Feb 26, 2020
Thank you for all of your support and encouragement. My grump is still here in full force, and I'm starting to feel like the lady in the antidepressant commercial that holds the smiley face sign up in public. As far as anybody else knows, I'm delightful. Only you (and Dr. Melfi) know the real truth.
Today is Ash Wednesday, so that means I will attempt Mass this afternoon, and I spent the better part of yesterday contemplating what I am going to do with myself for the next 40 days. My initial plan was "40 salads in 40 days". The I thought about 40 minutes of exercise 4 days a week for 40 days. And then 40 stitchy projects in 40 days.
I think, though, that what I want to do is just be accountable.
What this means exactly has yet to reveal itself fully, but I think it means that I want to pay attention to what I eat, what I think, what I do, and what I spend. I'm not exactly tearing it up in any of those areas of my life, so I feel like if attention is paid I might come out of this feeling pretty good about things.
I have a very small life. It's small but filled with some big hard things, and I have not been very good at managing those things. And, because I'm me, this makes me resentful and angry with myself that I have allowed a lane switch and I'm messing about with things that are not in my purview.
Enough of that.
The big hard things need attention and all of the other stupid crap that has me spinning needs to be jettisoned. And if I can't do that, I need to come up with a plan as to how I will tame the other stupid crap once and for all and just be done with it.
So that's the plan for this particular spinster's Lenten observance, Dearies. Accountability.
If you participate, I hope your next 40 days are exactly what you want them to be.
Back to enjoying the view for now!
Posted by Coni