for me to go put on the pot for our afternoon snack.

Thank you for stopping by to see me today! I do get so lonely for civilized adult companionship around here! Please come again soon!

With love from your pal,
Stewey

HO HUM DEE DUM CA NUN DRUM

If you've seen the movie "Groundhog Day", then I would bet that you are feeling much like Bill Murray's character about now. (He lives the same day over and over and over again, in case you haven't caught this one on the "25-year Old Movie Channel" on your TeeVee.)

This piece really is lovely to work on, I promise, but I am so bored with talking about it I could just...well...stop talking about it. My goodness, but these posts have become repetitive! Let's just make this easy:

I'm working on "The Riddle" and really enjoying it. Progress is very very slow, but I think I'm going to try to stick with it until completion.

There. Now you don't have to wonder about it anymore and I won't have to bore you to tears.

Stewey is ridiculously MIFFED at me today. Apparently, he has a real problem with me sharing his "incident" with you, and he felt that it was a HUGE breach of contract for me to disclose such an intimate detail of his life with my reading public. My response to this was a) I don't have a "reading public", I have stitchy friends who are nice enough to stop by my blog without alerting the authorities that I should be heavily medicated, b) Pouting causes wrinkles, and if he's going to use $400 face cream every night to retain his youthful glow, he should probably avoid it, and c) Even Charlotte York has had an accident in the potty department (even though we both positively HATE that scene in the SOTC movie).

Cold, dreary, rainy weather is keeping us inside today with some stitchy movies and a freshly laundered blanket for company. I've finally learned how to make a proper cup of tea, so I'm thinking that might be on the menu in a very short while.


I leave you with a pic of Little Lord Fauntleroy demanding some play time with a new pumpkin toy he scored after yesterday's spa session. (Please note the volume of toys in the background. I will be using it as evidence in the upcoming "Mommie is not nice to me and won't buy me any more Halloween toys" Trial.)

Damn dog.

I KNEW IT! ***EDITED WITH AN UPDATE***AND YET ANOTHER EXCITING UPDATE****

The mystery is finally solved! The word "effluvia" must have entered my brain when I was reading (um, actually rabidly stalking) Ms. Anna van Schurman's "Stitch Bitch" blog! Thank you, Ms. van Schurman for helping me with that one...I really thought I was losing my damn mind!

I have to say, this OVER ONE stitching is for the birds. Well, not for the birds, actually, but when you have meat hooks like mine it is reaaaaalllllllly hard to do! Especially on a smaller count linen! I admire the work that I see and now have a much bigger appreciation for the talent that is required to stitch over one. So, bully for you, over one stitchers! Bully for you!

Once again, my craptastic photographic skills put me in good position for a Pulitzer, eh?

Stewey is nowhere to be found this morning. I suspect that he heard me making the appointment for a "Top Dog" spa day over at the PetSmart. He may not be too thrilled about it, but I, for one, am really looking forward to a few snuggles with a downy soft pup that smells like Tom Selleck! After a good puff and fluff, he gets a few spritzes of cologne and I can't keep my hands off the little guy!

All I can say by way of explanation of that is....a spinster's gotta' do what a spinster's gotta' do!

***So I've just returned from PetSmart. Stewey and I went into the grooming salon, and when I wasn't paying attention, he apparently made a "deposit" on the floor. (I suspect that he has a nervous tummy and was trying to tell me that he had to GO but I just chalked it up to him being a pill and ignored him.) This in itself would not be so bad, were it not for the fact that I proceeded to step in said deposit without realizing it because I was too busy interrogating the lovely young man that was unfortunate enough to be on duty at the moment. Stewey also decided to step in it, soiling his otherwise fastidiously clean little paws. So when I picked him up for a good-bye snuggle and kiss, guess where the deposit ended up?!!! (I can hear the collective EEEWWWW all the way over here in Hoosierville.) Needless to say, I drove home with the windows down, gagging all the way, and then I stripped in the garage before the door had closed.

Too bad today's landscaping day. Those poor guys are definitely going to need a drink after work tonight! Damn dog.

***And yet another exciting update!*** I decided that it might be a good idea to take a shower to get rid of any microscopic remnants of Stewey's PetSmart deposit. So there I was, minding my own business while nekkid, shampooing, and wet when all of a sudden: WHOOOOOSSSSHHHHH!

As usual, my timing positively sucks. At the exact time I was showering, the landscapers started blowing out/winterizing the sprinkler system. (This involves a big ass industrial type machine that pulls up in front of the house and then they proceed to pump massive volumes of air through the pipes.)

If you'd like to experience this magic for yourself, go to your local airport. Douse yourself in freezing cold water. Put blobs of sudsy shampoo in your hair for added effect, and then ask the nice tarmac people if you can stand in front of a jet engine as it prepares for take off.

The good news is that I don't think I'll need to exfoliate anything for awhile.

The bad news is that I think I might need a skin graft.

