THURSDAY

I'm up at the crack 'o dawn again today. Why....I have absolutely no idea. My eyes opened and that was the end of it. Time to get up.

No stitching to report, I'm afraid. I had a bit of a mini crash at the very end of treatment and came home and drooled into my t-shirt for the remainder of the evening. I'm not even sure what time I stumbled into the big girl sleigh bed, but it must have been early enough to get me up with the chickens.

Two video appointments today: one with my family doc (just a check in) and one with Dr Melfi (the normal head shrinking). My only other agenda is to sort the menu plan, grocery list, fridge, and freezer and get us back on track in the healthy eating department. 

So that's it for this particular Thursday in Hoosierville. What's going on in your little corner of the world? Come tell me all about it!

I SWEAR YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP

Five seconds after I posted here, Dearies, I checked my bank accounts (as I do every morning), and it looks like somebody got ahold of my account last night and went on an amazon shopping spree. I was able to shut the account down, but getting the charges disputed and credited is going to take some doing...printing, scanning, filling out forms, etc.

Perhaps I should have just stayed in bed with the covers pulled over my head another week or two.

Phooey.

WEDNESDAY

ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE

The Challenge Accepted campaign is a way for women to support one another and celebrate themselves. The challenge consists of women posting a black and white picture of themselves, using the hashtag #WomenSupportingWomen and including a thank you to the woman who nominated them.

Women are then nominating one woman (or more) privately in their direct messages to post their own black and white selfie, with a supporting comment or two about the importance of female friendships and sisterhood.

I was nominated by my cousin, Stacy Campo. I challenge you...my Spinster Stitcher family, because this thing of ours is a soft place to fall in a world full of hard things. I am strong and happy and wanting to be better and do better every day because of you. Thank you!

THANK YOU DEARIES

When I wanted to do this:

You surrounded me with love and reminded me who I am.

That's my dad's thumbprint and a Notre Dame pendant that my JB gave me many years ago. They were with me last Thursday.

And so were my mom and dad:

And Cheryl:

And my heart:

Kindness is the only thing that has allowed me to be standing.

If what they say in Rent is true and we should measure our life in love, then mine is very full indeed.

A thousand thank yous for the love, kindness, generosity, and support. I am, as always, completely gobsmacked and enormously grateful the you are my family.

AND THEN I REMEMBERED WHOSE DAUGHTER I AM

There wasn't much left.

Four pieces of needlepoint and about a dozen other framed pictures.

My blessing came in the form of Rich and Cheryl carefully taking the things from my shaking hands and putting them in my car.

I spoke two words.

How much?

"Just pay me what you want", Kristine said.

And so I did.

I paid her nothing, and I got in my car and I drove away.

When I got home, I made a $500 donation to St Margaret's House in South Bend. A legitimate women's charity.

"In memory of Bob and Sig Rich and in gratitude for their legacy."

DEAR FRIENDS

I'm going to take a little break, Dearies.

Despite a lot of evidence to the contrary, I loathe drama. I try as hard as I possibly can to live a small, quiet, happy life. I try to be kind to others, to keep my mouth shut whenever possible, and to just live in a way that honors the two people who raised me to know better and to do better.

But there are times when even I can't figure out what more I could lose in this life and still remain standing. I'm tapped out. Done. Pockets empty in the physical, mental, and emotional departments, and it's time to take minute to re-gather my wits.

It is no secret that I have more blessings and things to be grateful for than anybody. And I AM grateful and recognize this every moment of every day. I do not pretend for one minute that this life of mine is not completely charmed. It is, and I acknowledge that.

But I can still feel crushed every now and then when somebody does something awful to me.

Right?

My sister imploded her life and mine along with it. Part of this implosion was to take the entire contents of her house (which was basically everything out of Mom and Dad's house in Phoenix) and throw it in a warehouse owned by Jeff Kuroski.

