Sep 7, 2011

GOOD GRIEF! IT'S WEDNESDAY AND SHE'S STILL BLATHERING! ***EDITED****

Forgive me, please.  As you know by now, I am a bear of very little brain, so once it fills up with a bunch of random crap, I need to empty it a little so that there might be room for new stuff to come in. 

(I like to tell people that I operate on the Kelly Bundy Method -- for every new thing that comes in, one old thing has to go out.)

(And as much as I would love to take credit for that, I can't.  I've never seen Married With Children and haven't one clue as to who exactly Kelly Bundy is.  I learned of the Kelly Bundy Method from my Jersey Boy Rich when he became completely exasperated with me and my...see bear of tiny little brain above.)

So here's what's in there today:

STITCH MOBILE:  Aunt Chrissy and I have this crazypants idea. (OK, if you must know, Aunt Chrissy doesn't have this idea at all actually.  I just always think that if I throw her into the mix it lends instant credibility.)  We want to buy an RV/bus (from one of the manufacturers right here in Elkhart, Hoosierville to help the economy, thank you very much), and we want to trick this thing out so that it's a mobile needlework shop.  We were thinking that we could drive it all around the country and go to places that don't have a LNS and that we could say "Hey...(insert place here that doesn't have a LNS)! We're coming your way and will be in a Wal-Mart parking lot near you very soon!"  And so that we wouldn't be competing with shops in that region, we could make sure that we load up the RV/bus with stuff from their very own shop....kind of like "We know you couldn't go to see them, so we thought we'd bring them to see you."

I know what you're thinking.  How the hell are we: a) going to live in said RV/bus; b) when can you expect the first bitchy post from Stewey as to the sub-par accommodations; and c) where will we find a boat big enough to sail it to New Zealand once we've hit all of the hot spots here in the U.S.?

Details are being worked out.  Stay tuned.

(Oh, and P.S...I, for one, think that we should have a thingie on the top of the RV/bus that will project a signal up into the sky.  You know.  Kind of like the bat signal.  But with prettier colors.)

THE RED "CROSS": This idea is actually something that I swear to all that is holy that I am going to do.  The problem is that Aunt Chrissy thinks there might be a HUGE problem with the name.  Here's the gist:  When a disaster strikes someplace in the world, there are organizations that show up to help the victims. (Like the Red Cross).  They help with food and clothing and shelter and whatnot, but I would imagine that nobody is there to help with stitching supplies.  So I was thinking...what if we started a charity that would help a stitcher who has lost everything to re-build his/her stash?  What if you could call this charity up and say "I've lost everything" and within a day or so there would be a lovely package that would have a few nice little things to get you started and then within a month or so you'd get a much larger package that would help you get back on your stitchy feet?  Every single one of us stitches to relax, right?  So why not provide a little bit of comfort to somebody who is stuck in a hotel room or a trailer or a temporary shelter.  Besides...it would be a very small yet personal way to let somebody know that the stitchy world cares.

I like the name the Red "Cross", but instead of writing the word "cross", what if you turned it on its side so that it looked like....The Red X....as in CROSS....as in stitch?

Ah, philanthropy.  Thy name is...well, in this case....problematic.

AN ONLINE TALK SHOW: This one has me the most twisted in knots.  Primarily because it would involve appearing on camera, and we all know how much I just adore having my photograph or likeness made for the world to see. (What can I say? I have issues.  Clearly.  I do.)  I think it would be completely hilarious to have a talk show with Aunt Chrissy and I up in the studio doing what we do.  We could interview guests via Skype and we could demonstrate stuff and review new things and report stitchy news.  Wouldn't that be a complete hoot?

Yes.  I know what you're thinking.  This is a good ideal only until the Stitchy Police come along and shut us right down for being us.  I can imagine the hate mail now...."You two should have your Ginghers taken away"...."Where in God's name did you get the idea that you knew anything about stitching?"...."You're doing it all wrong"....."Would a little make-up have KILLED you?"