Once again....damn dog!

WHY I NEED TO START GOING TO BED EARLIER

I don't have one darn thing to show you today, but I will tell you that I'm walking around the house wondering why the word "effluvia" is stuck in my brain. Effluvia? I am suspecting that this is a result of reading "Drood", or that it's from the BBC. (I have a bad habit of turning on the radio before bed and I usually fall asleep to the BBC. Who else would know the word effluvia?)

(I am also noticing that I seem to use parentheses a LOT in my writing, but I'm hoping that y'all will say "Who cares? Using parentheses indiscriminately is part of her charm, along with making up words and butchering the English language.")

So you'll just have to wait until tomorrow to see if I snap out of this fog or not. I'm hoping that I do, since those letters on "The Riddle" are not going to stitch themselves,no matter how hard I wish it to be true.

MONDAY MONDAY

My mom can't come to the blog right now. She's too busy stomping around the house muttering to herself. She spent three days in the Happy Chair stitching away on "The Riddle", and when she looked at her progress this morning she hollered "THAT'S ALL?!!!" and then threw herself down on the bed like a petulant child.

Damn Mommie.

I, for one, think that she did an admirable amount of stitching, especially when you consider that she had to get up every five and a half minutes to let me in/out. The sun kind of peeked around corners this weekend, so I felt the need to maximize my snoozing in sun spots as best I could, and sometimes that meant a little patio time. I tried to tell Mommie Dearest that she could eliminate the whole in/out thing by simply installing a little dog door, but she just looked at me like I was nuts. I suspect that the visions of critters following me in through said dog door was enough to kill the plan on the spot.

I'm pushing the old lady to keep with this project since it's turning out to be a lot lovelier than we had anticipated. The colors on the chart photo really don't do this piece justice. In real life they are rich and very pretty. And since the sentiment that's expressed on this piece is all about GIVING, I'd like to see it finished, framed, and hung before the holidays are upon us.

Speaking of.....I've started my annual letter to Santa Claus. In an effort to be more modest and humble, I think I will only ask for presents that will help me achieve maximum puppy perfectness. I originally thought I'd go for electronics this year....you know, a new laptop, a Kindle, a digital camera, etc., but methinks it would be better to ask for a few treats and toys and be done with it. I don't think I'd mind a little indoor fire hydrant that I could pee on, but Mom's still trying to figure out how to solve the "overspray" issue. Oh well.

Here's hoping that you have a wonderful week. I'm off to finish the laundry in hopes that my mo-ther will cancel my bath appointment over at the PetSmart.

With love from your pal,
Stewey

VIEWER MAIL

OK. So. I haven't one clue as to how one goes about properly answering all of the questions one receives in her blog comments, so forgive me. I'm sure there is some teckie way to set something up so that your questions come to me via a different way, but it will be a loooooong time before I come up with it. A computer genius, I'm not.

So here's my feeble attempt to answer a few of the things that have been written by you...my dear lovely stitchy friends. May I just say, before we begin, that.....YOU ALL ROCK! Now go make yourself something wonderful to eat and know that there's a silly Spinster thanking God every single day for all of you and your propensity for reading all of my crap on a daily basis.

ladybeans asked for pics of the Happy Chair. Dear ladybeans, I think that Monica might have answered this for you already, but in my very first post (all the way back in June of 2008!), I posted shameless pics of both the Happy Chair and my stitchy/craft studio. And you will be happy to learn that the Happy Chair is even more happy now that it's clean and shiny and almost new. Not a spot of Stewey pee anywhere to be found, thank you very much.

Monica had lovely comments about Chez Spinster. Thank you, dearie. I have to say that I really do love this place and can't imagine living anywhere else.

Glenna noticed that I stitch things from the bottom to the top. I think I do this because I get such a feeling of "building" something as I'm stitching along. I don't do it very often..it seems mostly on cross stitched pieces, but I do like to start in the lower left and work my way upwards.

AlfNStitches suggested a Snuggie for Stewey. I'm still tee-heeing about that one, but will confess that I'm probably going to go out and get him one tomorrow. (He's requested leopard print.) (Damn dog.)

Doris gave me the excellent tip for a Gerard Butler sighting..."Dear Frankie". I'm on it. Netflix tells me it should be here Saturday for some post ND football viewing. Hubba hubba.

linenstitcher apologized for mis-spelling my name. Did you by any chance channel my mother, Ms. Linenstitcher? My formal name is Constance JoAnn, and my nickname was indeed spelled Connie up until my rebellious teen years. Wow. Changed it to c-o-n-i. What a rebel.

Amber asked about the designer of "The Riddle". It's The Drawn Thread..one of my favory fave faves!

Donna gave me a lovely compliment about my latest column in Needlepoint Now (gee, was that a shameless plug or what?) and told me she sees a book deal in my future. From your lips to God's ears, honey!

