Feb 25, 2020

TUESDAY...OEY

I don't have one darn clue what's wrong with me, Dearies, but something is decidedly "off" and has been for quite some time. I am just not my normal happy-go-stupid-lucky little self, and the resulting black cloud is starting to wear on me.

It's not the Black Dog, exactly, but rather a feeling of unwell and frustration and gloom and doom that is very foreign. I'm mad and short-tempered and nasty-thinking, and that is most definitely NOT like me. 

In other words...I have a very healthy case of the mean reds instead of my normal blues.

But enough of that nonsense.  We have places to go and things to do today, and the world has enough problems without me feeling grumpy, right? I need to belt myself across the chops and utter a good old "Snap out of it!" a la Miss Cher Her Very Self in the Moonstruck and be done with it.

I came home from treatment (which...let's face it...is probably at least 74% of the problem), ate enough lasagna to sink a battleship, and then went to bed at 7:15. I tossed and turned for a few hours and got up at midnight to sit in the Happy Chair to stitch and read:




The funny thing is that I'm not even sure I like the stitchy piece, but I am more than halfway finished with it and am just pulling thread through fabric at this point. Before I knew it last night, I had completed the bottom alphabet and was thinking about moving on to the left side of the design, but I picked up the newly acquired library book instead and got a few pages into it.

So far, I think it will be a good story. I think I am probably in a bit of an Erin Morgenstern hangover since I just read the Starless Sea and The Night Circus (for the second time) back to back, and those are novels that...linger.

Maybe that's my problem? The fact that I am stuck in some magical place with gorgeous writing and fantastic characters and something unexpected around every corner in my brain, but my body is hauling itself through an endless loop of damn good, treatment, sleep, and too much food.

Oey...the way my head works drives me nuts sometimes.

In a few minutes I am going to get myself presentable to head to the salon to get a complimentary bang trim. If that doesn't make me feel better, nothing will. And, for extra good measure, I might hit the Starbucks drive-through for a little treat, even though it's not Friday and I haven't exactly earned it with my positively rotten attitude these last several days.

Hmmmm. Decisions, decisions.

I know that this is all going to pass, and that I need to take a breath and concentrate on all of the positives in my happy little life, but maybe a good old fashioned grump is what I need at the moment.

OK...fifteen minutes.  I'm going to go have a good grump for fifteen minutes and then we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming. Thank you for indulging me, Dearies. I hope your corner of the world is bright and cheerful today! Come tell me all about it!

18 comments:

  1. I'm not sure how well I would handle the constant battle with dialysis or the realities of waiting for a life giving donation to give you your life back but I'm pretty sure red hot anger would be high on the list.....so breathe and face it one minute at a time, maybe?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm Celina Gomez from Canada, i have been cured from genital herpes with herbalist sakura herbal medicine.
      i have been infected with Genital herpes for 1 year now , i have done so many medical treatment from different hospital still
      not cured.
      On a very good day , i decide  to make a research on my computer on how to get rid of my Genital herpes,i found a post of Sarah Wilson on how she was  cured from herpes with HERBALIST Sakura herbal remedy.
      The Herbalist email was there as well drsakuraspellalter@gmail.com +2348160802189. i contacted him for my Genital herpes infection.
      he needed few of my information and also send me his medicine through FedEx courier service.
      i received it after 3 working  days of shipment,i drink the  herbal medicine the same way Dr sakura instructed.
      but now my Genital herpes is gone totally without any side effect or harm, may God Almighty continuing to bless him abundantly .
      you can contact him on mail/ whats-app dr.sakuraspellalter@gmail.com +2348110114739 or follow him on Instagram @herbalist_sakura
      you can as well contact me for more information celinagomez784@gmail.com

