Dec 27, 2009

THE CHRISTMAS REPORT, PART ONE

Stewey can't come to the blog right now. He's passed out in front of the fire with all of his new toys surrounding him. Well, not ALL of his new toys exactly, but enough of them that he feels comforted.

The Zhu Zhu was an enormous hit for the full seventeen seconds he got to play with it. After breaking two fingernails and a tiny little screwdriver, I managed to get the battery installed and then put the little gizmo into its "Specialty Play Dome" and let 'er rip. The hilarity that ensued was worth a few pictures, but sadly, I was stunned senseless by the viciousness with which my little nine-pound bundle of love dispatched the "Specialty Play Dome" in hot pursuit of the animal within:

Aunt Chrissy screamed bloody murder, Bosco ran for cover, and I tried not to wet myself as Stewey barricaded himself in a corner with the Zhu Zhu firmly clenched in his little overbite while the wheels on the damn thing whirred away. It was quite a Christmas picture, let me tell you:

Poor little Bosco had a miserable day. With all of the excitement over Stewey and his Zhu Zhu, he got stuck in the "afterthought" category and had the added humiliation of having to pose for pictures sporting his new motorcycle jacket:

"You're kidding me, right? HE pees on everything that moves and gets a Zhu Zhu for Christmas and I get clothes?! Somebody is going to pay for this."


Aunt Chrissy spoiled me rotten with a bus load of marvelous presents (that I'm fairly certain I don't deserve), and she even managed to bring me to the ugly cry at least four or five times.

Bosco gets the award for the best note accompanying a gift...he gave me an autographed copy of Ina Garten's "Back to Basics" (in which she wrote MY ACTUAL NAME! INA GARTEN KNOWS MY NAME!) and in it he wrote "Aunt CJ I spent all of my allowance on long distance talking to Ms. Garten about this gift for you." I, of course, was a puddle of tears before I got to the little paw print signature.

The BIG GIFT for me this year was a Kindle, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I am now a full-blown addict. This morning I downloaded the Sunday edition of the New York Times RIGHT THERE IN MY BIG GIRL SLEIGH BED! and then read it cover to cover before I knew what hit me. This machine is a very very dangerous contraption for somebody like me....now I never need to leave the bedroom, much less the house. I've downloaded a few books to read and have promised myself that I will NOT accumulate a stash of reading material, but we'll see how long that lasts. I mean, how cool is it that you can browse a bookstore at 3am? In your underpants!

Stewey will have lots more to tell you tomorrow, I'm sure. He felt that the level of gift giving this year more than made up for my lousy decorating, so methinks the New Year will usher in a new era of love and obedience around here. In the meantime, we've got a week of precociousness to go, so I'm not going to start celebrating just yet. Damn dog.

15 comments:

  1. Conni, I am jealous.. I have been wanting a Kindle !!! Glad you and Stewey had a great Christmas !!

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  2. I have a Sony Reader and LOVE MINE!
    :)
    Love the Christmas Report and Stewey is one lucky guy, not to mention that his toy box in the above picture looks like Ellie's :)

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  3. Love the picture of Stewey in front of the fireplace! Too funny about his new pet!

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  4. Conni - Best Christmas reporting of the decade!! What a great Christmas you all enjoyed. I laughed myself silly!

    I am glad to see that Stewey's terrier instincts didn't fail him and that he went right for the Zhu Zhu's jugular. Really, what did you expect?!?!?!! My terrier girl was so excited to read about Stewey's Christmas adventure! And, of course, she fully sympathized with Bosco having herself received an embarrassing pink ski jacket complete with fur-trimmed hood.

    Your blog delights all year long -- it's a gift that keeps on giving. Thank you.

    Happy New Year!

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  5. Coni, thank you for always being the bright spot in my day. I hope you and Stewey, Aunt Chrissy and Bosco have a wonderful New Year! Looking forward to more of the Spinster's antics!

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  6. That is the cutest blog header pic!! Too cute. :) LOL about the Zhu Zhu--Duffy is like that with a few balls that he has. We have to hide them because he goes ballistic trying to get them. Love the pic of Bosco!

    Woo on the Kindle! I am soooo tempted! Enjoy. :

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  7. Now if you can get the Kindle to download charts and stitch guides you will REALLY have a treasure!

    Merry Christmas to you all.

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  8. Poor Bosco has that doggy look of humiliation when required to wear clothing... very cute anyway. I am glad you had a wonderful Christmas Coni! Any chance you will post a pic of all your stashy gifts?

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  9. A+ for your Christmas report. The description of Stewie and his new Zhu Zhu had Lestat the cat heading for the safety of the doona and me cracking up laughing.

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  10. So happy to hear you and your family has a wonderful Christmas.
    Tammy

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  11. Coni, I also got a Kindle (woo-hoo) and have finished one book and am well on my way to finishing a second. It is addictive to just download books so quickly isn't it? So glad that Stewey liked his gifts and that you had a great Christmas. Hope your New Year is a good one too!

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  12. My two pups are looking at all of Stewys toys and glaring at me out of the corner of their eyes... They say they are not speaking to me now knowing that he got a Zhu Zhu and they did not ....

    I am happy that you all had a wonderful Christmas many wishes for a Happy New Year!

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  13. I'm howling...yet again, over you and Stewey and the absolutely hysterical cherades at your house! My wish to you is that 2010 brings you as much great story telling and creative blog writing as you have entertained all of us with in 2009!~ Cheers!! Faye

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  14. Ok, so the historian in me prefers the smell of the book, but congrats on the Kindle! And I love love love the caption under Bosco's picture!!!

    My cat has already torn apart 3 of her toys that came in her stocking, so I can appreciate Stewey getting the Zhu Zhu out of the ball...LOL.

    Have a great New Year and hopefully Stewey will have a better year!

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  15. Ever since I saw the Zhu Zhu I have been thinking that if my niece had that instead of a real hamster, everyone in that house would love Stella a whole lot more. (They gave her a bag of coal--plush, doggie toy coal--for Christmas.)

    Also loving the Kindle. I don't think the dude would let me switch the NYT subscription. (We do need to do the puzzle.) But I read three books on vacation on that sucker. L.O.V.E...I.T.!

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