SHOO BEE DO BEE DO

I don't know what the heck is wrong with me today. I've been walking around the house with a dietCoke in my hand pretending to be Dean Martin. If I had a ciggie and a microphone, I'd be all set to become a lounge singer.

Oh, wait.

I don't smoke and I can't sing.

Oh well, at least I've got my stitching.

(But first...did you know that the bevvie in Dean's glass was usually iced tea or apple juice and that he very rarely drank alcohol despite his demeanor as a happy party guy? I saw an interview with his daughter in which she said that her father was always worried that his RatPack buddies would figure out that he wasn't much of a drinker and that they would tease him, so he learned how to act a little tipsy to keep 'em from giving him a hard time.)

(Don't you love that about him?)

(And by the way, what ever happened to that type of guy? Do we really expect Mr. George Clooney to carry on that suave tradition all by himself?)


I pulled out my Orna Willis cyber class piece called Cirque de Fleur and worked on it diligently over the weekend. It took me a few minutes to get back into the grove of doing the Jessica stitch, but eventually all was well and I was off to the races:

From what Aunt Chrissy tells me, we are expected to get about a foot of snow, so I suppose that means I have to make an emergency run to the Martin's for sustenance. Forget the fact that I have enough food in this house to feed a small army....if I don't go buy milk and bread and an extra can of something for the pantry I'll panic for the next week and a half (and nobody needs to see that).

How's your week going so far?

WHAT'S THAT GLOWING BALL OF FIRE IN THE SKY?

It's right about this time every year that I question the wisdom of living here in Hoosierville. It seems that we go for months and months without seeing the sun, so on days that it makes an appearance we want to run right out to bask in its glory. This, of course, is rather problematic when there are eighty two feet of snow on the ground, but we do what we can to catch a few rays.

I finished the first lesson of the Laura J. Perin cyber class and am almost through the second. At this rate I might actually be on track by the time Lesson Three comes my way!

Thanks to Ms. Ruth Schmuff Her Very Self over there at Bedecked and Beadazzled, I am now ready to start a project that I've had on my back burner for about three years. I've pulled threads for this particular project at least a dozen times, but somehow I just never got it quite right. So...BAM! One pitiful email to Ms. Ruth explaining what it was I wanted to do, and I'm off to the races! I suppose that this is the final confirmation that when it comes to thread and stitch selection, I should just leave it up to the professionals and be done with it. The project is Mr. Tony Minier's Stars for the New Millenium, and if you're a blog reader you already know that several stitchers out there are working on this amazing piece. So I guess this is me...pulling my fat little self right up to the table. Anywhoose....here's the colorway that I'm going to use:

Stewey knows that Spring Break is only a few weeks away, so he's decided to get a good start on his base tan. He's asked to go to the Great Barrier Reef this year, but methinks that's a little too far for a pup of his relative size and age to travel unaccompanied. I'm thinking that a few inches of water in the tub combined with the addition of a rubber duck, and he'll be all set.

I hope you're off to a good start to the weekend and that wherever you are is exactly where you want to be. Stay warm and safe and dry out there, kids...we'll see you on Monday!

POTTY MOUTH

My mom can't come to the blog right now....she's sitting in the corner with a bar of soap in her mouth. This little time out is the result of some pretty bad behavior on her part these last few hours, so rather than put up with it one minute more, I decided to take matters into my own little paws and put a stop to it. Toot sweet.

It all started when she attempted to watch Night at the Museum/Battle of the Smithsonian on the TeeVee at the same time she was supposed to be stitching the borders on her Laura J. Perin cyber class project. I tried to warn her...as a matter of fact, I even said "Mo-ther, why don't you put your stitching down for a few minutes and enjoy the movie and then go back to your stitching when you can give it your full attention."

To which she replied "No, and you can't make me."

So today she's tasting the Irish Spring because she is incapable of counting to 50 while watching Hank Azaria at the same time. (Do you suppose it has something to do with big biceps? The fact didn't escape me that this gentleman has arms the approximate size of Toledo....much like a British chef that we all know about.)