      Delete
  2. hugs and hope for a better day! it's ok to have all the feelings - mad and angry - they have their place in all of this too.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Are you kidding Miss Connie? I would be bat crap crazy by now dealing with all you are having to deal with. Sometimes you just have to give in to the grump and let it work itself through. Trying to remain Rebecca of Sunnybrook can be very taxing in and of itself. Get mad, be pissy it may be just what is needed at the moment. That being said, prayers continue to flow your way so take heart dear.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Coni, no one ever said living with a chronic condition that you don't have much control over would be easy, pleasant or fun. We humans value our personal independence and freedom so while the fickle finger of fate messes with yours it's gonna make you feel not like your usual self. Remember though, you are resilient! Like Christopher Robin says, "You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." We're here for you. I keep you in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Coni, just writing to say I'm going through a slump at the moment too, but I know mine is from S.A.D.D. (February is my least favorite month of the year! It's always so gloomy.) Try sitting with a daylight lamp and see if that makes any difference. I've got mine going as we speak.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sending hugs and prayers your way. It's just fine to feel angry and lost and frustrated and all those awful things to feel. I view you with nothing but the utmost respect and hope that joy wings its way back to you super soon!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I agree with all the commenters, especially Jane. Every February I get the cranky blues. We had a warm sunny day recently and I sat outside for about twenty minutes and came in feeling 100% better. Spring is getting nearer !

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yup...the weather and its vagaries has something to do with it, on top of the challenges you usually face and overcome...
    So many are out with the bug that is circling our planet and
    are, in general, feeling down in the dumps... Consider yourself just one of the dumpster who will snap out of it once the sun shines, things warm up, and the fresh bangs and
    Starbuck's treat kick in. Grumpiness is the outlet needed for
    such down times...rejoice in it while you have an excuse !!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. You have had a long haul with major life issues and no end in sight. You need something to go your way for a change so that you don't have to face each day trying to keep your head above water and maintaining the "good positive patient" attitude. I think the way you feel is perfectly normal. I do know that when you think you can't hang on one more minute, that is when things are likely to change for the better. I really hope things start looking up for you, it is time.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hope the rest of your day went well or better! Get your grump on, let the Starbucks kick in and then be kind to yourself. Spring is around the corner, Coni!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm in the throes of that same gloom and doom. Might be something in the air? We'll all grump another 15 minutes and snap out of it!!!!! 😇

    ReplyDelete
  12. No worries - you are in good company with the blues and grumps. I'm blaming the weather - and it has been a constant pain in the behind since September. Rain rain rain. A couple of dry days in between if we are lucky and back to rain rain - oh and a bit of snow in November and back to rain rain and now a bit of sleet. We are hitting the vitamin D tablets! At least we are up high so not getting the floods. I think most people in the UK are grinning and bearing it while behind closed doors it'll be the big sulks! Until the sun shines and we'll be outside like little lambs bouncing all over the place! Big hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Do not beat up on yourself! I am not sure if you are able to walk or not, but I recommend a walk outside for 15 minutes. Nothing difficult, just a walk for 15 minutes. Fresh air and a little exercise. That should help with the mood and help with the food. The oxygen will renew you! You can do this! Your new life is right in front of you! Do not be afraid. We are here for you!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hello, I am sorry you are feeling unwell. How about trying some music while you are working? Sometimes just the music in the background is comforting. This is just a thought, because you have such a wonderful outlook most of the time, and this is a bad period of time for you. Music is healing. Find some you love and play it. Feel better soon!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I very much hope the rest of your week went better for you. And I am sure that most people who are dealing with everything you are would have their grumpy periods too. Keep your chin up :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. The Le_Meridian Funding Service went above and beyond their requirements to assist me with my loan which i used expand my pharmacy business,They were friendly, professional, and absolute gems to work with.I will recommend  anyone looking for loan to contact. Email..lfdsloans@lemeridianfds.com  Or lfdsloans@outlook.com.WhatsApp ... + 19893943740.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm Celina Gomez from Canada, i have been cured from genital herpes with herbalist sakura herbal medicine.
    i have been infected with Genital herpes for 1 year now , i have done so many medical treatment from different hospital still
    not cured.
    On a very good day , i decide  to make a research on my computer on how to get rid of my Genital herpes,i found a post of Sarah Wilson on how she was  cured from herpes with HERBALIST Sakura herbal remedy.
    The Herbalist email was there as well drsakuraspellalter@gmail.com +2348160802189. i contacted him for my Genital herpes infection.
    he needed few of my information and also send me his medicine through FedEx courier service.
    i received it after 3 working  days of shipment,i drink the  herbal medicine the same way Dr sakura instructed.
    but now my Genital herpes is gone totally without any side effect or harm, may God Almighty continuing to bless him abundantly .
    you can contact him on mail/ whats-app dr.sakuraspellalter@gmail.com +2348110114739 or follow him on Instagram @herbalist_sakura
    you can as well contact me for more information celinagomez784@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete