Sep 16, 2011

A CONVERSATION OVERHEARD AT CHEZ SPINSTER LAST NIGHT

STEWEY: Mo-ther, we need to talk about your blog post today.

MO-THER: What about it? (She peers over her stitchy glasses and tries to surreptitiously glance at Jeffrey Dean Morgan on the TeeVee screen).

STEWEY: (Immediately catching on, reaching for the remote, and clicking the off button while Mo-ther sputters in angry disbelief.)  I am very disappointed that you would post a picture of me that implies that I do not know how to wipe my nose.  As everybody knows, a gentleman always carries a proper handkerchief, and had you pointed out the fact that I had a remnant of my evening snack on my face, I would have happily taken care of it. In private, thank you very much.

MO-THER: For cripes' sake, Stewey.  Every time I try to get within two feet of you, you skitter away and act like I'm going to attempt a briss.  As a matter of fact, I think I'm going to start calling you Skittles.  Yeah.  That's it.  Skittles.  And because you're so little, I'm going to call you Little Skittles.
(She chortles madly as she dials the phone.)

MO-THER: Hey, Aunt Chrissy!  Guess what!  I'm going to start calling Little Lord Fauntleroy here Little Skittles!  Isn't that the funniest thing you've ever heard?  Aren't I a comedic genius?!

AUNT CHRISSY:  Put Stewey on the phone.

MO-THER: You guys aren't going to make me take those pills again are you?

AUNT CHRISSY: (tapping her fingernail impatiently) Stewey.  Phone.  Now.

STEWEY:  Hello, Aunt Chrissy?  This is Stewey.

AUNT CHRISSY: Hi, Stewey.  I'll be in the driveway in ten minutes.

STEWEY: OK, Aunt Chrissy.  I'll be ready.  May I bring my overnight valise with me?

AUNT CHRISSY: Whatever blows your smoking jacket up, kid.

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Apparently, I'm the only one around here who thinks I'm hilarious.  The dog is not speaking to me, and based upon my attempts to contact her today, it would also appear that Aunt Chrissy has changed her phone number.  If I drive over to her neighborhood today and see a For Sale sign in her front yard, I'm going to be very sad indeed.

Still plugging along on the Prairie Moon, but not enough progress to warrant a fist fight with the camera.  I really am going to try to work on it over the weekend, but if something new should happen to jump into my hands, I wouldn't be too terribly upset about it.

Here's hoping that your weekend is swell!  Do something I wouldn't do!

11 comments:

  1. Wow! a free weekend!! No one laying in your stitchy chair or on your clean quilt bedding getting muddy paw prints everywhere. No one peeing on your curtains. Sounds kinda of good... We Texans(or at least I am) a firm believer in nicknames for my dogs (I have Rosey (roseygirl)Zoey (zoe,zoe) and Buddy (butterball). Stewey will just have to get used to it. Have a grand weekend (whatever project you decide to do I'm sure it will be great!)

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  2. I love "Little Skittles". Hope he gets used to it quickly!

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  3. Little Skittles is great!! Hopefully all will be well again soon afterall Stewey is certain to get sick of his cousin, right?!

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  4. Skittles!!! Bwahahahahahaha. Almost spit out my Crystal Light Fruit Punch reading that one!!!! Love it. And I knew he would find fault with your post of that pic yesterday. LOL.

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  5. Ah, well, perhaps Little Skittles will be more diligent regarding personal hygiene apres snacking in the future, n'est pas?

    Tee-he-he- Little Skittles!

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  6. Oh Stewey: Mom is haveing a tough time with her camara I had a bad day with mine today and could not figure out how to get rid of the write protect picture that kept appearing I finally figured it out please help mom with her camara.
    I love your Prairie Moon so much I had to order one for myself, I will probebly not get it done until next year but I do have the pattern.
    Stewey you could have your face covered in almost anything and you would still be Handsom.
    Catherine
    diamondc

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  7. "Little Skittles" LOL! Sorry Master Stewey, your mommy is funny!

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  8. Love, love, love your post. Do something you wouldn't do? Hmmmmmm That will take some time to figure out what. ;) Take care. Cathryn (my word verification today is fustsa) lolololol

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  9. Don't tell him, but I think Little Skittles is hilarious!

    And just what is something you would not do??? ;)

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  10. Stewey, I found your smoking jacket! Thistle Needleworks borrowed it for their ad (p. 44, Needlepoint Now)! Mo-ther needs to stitch you one.

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  11. Hope your weekend was swell too, Coni! And I hope you show us both progress on your P.M. Quaker...and something new that jumped into your stitchy hands if that happened!

    It was a beautiful autumn weekend about an hour north of you, here in Michigan - maybe you had the same blue skies with puffy clouds!

    Hope the puppy's attitude is more in line with your humor today!

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