Well, well, well. What have we here?
I see that you all have encouraged my stupid mo-ther to spin into some crazyass world of "A Spinster Stitcher Who Now Thinks She Is A Meeting Planner, An Entrepreneur, And A Philanthropist". I awoke to discover that instead of her usual attire of eighteen year old sweatpants and a Hanes t-shirt that should have hit the rag bin years ago, she's now sporting pumps and a power suit.
Yes, you read that correctly. A power suit.
Apparently it's 1987 again.
Aunt Chrissy and I will be convening this afternoon to initiate a battle plan and to warn the pharmacist that we're going to need a bigger boat. I'm thinking that an i.v. drip of something soothing will buy us enough time to gas up the car, pack her a little bag, and get her to the Greyhound station in time for the one-way trip to (insert appropriate facility name here).
So please stay tuned for further updates, and please forgive her shameless attempt to distract you from the fact that there has not been one damn bit of stitching to report.
I remain your faithful pal and compatriot,
Stewey
Don't ship her off to the Funny Farm just yet. We are enjoying the SS brand of madness.
ReplyDeleteJane, waving from CH where my dogs wish you well controlling the humans (but they aren't holding their breath)
Stewey, it's just a phase she's going through, something like when you chewed on furniture and shoes or peed on drapes (wait, you're still doing that!). Give her a break. She'll go back to her regular attire once she impresses the sales people, buys the RV, meets with the hotel/resort conference planners, organizes the retreat, and finishes the other loose ends.
ReplyDeleteTake advantage of it while you can. Since she's got her bra and shoes on, she can go to the store, so give her your shopping list. Just something thoughtful advice from the horses, dogs, cats, and assorted wildlife at Critter Cove!
I just want to know if the suit has Joan Collins-like shoulder pads!
ReplyDeleteOh for heavens sake Stewey, lighten up! The girl is allowed to have dreams.
ReplyDeleteJust think, this could turn out to be big news in the stitchy world. There could be a book or movie in the future about a stitcher and her little dog who took on the unfortunate masses without stitchy stuff or expertise and improved their dull existence.
Spinster Stitcher and AC on the road in their RV and you helping with the driving!!!
LOL... go get em Spinster Stitcher!! Damn the torpedos...full speed ahead!!! Stewey will just to have to deal with the madness somehow... Would love to see a pic of the suit. Good Luck with the RV guy. My husband always tells me to "lick your lips, and push your boobs out really big and smile at the salesman" lmbo Stitch Mobile here she comes!!!
ReplyDeleteStewey, have you ever seen the inside of a crate? I have a sassy little shihpoo here who just read today's post and is making a case for shipping her crate to you.
ReplyDeleteMaster Stewey, do you have your RV license? I think mo-ther and AC will need your help with the stitchmobile....
ReplyDeleteStewey, don't you dare discourage your mo-ther. I am really looking forward to contributing to the Red Floss, attending the retreat, and watching her podcasts.
ReplyDeleteJust read your "About Me" - the epitaph. You crack me up!!
ReplyDelete"Dynasty" Lives!!!!!
ReplyDeleteDon't leave me hanging - what happens next?!!
ReplyDeleteIf Stewey's getting a bigger boat does that mean a "Yacht and Cross" retreat?
ReplyDeleteConi, would you please give Stewey an extra special hug from me today? My 14 year old Westie, Max died yesterday. He's been there through so much with me - when I was pregnant (he knew before I did), my son's first word was "Maxie" and through my husband's betrayal. He's loved me when no one else did. And now he's gone. I'm just miss him so much. Some people just wouldn't understand. But I think you would.
ReplyDeleteWOOT WOOT!! Flying to Indiana tomorrow for my niece's wedding! Will be done South in Seymour - but, wanted to warn you, in case you sensed "a disturbance in the force!"
ReplyDeleteI'll be sans Chez Spinster for a week:( Stewey - best of luck with you-know-who while I'm gone!
Sal
Arf, Arf! Don't be too upset. She made feel bad and bring you more bones and toys when she returns. Just bark and dance when she comes in letting her know you really missed her. And put your nose in her purse and check for those bones - they got to be in there.
ReplyDeleteLove, KitKat, Winner of Best Barker in the World Award and Pretty Darn Good at Wagging my Tail til my Butt Wags Award too.
Stewey, you didn't really ship Mo-ther off to the funny farm, did you?
ReplyDeleteTo Anonymous:
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for you, sweetheart.
I kinda know how you feel...my 7 year old "baby" BlondieCat passed away suddenly at the end of June. I still miss him so very much.
My heart is crying for you.
You're NOT alone.
-- Lynn in southern NJ
To Anonymous...
ReplyDeleteThere is no pain so horrible as that of losing a child. Your pet was your child. My dogs are my children. I love them, nurture them, take care of them. And they in turn make me happy, sometimes make me sad or mad. So I understand...I lost my beloved Nick several years back and he is sorely missed. He was very faithful and loving and my other dogs grieved for him when he was gone.It may sound bad but I got another pet right away to help make up for the void I carried and Nicks partner carried. It has helped tremendously. Consider adopting another baby!
The loss of a pet is devastating. My Max was my world...he understood me better than my family...he was there when my husband betrayed me...my children left the nest...I miss him terribly but know that I will see him across the Rainbow Bridge someday. I did get another dog soon afterwards...no, he is not Max...I carry Max in my heart every day...but it helps to have a furry friend who loves you unconditionally!
ReplyDeleteHugs to you and know that your Westie will be with you someday...I have a garden dedicated to Max!