Danielle asked if I knew the release date for the Alice Peterson Floating Hearts canvas. After further review, I found a piece of paper that told me I ordered this in February of 2003. Unfortunately, I don't know if it was released anywhere around that time...I saw it while surfing on the webinet as a brand new stitcher and wasn't smart enough to write anything down.

Whew! I hope that I haven't left anybody out, and that if I did, your question won't burn a hole in your brain while waiting for my reply. I'm notoriously un-reliable in almost everything, so if you're waiting with breath that is bated for anything of importance from me....bon chance! (What can I say? I suck.)

Time for bed. I'm plowing through this creepy book..."Drood", and it's making for some interesting reading just before sack time. I was reading it out loud to Stewey (yes, I do that), but he requested that I just shut the hell up already and go to bed already. I was happy to do that, but I caught him under the covers with his Kindle last night, so methinks our story hour days are behind us. Damn dog.

CLICK

For some strange reason, I always consider the first day of October the official beginning of Fall. And every year it's as though someone has clicked my brain into believing so as I pull out the cooler weather gear. I suppose today will be no exception, since I see that Stewey has placed a little catalogue of dog sweaters next to my Happy Chair. (You'll be happy to note that he has also added color coordinated PostIt notes next to his preferences, along with a size and color chart.) Damn dog.

It's a good thing that the calendar flipped today, since my little ort container for September is full of snips from all of these bloody WIP's I've been working on! And as God is my witness (she says shaking her fist at the sky a'la Scarlett O'Hara)......I will not start anything new until November 1st!

The problem I have with this little scheme of mine is that most of my stash is Fall/Autumn-like in theme, so I feel like I'm somehow "missing out" on the entire season. I had decided that I would work on WIP's until November 1st and would then launch myself right into Christmas stitching, but this will mean nary a pumpkin or witch will be stitched this year. Alas, it must be so if I want to start 2010 with a more manageable number of unfinished projects. Sigh.

I had a hard time concentrating last night, so the progress on "The Riddle" is not very impressive in the light of day. In looking at the entire picture, however, I see that the part that I've just stitched seems to be the most intensive, so maybe the rest of this will fly by? Here's hoping.

SUBTLE...YET, NOT

OK, I get it. The house is cold.

I'm known for keeping my house cooler than a meat locker, and apparently the damn dog has decided to throw a massive guilt trip my way. I was frantically searching all over the house for him moments ago and found him on his perch:
And clutched in his little paw was a note to the ASPCA and this photograph:What he NEGLECTS to tell, however, is the ridiculous lower back ache his mommie is sporting today because SOMEBODY had to curl himself up into a little ball and glue himself to the absolute damn center of the big girl sleigh bed all night. Damn dog.

I planted my b-u-t-t in the Happy Chair yesterday at about 4pm and looked up at the clock again at 2am. Without even realizing it, I watched "Atonement", "Miss Pettigrew", "Dirty Dancing", and "P.S. I Love You" while stitching on "The Riddle".

For the life of me, I cannot figure out what the heck the black and white thing is to the left of the sheep. A dog? A horse? The perspective is wonky on this, so I can't judge it by size. (You'll note that the blue columns at the top of the little hill are actually legs. Quite large, Marge, when compared to the little teeny weeny building in the back, no?

Man, I wish I would have paid more attention in art class!

MR. COZY TOES

Today is our first official cool and blustery day here in Hoosierville. Stewey has decided to declare this the "Day of the Blanket" and spend it cuddled up on his perch. His little hands and feet were popsicles this morning, so I'm hoping he gets warmed up before my nap time. (*)

I worked on "The Riddle" this weekend, but the progress looks a little meagre in the light of day. I had completed a good portion of the bargello grass in between the two trees, but had to frog it and the tree on the left due to a temporary lack of counting skills brought on by a little overdose of hunky-tude.

(I need to start writing things down: Never work on something that requires concentration when Gerard Butler and/or Jeffrey Dean Morgan are in the immediate vicinity of the TeeVee.)

I'm going to have a cup of tea now, and I am determined to figure out how to make a good one if it kills me this year. For some reason I think about how lovely a cup of tea would be, but then the end result leaves me a little...blech. Maybe I should stick with coffee?

(*) Yes, I know the damn dog doesn't have hands and feet and I completely anthropomorphise him, but a Spinster's gotta do what a Spinster's gotta do, eh?

(Wow. Such a big word for a Monday.)

FLIT FLIT FLIT

So here I am on a Saturday morning, trying to do anything I can to avoid the very long list of chores that await me. In a shameless attempt to distract myself completely, I decided to post a brief summary of my 300-pound hummingbird routine.

First up is "The Riddle". It doesn't look like very much, but that stitching on the bottom took me through the entire "Sex and The City" movie. Twice.

I have to say that it really is quite enjoyable to stitch, but I have to remind myself to be delicate...the silks are really lovely and soft compared to heavier threads I've been slapping on canvases.