Maybe we better think this one through more.

Finally, I have always wanted to host a STITCHING RETREAT, but I'm afraid that nobody would come to it.  Every time I think about how much fun it would be, I start to shudder at the vision of me standing in the Residence Inn by Marriott meeting room with forty-two empty chairs and a vat of diet Coke.  OMG, how embarrassing.  But if a retreat sounds like something y'all would be interested in, let me know just how over the top you would want it to be and I'll call out the dancing men.

(Oh wait.  That's a different kind of retreat.)

So that's what is rattling around in my head today as I gaze up into a gorgeous blue sky and wish I could go sit under a tree and read a book. (Can't, thanks.  Trees have bugs in them that invariably fall on my head and then I'm caught in public furiously swatting my brains out while shouting "I HATE FREAKIN' NATURE!" and I can never go to that park again.  Or college campus.)

What's in your brain today?

***AAAACCCCKKKK!!!!***** I forgot the most important thing that is rattling around...a GINGHER DESIGNER SERIES SCISSORS FAN SITE!  Seriously, people.  Don't you think we need a place where we can go find out about the new styles coming out, etc?  As it is, I rely on all of yous to give me a heads up and then Aunt Chrissy bee-lines it over to the JoAnns with coupons to see if she can score a couple of pairs.  And if we hear of ones being released to LNSs we badger them until they add us to their lists....oey!

73 comments:

  1. Stitching Mobile: We have a mobile art shop in the UK called ArtVanGoch :-) If it works for art supplies, why not stitching supplies.

    The Red Cross: lovely idea, you just need a new name and I'm sure one of your readers will supply the perfect name.

    Online Talk Show: Make Stewey the front man, how can it fail?

    Stitch Retreat: Take Stewey along and they wil come!

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  2. I think those are all great ideas! I'd come to a stitching retreat, or watch your talk show. Or laugh along with Stewey as you make your funny way across the country. Sorry NZ and Aussie!

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  3. Give me the time and the place for the Spinster Stitcher Retreat and I'll book the plane tickets....

    Alison
    Guildford, UK

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  4. Such super ideas - I love the idea of a stitching RV - and a talk show.. what a hoot!! The idea of a retreat... if I could get it together I would come!!

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  5. i think they are great ideas! they should def be put into action! :D

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  6. Oohhhhh, Stitchy Retreat! Count me in.
    GeeBee

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  7. A stitching retreat...count me in!!! All I need to do is pack a bag and I'd be there as fast as my four wheels could haul me. I think that would be a blast. Love the idea. The RV would be cool too!

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  8. Stitch retreat please!!!!

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  9. love your idea of the "red X". If you held a retreat I wouldn't be able to come but maybe you could figure out a way for a mobile retreat!

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  10. I love all your ideas. Always do. What about the Ruby X rather than the Red X. You always make me happy. Where should I book the room for the retreat.

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  11. Somehow I think when AC hears of the RV idea, she'll have Stewey go get the dart gun.

    The online stitchy talkshow, knitter's have them, they are called podcasts and are really quite popular. Except, you would have to show your face on camera.

    The charity for stitchers is a lovely idea.

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  14. Hilarious! You brought me my best laugh of the day so far. Actually, I like the idea of the mobile stitching shop... :) I'll be happy to see you arrive in our neck of the woods.

    Also, who wouldn't want to skype with you? I would~ :)

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  15. Ugh! Blogger kept saying I used the wrong code and repeated my comment three times.

    Please delete my deletes, they were just repeats.

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  16. A BIG WHOPPING YES to everything, especially the RETREAT! Just let me know when and where!

    Us stitchers can never have too many retreats or too many shops (whether mobile or brick-mortar type)!!

    I would LOVE the Skype-type of stitching show....I'd be glued to it every night after work. (altho not much stitching would get done on my part...I'd be too busy watching)

    And the RED X idea is such a fabulous one! This really gets my pulse racing. Would love to be of assistance in any way I can, and I'm sure my entire stitchy group would love to help, too!!!

