HOUSTON, WE HAVE A BASKET...

For once....no plan.  No rotation.  No angst.  I'm just going to plant my big fat heiney in the Happy Chair with these and....stitch!

Stay tuned!

WE'LL BE BACK AFTER A WORD FROM THESE SPONSORS...

My mom can't come to the blog right now.  She's taken to her bed with the covers pulled over her head, and I swear I heard her mutter something about staying there until the Apocalypse.  Methinks the old lady has been spending too much time in the world of late and it's time to get her back in her little woman cave -- pink fuzzies firmly in place, a dietCoke at the ready, and a little You've Got Mail on the TeeVee.

I suspect that all of this dis-ease around here can be blamed on a combination of things.  As y'all know, my Aunt Chrissy has been terribly under the weather lately, and this causes Mo-ther no end of angst as she tries to figure out how to fix it.  Trouble is, Mo-ther isn't a doctor, she only plays one on TeeVee, so she should spend her energies elsewhere.  (Like, for instance on laundry.  Or popping out to the PetSmart for some new toys for you-know-who.)

I'm just saying.

The second problem is this crazypants weather we're having, and the fact that it has seriously hampered the old lady's efforts in the self improvement department.  She decided that this was finally going to be the year that she hauled her self around the block every morning, but so far Mother Nature has refused to cooperate.  Between darkness and snow and rain and sleet and hail and ice, there hasn't been one day that Mo-ther has felt safe venturing forth.  (You can't blame this one on me, kids.  I'm game for a w-a-l-k any day of the week and twice on Sundays.) 

So there.

The third and final piece of this little mental health puzzle is the list of things that Mo-ther is NOT doing.  In no particular order, this list reads as follows:  Mo-ther is NOT stitching.  Mo-ther is NOT reading.  Mo-ther is NOT writing.  Mo-ther is NOT doing the damn Jumble each morning, and last but not least, Mo-ther is NOT spending adequate cuddle time with yours truly here. 

Well, I'm going to remedy all of that as soon as I possibly can.  I've asked my Aunt Chrissy to come over this weekend for a little sissy time up in the studio, and as long as Mo-ther cooperates, I suspect that the needles will be flying once more. Then, once this happens, you can bet that you'll see her on this here blog with a little bit better frequency, and I know for a FACT that this will mean that all of the other stuff will fall into place thereafter.

So thank you for being such good sports while Mo-ther hibernates, my dear friends.  I would imagine that all of her drama wears thin after a while, so I really do appreciate you sticking with us!  Until we meet again, I remain your loyal and devoted friend.....

With love from your pal,
Stewey

PAGING THE MAYTAG REPAIRMAN...

I'm out of balance.

Kind of like a big fat sweaty washing machine that has too many bulky towels in it and decides to shimmy across the laundry room floor.

Except my shimmy is busted and I wouldn't be able to perform any type of mechanical function whatsoever.

Time to switch the load....

CWAP

Will somebody please explain to me how long it takes to re-learn all of the stuff I seem to have forgotten with respects to this thing of ours?  I used to be able to stitch with two eyes closed, a vat of dietCoke in one hand, the TeeVee remote in the other, and handsome hunky mens on said TeeVee.

Now it seems like I require absolute silence, a moment of fervent prayer, and six people with flashlights just to thread a freaking needle.

Sheesh....if I would have known that when you lose your mojo you REALLY lose your mojo, I never would have left the house!

So looks like it's a bit back to square one for me, kids.  If I'm not back in a week, send reinforcements, please.

WHO'S HAPPIER THAN ME?

It's 7pm on a Saturday and I'm in the Happy Chair with glasses on, diet Coke iced, and this perfect project to play with. Thanks to dear stitchy friend Charlene, I won't have to roam the streets tonight in search of the perfect project.

Woo Hoo!

FOR SALE....RED SHOES, BEANIE, AND A REALLY LOVELY GOLD RING (ALL SIZE EXTRA LITTLE)

My mom can't come to the blog right now.  She's out in the driveway trying to convince my limo driver that a Mishawaka Public Library card is surely adequate payment for my recent excursion from O'Hare to Chez Spinster.  (What can I say?  My flight from Rome was delayed getting in and there was only so much time to grab my valise and hop on board the Hummer stretch that was conveniently parked at the curb.)

Stupid Mo-ther.  She actually thought I was going to take the bus home after the ordeal of being rejected as the next Pope. (For the record, methinks I would have made a very good Pope, especially when you consider that my campaign platform was "Red shoes for everybody!")