Speaking of....I outlined the hearts on "Floating Hearts" but am not sure that I like it. I know, I know, y'all told me to leave well enough alone, but I just had to see what it would look like with Very Velvet stem stitched around each:

That took me all the way through "Finding Forrester". I wonder how long it will take to rip it all out?

Finally, there's "Wandering". The silks arrived, so I was able to complete the backgrounds and change those dots from Impressions to Soie Cristale:
I'm still not too thrilled with the stem stitched outlines of the swirls, but I have promised myself that I will leave it alone until the entire piece is finished and I can see it all at once. I do like the silk backgrounds, though, even it it did take all of "Howard's End" to do two lousy blocks.

Uh oh. Stewey has just stomped into the office to advise me that the laundry needs to get done today or he's going to find accomodations elsewhere. Considering the coolness of the evenings lately, I suppose I better hop to it, or I'm going to lose my little furry leg warmer.

Happy Weekend, kids!

BREATHE AND RE-BOOT

My mom can't come to the blog right now. She's curled up in the fetal position muttering to herself about needlepoint. Apparently, I was a little pill last night, so Mom decided to get out of bed and surf the webinets. Mistake. Big mistake.

She is now lusting after some of the delicious painted canvas work that she's seen. (I really need to learn how to block her from adding bookmarks. The time it's taking away from her care of me is just criminal, I tell ya'. Criminal.)

First there was Stitchy Aunt Jane's work on a canvas that had been badly damaged: http://www.chillyhollownp.blogspot.com/. The loving care that Aunt Jane is using to work on this piece has brought my stupid mo-ther to tears at least seven times, and she's threatened to go to Chilly Hollow to find the hooligans who dared to disrespect this "thing of ours". (And yes, she said that in her best Tony Soprano voice.)

I think the one that threw her over the edge, though, is Stitchy Aunt Ruth's work on a Melissa Shirley canvas. You can see it at: http://www.tistheseason.org/blog/ruthsBlog.html. Apparently, zinnias are one of Mom's very favorite things on the planet, and the fact that this piece incorporates ribbon-work has her itching to try it herself.

And if I am understanding her muttering correctly, THAT is the type of needlepoint that my silly mo-ther wants to do on painted canvases, but she knows that she is going to need to invest in some serious class-taking and stitch-guide purchasing before she will be anywhere close to this level of skill.

My Stitchy Aunt Laura is always able to calm Mom down with her fabulous designs, but now Mom realizes that she needs to HURRY UP and get going on all of the flower collages if she is ever going to get them done in this lifetime. I keep telling her to finish "Lily of the Valley Collage", but ever since she finished that damn "Daisy Collage" she's afraid that she won't be able to find the perfect silk flower for the center, since she's convinced that Flower Collage Serendipity only happens once in a great while. Sheesh.

And then my Stitchy Aunt Laura had to go and stitch a LHN piece on congress cloth: http://www.two-handedstitcher.blogspot.com/. Mom decided that she needed to do the same, but she couldn't decide if she should go back and repeat a piece that's she's already done, or if she should look for the perfect NEW piece to do with this new medium.

Then there's all of YOUR blogs in which you happily share your progress on your projects and do so with such casual elegance. Mom just about foams at the mouth as she sits in front of this silly machine looking at your latest stitches in every single thing you've ever stitched in your entire life. (I'm not kidding. She's very very stalkerish this way.)

Now do you see why I've left a message with Dr. WhosyWhatsits about increasing her meds?

I caught her sneaking up to the studio this morning, but I quickly coaxed her back downstairs with a fresh cup of coffee and the promise of a nap if she would be a good girl and stick with her Stitchy Plan. She wasn't very happy about it, but once I threatened to pee on the drapes she decided that a few hours in the Happy Chair with the newspaper would be much better for her than spending the entire day pawing through her canvases and threads. I'm not sure how much longer I can distract her, but I'm going to give it my best puppy try, since she has NEVER stuck with a plan this long in her entire life. I'm determined to get her to November 1st without any new starts if it kills the both of us.

She did do a little stitching last night. I selected The Drawn Thread's "The Riddle" as her next "We're Going To Only Work On WIP's Until November 1st" project, and she seemed pleased to put a few stitches into it: It would be amazingly swell if she would stick with this one for awhile, especially since I have already decided the wall on which it will hang once framed. I checked her project book, and although she didn't have any notes on this (bad Mommie), I suspect that she is using the 32ct. Vintage Fawn linen that the chart calls for.

I need to poke her with a stick until she starts writing stuff down on all of these stitchy projects...methinks I'm going to need these details once she finally kicks it and I'm able to open up that eBay shop.

With love from your pal,
Stewey

FLOATING HEARTS - FEE NEE

Floating Hearts

Alice Peterson #1469

Watercolors, DMC#5 perle cotton, Silk & Ivory, Kreinik#32 braid, Flair

I put the last stitch in this one at the stroke of midnight. At the last minute, I decided to tackle that teal heart once and for all, and I'm pretty satisfied with the results. I pulled out the Splendor and added another ply of Impressions, and I think it looks much better.