    Joanne
    Periwinkle Ink

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  17. A) I adore the Red X idea. It does need a new name though.
    B) There is a kid's show I have seen called iCarly about a couple of teenage girls who host a web program. I could sooooo see you and AC doing this! I promise I would be a devoted viewer.
    C) If you hosted a gtg I would move mountains to be there!
    Thank you as always for brightening my day.

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  18. I love the mobile LNS area, having to skip my annual Xmas in July sale when Beloved fell off the tractor and having to skip the planned LNS trip when the puppy cut his paw and I had to spend the day at the vet's.

    I eagerly await the shop-mobile and the secret signal in the sky here in CH, AKA the place with no shop within a two hour radius.

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  19. A stitchy retreat please. I've only recently begun following you and even more recently figured out (yes, it takes me awhile) that you're in my neck of Hoosierville. Easiest commute ever!

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  20. The stitchy retreat sounds awesome! I woul gladly brave the horse and buggies to head to your neck of the woods.

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  21. If you build it...they will come...(lol) see Coni your ideas are inspired from true greatness!! Still you didn't mention (teaching a class) you could do it via podcast (and then we would all tune in and become stitchy pod people) We could take over the needlepoint world!! I can see it all now!! Pod People running rampant, chanting (Coni, Coni, Coni) forcing canvas and needles into peoples hands telling them you have to stitch...for the love of Coni.. you have to stitch. We will save the world from boredom!! Oh I can't breathe...wait...calm down...calm down... there thats better. Back to reality. Sorry about that... Will still be keeping my eye to the sky for the RED X (a/k/a Stitch Mobile) Have a Grand Day!!! Looking for your fall list

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  22. I love all these ideas! And there is a Yarn-V (instead of an RV) for fans of spinning. It's a huge RV owned by Morgaine of Carolina Homespun, and she came to Lebanon OH this spring while we had a spinning weekend class at The Golden Lamb. You'd be surprised at the amount of stuff you can pack in one of those! The problem is that you really need a room to set up and display, rather than selling right from the RV. (If you're serious about the retreat, I could put you in touch with the woman who organized the spinning retreat--it was the first time she'd done it, and it was great!)

    I don't know about the Red X name--since it can't actually be the Red Cross, I think you might do better to just give it an all-new name that more clearly explains what it is. But I do think it's a great idea!

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  23. I'm game for a stitching retreat as well. You're well within driving distance. . . and I must say I'm tempted to pack up the cats and just show up on your doorstep!

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  25. Omg,omg, just the thought of a real stitching retreat would be so great. I have been to a few, but yours would be special. Coni, you are a born hostess, and I think this is really a good idea. Besides, I love diet Coke, and the chance to stitch with others who appreciate your humor would be a real honor. I think this is probably very doable. After all, you would double as stitching expert and entertainment.

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  26. A stitching retreat sounds fun. Spinster hilarity for days on end? So cool. As for appearing on camera, you could stitch one of the mardi gras masks to wear.

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  27. All of your ideas are fabulous!! STITCHY RETREAT please!! I would most definitely come. And, yes, I agree that if you brought Stewey, it would be great! Would love to meet you all in person. I also like the idea of the online talk show. I would definitely watch. Very excited for these ideas!

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  28. Every single one of us stitches to relax? I must have missed that one. Have you ever handed a Rubix Cube to a drunk? That's me with stitching in my hand. Unfortunately it's the shopping for stash that I find relaxing. Something (or maybe a few things) must be wrong with me.

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  29. Good thinking! I love all of your ideas.

    If you and AC did an online talk show, you could be kind of like Hoda and Kathy Lee ... a little goofy but interesting (well, I think they're interesting, but I only get to watch them when I don't have to work or play golf). You could even enjoy your Diet Coke or maybe some adult bevies. This could be fun.

