Spinster awakens and tiptoes to the bathroom so as not to disturb Your Highness, who happens to be sleeping smack dab in the middle of the big girl sleigh bed.
Spinster returns to the bedroom after sitting in the dry bathtub reading the latest issue of Needlepoint Now. (The lighting is good and won't disturb you-know-who.)
Spinster decides to listen to NPR at a volume level low enough to give her a migraine from straining to hear it so as not to awaken...you get the idea.
Spinster decides to take herself and a book out to the Happy Chair.
Spinster hits the "ON" button on the coffee pot and then immediately has a heart attack when she realizes that the grinder will surely awaken (insert spoiled little selfish dog name here), and she will have hell to pay all day long.
Spinster settles into the Happy Chair with hot coffee, a book, and the realization that she will be able to enjoy some peace and quiet all to her very self for the first time in five and a half blissful years of living with Little Lord Fauntleroy.
Caterwauling begins from deep under the covers of the big girl sleigh bed as an indication that the King is not amused. Spinster sprints to the side of the bed so that he will not be traumatized for life that he was forced to awaken without the soft cooing of Mommie Dearest and a tummy rub.
Spinster mutters to herself in the freezing sleeting pi**ing rain/sleet/snow mixture as Mister FussBudget decides which particular blade of grass he'd like to pee on. After several minutes of careful consideration he pees on the side of the house instead.
Spinster stands and gawps in amazement as the freakin brat of a miserable little son of a #*$^@^ stands in the doorway to the bedroom and stomps his feet and declares that it's too early for him to be awake and that he would like his morning Greenie and cookies in the bed, thank you very much, and oh, by the way, it's Thursday today and that means he also wants French press coffee and waffles with syrup and a tiny little pat of butter to be on his breakfast tray, along with the Wall Street Journal and USA Today.
Spinster goes to garage to sit in the car.
Dog pees on drapes, turns himself around a few times, and promptly falls asleep in the happy chair.