And! Thanks to all of you, I realized that I didn't need to outline the hearts and that they're fine just as they are. I did, however, throw a long strand of #32 Kreinik on there as a border to the border and I think it added a little oommph somehow!

Y'all were fabulous midwives for this one! Thank you for seeing me through to the bitter end!

Woo Hoo!

ALMOST THERE

Just a few more blocks in the border and then this one goes in the FeeNee pile! I'm still not too sure about that teal heart on the left. I frogged the perle cotton (because I thought it was too shiny), and replaced it with Impressions and Splendor. Methinks this will be the bane of my existence!

A LITTLE NOTE FROM MASTER STEWEY ANGUS WILLOWSWAMP, HIS VERY LITTLE SELF

My mo-ther can't come to the blog right now. She's had her nose in a book all morning, and I've been left to my own devices.

This is one of those big blockbuster books that will take her awhile to finish, so I might as well enjoy the peace and quiet while I can. I don't have my glasses on, but I think the title is Drood by the author Dan Simmons.

I am presently engaged in a game of playing Hyper-Vigilant Watch Dog Saves The Day so that the neighbors will finally acknowledge me as a force to be reckoned with, and not some trained monkey that my mom insists on parading about in fancy outfits. So far, I've managed to scare the bejeebies out of three old ladies who were taking their morning constitutional. That'll teach 'em to walk so slow! Move on, people! Nothing to see here but a Spinster and her Hyper-Vigilant Watch Dog Who Saves The Day:

"Now where did I put my cape?"

Mom worked on the background to the Floating Hearts canvas last night, but there really isn't anything exciting to show. After all of your lovely comments, she is now re-considering whether or not the hearts need bordering, so I'll be sure to let you know.

She would have completed more of the background, but she got caught up in watching "The Other Boleyn Girl", and all I know is that we have a new piece of handsome man meat for her to ogle. I think his name is Eric Bana, and how he escaped her lusty clutches thus far is beyond me. Damn Mommie.

I do hope that you are headed into a fabulous weekend. I myself am planning on a few sunshine naps, one or two snoozes with my mom, and more treats than a nine-pound bundle of joy can handle.

Cheerio!
With love from your pal,
Stewey

THE NOODGE IS BACK

As you might know from reading this here blog, my little beloved puppy tot has what I call a "special feature". OK, it's an overbite that prevents him from being breedable or showable, and I got him for fifty bucks because of it, but we don't usually talk about it too much. (God knows we don't need to do anything to damage his self esteem).

This overbite comes in handy for him whenever he a) wants to look adorable by throwing his little head back and laughing like Jerry Lewis in The Nutty Professor (see side bar for photographic evidence of this), or b) when he wants to noodge you into doing something.

(Like wake from a dead sleep so that he can twirl himself into a ball on the warm soft spot that WAS the three inches of bed that you were previously sleeping on.)

At 2am I was rudely awakened by those buck teeth and the noodge-noodging of my nine pound bundle of joy that decided he was cold and that he needed to tuck his nose into my cleavage for safekeeping. I thought I was having a heart attack, but no, it turns out that he was noodging me with those damn teeth right in the solar plexis. Damn dog.

"Sorry, Mommie Dearest. My little nose was cold."

I worked on Floating Hearts while watching the Opening Gala of the New York Philharmonic. I didn't really mean to watch the whole thing, but I just sat there and stitched away, and before I knew it, the credits were rolling and I had just heard the entire "Symphonie Fantistique" (*). I'm all cultured now. I decided to do a skip tent in Silk and Ivory for the background of the piece, and a simple tent stitch in DMC #5 perle cotton for the border. Those hearts really need to be "outlined" in some way, though, so before the day is done I want to try to come up with a solution for that. At first I thought I would stem stitch around each one with DMC#5 perle, but I tried one and didn't like it at all. So now I'm thinking about couching Very Velvet? Damn, that would mean a trip to my LNS, and God knows how much trouble I'll get into.

Ms. Monica asked about the stitch that I used for the small green heart. It's a diagonal stem stitch, with the vertical and horizontal legs done in Watercolors and the diagonal tie-down stitch in Splendor.

That's the report for today, kids. Thanks so much for stopping by and for leaving such nice comments. Right back at 'cha!

(*) I know, I know. You're cringing at the way I butcher the Engligh language and just spell stuff any 'ol way I want to. You should also be aware that I make stuff up too. Like words and phrases and gramatical constructions.

WELL, FOR PITY'S SAKES!

My goodness, but y'all could sell ice to the Eskimos. (Or am I supposed to say Northern American Indigenous Peoples? In either case I hope not to offend.)