    My main issue with most retreats is the cost. Am I cheap? Maybe. Or am I more anxious to spend my hard-earned bucks on other things (stash, beach travel, grandbaby items, expensive shoes)? I've been to a couple in Colorado when EE&F was around, but it's been ages.

    Anyhoo, my two cents, which is about what it's worth.

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  30. You have done it again!

    Emptying your very little brain has filled my equally little brain with such joy! I LOVE every one of your ideas...I also like the idea of the "RUBY X" (from Cindy).

    Keep working on all these ideas, and come back with them from time to time for more suggestions.

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  31. I NEED a retreat. WHEN? WHERE? I am SO in. What a blast it would be. Truly let's do it!

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  32. I love the idea of collecting supplies to donate to stitchers who have suffered some disaster. How does Stitch Relief sound?

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  33. I'm from Evansville and would most certainly travel up north for a Spinster-y stitching retreat! I can't wait to meet Stewey. And you too!

    I think all the other ideas are swell also. I love the idea of the Red X. Giving someone just a little something to make their life a little less terrible.

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  34. Hilarious....love the Stitching Mobile!!!!!

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  35. Yes, yes, yes, and yes! Now don't be a tease.

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  36. well so far think all your ideas are brill :) the one re the red X a smiler thing was put in a mag re a lady losing all her stash in the floods in australia and peeps sent her some stuff then ... would love to come to a stitching retreat with you .... just let me get my passport organised ..lol love mouse xxxx

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  37. They are all good ideas, and if I don't get to come to the retreat I'm going to burn all of my ND gear and replace it with similar gear from Michigan, Purdue, and Penn State. With a Southern Cal shirt thrown in for good measure!

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  38. brilliant! I would definitely watch your podcasts, and I would seriously make plans in all necessary haste to attend a Spinster Stitcher Retreat. Do.It.

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  39. A mobile LNS, awesome idea!!! The podcast is a great one as well.

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  41. All fantastic ideas Coni. I don't get to go to stitching retreats much...most of them cost so much I always figure I'd rather spend the money on stash...also I'm not crazy about spending $300 on little pincushion o sit on the shelf. Just my humble opinion - I'd rather go somewhere and just stitch and mingle with other stitchers and not have to take classes.

    The mobile store would be fantastic for those without an LNS - you go girl! It reminds me of visiting the bookmobile from the library during midwestern summers as a kid. Will you give out whistles or something as a souvenir? ( yes I have an Oscar Meyer Wienermobile whistle...)

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  42. Coni, Bring your great stitching, Stewey and your nephew and it'll be a rousing success. I live a few states away but I have a friend who's just as nuts about you as I am, so we may make it a road trip opportunity! Thanks for the laugh!

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  43. I totally agree with most who have written that I cannot afford lots of the stitching retreats I've read about. It ends up either having money for the retreat or having money to travel to the retreat--not both. Then there is the project or projects that are taught during the retreat. I guess I'm just super picky. I'm not exactly sure how to overcome the latter. But to be able to attend a retreat given by you, I'd be willing to walk to Indiana. :-)
    Pamela
    Tucson, AZ

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  44. Coni, why don't you call your charity the Floss Cross. I think it is a great idea. As for the stitching retreat, you most certainly would not be alone. If I lived closer to you, I would come. Maybe you could combine the stitching retreat idea and the podcast idea and do it online.

    Finally, if you find a way to get the Stitchmobile anywhere near the northeast side of Maryland and send up your X in the sky, I will be there!

    I had a bad day today and you really brightened it up! Thanks!

    Karen in Maryland

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  45. Love all your ideas. Reading the comments, I really liked Floss Cross or Ruby Cross - whichever or whatever would be a really lovely plan. Love the StitchMobile idea since we have lost our LNS. Don't watch much TV, so that one wouldn't catch me, but the retreat - I'm in!! Of course it would not be too far for me living in KY. Just don't make it the third week in Oct - I will be in MB at the PALS retreat. Wow talk about karma - the letters I am supposed to type to prove I am not a computer in order to post this response is my DH's name!!

