I KNEW IT! ***EDITED WITH AN UPDATE***AND YET ANOTHER EXCITING UPDATE****

The mystery is finally solved! The word "effluvia" must have entered my brain when I was reading (um, actually rabidly stalking) Ms. Anna van Schurman's "Stitch Bitch" blog! Thank you, Ms. van Schurman for helping me with that one...I really thought I was losing my damn mind!

I have to say, this OVER ONE stitching is for the birds. Well, not for the birds, actually, but when you have meat hooks like mine it is reaaaaalllllllly hard to do! Especially on a smaller count linen! I admire the work that I see and now have a much bigger appreciation for the talent that is required to stitch over one. So, bully for you, over one stitchers! Bully for you!

Once again, my craptastic photographic skills put me in good position for a Pulitzer, eh?

Stewey is nowhere to be found this morning. I suspect that he heard me making the appointment for a "Top Dog" spa day over at the PetSmart. He may not be too thrilled about it, but I, for one, am really looking forward to a few snuggles with a downy soft pup that smells like Tom Selleck! After a good puff and fluff, he gets a few spritzes of cologne and I can't keep my hands off the little guy!

All I can say by way of explanation of that is....a spinster's gotta' do what a spinster's gotta' do!

***So I've just returned from PetSmart. Stewey and I went into the grooming salon, and when I wasn't paying attention, he apparently made a "deposit" on the floor. (I suspect that he has a nervous tummy and was trying to tell me that he had to GO but I just chalked it up to him being a pill and ignored him.) This in itself would not be so bad, were it not for the fact that I proceeded to step in said deposit without realizing it because I was too busy interrogating the lovely young man that was unfortunate enough to be on duty at the moment. Stewey also decided to step in it, soiling his otherwise fastidiously clean little paws. So when I picked him up for a good-bye snuggle and kiss, guess where the deposit ended up?!!! (I can hear the collective EEEWWWW all the way over here in Hoosierville.) Needless to say, I drove home with the windows down, gagging all the way, and then I stripped in the garage before the door had closed.

Too bad today's landscaping day. Those poor guys are definitely going to need a drink after work tonight! Damn dog.

***And yet another exciting update!*** I decided that it might be a good idea to take a shower to get rid of any microscopic remnants of Stewey's PetSmart deposit. So there I was, minding my own business while nekkid, shampooing, and wet when all of a sudden: WHOOOOOSSSSHHHHH!

As usual, my timing positively sucks. At the exact time I was showering, the landscapers started blowing out/winterizing the sprinkler system. (This involves a big ass industrial type machine that pulls up in front of the house and then they proceed to pump massive volumes of air through the pipes.)

If you'd like to experience this magic for yourself, go to your local airport. Douse yourself in freezing cold water. Put blobs of sudsy shampoo in your hair for added effect, and then ask the nice tarmac people if you can stand in front of a jet engine as it prepares for take off.

The good news is that I don't think I'll need to exfoliate anything for awhile.

The bad news is that I think I might need a skin graft.

Once again....damn dog!