I don't have one darn clue what's wrong with me, Dearies, but something is decidedly "off" and has been for quite some time. I am just not my normal happy-go-stupid-lucky little self, and the resulting black cloud is starting to wear on me.
It's not the Black Dog, exactly, but rather a feeling of unwell and frustration and gloom and doom that is very foreign. I'm mad and short-tempered and nasty-thinking, and that is most definitely NOT like me.
In other words...I have a very healthy case of the mean reds instead of my normal blues.
But enough of that nonsense. We have places to go and things to do today, and the world has enough problems without me feeling grumpy, right? I need to belt myself across the chops and utter a good old "Snap out of it!" a la Miss Cher Her Very Self in the Moonstruck and be done with it.
I came home from treatment (which...let's face it...is probably at least 74% of the problem), ate enough lasagna to sink a battleship, and then went to bed at 7:15. I tossed and turned for a few hours and got up at midnight to sit in the Happy Chair to stitch and read:
The funny thing is that I'm not even sure I like the stitchy piece, but I am more than halfway finished with it and am just pulling thread through fabric at this point. Before I knew it last night, I had completed the bottom alphabet and was thinking about moving on to the left side of the design, but I picked up the newly acquired library book instead and got a few pages into it.
So far, I think it will be a good story. I think I am probably in a bit of an Erin Morgenstern hangover since I just read the Starless Sea and The Night Circus (for the second time) back to back, and those are novels that...linger.
Maybe that's my problem? The fact that I am stuck in some magical place with gorgeous writing and fantastic characters and something unexpected around every corner in my brain, but my body is hauling itself through an endless loop of damn good, treatment, sleep, and too much food.
Oey...the way my head works drives me nuts sometimes.
In a few minutes I am going to get myself presentable to head to the salon to get a complimentary bang trim. If that doesn't make me feel better, nothing will. And, for extra good measure, I might hit the Starbucks drive-through for a little treat, even though it's not Friday and I haven't exactly earned it with my positively rotten attitude these last several days.
Hmmmm. Decisions, decisions.
I know that this is all going to pass, and that I need to take a breath and concentrate on all of the positives in my happy little life, but maybe a good old fashioned grump is what I need at the moment.
OK...fifteen minutes. I'm going to go have a good grump for fifteen minutes and then we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming. Thank you for indulging me, Dearies. I hope your corner of the world is bright and cheerful today! Come tell me all about it!