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  46. All you need to do is name the place and the time for the Spinster's Stitching Retreat and I will be there!

    Thanks for making me smile at the end of a long day!!!

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  47. I am totally all in for the gingher scissor site!!

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  48. I've often dreamed of having a stitchy retreat. But I've always imagined it out in nature. I guess I can edit my dream to the Marriott. Sign me up.

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  49. Boy am I glad I had coffee at hand while reading this one!

    I vote for the retreat. I am so jealous of those who get together once a week or month to stitch. No on in my neck of the woods is interested in this craft.

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  50. Well, it's finally happened. I've been reading your blog long enough that everything you say makes sense! :D Sign me up. Cathryn

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  51. I love all those ideas! I would so come to a retreat and when I am Mackay, ID, I would love to have you, Stewie, Aunt Chrissy and Boscoe pull up in your RV! We will leave the light on.

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  52. First, I am so jealous of those of you who find the Gingher scissors that aren't their plain, normal ones...My JoAnn store (yes, it's mine alone, I just let others shop there lol) never has the collectibles.

    I would ABSOLUTELY come to your retreat...I drink diet coke, I stitch in my jammies or sweats (shorts when it's hot) with no makeup or bra wearing...and I do think you and Aunt C would be a hoot! I live close enough, that's for sure!!

    The other ideas are great. I have thought about the replacing of stash - years ago my chapter of EGA collected for a couple who had lost their stash in a fire. A tv show hosted by you would be hysterical and I would definately watch!! You would have to have two RV's, I'm afraid - one for the storefront and one to live in...but that would be fun - like the bookmobiles!

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  53. Great ideas! I love the xstitch RV idea, since my closest LNS is 2 hrs. away. What about the name "Floss Across" (as in across the country)? If you have a Stitch Retreat, I will try to come.
    Carolyn

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  54. I would definately arrange a trip to your stitching retreat.

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  55. You don't have to show your face--make it a podcast! Also, I'm there. I'll come just for the diet Coke. ;)

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  56. I love all of your ideas! I have been wanting to host a retreat by me as well and afraid no one would show up. The idea of a craft talk show on TV would be wonderful!!!

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  57. Deborah says....

    Love all the ideas, but especially the retreat.

    I love the idea of going somewhere where I could learn how to stitch and not have to carry a 50 lb sewing machine along and the 10 lbs of fabric.

    How nice to bring one project that fits in my luggage and work on that all weekend!

    I know some stitchy people are laughing right now....1 project?

    Since I'm not EVEN a newbie yet (and won't be a newbie until this retreat), 1 project will be just fine. You have no idea how slowly I work.

    I can't wait to see the e-flyer on your blog for this retreat!

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  58. Wow, when you fill up your little bear brain you really fill it up with awesome ideas! If I made an exchange a lot of fluff 'n nutter would surely filter in.

    Anyhoo, I about jumped out of my seat when you mentioned the Red X idea because I have often thought of that and didn't know what to do about it or how to distribute the stuff. It all started back when Greensburg was wiped off the map and me having enough stash for 6 lifetimes and at least 3 LNS's. I thought, here I have all this great stuff just sitting at my place waiting patiently for it's moment that will never come and there are stitchers out there that have just lost everything. Shameful, I thought. Then the tsunami in Japan and the tornado in Joplin. After each devastating event I think about donating stash and that's as far as it goes. You, OTOH, blast it out there and ACT on it. Brilliant! Please, please, please do this. I can ship out boxes of donations immediately. Please contact me to further this idea. I would love to see this happen! I also belong to a group of stitchers that meet twice a month (where I read your blog to keep them all up to date with the antics of Stewey) and they all have tons of stuff as well. You go girl and keep the great ideas coming!

    Joan
    Corona, CA

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  59. Love the traveling LNS/RV idea! Love the Red "Cross" idea, but yes, you'll have to come up with another name!!! And are you kidding, of course I'd come to your retreat. I love retreats and I love going to places away from home and have some fun exploring and taking adventures!!!