Jeff Kuroski is a bad guy.  Period. Full stop. I have spent the better part of thirty years trying to tell people that "he's really not that bad" because he was my friend and that's what friends do. I worked for him for more years than I care to admit, and I am now very comfortable to say openly and publicly that this man abused me physically, mentally, and emotionally for the entire duration of that relationship. He is a sadist. He is a malignant narcissist. He is a liar, a cheater, a manipulator, and a user.

I don't know the details of what happened for my sister to trust him, but suffice it to say that her "stuff" was sent to his warehouse, and she had a relationship with Jeff and his family for a brief time when she realized that I wasn't going to be of any value to her anymore.

What did this "stuff" include? Imagine the entire contents of your childhood put into a box. Wedding photos, baby pictures, china patterns, flatware, furniture, handmade quilts....all of the crap that was home.

And now imagine that your mom was an avid needlepointer, and that among this "stuff" were dozens of her pieces. Dozens. Some standing as tall as four feet high. Others stitched specifically for each of us....like a girl reading a book for me and a girl in a pink dress for Chrissy.

When my sister left, I contacted Jeff and asked if I could come to his warehouse to retrieve my mom and dad's things. Things that have absolutely no value to anybody, but that were irreplaceable to me. His reply? "They're not mine to give you."

So I offered to pay for them.

Again..."not mine to sell you".

Flash forward to last night. I broke my rule and decided to cruise around Facebook. This is what knocked the breath out of me:

Yup. You guessed it.  Mom's needlepoint sitting in a front yard being sold in a garage sale.

The seller is Kristine Kuroski, Jeff's daughter. Kristine is also a pretty awful person. She runs scams, has a fake charity, and presents herself as a minister catering to abused women.

She is nothing but a con artist.

On Thursday at 7:40 in the morning, I will have twenty minutes to PURCHASE anything that is left from my mom and dad's things. I've been told that there's not much left, but that I'm free to PURCHASE whatever I want.

I don't have words at the moment to tell you how completely gutted I am, Friends. Feeling like a victim does not suit me, but I honestly cannot fathom what else can be taken from me, I lost my parents, my sister, Stewey, my home, my health, and my freedom and still tried to carry on with some semblance of grace and hope.

Now, though?  I'm just bitter and sad.

Buzzy and I are going to do this treatment today and tomorrow I will go to the Grotto for my dad's birthday and I'll ask for peace. In the meantime, though, I think I just need to go quiet for a bit and re-group.

Thank you for understanding, and thank you for letting me get this out. I'm sure that there will be plenty of you who think me petty for revealing their names, but there comes a point when even I have to learn to punch back.

Be safe and happy and healthy.

Coni

OPERATION STARTING OVER

Today's post treatment weight: 113.9kg

IU transplant weight: 112kg *

Like the rest of the universe, I'm afraid that the whole virus thing gave me an excuse to lose focus. I don't know why, exactly, since my life has not changed one little bit (with the exception of wearing a mask), so I have no excuse.

But I am nipping this little backslide in the bud before it gets too far out of control.

So back to reporting my progress to you on Friday afternoons, Dearies. Don't you feel good that you have the ability to keep me accountable? You would think getting a kidney would be reason enough to stop shoving food into my big fat face, but nope...I don't want to disappoint my Dearies!

Back to watching it!

* Yes, I am over the weight limit, but will not be removed from the list as long as I get this moving in the right direction. 

FRIDAY

WELL...WE'RE THREE FOR THREE

Heidy Ho, Dearies.

I am presently enjoying migraine number three today. I really do think they are sinus/weather/menopause/stress/dialysis related, so there's not a lot to be done other than Tylenol and a slow quiet prayer for unconsciousness.

Today started slowly, with a video chat with Dr Melfi and a lovely toasted roll and a lemonade smoothie. I am still pouring the Costco lemonade into the blender with some frozen blueberries each day, and thanks to a recent delivery (of about six minutes ago), there's a fresh batch of rolls and another bag of frozen fruit to open tomorrow.

(My sister used to call them "my obsessions", Stewey used to refer to them as "Mo-ther's crackpot fixations", but I'd like to think of them as "comfortable routines" that make life easier for me. And if the worst thing you can say about me is that I like the Costco Instacart service, then so be it.)

On the stitchy front, I am still enjoying the patriotic canvas piece. I did manage to switch one of the threads in a complete stroke of brilliance (if I may say so). I was using DMC Light Effects for a little sparkle, but that thread and I just Do. Not. Get. Along.

At. All.

So I fished through the cube room studio and discovered a perfect Silk Lame' Braid instead:

It's coming along very nicely, I think, and will remain on the ottoman for the foreseeable future:

I spied the next happy thing on a fellow stitcher's Insta, and she was kind enough to point me in a direction, This is actually a quilt planning board, but it makes for the perfect parking space for threads in use and whatnot:

I got mine from the Fat Quarter Shop and paid $12 for it, but this would be very easy to construct for you crafty types. For me, though, it was worth the $12 to avoid hot gluing my fingers together.

The Mira Elia is really calling to me, but I am waiting for fabric to ship. I selected a lovely Picture This Plus purple color, but I don't think it's heading this way until the end of the month.

Patience, they say, is a virtue.

OK...I'm off like a herd of turtles to the big girl sleigh bed for a Thursday afternoon nap. My Book of the Month box arrived with a good one inside...Lillian Boxfish Takes a Walk. How could you not love a book with that title?

TEEHEEHEEHEEHEE

Just when I swear I am going to stop looking at the Facebook....thank you to Sheryl Wilson for posting this!!



Dear Diary 2020 Edition,

In ❄️ January, 🔥 Australia caught on fire. I don’t even know if that fire was put out, because we straight up almost went to war with Iran 🇮🇷 . We might actually still be almost at war with them 🤔. I don’t know, because 👩 Jen Aniston and 👨🏻 Brad Pitt spoke to one another at an awards 🏆 show and everyone flipped the crap out 😲, but then there was this thing happening in 🦇 🇨🇳 China, then 👑 Prince Harry and Megan ✌🏼 peaced out of the Royal family, and there was the whole impeachment trial 👩‍⚖️ , and then corona virus 🦠 showed up in the US ✔️“officially,” but then 🏀 Kobe died 😭and UK 🇬🇧 peaced out of the European Union.

In February, 🌽 Iowa crapped 💩 itself with the caucus results and the president was acquitted and the 👩🏼‍💼Speaker of the House took ten. Whole. years. to rip up a speech , but then The👨‍🔬 🌎WHO decided to give this virus a name COVID-19, which confused 🤔some really important people 👔 in charge of, like, our lives, into thinking there were 18 other versions before it, but then Harvey Weinstein was found guilty👨🏻‍⚖️, and 🇺🇸 Americans started asking if Corona beer 🍺 was safe to drink🤦🏻‍♀️, and everyone on Facebook became a doctor 👨‍⚕️ who just knew the 🤒flu like killed way more people than COVID 1 through 18.

In March, stuff hit the fan👿. Warren dropped out of the presidential race and Sanders was like Bernie or bust 💥, but then Italy 🇮🇹 shut its whole country down 🚷, and then COVID Not 1 through 18 officially become what everyone already realized, a 😱pandemic and then a nationwide state of emergency 🆘was declared in US 🇺🇸 , but it didn’t really change anything, so everyone was confused or thought it was still just a flu 💁🏻‍♀️, but then COVID Not 18 was like ya’ll not taking me seriously? 💡 I’m gonna infect the one celebrity everyone loves and totally infected Tom Hanks👨🏻, get y’all to close all of the schools so y’all can 🙏🏼 appreciate teachers 👩‍🏫 for once (because you can’t teach them anything other than how to use a touch screen🤦🏻‍♀️ ) close down all of salons so you can’t get your 💇‍♂️ hair or your nails done💅 , everyone had to work from home and attend Zoom meetings in their underwear. The 📉 DOW took a crap 💩 on itself, and most of us still don’t understand why the stock market is so important or even a thing 🤔 (I still don’t), We were then all introduced to 🐅 Tiger King and the ONE thing we can all agree on this year , 👍🏼Carol totally killed her husband⚰️ ..... whacked him! And then Netflix was like you’re welcome, and we all realized there was no way we were washing our hands enough in the first place because all of our hands are now dry and gross and were all searching for lotion now.