Moments ago I heard someone on the TeeVee say "The problem with the Catholic Church is that it's run by humans."  It must be my jet lag, because I found myself snarking "As opposed to other churches that are run by gerbils?"  I mean, even I, a very simple pup knows that that was a silly thing to say.

So now that I'm stateside once again, I hope to return to more regular postings. There really hasn't been a lot to report, unfortunately.  Mo-ther has been on her very best behavior and has even managed to put a few stitches into her canvas, but I'll have to show you later since the TSA confiscated my camera.  (Dirty bastards.)

(Oops.  Maybe that's why the vote didn't go my way.)

I hope that this does find you well and that wherever you are is exactly where you want to be.  Know that I love and cherish you most dearly and that I'll return to this little corner of our world very soon!

With love from your pal,
Stewey Sanctis, Second Runner-up to the new guy, but who is not bitter about it in the least.

JUST ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE...

Progress continues on the Rishfeld canvas:

Aunt Chrissy is closing in on a finish ('scuse the wrinkles, please):

And Baby Bosco is giving kisses:

EASY LIKE A...SATURDAY?...MORNING

Aunt Chrissy and Bosco are still snoozing, Stewey is on his perch, and I'm contemplating another cuppa.  It has been such bliss to have a house full of sissy love and pups.  Methinks we need to think about doing this permanently.

(I suppose that that little plan would require Aunt Chrissy to feel the same way I do, hmmmm?  Why do I think that the answer to that particular question might not be what I expect? )

(What can I say?  I'm much better in small doses.)

Any whose....we're off for a few sissy errands and then hopefully it's back to the Happy Chair for some weekend therapy in the form of some serious tent stitching for me and some lovely silk crosses for AC.

Are you exactly where you want to be today?  I hope so!  Stay warm and safe and dry and we'll see you on the other side!

SPINSTER SISSY STITCHING

Aunt Chrissy and Bosco have been hanging at Chez Spinster lately and there's a whole lotta' stitching going on!  I finished the green background of the Rishfeld canvas, and Aunt Chrissy made some good progress on Shepherd's Bush Baby Bug Ball.  (She's been a SB fan from Day One, so it's a pleasure to watch her get back into a stitchy groove!)

Here's Aunt Chrissy's piece:

And here's mine:

We're warm and safe and dry and hunkered down with some vegetable soup and homemade bread for dinner.  The weather report for these here parts is a bit dicey, but we're armed with lots of comfort for the duration!

Thank you one and all for all of your lovely notes and cards and letters and well wishes for Aunt Chrissy's speedy recovery.  She'll be on the mend soon and back to her old self as fast as I can possibly get her there.  In the meantime...love love love to one and all!

WELL, AT LEAST SHE HAS A PLAN

My mom can't come to the blog right now.  She's still snoring away in the big girl sleigh bed, with occasional mutterings of how she's never going to leave the house again.  Methinks she has finally gone 'round the bend, poor dear.

What a wonderful world we occupy to have such lovely friends both far and wide.  Your prayers and support and encouragement were everything my mo-ther and Aunt Chrissy needed these last few days, friends.  THANK YOU!!!!  Both Bosco and I want you to know that your concern for our mommie dearests is precious to us, and we will never forget it.

The plan for today is rest and then more rest, followed by an evening of lounging.  Tomorrow, we're going to wash some underpants and push the Swiffer around a bit, and then Sunday is going to be a studio day.  I can tell how much it's bothering Mo-ther that she hasn't stitched in a while, so I'm going to insist that she does so, if only for the good of the planet.  A stressed out spinster isn't god for any body or any thing, so we need to fix it.

As for me, I will enjoy the return to my perch, little bed, apartment, and ottoman.  You'll be happy to know that I have been on my very best behavior of late, so please don't fret that I'm watering the drapes.

Wherever you are is where I hope you wish to be.  Have a splendid weekend, give yourself a big hug from all of us here in Hoosierville, and know that we cherish you sincerely.

With love from your pal,
Stewey

THREE THINGS

1.  Thank you, dear friends.  Your love and support are just what the doctor ordered.  In the lobby of our hotel is a big dispenser of this special water that's supposed to make everything all better. (Well, maybe it's just regular old water with a bunch of stuff in it like fruits and herbs and such, but I've got it in my head that it has magical healing powers, and I make poor Aunt Chrissy take a sip every time we pass it.)  "You do realize that we're in Cleveland and not at Lourdes, right?" she says every time I hand her a cup.  Well, your comments are like that damn water, kids, so I'm drenching her in them every chance I get.

