BREATHE AND RE-BOOT

My mom can't come to the blog right now. She's curled up in the fetal position muttering to herself about needlepoint. Apparently, I was a little pill last night, so Mom decided to get out of bed and surf the webinets. Mistake. Big mistake.

She is now lusting after some of the delicious painted canvas work that she's seen. (I really need to learn how to block her from adding bookmarks. The time it's taking away from her care of me is just criminal, I tell ya'. Criminal.)

First there was Stitchy Aunt Jane's work on a canvas that had been badly damaged: http://www.chillyhollownp.blogspot.com/. The loving care that Aunt Jane is using to work on this piece has brought my stupid mo-ther to tears at least seven times, and she's threatened to go to Chilly Hollow to find the hooligans who dared to disrespect this "thing of ours". (And yes, she said that in her best Tony Soprano voice.)

I think the one that threw her over the edge, though, is Stitchy Aunt Ruth's work on a Melissa Shirley canvas. You can see it at: http://www.tistheseason.org/blog/ruthsBlog.html. Apparently, zinnias are one of Mom's very favorite things on the planet, and the fact that this piece incorporates ribbon-work has her itching to try it herself.

And if I am understanding her muttering correctly, THAT is the type of needlepoint that my silly mo-ther wants to do on painted canvases, but she knows that she is going to need to invest in some serious class-taking and stitch-guide purchasing before she will be anywhere close to this level of skill.

My Stitchy Aunt Laura is always able to calm Mom down with her fabulous designs, but now Mom realizes that she needs to HURRY UP and get going on all of the flower collages if she is ever going to get them done in this lifetime. I keep telling her to finish "Lily of the Valley Collage", but ever since she finished that damn "Daisy Collage" she's afraid that she won't be able to find the perfect silk flower for the center, since she's convinced that Flower Collage Serendipity only happens once in a great while. Sheesh.

And then my Stitchy Aunt Laura had to go and stitch a LHN piece on congress cloth: http://www.two-handedstitcher.blogspot.com/. Mom decided that she needed to do the same, but she couldn't decide if she should go back and repeat a piece that's she's already done, or if she should look for the perfect NEW piece to do with this new medium.

Then there's all of YOUR blogs in which you happily share your progress on your projects and do so with such casual elegance. Mom just about foams at the mouth as she sits in front of this silly machine looking at your latest stitches in every single thing you've ever stitched in your entire life. (I'm not kidding. She's very very stalkerish this way.)

Now do you see why I've left a message with Dr. WhosyWhatsits about increasing her meds?

I caught her sneaking up to the studio this morning, but I quickly coaxed her back downstairs with a fresh cup of coffee and the promise of a nap if she would be a good girl and stick with her Stitchy Plan. She wasn't very happy about it, but once I threatened to pee on the drapes she decided that a few hours in the Happy Chair with the newspaper would be much better for her than spending the entire day pawing through her canvases and threads. I'm not sure how much longer I can distract her, but I'm going to give it my best puppy try, since she has NEVER stuck with a plan this long in her entire life. I'm determined to get her to November 1st without any new starts if it kills the both of us.

She did do a little stitching last night. I selected The Drawn Thread's "The Riddle" as her next "We're Going To Only Work On WIP's Until November 1st" project, and she seemed pleased to put a few stitches into it: It would be amazingly swell if she would stick with this one for awhile, especially since I have already decided the wall on which it will hang once framed. I checked her project book, and although she didn't have any notes on this (bad Mommie), I suspect that she is using the 32ct. Vintage Fawn linen that the chart calls for.

I need to poke her with a stick until she starts writing stuff down on all of these stitchy projects...methinks I'm going to need these details once she finally kicks it and I'm able to open up that eBay shop.

With love from your pal,
Stewey