In any event, she had completed all of the foundation stitching on the project, but when she went to put the background in, she discovered that the entire bottom half needed to be frogged back to the stone age. (I am, however, happy to report that she managed to frog all of that stitching without one rip or tear appearing in the canvas.) (Let's just say that it's a good thing that the old lady can't find that bloody seam ripper and move on, shall we?)

So that's the report from Chez Spinster today, my friends. As soon as the timer beeps and Mo-ther is allowed to resume regular programming, I'll make sure she posts a progress pic.

With much love from your pal,
Stewey

WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE IS REAL....

For some goofy reason I can't get that intro out of my head. I think it's from Dinner: Impossible (and yes, I know it's probably from something else too), but all I can hear is that phrase....over and over and over again.

Speaking of my boyfriend, Robert Irvine...I'm going to tell you something that will totally shock you now. Be prepared.

Ready?

No, seriously. Are you really ready?

I taped his new show Restaurant: Impossible and started to watch it over the weekend. About ten minutes into it....get ready for the shock now.....I turned it off!

Y'all know how I love me some Chef Robert Irvine, and y'all know that I am always up for some hunky man-watching any time of the day, but I actually found myself sitting there getting disappointed with my beloved! Disappointed! Even watching his gun show wasn't enough to stun me senseless....what the heck is up with THAT?!

Truth is, I turned it off because Robert is shamefully trying to execute my other beloved's Kitchen Nightmares, and, in my very humble opinion, he's missed the mark entirely. (Oh, my other beloved would be Gordon Ramsey.) (And let's not forget yet another beloved, Anthony Bourdain.) (Oh, wait! Then there's Eric Ripert!) (And.....I can't remember his name! Damnit! The really hunky cute guy that also happens to be a chef! But hunky with an edge...know what I mean?)

Robert...all I want from you is to peer into your baby blues and watch you cook something. And I want you to coo gently to me over the proper way to turn out a folded omelet, or how it's very important not to chop anything while trying to fix your lipstick because God knows the hunky TeeVee chef might be able to see you standing in your kitchen showing off your knife skills for him, even though he's not actually in your kitchen, but rather somewhere in TeeVee Food Land shooting the next episode of a show that you will watch incessantly until your dog makes you delete it from the dvr thingie so that there's room for him to record the latest installment of Masterpiece Theater. Damn dog.

Oh, sorry. Wandered away for a bit on that one, didn't I? Let's chalk it up to antibiotic poisoning and move right along, shall we?

(Besides, I read a comment once from a lady that said she hated my writing style because it was just...too...much, so every now and then I have to go right over the very edge or I risk disappointing her. Also, I might calm down enough that she might decide to come back and read my drivel. So there.)

I finished the stitching on Laura J. Perin's Color Study: One Long Panel, so now it's time to attach the beads. I just can't say enough about the fun I had stitching this one. So much so that I'm thinking about doing it again in a different colorway! Wouldn't this be a gorgeous Christmas piece? Stay tuned.

Next up is Snowflake Serenade by Country Cottage Needleworks. As you can see, I made some pretty good progress while watching a Royal Pains marathon that I had taped on the dvr thingie and had to watch because Stewey wanted me to.....(see above for explanation as to who really controls the recording devices around here.)

And last, but certainly NOT least, is the cyber class that Aunt Chrissy and I are taking from Ms. Laura J. Perin. This one is called Corsage, and I'm afraid that I'm a little behind the rest of the class. We were supposed to start it a week ago Sunday, but I just wasn't quite ready yet. So methinks today will be spent enjoying this one while I get caught up to the rest of the class.

I'm doing mine in the "orange" colorway, and I think I'm going to stitch the center flower using an alternate chart that Laura provides that is closer to a dogwood. As you might have guessed from reading this here blog...I am simply crazy for these flower collages from Ms. P, so the fact that I will have one completed so early in the year has me pulling on the pantyhose for the happy dance already!

I'll leave you with a very warm and heartfelt THANK YOU for all of your kind get well wishes. Apparently, they worked, because I am actually able to sit upright for more than ten minutes at a time today without teeter-tottering to the floor in a messy heap. What can I say about all of my stitchy friends? You all just ROCK my silly little world. MWA!

IT'S NOT EASY BEING ME

January 21, 2011

TO: Company That Made This Year's Flu Shot
FM: The Spinster Stitcher

RE: Effectiveness of said flu shot

Dear sirs:

Seriously?

With best regards,
The Spinster Stitcher


OK, before you tell me that the flu shot will not PREVENT you from getting the flu, it will only LESSEN the flu symptoms, may I just say a big fat PHOOEY TO YOU before you even get started? I. Am. Miserable.

Fortunately for me, I come equipped with my very own Spinster Stitcher FluPalooza 2011 Emergency Kit:
What. You didn't expect me to leave him OUT now, did you? In my very humble (and somewhat twisted opinion), there is absolutely NOTHING that helps ease the suffering like a warm sleeping puppy. (And yes, within two seconds of taking this pic, both the warm sleeping puppy and I were headed to the big girl sleigh bed for some serious afternoon snoozy napping.)

And what would the flu be without all of THIS?:1) A pashmina. Go out and get yourself a real live genuine pashmina that is made from no less than 80% silk and no less than 20% wool that is gathered from the chin of a specific kind of goat. (I'd love to tell you that I splurged on myself with this, but the fact is that my pashmina was a gift from a friend who bought gifts for me that were unlike anything I ever could have imagined and/or afforded to buy for myself). Now take your pashmina and wrap it around you and just feel the comfy love.

2) A great book (hello Steve Martin), and a set of DVDs that you never get tired of watching (Oh, Tony. Wherefore art thou, Tony?).

3) Comfort cosmetics....some Gingerbread man bath bubbles and lotion, Clinique moisture surge, and Lypsyl lip stuff.

4) Tissues. Lots and lots of tissues.

5) Chicken noodle soup. (Duh).

6) Lemon drops, jelly beans, and vitamin C drops.

7) Sport Tea. (I drink this stuff by the GALLONS! and have done so for the last 20 years.)

Lots of stitching has been happening, but I'll show you later....right now I just want to go smack my head on the pavement a few times to see if I can get my wits about me. Stewey sends his love and thanks to y'all, and I second that emotion! I'll be up and back at 'em real soon...I promise!

WE'LL BE BACK AFTER THESE MESSAGES...

My mom can't come to the blog right now. She's down with what we presume to be the flu. I just wanted you to know that I'm taking good care of her and that I safely tucked her into bed right after she raised her fist in the air shouting "Viva La 80's" after reading all of your comments about her unfortunate choice of hair style.

(Worse yet is that I'm pretty sure that I spied a pair of leg warmers on her tree trunks, so God only knows what's next.)

With love from your pal,
Stewey

HERE I AM, JUST ROCKIN' THE 80'S BANGS

When I turned 40, Aunt Chrissy and I took a trip to Turks and Caicos. Since it was the very first time I had ever been on a vacation as a real live adult person, I decided to make hair maintenance easy breezy by practically shaving my head. Yup. I don't know what possessed me, but there I was...flat top and all, looking for all intents and purposes like a sunburned bowling ball.

It's been a few years since that trip (ahem), and my hair has now grown down to my b-u-t-t. I realized this yesterday when I tried to get the elastic band unstuck from my ponytail, and I had to contort myself into a yoga pose to do so.

So I fished around in my bathroom cabinets and found the box of clips and ribbons and bands and such, and lo and behold there were some big rollers. Before I knew what hit me, I popped two of them on top of my head and within an hour or so I had my big ass 80's bangs that only a Jersey girl (or a girl from Lima, Ohio) can fully appreciate. Somehow the phrase "The higher the hair, the closer to heaven" got into my brain, so I teased and teased and sprayed and sprayed and there I was....full on butt-length hair with the sky high super shellacked bangs to boot.

What can I say? I was good looking in the 80's. This works for me.

I only have a few moments to spare before Aunt Chrissy comes to pick me up for some errand running, but I thought I would show you the latest progress on One Long Panel. Please forgive the somewhat wonky picture...I had to unroll the canvas and it's a little wavy gravy.

Only one more section to go, and then it's on to the border and beads! Woo Hoo!

Thanks so much for your comments about Stewey's letter to Martha. In the interests of full disclosure, you should probably know that he writes to her at least once a year or so, but it sure is nice to know that MY fan base (tee hee) is there to support me when he is a disloyal little (@#*&.

Happy Monday! I hope you're off to a good week and that needles everywhere are flying!

AN OPEN LETTER TO MS. MARTHA STEWART, HER VERY SELF FROM MASTER STEWEY ANGUS WILLOWSWAMP, HIS VERY LITTLE SELF

My very dearest Ms. Martha,

By now, I am sure that the world has read of your recent incident involving your lovely little Frenchie and your split lip. I trust that this missive finds you nicely recovered and that you are none the worse for wear? (After reviewing the photographs of your emergency room visit, I noticed that you did indeed have a plastic surgeon available for the sutures, so with great relief I anticipate the total lack of any unsightly scarring.)

In any event, although you were wonderful enough to accept full responsibility for "startling" her, might I suggest that Francesca be put into time out? After all, Martha, it's only a matter of time before she and Sharkey figure out that you are, in fact, one of the strongest advocates for animal wellness, and I see them milking that particular cow all the way to the b-a-n-k. (Besides, don't they already have representation that secures those deals with PetSmart, Macy's, and all and sundry? They'll be fine without you Martha...I promise.)

Now because I know how much you love to have little furry creatures all around you, because I know that you are a fabulous homekeeper, and because my current mo-ther is supremely challenged in the domestic arts area, I'd like to offer my services to you as Chief Pet in Residence. I would be happy to assume this role immediately, provided you can send your people (and your jet, if you please) to pick me up here in this godforsaken place. (Christmas decorations still up, underpants strewn about the closet floor, dust everywhere...you get the idea.) I suspect that Bedford would be much more suitable to my tastes and lifestyle, but I'm also willing to try living at Skylands as well.

I've made this offer to another woman of your stature, but after witnessing the recent events in your neck of the woods, methinks you might be in a more pressing position of having to re-staff the CPinR position. (Besides, Ms. O seems to be very busy with her new network these days, so I am concerned that I might not get the loving attention that I so richly deserve.)

I shall look forward to meeting with you to discuss this matter further. Would it be appropriate for my legal team to draft an amenable agreement for your review?

Thank you for your time today. I do hope that you know how very much I appreciate your kind attention to this appeal.

Most cordially,
Stewey

SNOWBALL!

My mom can't come to the blog right now. She's catching her breath from a rousing game of Snowball (!) that we just finished out in the front yard. Snowball (!) is a game that I invented so that mo-ther might get some fresh air and exercise, and I'm happy to report that she's learning how to play it quite well.

The rules are simple...Mo-ther asks me if I want to go outside to retrieve the mail, and after a few cute wiggles on my part, the collar and leash are attached, the ball is clamped firmly in my little jaw, and out we go.

It starts simply enough. Mo-ther stands in the driveway and tosses the ball into the middle of the snow-covered front yard. Then, rather unexpectedly, I run like a little maniac through the snow (that's over my head, by the way), until I come upon the ball, shake it vigorously for a few seconds, and then bark bark bark bark at the top of my lungs. Mo-ther asks me nicely to bring the ball to her...then she asks not so nicely....and then she huffs and puffs her way through the calf-deep snow to get the damn ball herself.

Then she goes back to the driveway and does it all over again.

She's cute in that way...expecting a different result from the same thing over and over again.

After she's thrown the ball and retrieved the ball several dozen times, she usually realizes that I've already headed back to the house for some hot chocolate and my blanket, and we then go through a rather long lecture series in which she explains the concept of "fetch" to me.

Ahhhh, youth.

I hope that you will love your weekend and that you get to do whatever it is you want to do. I'll be catching up on some movies that I've taped on the DVR device while bitching about the Christmas decorations still being out. Mo-ther, I'm sure, will find something worthwhile to do and will report about it at great length on Monday.

With love from your pal,
Stewey

IT'S THURSDAY? REALLY?

Have you ever had a week in which you become completely befuddled as to what day it is? Welcome to my world. I awoke today and thought about what day it could be for about fifteen minutes before I stumbled out to Ye Olde Desk Calendar to find out it's Thursday. Already. Hmm.

Stewey and I are lost in a good book at the moment...A Novel Bookstore by Laurence Cosse':
This was a Christmas gift from Aunt Chrissy, and despite the fact that I am in no way smart enough to read this book, I am enjoying it immensely. It takes place in France and I'm pretty sure that if I were a better-read person I would "get" all of the references, but as it is I get to feel all shee shee foo foo while butchering the words within.

(What can I say? I'm forty-four years old and had to look up the word arrondissement: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arrondissement).

I decided to pull out One Long Panel last night, and was thrilled to discover that I had enough thread to work on the next section. I had to bench this piece for a while because I've run out of the turquoise ribbon that I'm using, but I figured I could do a little stitching on it while I wait for reinforcements to arrive. This might not seem like a big deal to those of you who aren't nutso, but for me to run out of thread in the midst of a project and NOT drop my proverbial basket is a major accomplishment. Sombody should give me a medal or something.

So I'll stitch as far as I can on this one and will hopefully finish it up within the next week or so, once the new threads arrive in my mailbox. (Note to self...must find mailbox that is buried under eleventy-eight feet of snow.)
Those, my friends are all of the exciting details of a Thursday from lil' ol mwa. I'm planning to clean the house today and to finally do something about Mt. Laundry that has accumulated in the closet, but I'm sure this will pass the moment I get absorbed in all things stitchy on the internets. Alas, it is not to be for me to have a perfectly clean home, organized cabinets, freshly laundered laundry, and a dog who pees outside. Such is the life of a spinster on a Hoosierville Thursday.

THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HMMMM.....

I quit watching the news several months ago in an attempt to stop the whack-a-do conversations I was having with no one in particular about the state of the world and the size of the handbasket we're in, but the recent shooting in Tuscon has been pretty hard to ignore.

(Now please understand that you will have better luck getting details of my last colonoscopy out of me than you will a discussion about politics or religion or sex or money, so if you've come here looking for my opinion about anything related to those subjects, you're out of luck today.)

(But stick around. Who knows what the hell will get in my craw tomorrow or the next day.)

(I am, if nothing else, completely unpredictable in this regard.)

So as I puttered about the house this morning I made the mistake of turning on the TeeVee, and I witnessed two people screaming invectives at one another regarding the level of invective screaming that's going on in this whacky little country of ours. The conversation started out cordially enough, but within fifteen seconds it devolved into a ranting mess of spewing hatred and idocy that made me run for the stitchy basket.

i-ro-ny (i're ne, i er ne) n., pl. -nies {Gr eiron, dissembler in speech} 1 expression in which the intended meaning of the words is the direct opposite of their usual sense 2 an event or result that is the opposite of what is expected


Progress continues on Snowflake Serenade. I feel like I got a fair amount of it stitched last night while watching An Angel At My Table, which is one of my very favorite movies of all time. (I had totally forgotten about it, but there it was on my DVR thingie, just waiting to be watched.)

I finished up the white portion of the snowman and then Stewey and I called it a night.

Today is a little snowy and rather grey, but we're going to take advantage of that by hitting the Happy Chair with Martha's latest issue (which has an ice cream sundae on the cover that makes me want to run right out to buy ice cream), and then some stitching. There will, however, under no circumstances, be any TeeVee news viewed. I promise.

WE'VE GOT FORTY, YES WE DO. WE'VE GOT FORTY, HOW 'BOUT YOU? (*)

(*) This is one of those rare occasions whereby I leave the hyperbole button untouched. Yes, we actually really literally did receive a full forty inches of snow in about fifteen minutes on Saturday. (OK. It took a little longer than fifteen minutes, but you get the idea.)

It's beautiful, it really is. Stewey and I awoke to nature's majesty and decided that we would try to capture it on the digital camera. After several minutes freezing my bazongas off while trying to figure out how to use said digital camera, I gave up and came inside. (Again...I'm relying on you to get the idea here, people, so work with me.)
The best part of the storm is that Aunt Chrissy was tooling around in it almost all day without realizing that a state of emergency had been declared and that she was not supposed to be tooling about in her fancypants little sports car with the wicked new snowtires, but that's another story for another day. Suffice it to say that methinks her phobia of driving in bad weather was fixed toot sweet.

(As for me, I'm just glad that she made it home safely and that I can now stop pacing around the house wondering when she'll call me to tell me that she's home -- warm and safe and dry.)

On the stitchy front, we have a new start! This is Country Cottage Needleworks Snowflake Serenade. I mean, come on. How could I NOT?
I hope that your Monday is off to a good start. Stewey and I are determined to build a snowman today, but it's more likely that we'll just take a nap instead. He's standing in the doorway to the bedroom with his little nightcap on and clutching his blanket. How am I supposed to resist that? Damn dog.

ERRAND PALLOOZA

As you can see from this picture, winter has finally returned to the hinterlands of Hoosierville:
This, and the screaming weatherman prompted me to call Aunt Chrissy in a panic over the lack of provisions here at Chez Spinster, so we decided to make an evening of it.

First up was a trip to see the girls at Magrane Pet Medical Center (waving hi to Miss Lori and Miss Neika!). Both Stewey and Bosco were in desperate need of pedicures, and Stewey wanted to have a discussion with his behaviorist, Miss Neika about potty training, overall behavioral issues, and how he might get me to stop threatening to send him to military school. (Apparently, he feels that the potty issues and behavior problems are on MY side of the equation, so I'm headed off to the self-help section of the Borders momentarily.) Damn dog.

After a stop at the Panera for some sustenance, we hit the Target for toilet paper and laundry soap (I mean, come on....if I'm going to be trapped in a house I might as well get the laundry done), and then it was off to our Martin's for groceries. (Martin's is the local grocery store chain, and we go to the fancypants one that treats us like a couple of rock stars. Could it be because we buy enough food from them to feed a small country? or is it just because we bat our eyelashes at the nice deli guy?).

By the time I fell into the Happy Chair I'm afraid there wasn't enough gas left in the tank to do any stitching, but I do have a little progress to show from Wednesday:

This piece is like a really wonderful box of chocolates...I'm trying to savor every bite of it and make it last as long as possible. The construction of the stitches is fun and very very satisfying, so if you ever get the chance to play around with this type of thing, go for it! You will feel like a freakin' genius! (Trust me...I have to take THAT particular feeling whenever I can get it!)

That's the report from the tundra for today! Stay warm and safe and dry and have a wonderful weekend! Woo Hoo!

GOOD MORNING, STARSHINE?

4:45am
Spinster awakens and tiptoes to the bathroom so as not to disturb Your Highness, who happens to be sleeping smack dab in the middle of the big girl sleigh bed.

5:15am
Spinster returns to the bedroom after sitting in the dry bathtub reading the latest issue of Needlepoint Now. (The lighting is good and won't disturb you-know-who.)

5:30am
Spinster decides to listen to NPR at a volume level low enough to give her a migraine from straining to hear it so as not to awaken...you get the idea.

6:01am
Spinster decides to take herself and a book out to the Happy Chair.

6:02am
Spinster hits the "ON" button on the coffee pot and then immediately has a heart attack when she realizes that the grinder will surely awaken (insert spoiled little selfish dog name here), and she will have hell to pay all day long.