2.  A few moments ago I got a really good chuckle out of her.  We were watching the TeeVee and a commercial came on for Kourtney and Kim take Miami.  So I put on my very best pouty kissy face and said..."Kourtney and Kim take Miami?  How about Crys and Coni take Cleveland!?"  And then we started cutting up about what that might look like and how we'd finally have enough money to do all of the things we'd like to do, like send Stewey to charm school, get Bosco a motorbike, and finally open up that needlework shop.   Look out, Bravo , here we come!

3.  At one point last night I got so frustrated that I am of no help whatsoever that I said (right in the middle of a snotty ugly cry)...."Oh, sissy.  You would have been better of with a labradoodle."  Thank God my sister is my sister and she knows that no matter how bad the circumstances might be....I will find a way to turn it all around and make it all about MEEEEEEE, because she just smiled and patted my hand and made me feel much better.

We headed off to yet another procedure.  This one will involve anesthesia, so at least I know Aunt Chrissy will be able to get a minute of peace and quiet.

Thanks again for all of your love and support!  We're hoping to return to our regularly scheduled programming real soon!

JUST NOT WORTHY

I'm sitting here watching my little sister sleep after what has been a ridiculously bad day for her.  I promised her that I wouldn't tell the whole world all of her secrets, so I will, instead, tell you that my sister is the bravest person I know.

She hasn't been feeling very well for a very long time now, so part of trying to get her better is a series of tests that will tell the docs here in Cleveland how they can fix her.  Logically, we know that these guys are the best, and mentally, we know that this test is what is necessary, but it didn't do a damn thing to make it any easier to endure.

But my sister took a deep breath, wiped away her tears, and said "Let's get this over with" before I was able to figure out where to hang our coats.  She was brave.  Oh, my God, was she brave.  I stood behind her to lend what I hoped was feeble support, but instead all I could do was bawl that my little sister had to be so scared and in so much pain.

It bloody well sucked.

Tomorrow morning, bright and early, she'll have the monitor removed, and then we can prepare for the next test.  The only good thing with this one is that we already know that she will be knocked out for it.

Too bad I won't be, but I promise that I'll try to be a little brave.....and maybe worthy of a sister like our dear Aunt Chrissy....

Keep those happy thoughts, kids.  We'll see you on the other side!

STITCHERS ROCK!!!

THANK YOU! to one and all for the great recommendations!  I think that our stitchy friend Joanne will have several options now....all thanks to you!

I've been in a little bit of a blur these last few days, so when I awoke to the news that weather was bearing down on y'all over there on the coast I said  "Stewey!  We need to invite the entire state of New Jersey home to live with us again!".

Little Lord Fauntleroy was, as usual, not at all amused.

But for all of you in the storm's path....please stay warm and safe and dry.  Eat something wonderful, drink something comforting, and stitch to your heart's content!  We'll be sending you our happiest thoughts for a safe and happy weekend!

Woo Hoo!

CALLING ALL CARS....

Hi, kids.  I'm in the midst of a project at the moment, so not much of an update for you, but a fellow stitchy friend needs help.

If you're a canvas work person, and enjoy doing those types of projects, where do you go for all of your supplies?  We're looking for a "one stop shop" type of place that will have stretcher bars (preferably Evertights), Caron threads, canvas, and other supplies that would help you complete a project.

Comments, please.  Shop owners welcome!

FUTZUS PREMATURIS

I awoke with the happy thought that today was Futzingday (*). 

"Woo Hoo!" I bellowed, as I hopped out of the big girl sleigh bed.  "A whole day of Futzing is to be had by all!".

This was right about the point that Stewey poked his nose out from under the t-shirt sheets and Woolrich blanket to inform me that today is, in fact, Tuesday, and NOT Futzingday.

Crap.

So I'm going to head to an appointment and then come home and start the festivities early.  I'm jonesing for a studio day, and if I can manage to get the motivation to do more than stare at the walls, I might actually make it up there to rummage through my stash for some fun things for the basket.

The basket, sadly, has been empty for quite some time now, so methinks a little rummage might be just what the doctor ordered.

So Happy Futzingday Eve, everybody!  What are you going to do to celebrate?

(*) Futzingay is nothing more than Wednesday, kids.  I named it thusly because I have a propensity to do absolutely nothing but futz on Wednesdays.  So I figured that an official day to do so each week would make me feel less like a slacker and more like a traditionalist.