It seems that we would be much better off if each and every one of you ran for Congress/Whatever the Elected Office Happens to Be in Your Corner of the World. That way, when someone proposes something (like a bill or a new law or something), y'all would say "Oh, I think what you're doing is just splendid! Now let's go have a snack." and we could all get on with it.

I'm quickly coming to the conclusion that the last bastion of civility in the world is "this place of ours", and that the rest of the world could take a lesson or two from us. We're happy and polite and supportive and constructive, and we know how and when to offer our opinion. We make the world a more beautiful place, our blood pressures are low, and we know the importance of proper organization and ort disposal. We keep the economy running, we support the Arts (capitalized on purpose, don't you know), we share, and (at least I'm assuming here) we don't usually run with scissors or put our pins in our mouth. We wash our hands frequently, travel with tools, look out for one another, and inspire, excite, and encourage anybody who sees our work and decides to try it too.

So thank you, my beloved StitchyFriends for such lovely commentary on the Floating Hearts canvas.

***And a big SHOUT OUT to the lovely Ms. Robin who found out that the designer of this piece is indeed Alice Peterson, and the design number is 1469. Robin, thank you. You ROCK!***

Now as for last night's stitchy progress....

I have decided that I will not change anything and will start working on the background tonight. For this, I will do something very very simple (maybe a skip tent?), so that the eye has a resting place. I'm still not too sure about the border, but methinks this will be simple also so that the hearts take center stage.

It cracks my heiney that I've had this thing for soooooo long and then all of a sudden I'm finishing it! I swear it was a lightning bolt that prompted me to pick this up after so many years, but I'm not going to question it. Maybe it will strike again and I'll finally get some other long-held WIP's finished before my deadline?

Do you realize that I've been at this since July24th! I don't think I've stuck with anything this long before. Now I'm on a mission to make it to the bitter end. November 1st will be here before I know it and I might actually get to go into 2010 with a manageable number of unfinished projects hanging over my head. Woo Hoo!

Thanks again for all of your comments and for taking time out of your day to stop by...I am truly not worthy to know such wonderful peoples!

AND THEN SHE WENT HMMMMMMM...

So there I was, happily stitching away on this floating hearts canvas, when it struck me that I might have screwed up on the stitch selection for the purple heart. I didn't see it when I was sitting in the Happy Chair and the canvas was in my lap (OK, it was perched on my boobs, but let's just call that Stitchy TMI and move on), but as soon as I stood up and walked across the room I saw it.

Do you think the stitches in the teal heart and the purple heart and the yellow heart are all too similar? And, since they are similar, does it make the stitches on the other teal heart look out of place?
Dilemmas, dilemmas.

A lovely reader asked for the artist information for this canvas. I am ashamed and mortified that I don't have a clue. This was one of the very first painted canvases that I bought, and at the time I had no inkling to record the information for future use. The name Alice Peterson keeps jumping into my brain, but I looked and looked on the webinets and couldn't find it. Please forgive me for this. I am a boob.

Thanks to some new allergy meds I am loopier than usual today. Methinks a nap might be in order. Night night!

A QUICK NOTE ABOUT THE PADDED HEARTS

Madame Mosley asked how I padded the hearts on the canvas below. Well, first I made long vertical stitches using 6ply of DMC floss. Then I went right over the top of those stitches with long horizontal stitches. Finally, I used Rainbow Gallery's Flair as the top fiber, and I think I did two courses of long vertical stitches.

I think the reason why I didn't get a lot of separation on the top layer is because Flair is a) relatively flat, and b) it's stretchy and was easily pull-able.

(Miss Jane from Needle Nest calls Flair "Barbie pantyhose" because it's a tubular nylon...tee hee!)

MR. DERSHOWITZ, PAGING MR. DERSHOWITZ

My mom can't come to the blog right now. She's at the dry cleaners, picking up my fall clothing. I asked her to get my things ready for me over a month ago (I like to be prepared, don't you know), but as usual, she procrastinated until the last minute. So here we are on September 14th already, and I don't have one single sweater ready to go. Sheesh.

Now before you defend my mo-ther, please understand that I've had to put my little paw down on this whole situation. I feel that if the old lady is going to parade me about the neighborhood like some kind of trained monkey, then I should be able to look good doing it, n'est pai? And since it took me almost three whole years to get her to stop buying my clothes in the Target baby aisle, I feel justified in caring for my things as a proper gentleman should. (I've asked Santa Claus for a valet of my very own this year, so we'll see how that goes. I would prefer someone in the order of Sir Anthony Hopkin's character in "Remains of the Day", but I'll settle for any help I can get.)

Here's what she worked on yesterday:

This is a canvas that she bought all the way back in 2005 or 2006. She has futzed around with this darn thing for months and months each year since then, but has never been able to figure out what to do with it. Last February, she got the brilliant idea to pad the center hearts (which she did), and then POOF! on Sunday some inspiration came to her.