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  60. Wonderful Ideas. All of them! As for the Spinster Stitcher Retreat, I'm there along with a friend. Count us in. Love Ya

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  61. Stitch Retreat and Stitch Mobile - fabulous ideas! We have no LNS here in Racine, WI so a mobile or retreat in this area would be well attended I can guartnee

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  62. Wait. Aren't retreats usually nature related? Like come to this (insert type of retreat like stitching) retreat, and when not taking a class you can walk amongst frigging nature?? I'd like a stitching retreat. But would not like it if you hated it Coni. Is that why you invision it in a local Motel 6- I mean Marriot?

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  63. Spinster Stitcher's Retreat...$$
    Vat of Diet Coke...$$
    Basket o' stitchy stuff...$$
    Guest Speaker JDM...priceless

    He doesn't even have to say anything. He can just stand there. Of course, not much stitching will get done.

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  64. These are all fantastic ideas Coni! I would love to go to a retreat, and I think it would be even better if it were put together by you and Chrissy.

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  65. Ah, ParisFan...you said it sista!
    Retreat...great
    Podcast...I might actually get a clue what these are
    Donations...Any time...I'll watch for news.

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  66. If you build it we will come. The Retreat sounds perfect. I'd be there, wherever there is. CJ OK ;-)

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  67. You can count me in - the stitchy retreat, the RV, the Send-a-stash, the podcasts - all of it! What I wouldn't give for a day to be in your brain - it sounds like a really fun place to be.

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  68. Only 42 chairs. I don't think that will be enough. Give me time to save my money as I have to come from Australia.

    The mobile RV is an awesome idea as is the talk show

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  69. Love, love love! I am a retreat fanatic! There is nothing better than stitching with others! I don't necessarily need classes, just love to get together! Whatever the location!!

    Stitching bus--what a deal for folks in areas away from LNS>

    Online--bring it on.

    Floss Cross--We ALL have tons to donate. Our LNS did something similar for the Greensburg tornado. There was a small needlework/framing shop there with a phenomenal owner. She is just an artist with matting/framing. Our LNS send supplies and new models, since all of her models were destroyed.

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  70. Ooooh Spinster Stitcher, don't tease us, now we WANT a Retreat! Make sure the area is pet friendly as Stewy needs to be admired. A road trip from Illinois is doable.

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  71. I would LOVE to do a stitching retreat with you!!! Please, please host one! I am there!

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  72. Oooh, I love everyone of your ideas! Let's get the ball rolling......

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  73. Coni, I credit you with my new addiction. I received my first pair of fabric scissors when I was in high school. My mom gave me some pretty red ones with pink and orange flowers when I started sewing. Recently a friend of mine got into sewing, so she and I were working on a project together and I let her borrow my Ginghers because she was trying to use some aweful kitchen scissors. I was thinking today that a fun patterned pair similar to mine would be a nice Christmas gift for her. Long story short (sort of), I discovered, thanks to your blog, that I have a gem and a nice start to my collection :) Your list of the Gingher Designer Series is the only place on the web that I could find where my Rosemarie shears fit into the timeline officially (I knew it was around 1999-2000 that my mom gave them to me, thanks Mom!).

    Within an hour of my initial google search, I set off to JoAnns to see if I could add to my "collection" and luckily I got the last pair of the Alicia pattern at that store! I can't wait to see what they come out with next! I am all in favor of a fan website.

    My mom and I are kicking ourselves for not indulging our desire for more pretty scissors back then. I remember eyeing a blue pair when I was in college and broke. Perhaps Penelope? Yep, I deserve to be kicked.

    Thank you for your entertaining blog! I will be reading more as soon as I can focus on more than the current Ebay listings :D

    ~Katie

    P.S. Is there a way I could post a picture without starting my own blog? I didn't see any pics of the Rosemarie pattern online and thought maybe someone would appreciate me posting one. Sorry, I'm new to this thing called blogging.

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