In 🌧 April, Bernie finally busted✌🏼 himself out of the presidential race 🏃 , but then NYC 🗽became the set of The Walking Dead 💀 and we learned that no one has face masks 😷, ventilators, or toilet paper, or THE FREAKING SWIFFER WET JET LIQUID , and by now our 🦁outgrowth is showing, so there’s a shortage on 📦 box hair dye and all of our hair dressers are like , 😱 NO DONT DO IT!!! But, then Kim Jong-Un died, but then he came back to life … or did he? Who knows, because then the Pentagon released 🎥 videos of UFOs and nobody cared, and we were like man, it’s only April….

In 💐 May, the biblical end times kicked off , historical locust swarms, we learned of murder hornets 🐝 and realized that 2020 was the start of the Hunger Games🙈 however people forgot to let us know. people legit started to protest lockdown measures with 🔫 AR-15s, 🏀⚾️sports events were cancelled everywhere. But then people all over America finally reached a breaking point with race issues and violence. There were 🗣protests in every city🌃 ,which was confusing to some of us because people were definitely gathering in 👫crowds of more than 🖐🏼🤚🏼10 and for sure closer than 6 foot away ⬅️➡️from each other . Those people must have forgotten about the 😖pandemic called COVID Not One Through 18. Media 📺 🗞 struggled with how to 🤬focus on two important things at once, people in general struggle to focus on more than one important thing. A dead whale 🐋 was found in the middle of the Amazon rain forest 🌳 after monkeys 🐒 stole COVID 1 Through 19 from a lab 🔬 and ran off with them, and either in May or April (no one is keeping track of time now) that a giant asteroid ☄️ narrowly missed the Earth🌍.

In ☀️ June, science and common sense just got thrown 🤾🏼 straight out the window and somehow 😷 wearing masks became a 🏛political thing, but then everyone sort of remembered there was a pandemic, but then decided that not wearing a mask was somehow a ✝️God given right (still haven't found that part in the bible or even in the constitution). then 👨‍🔬scientists announced they found a mysterious undiscovered mass at the center of the earth, and everyone was like 🙅🏽‍♂️🙅🏻‍♀️🚧DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH IT, but then everyone took a pause to realize that people actually believed Gone With The Wind 💨 was like non-fiction, but then it was also announced that there is a strange 🛰radio signal coming from somewhere in the universe 🌌 that repeats itself every so many days 🗓 , and everyone was like 👽 DON’T YOU DARE ATTEMPT TO COMMUNICATE WITH IT‼️🚫 but then America reopened 🙌🏼from the shut down that actually wasn’t even a shut down, and so far, things have gone spectacularly .... not that great 👎🏼. All of the Karen’s came out at once, and people started tearing down 🔨 statues. Everyone is on Facebook arguing 🤼‍♀️ that masks kill because no one knows how breathing works 👃🏼, but then Florida 🏖 was like hold my beer 🍺 and let me show you how we’re number one 🥇 in all things, including new Not Corona Beer Coronavirus. Trump 👱🏻‍♂️decides now is a good time to ask the Supreme Court 🏛 to shut down ❌Obama Care because what better time to do so than in the middle of a pandemic 💁🏻‍♀️ , but then we learned there was a massive dust cloud ☁️ coming straight at us 📍from the Sahara Desert 🐫 , which is totally normal, but this is 2020, so the 👻 ghost mummy thing is most likely in that dust cloud. We then 📚 learned of meth-gators 🐊 , and I'm like that is so not on my flipping 2020 Bingo card 😡 can we use it as the free space?? 🤷🏻 Then we learned that the Congo's worst ever Ebola 🚨 outbreak is over 😓, and we were all like, there was an Ebola outbreak that was the worse ever? 👀 ....... and don’t forget we just discovered FLYING SNAKES! 🐍, seriously! FLYING SNAKES!!!!

So here comes July…. at this point we are over it , just tell us what’s next .... 👽 Aliens? 🔱Zeus? ☄️ Asteroids? Artificial Intelligence becomes self aware? Can it just be something cool 😎 or fun for once? Maybe even a good laugh , like hahaha 😂 April Fools! We all actually wouldn't mind that joke at this point.

I have no idea who wrote this.

Also, why didn't I know about the whale in the Amazon? Or a few other things because I just can’t keep up anymore!

But I’m sharing it because as long as we make it through 2020, I really want this to pop back up in the memories a few years from now.

OH FOR PITY'S SAKE....

On Sunday I threw my back out trying to shave my legs in the shower, and last night went to bed at 9:00 with another migraine.

Please bear with me, Dearies.  Methinks a cool dark room and an ice pack are going to be the only thing I can manage today.

Talk amongst yourselves...back in a flash.

IT'S FROM THE COSTCO, DEARIES...

The lemonade for the slushie was straight out of a big plastic bottle from the Costco.  I thought lemonade would be refreshing, and instead of making a pitcher of it like a normal person I ordered it for delivery and ended up with two ginormous jugs of it.

Truth be told...you could use any lemon flavored liquid. Next time I might try Crystal Light to save some calories.

SCENES FROM A SPINSTER WEEKEND...

New discovery. Lemonade, watermelon, and frozen blueberries in the blender. Delicious!

Samurai sudoku. I can't get the hang out of solving even the easiest ones!

Stewey supervising the basket of wintergreen Life savers:

I wanted to eat ice cream, but did my nails instead:

A little more progress on patriotic states:

Breakfast of champions:

A nice long snoozy nap with a book:

FRIDAY...

     Happy Weekend, Dearies!

Patriotic Square States

Stickideen Von Der Wiehenburg

July/Aug 2020 Needlepoint Now

THURSDAY...

JB Magoo is home and life has returned to Idiot Spinster With Her First Boyfriend at 54 Years Of Age.

(They really should make pills...and an instruction manual tor this).

Progress continues on Patriotic Squares:

I hope to play more with it today while the laundry sploshes and I listen to the children play in the pool.

(No pool for me yet this year, Dearies. In addition to it being full of people, I just don't feel ready yet).

(And as Dr Melfi would tell me...that's OK).

The week has been out of kilter since I lost Monday to that migraine, but hopefully I can get back into a groove this afternoon and tonight. We're having salmon and chopped salad for dinner, and I will plan a healthy menu for the weekend and life will be swell.

Come tell me all about life in your corner of the world. Here's hoping that it's happy and healthy and everything you want it to be!

HAVING THE MONDAYEST WEDNESDAY EVER

I swear, I have no clue what day it is, but I'm wearing pants and am where I'm supposed to be, so it's all good, Dearies.

It's all good.

SO MUCH FOR A PRODUCTIVE SPINSTERCATION...

My Jersey Boy comes home tomorrow, and as much as I am excited to see him again, I am a bit miffed that the last couple of weeks were not exactly fulfilling in the Getting Things Done department.

My menu plan and grocery shopping went ka-blooey the minute my grocery store was unable to provide me with salad bags.

I ordered a cheeseburger instead.

Then, my good intentions of making a big fruit salad went awry when I realized that my fridge decided to freeze everything in the fruit drawer.

So I had a burrito.

But the biggest fail of them all was the long list of projects that I set out to accomplish in each room. You know, things like re-organizing the cube room studio and cleaning and re-painting the walls.