The lower right heart is stitched with Watercolors and two different colors of Splendor in a Burden stitch. This was pretty easy to do, but it took the entire screening of "A Few Good Men" for Mom to knock this out.

The upper left heart is combo stitch...Milanese with Giant Scotch. This one she's doing in Watercolors and DMC #5 perle cotton.

I suspect that she would have finished the heart on the left if she would have stopped pausing the DVR-thingie to watch the volleyball scene from "Top Gun" over and over and over again. I swear, I thought she was going to break the remote control. (And her lusty commentary on the whole thing was rather inappropriate for me to hear, I might add.)

Anywhoose, here are a few close ups of the stitches. First the Burden stitch:

And now for the Milanese with Giant Scotch:

I guess that will have to suffice for the report from Chez Spinster today. I've been barred from further detail by my mo-ther's legal team of late, so that would account for my sporadic blog posting. Sorry about that folks, but I'm afraid that she'll attach my assets if I do too much tattle telling. Don't worry, though, I've contacted several brilliant legal brains of my own, and I hope to be unfettered real soon.

In the meantime, please continue to read her drivel and make her feel welcome. It takes a tremendous burden off of my shoulders not to have to reassure her every ten minutes. I've got napping and peeing to do, after all, so I can't be bothered with her insecurities and needs 24/7.

Have a splendid day!

With love from your pal,
Stewey

FURTHER EVIDENCE OF WHY I SHOULD NEVER BE LEFT TO MY OWN DEVICES

Do you ever wonder why some things in your stitchy life torment you to distraction, and then, when you do submit, they turn out to be your favorite project?

Such is my life with "Wandering".

I loved this chart the moment I saw it, so naturally I had to have it RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE! I bought canvas and all of the threads, etc. etc., and then promptly put it in my stash.

Then, as confessed previously, I started/stopped the damn thing multiple times. I can't find the first try, but trust me when I tell you that it wasn't pretty.

For the second attempt, I got cocky and picked out my own colors. As you can see...disaster: Just what in the heck I thought I was trying to do here escapes me at the moment, but I'm sure in my head it was lovely. Just lovely.

So then I decided to try this piece on congress cloth:

This one's not toooo bad, actually. I love love love that Waterlilies (Burnt Toast), so maybe I'll tuck this one away for a bit and come back to it later.

Finally, we arrive at the current incarnation....a Wandering v4.0, if you will:

This one seems to be a keeper so far. I did, however, discover that I will NOT be able to keep those bubbles in Impressions, so after careful consideration I've decided to stitch all of the swirls and window panes and whatever background I can and then do the rest in the Soie Cristale as soon as it gets here.

Why is it that my confidence level as a stitcher drops dramatically whenever I try to do something on my own and it just doesn't come out like I had envisioned in my punky little brain?

This thought rattled around last night until I jumped out of bed at 4am shouting: "EUREKA! I am not a needlework DESIGNER! I am a needlework STITCHER! It's OK if I just do what I'm told and enjoy the project as is. It's OK if I realize that the DESIGNER is smarter than I am and that he/she has spent hours and hours of toil to get the piece just right! It's OK if I can't come up with something better! I am a STITCHER! Not a DESIGNER!"

(The real reason I jumped out of bed at 4am was that my nine-pound puppy tot decided to have a round of projectile vomiting that would have made Linda Blair (of The Exorcist fame) proud. Poor little guy must have had too many treats yesterday, because it was all he could do to come up from under the covers to spew all over me and the freshly laundered sheets. Sigh.)

(The best news is that I did NOT freak out at all. I gently scooped him up and placed him on his perch and then calmly stripped the bed, washed the sheets, and disinfected the entire room before settling back down for the remaining ten minutes of sleep.)

"I'm not really sick. I just didn't want to go to school today."

I'm off to find a sheet for the loveseat and a TeeVee tray for some ginger ale and saltines. Ahhhhh, memory of my youth. Whenever we were sick (or faking it, ahem), Mom would put a cool crisp sheet on the couch and then let us camp out there with a little glass of ginger ale and saltines for company. Bliss.

Happy Weekend to all and to all a....well, um..Happy Weekend!

STILL WANDERING ALONG

I worked on another block of Wandering last night. At first the turquoise color threw me for a loop, but methinks it will be lovely once the whole thing is completed. Now, the original design calls for Impressions (for the swirls and window panes) and Soie Cristale (for the bubbles and background). There's also a little bit of Waterlilies on the borders. (I'm using Antique Brass for this, which is what the chart calls for.)

So like a boob, when I re-colorized this, I decided that I would be a rebel and ONLY go with Impressions and the little bit of Waterlilies. Stoo-pid, because those backgrounds are done with one skinny-minnie strand of the Soie Cristale silk and Impressions is a silk/wool non-strandable fiber.

WAIT A MINUTE......

Holey Cow! When I just re-read that paragraph, it actually sounded like I half-way knew what I was talking about! Strands! Fibers! Non-strandable! Who knew that I could remember so many needlework terms all by my very self?!