6:05am
Spinster settles into the Happy Chair with hot coffee, a book, and the realization that she will be able to enjoy some peace and quiet all to her very self for the first time in five and a half blissful years of living with Little Lord Fauntleroy.

6:06am
Caterwauling begins from deep under the covers of the big girl sleigh bed as an indication that the King is not amused. Spinster sprints to the side of the bed so that he will not be traumatized for life that he was forced to awaken without the soft cooing of Mommie Dearest and a tummy rub.

6:16am
Spinster mutters to herself in the freezing sleeting pi**ing rain/sleet/snow mixture as Mister FussBudget decides which particular blade of grass he'd like to pee on. After several minutes of careful consideration he pees on the side of the house instead.

6:18am
Spinster stands and gawps in amazement as the freakin brat of a miserable little son of a #*$^@^ stands in the doorway to the bedroom and stomps his feet and declares that it's too early for him to be awake and that he would like his morning Greenie and cookies in the bed, thank you very much, and oh, by the way, it's Thursday today and that means he also wants French press coffee and waffles with syrup and a tiny little pat of butter to be on his breakfast tray, along with the Wall Street Journal and USA Today.

6:20am
Spinster goes to garage to sit in the car.

6:21am
Dog pees on drapes, turns himself around a few times, and promptly falls asleep in the happy chair.

ON THIS EDITION OF WHAT'S IN THE BASKET WEDNESDAY

WARNING: This is a picture-heavy post with lots of craptastic photographs taken by someone who is too lazy to read the instruction manual that came with her spankypants digital camera and who couldn't take a nice clear color-true picture if her life depended on it.

I spent some time up in the studio yesterday afternoon futzing around in Ye Olde Stash, and I came up with a few projects to put into the downstairs stitching basket. (This is a new system for me. I have designated a "downstairs" basket as the one that I need to work out of, as opposed to those days when I want to go upstairs and lose ten hours of my life to needlessly pawing through stash to find something that will eventually ring my bell.) (I did manage to completely purge the studio of its contents that no longer interests me, and we now have an "Archived" section of Chez Spinster that houses all of the crap that I don't want to be bothered with at the moment, but just can't bring myself to throw away.)

(My goodness! Could these sentences BE any longer? Perhaps decaf might be in order...)

Here are the results of the First Official Organizing Session Of 2011:

1) Plum Street Samplers: Dust of Snow
This was Christmas-gifted to me by Aunt Chrissy and I luerve it with all of my pitiful little heart.



2) Shepherd's Bush: Come Tarry
I've lusted after this one for quite some time and decided that this was the year to do it!

3) Bent Creek: Live, Laugh, Love - The Big Zipper

What can I say? I'm ashamed that this one has been languishing in the WIP pile.

4) The Prairie Schooler: ABC's

OK, so I jumped onto the bandwagon with everybody stitching this on one biga** piece of linen.

5) Maggie: Geometric

Considering that this has been in the works since 2004, methinks it's time to finish it.

6) Orna Willis: Cirque de Fleur

I missed graduation from this cyberclass. Time to get back to it!

7) Maggie: Springtide

What is it with me and the Maggie canvases?

8) Cooper Oaks: Floral

I've agonized over this one long enough. Stitch it, already!

Number 9) is the Laura J. Perin: Color Study: One Long Panel piece that's next to the Happy Chair (I won't torture you with yet another crappy picture). Hey! Did you notice that FIVE of these are WIP'S!? That would mean that I'm in some kind of zen-like place that is telling me to finish what I've started, with just a smidgen of new stuff thrown in for good measure and to keep me motivated. Who KNEW that this would be the year of finally getting my proverbial act together?!

Uh-oh! I've just realized that I only need two more projects to hit the magic number 11 for the year 2011. Do you think I'll be smart enough to go upstairs and pull two small ornaments to add to the pile so that I can achieve 11ness perfectitude in all its glory, or will I be an eeeejit and pull two more big projects that I have no hope of completing by the end of the year?

Stay tuned.....

A TUESDAY REPORT FROM MASTER STEWEY ANGUS WILLOWSWAMP, HIS VERY LITTLE SELF

My mom can't come to the blog right now. She's in the closet, wondering why all of her clothings have suddenly become two sizes smaller than they were pre-holiday. (Do you want to tell her, or shall I?)

I'm afraid that there's not much to report today, especially since we're at the four day mark of the new year and my stupid mo-ther has yet to enact any of the life improvement ideas that she had for making this year the best ever. There has been no dieting, no homekeeping, no organic food buying, and not one bit of organized stitching activity. In short, 2001 seems to be on the same unproductive and stupefying path as 2010.

She has, however, completed another section of Stitchy Aunt Laura's Color Study: One Long Panel, and I have to say that she seems to be loving every moment of this one. The stitches are interesting and complex (*) and the layered effect of both smooth and sparkly threads has mo-ther transfixed beneath her stitchy lamp for hours and hours at a time. (This is a good thing.)

Snow is spitting from the sky and I am hoping that we will get some accumulation soon. It just doesn't seem like January when you can see the grass.

I hope that this finds you well and that your little corner of the world is warm and safe and dry. Thanks for all of your lovely and insightful comments...please do come again soon!

With love from your pal,
Stewey

* Mo-ther wanted me to tell you that complex doesn't mean impossible. The chart and instructions are wonderful, so even if you're a beginner (or a nincompoop like Mo-ther), you will be able to stitch this without one bit of trouble.

WELL CHE-LOW 2011!

As much as I would love to tell you that Aunt Chrissy and I are just returning from some mad crazy trip around the world to celebrate the issuing in of the New Year, the truth of the matter is that we were very sedate and boring this year. We're boring and sedate EVERY year, but now we add the bonus old lady headache that comes from drinking three sips of champagne and staying up past 8:30 on a school night. Oey.

(And before you get all offended at my characterization of the headache, may I just point out that I've worked very hard to get to this dilapidated stage of life, so if I want to embrace my old ladyhood, then you should let me do so without comment. Ahem.)

You would think that I would have three new starts to show you, seeing how this is the third day of the year and all and most everybody on the stitchy planet joined the Crazy January Challenge way back in 2010, but alas, it is not to be. Instead, I have only one new start to show....it's Color Study: One Long Panel by Miss Laura J. Perin Her Very Self. This was a Christmas gift from Aunt Chrissy to lil' ole me, so I decided that it would be just perfect to start on January 1st. (Note to Miss Laura: Avert your eyes! I started this at the bottom and did so without heeding your very polite warning to NOT start this at the bottom! I tried, I really did, but I have this weird thing about building from the bottom up instead of the top down, so here I am at the bottom of the design. I do promise, though, that when it comes time to stitch that border that I will be a good little stitcher and will follow your directions PRECISELY and won't fly in the face of your expertise ever again.)

Oh, sorry. You're still here, arent' you? Well, what I was saying is that if you stitch this piece, you must be very careful to do exactly as the DESIGNER tells you because the border is built in such a way that you must start from the top. And the designer is very helpful in that she gives you two different places from which you may start this piece, but I am a boob and had to start it at the bottom. So do what she tells you. K?

Stewey and Bosco returned from their Vegas trip moments ago smelling of expensive perfume and cheap wine. Methinks their luck ran out at the tables by about Saturday, so they ended up doing God knows what with God knows who for the remainer of the trip. All I know is that every time I ask Stewey if he had a good time, he raises his little paw and says "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, Mo-ther" and then he replaces the cool compress on his head and burrows back under the blankets. Is it really possible for a nine pound Jack to have a hangover?

Today the sun is shining, which means that it's time to consider taking down the Christmas decorations. Aunt Chrissy wants to get her outside decs down sooner rather than later, but I'm inclined to leave mine alone until the Spring thaw. Would that be so wrong?

Happy New Year! Here's hoping that we're off to a good start!