Forgive me, please. As you know by now, I am a bear of very little brain, so once it fills up with a bunch of random crap, I need to empty it a little so that there might be room for new stuff to come in.
(I like to tell people that I operate on the Kelly Bundy Method -- for every new thing that comes in, one old thing has to go out.)
(And as much as I would love to take credit for that, I can't. I've never seen Married With Children and haven't one clue as to who exactly Kelly Bundy is. I learned of the Kelly Bundy Method from my Jersey Boy Rich when he became completely exasperated with me and my...see bear of tiny little brain above.)
So here's what's in there today:
STITCH MOBILE: Aunt Chrissy and I have this crazypants idea. (OK, if you must know, Aunt Chrissy doesn't have this idea at all actually. I just always think that if I throw her into the mix it lends instant credibility.) We want to buy an RV/bus (from one of the manufacturers right here in Elkhart, Hoosierville to help the economy, thank you very much), and we want to trick this thing out so that it's a mobile needlework shop. We were thinking that we could drive it all around the country and go to places that don't have a LNS and that we could say "Hey...(insert place here that doesn't have a LNS)! We're coming your way and will be in a Wal-Mart parking lot near you very soon!" And so that we wouldn't be competing with shops in that region, we could make sure that we load up the RV/bus with stuff from their very own shop....kind of like "We know you couldn't go to see them, so we thought we'd bring them to see you."
I know what you're thinking. How the hell are we: a) going to live in said RV/bus; b) when can you expect the first bitchy post from Stewey as to the sub-par accommodations; and c) where will we find a boat big enough to sail it to New Zealand once we've hit all of the hot spots here in the U.S.?
Details are being worked out. Stay tuned.
(Oh, and P.S...I, for one, think that we should have a thingie on the top of the RV/bus that will project a signal up into the sky. You know. Kind of like the bat signal. But with prettier colors.)
THE RED "CROSS": This idea is actually something that I swear to all that is holy that I am going to do. The problem is that Aunt Chrissy thinks there might be a HUGE problem with the name. Here's the gist: When a disaster strikes someplace in the world, there are organizations that show up to help the victims. (Like the Red Cross). They help with food and clothing and shelter and whatnot, but I would imagine that nobody is there to help with stitching supplies. So I was thinking...what if we started a charity that would help a stitcher who has lost everything to re-build his/her stash? What if you could call this charity up and say "I've lost everything" and within a day or so there would be a lovely package that would have a few nice little things to get you started and then within a month or so you'd get a much larger package that would help you get back on your stitchy feet? Every single one of us stitches to relax, right? So why not provide a little bit of comfort to somebody who is stuck in a hotel room or a trailer or a temporary shelter. Besides...it would be a very small yet personal way to let somebody know that the stitchy world cares.
I like the name the Red "Cross", but instead of writing the word "cross", what if you turned it on its side so that it looked like....The Red X....as in CROSS....as in stitch?
Ah, philanthropy. Thy name is...well, in this case....problematic.
AN ONLINE TALK SHOW: This one has me the most twisted in knots. Primarily because it would involve appearing on camera, and we all know how much I just adore having my photograph or likeness made for the world to see. (What can I say? I have issues. Clearly. I do.) I think it would be completely hilarious to have a talk show with Aunt Chrissy and I up in the studio doing what we do. We could interview guests via Skype and we could demonstrate stuff and review new things and report stitchy news. Wouldn't that be a complete hoot?
Yes. I know what you're thinking. This is a good ideal only until the Stitchy Police come along and shut us right down for being us. I can imagine the hate mail now...."You two should have your Ginghers taken away"...."Where in God's name did you get the idea that you knew anything about stitching?"...."You're doing it all wrong"....."Would a little make-up have KILLED you?"
Maybe we better think this one through more.
Finally, I have always wanted to host a STITCHING RETREAT, but I'm afraid that nobody would come to it. Every time I think about how much fun it would be, I start to shudder at the vision of me standing in the Residence Inn by Marriott meeting room with forty-two empty chairs and a vat of diet Coke. OMG, how embarrassing. But if a retreat sounds like something y'all would be interested in, let me know just how over the top you would want it to be and I'll call out the dancing men.
(Oh wait. That's a different kind of retreat.)
So that's what is rattling around in my head today as I gaze up into a gorgeous blue sky and wish I could go sit under a tree and read a book. (Can't, thanks. Trees have bugs in them that invariably fall on my head and then I'm caught in public furiously swatting my brains out while shouting "I HATE FREAKIN' NATURE!" and I can never go to that park again. Or college campus.)
What's in your brain today?
***AAAACCCCKKKK!!!!***** I forgot the most important thing that is rattling around...a GINGHER DESIGNER SERIES SCISSORS FAN SITE! Seriously, people. Don't you think we need a place where we can go find out about the new styles coming out, etc? As it is, I rely on all of yous to give me a heads up and then Aunt Chrissy bee-lines it over to the JoAnns with coupons to see if she can score a couple of pairs. And if we hear of ones being released to LNSs we badger them until they add us to their lists....oey!