May 6, 2021

DEAR FRIENDS...

Well, it would seem that there's a lesson someplace about realizing that I am not, in fact, the Boss of everything...including my own life.

The nodule that showed up on the CT scan of my head isn't in my nasal cavity at all. It's actually at the back of my throat, between the top of my spinal column and my airway. It's about 1.5cm long and is shaped very much like a Mike and Ike. 

It does not appear to be a tumor, but rather a swollen lymph node...thank God. The doctor scoped my nose and throat and wasn't able to visualize a bump or lump, and there's no sign of anything else amiss, so we're going to just let it be for the moment and take another look at it in three months. If it's grown or changed, then we'll go from there, but the hope is that it will shrink back to normal.

As I was getting ready for that appointment, I got a call from my transplant coordinator from IU. When I was there in April, I had a CT scan of my torso to make sure all of the vessels there are good and clear to be hooked up to a new kidney. I think they are, but unfortunately, the scan showed something else.

Dearies, I have some pretty significant cirrhosis of the liver. 

In my case, this scarring/damage/nodules is probably the result of either medication or other health issues, since I was never a heavy drinker and have not had any alcohol in the last ten to fifteen years. It's bad news, I'm afraid, since there is no way to reverse it or cure it. My weight loss and careful eating will certainly help prevent further damage, but this is going to get a bit more complicated now in terms of transplant. 

I will travel to Indy on the 18th for more testing, and I've pulled my gut doctor here into the mix so he can weigh in and work with IU on a plan going forward. I don't know if my beloved Dr Goggins does double organ transplants, so I might have to head to Mayo or Cleveland Clinic after all.

Yes, in case you were wondering, I am still in a bit of shock and more that a little numb. I did manage to talk to Dr Melfi today, and spewing everything out was good. Rich being in New Jersey is also good, because it forces me into strong mode and I have to focus and handle my business instead of fall apart.

I hope you will bear with me during the coming months. I just have no idea what's going to happen next and whether or not I will be able/up to blogging every day. I confess that I debated long and hard about posting this news, but we've always been honest with each other and you are, quite simply, my people and I love you.

Prayers are always appreciated, and I promise that they are reciprocated every night when I thank God for my many many many blessings. I just hope I am worthy of them.

I'm off to bed and 84 Charing Cross Road! Please come tell me all about your day! Night night and kiss kiss!

46 comments:

  1. I am speechless, Coni. Sending love, prayers and strength. You take care of YOU, we'll close the wagons around you out here in cyberspace. ox -p.

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  2. Oh dear Coni, I have been checking here all day and had the feeling something was wrong. It was like a punch in the gut when I read your news. I don't post often here, but I always read your blog. You have brought a smile to my face so many times. I hope you realize the joy you bring to so many and that we are all pulling for you.

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  3. Keep positive you will get through this and you have a lot of people rooting for you, put yourself first and take care!

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  4. Oh Coni, I am saddened to hear this, but with all the people out there in your corner and lifting you up in prayer, good things can happen. I continue to send up prayers daily and I do hope you can update us on how you are doing. May God bless you and keep you!

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  5. I'll pray for you, Coni.
    Jane

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  6. I'm so sorry to hear this! Take care of yourself. You'll be in my thoughts.

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  7. You are in my heart and on my mind tonight. Don’t worry about posting. We’ll keep on lifting you up regardless.

    You are loved.

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  8. God bless you, Coni. I’m praying for you.
    Donna

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  9. Just know we are here for you❤️

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  10. So sorry to hear the latest news. Thoughts and prayers will continue. God bless you.

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  11. You will be strong and come through this.

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  12. I don't post often, but love your blog and always enjoy reading it. You lift people up with your honesty, with, and view of life. And we are all here to lift you up, in prayer and any other ways you need. Thank you for being you and know that you are loved!

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  13. God bless and keep you, Coni. I will continue praying for you everyday. Keep strong.

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  14. Prayers and hugs dearest brave Spinster.I know God is holding you in the palm of His hand. Luv,
    MaryO

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  15. Dear Coni, You have been on my mind so much. Sending love and prayers for you. Please don't put pressure on yourself to post daily if you are not feeling up to it. Just take care of you and we will keep praying.

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  16. I’m so very sorry to hear this news. Post only when you want to or feel up to it. In the meantime I’ll keep checking here daily as I have for years to see if there’s any news or post. You are in my prayers!

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  17. We all worry about you when we don't hear from you. Please know that we all love you and are rooting for a great outcome. Hugs,

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  18. you enrich this world and life right where you are
    so thankful for you
    your honest and true self
    thank you for always sharing
    -corinna

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  19. Oh shoot didn't wanna hear that. But I just know in my heart that in the end everything is going to come together and work out for you. God will take care of you. You are such a positive person. I know it's hard at times but Keep being positive. Prayers always.

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  20. Yikes! Never imagined to hear this news! You have a good team of docs supporting you - wishing/hoping/praying for you to jump this hurdle too. Big hugs! xx

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  21. Sending big hugs and much love x

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  22. Keep the faith, stay strong and positive. We’re here for you in blog land. Sending positive thoughts and love from Framlingham, UK. xx

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  23. Sending you lots of love from Ireland, stay strong.

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  24. Sending huge hugs and love from Scotland! We may not know you in person, but I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say we consider you a dear friend, and we're all here for you xx

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  25. Don't worry about blogging Coni, just take care of you. Whether you need time on your own, or need to rant, cry or babble, we understand and are here for you, regardless. Sending much love and hugs from the UK xx

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  26. Coni, I live in Rochester MN, home of Mayo Clinic. I don’t post but I read and enjoy your shenanigans every day. If you choose Mayo, please let me know. I will try to help you in any way I can. I am VERY serious about this. If you have any questions about Rochester, fire away! Meanwhile, I will include you in my prayers.

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  27. Prayers as you go forward and figure this out Coni. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 I’m so glad you at least got one bit of hood news. We are all pulling for you!! 💕💕

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  28. Prayers as you go forward and figure this out Coni. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 I’m so glad you at least got one bit of hood news. We are all pulling for you!! 💕💕

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  29. I keep you in my prayers!

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  30. I am wishing you best. I am waiting to see if I make it to the waiting list for a kidney.

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  31. Sending fervent good thoughts your way, Coni, and admire your honesty and grit. Keep your chin up and boobs out, my dear, and you will get through this.

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  32. Sending you lots of love!! 💕

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  33. Whew! Deep breath, sweet lady!!!! It will all be worked out a little bit at a time and you have good docs who you have faith in to look out for you. We all love you and wish only the best for you. Take the time you need to adjust to these news bumps and know you are in our hearts and in our prayers.
    God bless you

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  34. You are in my prayers. I enjoy your posts so much.

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  35. Hugs and prayers Coni. You have come to far. This is just a bump

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  36. So much love, Coni. My heart hurts for you.

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  37. I'm sorry about this liver issue popping up, just when all was going pretty good with being high on the kidney transplant list and losing the weight (and more) for it. At least there's no panic on the throat thing though? Sending good thoughts that all can be worked around when a kidney comes through for you. You did right thing posting the latest hiccup.

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  38. Coni, you have already conquered many obstacles, you will deal with this. Sending much love and many prayers your way!

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