MONDAY, MONDAY

The red background on the Rishfeld canvas is now complete.  On to the green!

IMAGINE THAT......

Yesterday was a whirlwind of activity for yours truly, but I think that the best part of it all was realizing that I am capable of going out for dinner with a friend without too much adult supervision.  Normally, I am accompanied by Aunt Chrissy, who does her level best to make sure that I don't make a complete boob of myself (at least not too terribly often), but last night I was on my own.

If you asked me when I became incapable of adult human interaction, I couldn't say exactly, but I do know that there was a time in my life when I was able to act somewhat normal, use a proper dining utensil without having a nervous breakdown, and remember my manners for more than four consecutive minutes without having to run to the ladies room to talk to myself in the mirror.

Sheesh...when did it get so damn difficult to just be me?

(Already I can hear the Peanut Gallery piping up, so to that I will say "Settle down, kids.  I may have BEEN a complete social misfit my entire life, I just didn't KNOW it until now.")

So what's new with you on this fine Wednesday morning?  Are you chanting "Gloom, gloom, go away" like we are here in Hoosierville?  58 today....14 tomorrow!


Woo Hoo!

ON THIS EPISODE OF CRACKPOT SPINSTER THEATRE....

Doesn't it look like Heathcliff could come bounding across the moors at any moment?  On days like this, when the fog rolls over the meadow, I expect to see my friend Kavanaugh standing out there with his bagpipes a'blasting.

(And, no, I'm not really sure that the patch of land behind my house is a meadow, exactly, but meadow sounds nicer than "unincorporated county property".  Or...field.)

I'm knee-deep into watching the entire Sopranos series again.  I think this is the ninth or tenth time I've watched it, so by now I can pretty much quote the dialogue in my sleep.  I just hope that I don't do what I normally do when in the midst of all things Tony and Carmella -- which is swear my fool head off and walk around pretending that I actually know what a good "gab-a-gool" is. 

(This, of course, is in direct contrast to what I really am -- which is an idiot spinster who eats her spaghetti sauce from a jar.)

Here's the progress on the canvas.  I am loving that red background stitch, even if it is a bee-yatch to compensate.

See?  Sopranos.

OK. SO NOW SHE'S MAKING MEATLOAF.

My mom can't come to the blog right now.  A few moments ago she lumbered out of the big girl sleigh bed (after dramatically throwing her arm across her forehead while bemoaning how "bereft of energy" she was, by the way) to head toward the kitchen for her morning coffee. 

I decided to remain quietly under the covers so that whatever craziness the old lady has cooked up for the day might pass me by.  Alas, it was not to be.

"MEATLOAF!"  I heard her bellow.  "WE NEED MEATLOAF!"

From what I gather, my stupid mo-ther has been more distracted than usual lately, so she figured that the only way to get one's bull by one's horns is to make a baked slab of ground meat the approximate size of a mini bus.  My cousin Bosco thinks this is hilarious, especially since his nickname happens to BE meatloaf, but I find the entire exercise exhausting.

After a long confab with my Aunt Chrissy, I've come to accept the fact that whatever brain cells were in my mother's head have probably headed south for the winter.  Apparently, I'm not the only one left to wonder what the hell this woman is thinking half the time, but fortunately for me, I know First Aid and am capable of caring for myself in a sufficient fashion.

So rather than doing laundry or cleaning the house or taking down the inside Christmas decorations (I know, horrified silence, right?), or heading up to the studio to once and for all put together a "Winter" stitching basket....we're making meatloaf.

I do hope that this finds your own little corner of the world a little less....disorganized, and that you're headed into the weekend armed with only that which is completely fabulous in every way.  Until we meet again....I remain your loyal and devoted friend.

With love from your pal,
Stewey

WELL THAT DIDN'T LAST VERY LONG

About three and a half minutes into my whole "just go with the flow" needlework plan, I think I've come up with a new one.  The only problem I have is that it involves going upstairs to the studio, and this is not something that is remotely possible when one is canoodled under three blankets with a fuzzy puppy. 

I'm toasty, kids, and I don't feel like changing that at the moment.

So stay tuned to see what nutball configuration emerges from this afternoon's activity.  I don't think it's going to be anything Earth shattering, but maybe it will get me out of the one-at-a-time mode I've been in for the last several months.  Methinks it's time to get some counted canvas work, cross stitch, Christmas ornaments, and WIP's back into rotation.

Woo Hoo!