(They're probably all incorrect, but you have to give a Spinster points for trying, don't you?)

But I regress...

So the answer to the question is: I'll work on all of the blocks with what I have now and will then add the backgrounds with the Soie Cristale. I'm thinking that the bubbles look OK in the Impressions, so for now....they're staying right where they are.

Hmmm. This is definitely the most boring post I've ever written. I sure hope y'all don't figure out how far I'm REACHING for something to talk about. Don't you hate that? You know, when you don't really have anything to say and you really don't know too much about anything at all, but you hate silences so you just babble on incoherently until somebody either smiles at you in pity or they get up and leave the room?

" " (That would be the uncomfortable silence part.)

Stewey has decided to start a series of self portraits with his new camera. I wasn't too sure about this one, but he insists that the lighting is supposed to create an "atmosphere of mystery". Damn dog.

THE PROVENANCE OF MS. LILY FROG HER VERY SELF

Hey, kids...just a quickie before bed tonight. (Yes, I felt compelled to come check comments so that I could bask in your stitchy love before bed. How sad is that?)

Lily Frog is a painted canvas that comes with a stitch guide from Randi Gelman of Sew Much Fun. And! Ms. Lily is only one of many many different animals that are available for your stitchy pleasure!

Woo Hoo!

ARE WE THERE YET?

As y'all might remember, I decided on July 24th that I was going to stitch WIP's and only WIP's until November 1st. This, of course, is in an effort to reduce the pile of things that I've started to a more manageable number (double digits would be a vast improvement over triple, trust me).

There have been five finishes (along with resulting Happy Dances, of course):

LHN: My Needle's Work

Jennifer Pudney: Tall Poppies

CCN: Garden Girl

CCN: Needlework Shop

LHN: Traveling Stitcher

I swore I wasn't' going to list them, but methinks seeing the actual list in writing helps motivate me to keep going. I've hit that slump that is tempting me to go up to the studio to paw through stash and start something new. So....help me Obi Wan. You're my only hope.

The next thing I pulled out of the guest room was Bent Creek's Big Zipper, which I only just today discovered is actually titled "Live, Love, Stitch". All this time I thought that Big Zipper was a rather odd name for the project, especially since I couldn't figure out where the Big Zipper came into the design. Then I realized that Big Zipper refers to the Big Zipper bag that the initial chart comes in.

Uh, paging Mrs. Duh.

For some damn reason I get bored with this really really fast. I wish I knew why, but I can't seem to just sit and stitch this one to completion. Fiddlesticks.

Next I pulled Lily Frog from the guest room. (If you're wondering why the guest room....I put all of my WIP's in there so that I won't be tempted by anything in the studio. This way I am banned from the place and can't use the excuse that "oh, this just caught my eye and I just absolutely had to put it on q-snaps and stitch it".) Before you get too excited, this is just the pic from the front of the chart. I haven't finished the entire thing yet...just the tummy and the two front paws. Or legs. Or whatever the heck frogs have in the front.

I have to confess that this is one gorgeous stitch....it's done in silk and the resulting sheen is quite lovely. Only the back and back legs to go on this one and then it can be sent away to become more frog-like. Stewey has already asked me if it will go in his toy box when finished and he's already been told a resounding N-O.

The last project that I picked up is "Wandering". OK, I'll confess that I did have to start this one over again from scratch (for the fourth time, no less), but I think I finally hit the right color combination. This might be the one that I stick with until completion, but I don't want to say that out loud and jinx myself or anything. Now for all of you who posted lovely comments telling me that you anxiously awaited my return, may I just say a 'la Sally Field..."You like me! You really like me!". Thank you very very mucho from the bottom of my pitiful Spinster heart. It does this body good to know that so many of you stop by from time to time to see what I'm up to. I guess this is kinda' like Virtual Assisted Living.

Wonder if we can market that?

***EDITED TO ADD:

Lovely commenter Carol asked me about the weirdness of the swirls on Wandering, i.e., if it drives me nuts that you can't get them to be rounded and smooth. Good eye, Carol! Now you know why I've futzed and futzed and futzed with this sucker....I am really having a hard time with that! And I think my stem stitch outline positively sucks, but I am determined to leave it on there until the whole entire thing is finished. THEN! I am going to go get some of that new DMC memory thread and see if I can tack it down around those curves to make them smooth. (Yeah, right. And then I'm going to clean the house and exercise regularly too.)

BWA HA HA HA HA

My evil plot is revealed! You have discovered that I, Stewey Angus Willowswamp, am the evil genius behind this whole "Spinster Stitcher" phenomenon.

Pay no attention to that puppy behind the curtain!

Bwa ha ha ha ha!!!

(Cue spooky castle organ music, please.)

Seriously, kids...relax. The old lady will be back toot sweet. I promise.

Bwa ha ha ha ha!