SCENES FROM A SPINSTER FUTZINGDAY

The first cup is medicinal...the second, recreational.

The last of the mess to be cleaned up...probably tomorrow.

Tonight's only assignment...catch up on reading the paper!

Well, so far, so good today, Dearies! I am up and showered and almost ready to go to dialysis. I confess to a momentary thought of turning the alarm off, burrowing deeper into the covers, and calling off today...but I am really holding myself accountable to this "doing everything I can to be as healthy as I can be" thing, and am going to go despite wanting to do otherwise.

Phooey.

No stitching to report due to my momentary lapse of sanity, but I am looking on the bright side. Now it will be much easier to go into that room and just get some inspiration, or find a new start, or grab a WIP and get wipping.  So no complaints at all for being a total doofus yesterday.

Besides...now I have a proper desk setup to pay bills, plan, write, conquer the world, etc.

(Shouldn't everybody have a desk like that?)

I'm off like a herd of turtles! I'm going to wear my goofy leggings and the brightest neon lemon yellow big shirt I can find today. Goodness knows I need a little ooommmppphhh to get me going!

Happy Futzingday! I hope it's extra futzy for you and that you get to do something totally swell! Come tell me all about it!

AND THEN A LITTLE OF HER DAMN MIND CAME BACK AND SHE LISTENED TO THE VOICES OF HER BETTER ANGELS...

I'm not sure what happend exactly, but after about six hours of futzing, I decided to STOP right there and then, get in the shower, and sit down.

This is either the result of maturity, or some kind of cosmic warning that I was about ready to have a stroke, but either way I am now safely showered and on the couch and determined to ignore the complete chaos around me.

In my entire life I have never given up on something like this half way through.  In days gone by, I would have pushed myself to the point of exhaustion and/or a trip to the Emergency Room, but I suppose this is my new normal now and I should embrace it.

By the way...I'd love to tell you that this all happened because I am wise and prudent, but the truth of the matter is that my body just...gave out. It just decided to quit having the capacity to move. Both my arms and legs just upped and quit...like they had some kind of portly conspiracy against one more minute of working.

But now I am resting comfortably, and I texted JB Magoo to let him know about the day's shenanagins:

ME: I just did something really dumb. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now I'm not so sure.

MAGOO: What did you eat now?!

ME: No...wasn't anything I ate.

MAGOO: Oh my God! Are you in the hospital?!! Is everything OK??!!

ME: I'm fine. Not in the hospital.

MAGOO: Are you in jail?

ME: Nope.

MAGOO: BoBo...you know I love ya, but even I can't possibly guess what you would consider dumb at this point. What the heck did you do?!

(JB Magoo didn't actually use the word "heck". As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure JB Magoo has never used the word "heck" in his entire existence on the planet...but this is, after all, a family show and censorship must be deployed when necessary.)

ME: I emptied the entire contents of the cube room studio into the living room, and now I'm trying to put it all back.

MAGOO: (a series of emojis that I can only assume meant I am a complete idiot and should never be left without adult supervision again)

ME: (smiley face, smiley face, little picture of a woman shrugging her shoulders as if to say "wadda ya gonna do?")

MAGOO: Con...you woke up and texted me that you felt like a bus had hit you and that you were going to stay in that freakin chair and stitch today. Why would you do this to yourself when you know you have to get up and go to dialysis tomorrow?!

ME: (lady shrugging again) (*)

MAGOO: What are you doing now?

ME: Sitting on the floor. 

MAGOO: ???

ME: Contemplating arson.

MAGOO: Good idea, Con. Good idea.

(*) It's here that I should probably explain that my little people emojis on my phone contraption completely confuse me. I somehow change their ethnicity every time I use them, and they are never caucasian with brown hair...like me. Sometimes I am blonde. Sometimes I am of Asian heritage, Sometimes I'm African American. It drives Magoo nuts, because he feels like he's having a conversation with a United Colours of Benneton ad.

Now the big question comes. Should I make something for dinner or just skip it and have tacos another night? I'm not really hungry, so I suppose an apple later and lots if water might be a better idea than making a mess in the kitchen that I won't be abke to clean up.

Speaking of messes:

Can you believe I left it like that?!  I swear, it's going to take a sedative to keep me from jumping up tonight and finishing it.