Nope.

Instead, I got a vicious bloody migraine on Sunday night that lasted until this morning. I didn't make it out of bed yesterday, which means I missed dialysis, which means I blew another thing on my to do list, which was to make it to every treatment with a smile and cheery disposition.

Ugh.

The pool has been occupied by enough people to fill it up, it is hot, humid, and steamy out there in Hoosierville, and I am out of Game of Thrones episodes to binge, since I finished re-watching the series on Friday while eating my cheeseburger (see above).

Damn, drat, and phooey.

On the positive side, I did manage to keep my nails Pepto pink, I changed and washed all of the bedding, and I started the patriotic canvaswork piece and am having a lot of fun with it. The plants outside didn't blow away during Saturday's storm, the freezer is empty enough to hold all of the Atlantic City Italian bread Rich will bring with, and I discovered enough Tylenol in the pill basket to last us through the apocalypse.

So I guess not all bad....just...unexpected.

Happy Tuesday, Dearies! I hope your corner of the world is safe and happy today. What's blowing your skirt up?

SCENES FROM THE WEEKEND

I"M SO GLAD I WAS AWAKE TO HEAR THIS...

On Wednesday when I was looking at the Facebook, I came across a post from an assisted living facility in North Carolina that was looking for pen pals for its residents.

(I had decided that I was going to give up looking at the Facebook because all I want to see is pretty stitching and happy things, but it seems like it's full of mean girls and curmudgeons lately.)

Anywhoose...the residents were pictured with big signs that indicated their likes/interests, and another big sign that said "Will you be my pen pal?"

I promised myself that I would do this, since sending and receiving mail and sharing the stories of our lives seems like a lovely thing to do.

Last night as I tossed and turned, I listened to the BBC on the radio,and guess what?

The director of the assisted living facility company was interviewed, and she reported that over 15,000 letters and cards and packages have been received from this posting, and that volunteers were busy sorting and preparing them for all of the residents in her system...a total of 900 people!

And! In a very interesting side note....NOT ONE of the residents in her system has tested positive for the coronavirus!

Maybe love really can cure this thing after all!

I'M REALLY OVER ALL OF THIS SPAM

Especially the one about selling kidneys.

Really?

Go spam somebody else, please. I'm tired of having to hit the delete button.

FUTZINGDAY HERE IN HOOSIERVILLE...

Hi, Dearies!

Well, here we are on another Futzingday. I'm not going to lie...I'm dragging today! At first I thought it was the fact that I didn't sleep well last night, but as soon as I stepped out into the steam bath I changed my mind and decided it has to be the hot and humid weather.

I feel like I made good progress on Hoity Toity, but looking at the picture I'm not too sure:

 I brought my stitchy bag to the d-chair to see if I can stitch with a mask on. I promise to take it slow and steady and not get frustrated (she says optimistically).

You know how I was contemplating starting something new but couldn't think of what that something new might be?  Well, yesterday I opened the new Needlepoint Now and....woohoo!....look what I found!

I've done several of her pieces before and know how much fun they are, so I am very prancypants today thinking about getting this one started!

***The designer is: Stickideen von der Wiehenburg***

(This is counted canvas work, and will be done on 18ct mono canvas with DMC threads. It could also be stitched on congress cloth or evenweave using any threads your heart desires. The graphs are very clear and easy to follow, and despite looking complicated, this is a lot of fun and very very easy to do!)

Today will be a grocery delivery. All good things, I promise. I have been very good with a smoothie in the morning and a nice salad in the evening with grilled chicken, and last night I made a lovely little tortellini salad with cucumbers, tomatoes, onions, feta, and a light balsamic dressing. I'm going to make myself a good steak on Saturday and hopefully have salmon or shrimp tomorrow.

So that's all of the news from Spinsterville on a summer Wednesday. Cool, quiet, and behaving myself, thankyouverymuch.

How about you?