I'll save the reveal for Thursday, which is when I hope to be completed with this little adventure. I promise...next time I get a bright idea in my head like this I'll wait for it to pass!

Hope your Tuesday was swell!  More tomorrow...God willing!

AND THEN...SHE LOST HER DAMN MIND

IN WHICH WE SUFFER FROM A TUESDAY DILEMMA....

Brace yourself, Dearies. 

What I'm about to show you is both shocking and completely predictable. 

I hesitate to do it, but I think the only way I am ever going to address the situation is to spinster shame myself into revealing....

Oh, the inhumanity!

The cube room studio has become a dumping ground.

(Pause for a hearty round of "Like we couldn't see THAT coming".)

I tried, I really did, but I have turned my little nook into a total disaster, and it is driving me to distraction. I don't dare step foot in there, and God forbid I need something stupid like a bigger q-snap or a new needle, because the chaos that is my stash makes me want to sit down on the floor and cry.

My plan for the day is to completely empty this room, re-organize it to within an inch of its life, and then spend some time sitting in the chair looking out the window and enjoying the fruits of my labor.

Or maybe...

I could sit on the couch and stitch this instead:

I'm three episodes away from being caught up with the Housewives, I've got eight movies taped that I'm dying to see, and there's always re-runs of something or other to capture my attention.

Oh, what is a spinster to do?

(Before you tell me to be lazy, understand that there are two other areas of CS2 to be done on Thursday and Saturday, so if I don't do the studio today I am setting myself up for guilt and recrimination of epic proportions.)

(Can anybody tell me why I do this to myself? You would think that by now I would have realized that I am old and broken down and tired and not the twenty-something year old gal about town who used to clean her entire apartment, go grocery shopping, and then out for dinner...all on a Saturday. Why am I beating myself up over one small space in an apartment that is otherwise kinda tidy? When am I going to learn that it's OK for me to be a patient and just sit on my heiney on days off, and not feel like I have to.....)

Dr. Melfi.  Paging Dr. Melfi!

Seriously, kids, I think I get like this because I feel completely terrified and helpless three days a week when I'm hooked up to that machine, and I'm trying to convince myself that I'm still in control of my life in some way. Control has always been a thing with me, and I guess I have just never learned to relinquish it.

(Except to Stewey, but that's a whole other therapy session for a whole other day.)

OK, enough. I'm going in.

If I'm not back in twenty-four hours with pictures of some form of success...call the authorities. (Just give me a geads up so I can get a bra and lipstick on).

Happy Tuesday, Dearies! Come tell me all about your corner of the world today!

SCENES FROM A SPINSTER SUNDAY...

SATURDAY SPINSTER BLISS...

Nails and toes painted by Yours Truly with a color called Brick Knit...

Living room tidy...

Kitchen clean...

Fridge and freezer cleaned and organized...

Ferns watered...

Now I'm going to make a big pot of Carol Jean's Chicken Stew, have a long hot shower, settle in to the Happy Chair and stitch my eyeballs out until the wee hours. I didn't get out of the big girl sleigh bed until noon today (!) but I think that extra sleeping and lounging were just what I needed. I am feeling better today than normal, so I want to enjoy every single minute of it!

Several of you asked me about my menu. I am making three things and then eating them throughtout the week, since Monday, Wednesday, and Friday are usually too rough to cook. Today I am making chicken stew. Tomorrow I am making goulash. Tuesday I am making tacos. I know, I know, heavy on the beef, but both are 95% lean and I need to up my protein. Besides...both goulash and tacos sound good to me, and I was told to eat what sounds good, since a craving indicates something I'm lacking.

(Yup...this works for chocolate too. If you crave chocolate, your body is telling you it needs zinc and magnesium apparently. I always though it meant I just wanted to not stab people in the head.)

The chicken stew recipe comes from my dad's cousin, Carol Jean. When my mom died, Carol Jean brought over a big pot of it, and I have loved it and made it frequently ever since. Chicken, potatoes, carrots, peas, onions...tastes like a chicken pot pie without the crust. What's not to love about that?

The goulash comes from my friend Cheryl's husband Mr. Mike. When I used to stay with them at their lake house, he would make this on cold Saturday afternoons, and I loved it too.  Stew beef, potatoes, carrots, tomato juice, and tons of paprika. I like it super spicy and eat it with rye bread and butter...just like Mr. Mike.

Tacos are tacos, Dearies. I don't do anything special here except eat them open faced, since I end up wearing them if I don't. I should just hit the Taco Bell drive thru and order a bag of them to go, but I am determined to stay inside CS2 for the next eight days and completely de-people myself.

So that's the report from a warmish and overcast Hoosierville today. I hope that you are enjoying your very own Saturday. Come tell me all about it!

EIGHT DAYS...

Mr. Spinster Jersey Boy Magoo is heading to Atlantic City to visit his mom, so I am going to have an entire eight days to my very self!

I do enjoy the pleasure of his company, but sometimes a spinster just needs a minute...you know? He's very handy for carrying things up the steps, or dragging me out to an event or sporting game, but we all know that I am very block-headed and agoraphobic and lazy and just want to sit in my twenty-six year old Happy Chair in my eighteen-year old sweatpants and stitch and watch the Housewives.

I've planned my menu, written my grocery list, reviewed my to do list, and plotted out the next eight days of...Spinster Stitcher bliss.

First thing on my to do list?

"Throw away to do list".

I will still have to come to dialysis Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, but that's really the only "must" that has to happen. Everything else is completely optional.

I would like to clean and re-organize the cube room studio, but methinks that will only take place if the planets align just right and my poor left arm cooperates. It is just too darn swollen and sore to think about much, but I am doing all of the things the specialists have prescribed, and I'm hopeful.

Tonight will be pizza and the Netflix...or maybe Chinese food and an Outlander marathon. Either way, I suspect that it will take place in my jams, with the Magic Blanket and some stitching firmly in place.

We're off like a herd of turtles, Dearies! I hope you have a Fabulous Friday and a Wonderful Weekend doing everything that blows your skirt up and nothing that doesn't! Come tell me all about it!

PAGING JULIE CAYEMBERG, PAGING MS. JULIE CAYEMBERG

Miss Julie, I have your order ready to ship, but don't have any information for you. Please send me your mailing address, Dearie! My email is spinsterstitcher@aol.com. Thank you!

IN WHICH THE CHICKEN SISTERS MAKE A RETURN APPEARANCE...

I awoke to a lot of commotion out here in the living room, only to discover the Chicken Sisters, Eleanor and Josephine... fussing over their billfolds.

"You still owe me for the Valet", Eleanor said.

"No, I paid for the bottle service when you were in the mosh pit", replied Josephine.

"Well, how did I manage to spend all of the money I had in my purse?", Eleanor wondered aloud.

"Why don't you ask one of the SEVERAL DOZEN guys you invited back to our suite?!", bellowed Josephine.

I have absolutely no idea what the old gals have been up to, but I suspect that later today there will be phone calls and emails from credit card companies, hotel managers, and several dozen lovelorn fellows demanding an explanation.

(Fifty-two years old, and here I am acting as an incompetent supervisor of two geriatric chickens who live like a couple of horny rockstar teenagers with an unlimited allowance.)

I better go separate the two of them, or I'll be cleaning up feathers and chicken teeth for days...

Happy Thursday, Dearies! Do something fun (and less dramatic) and come tell me all about it!

HOOSIERVILLE...3:37AM

I suppose when one goes to bed at 8, it's only natural to be wide awake and in the Happy Chair at this hour, but I'm not sure I like it very much.  I really did try to stay longer in the big girl sleigh bed, but the more I tossed and turned, the more fretful I became, so here we are.

It's too early for a cup of damn good, so I'm contemplating a nice hot tea...maybe something herbal that will give me a few more hours of snoring away before I face the day. 

Although...it's raining at the moment, and the sound of it is making me pretty content to just sit here and listen to it pitter patter on the roof. 

The newspaper is already here, through what I imagine to be some miracle of science, but is probably just the placement of CS2 on the delivery route...but here nonetheless and ready to be contemplated. I know that I am probably the last person on the planet to do so, but I like an actual real live physical paper in the morning, instead of catching up with the world on this silly contraption.

Wait a minute...

I guess catching up with the world on this silly contraption is exactly what I'm doing at the moment in what can only be described as the mother of all ironies.

Happy Tuesday, Dearies. I hope you get to make some fun and mischief today! If it's not too incriminating, come tell us all about it!

MONDAY, MONDAY

Hello, and a cheery good morning to you, Dearies!

Can you believe it's October already? I just looked at the calendar thingie on my phone and realized that we're here already.  How the heck did that happen?

I feel like I stitched a fair amount yesterday, but don't have a lot of progress to show:

I suppose it doesn't help matters that the piece I'm working on is full coverage in this section:

But it's stitching nevertheless, and I'm super happy to have spent time with needle and thread in hand.

Buzzy is doing his thing at the moment, and I am contemplating a nice afternoon of Flosstube here in the chair, followed by a good dinner out on the balcony and then some TeeVee and stitching once the kitchen is back to order. Not exactly an exciting plan, but methinks it just might be a good one for an October Monday.

What's new in your corner of the world? Come tell me all about it!

NEEDLEMINDERS SHIPPING!

Hello, Dearies!

Needleminder orders have started shipping and should be completed by Wednesday of this week. Of all the crazy things...I ran out of magnets and had to order extras from the amazons after buying out the Michael's of all the magnets they had.

I enclosed a little note with the orders, but want to also mention it here: If for any reason you receive your needleminder and are disappointed or dissatisfied in any way, please contact me and let me know. I will either re-make your order for you or will happily return your donation.

(In light of some disappointing things I have been hearing about stitchers behaving badly with respects to other people's money, I want to make sure that you feel very happy that you got your money's worth!)

WooHoo!

Coni

NOT. MOVING. TODAY.

EXHAUSTED, BUT VERY HAPPY

Today I cleaned the apartment like the old days. I'm wiped out, but very very happy that I did so. The physical exercise was great for my poor old worn out portly body, and the resultng clean and tidy home is just what my poor old worn out soul needed.

I'm off to a hot scrubby shower in that clean bathrom and then I'm going to climb into that freshly changed bed and sleep deeply and well!

Ciao, Dearies and Happy Saturday!

WELL, SO MUCH FOR THAT IDEA...

So there I was, minding my own business, when I decided to make the bed.

Instead of making the bed, I stripped it, flipped the mattress, re-dressed it with Fall/Winter bedding and then decided to clean to bedroom. 

It didn't stop there. Noooooo, I just had to go into the bathroom and clean it like an Amish woman getting ready to host church services. I washed walls, changed the shower curtain, scrubbed, cleaned, disinfected, and polished that sucker right back to factory condition.

I'm pretty sure we could do surgery in there now...exactly how I like it.

It's been quite a while since I've been able to do a "let's clean the house Saturday", so i think I'm going to enjoy it and head into the kitchen now.

Pray for me, Dearies. This is either going to end with me happily stitching in a clean apartment or the emergency room.

SATURDAY SPINSTER BLISS...

I've got the Ryder Cup on for damn good time, the magic blanket did its trick during the night, and I'm contemplating the day ahead. I suppose I could do laundry, clean CS2 to within an inch of its life, go to the grocery, and make something fun for dinner.

Nope.

I'm going to stay right here and enjoy a "do nothing" Saturday until it's time for the game. Notre Dame and Stanford kick off this evening and I'm hoping for another victory for my Irish, even though I really like Stanford.

Stitching will commence as soon as I take a hot scrubby and wake up a bit more. I still have my hangover from yesterday and need it to go away before I put needle and thread in hand!

Here's hoping your very own Saturday is wonderfully swell, Dearies. Come tell us all about it!

FALL FRIDAY...

I'm enjoying my second cup of damn good under my magic blanket before it's time to get ready for dialysis. It's about 50 degrees outside and about 55 degrees inside...just exactly how I love it!

No stitching to report, Dearies. I made needleminders all day yesterday and then spent the evening with a few ice packs and some Tylenol. I have been having trouble with my left hand and arm, and it looks like I might have developed something called Steal Syndrome...an issue that sometimes crops up with patients with AV fistulas. I'm thinking that all of the activity with that hand was a little too much, but we'll see...

Tonight, I hope to return to stitching a bit, with a movie or two and the magic blanket back in place. But first, Buzzy ans Beepy need to go do their thing for a bit, so off we go!

Happy Friday! I hope your weekend is off to a great start and that you get to spend some time with your own needle and thread. Come tell us all about it!