Today just...sucked.
But when I went to Dr. Melfi, four baby deers came up to the bird feeder right outside the big floor to ceiling window to have a snack.
Four baby deers.
And the snow was softly falling and the baby deers were so close that I could almost reach out and pet them.
Baby deers.
And Dr. Melfi and I just sat there in lovely silence watching them, until it occurred to me that BabyDear was what I called Stewey and that he and I would watch the baby deers feed at our bird feeder at the house and I busted out into the ugly cry, hiccuped all over my old lady big top, and just let it...go.
Damn dog.
So now he's a baby deer.
As God is my witness, Dearies, I swear I am going to survive this. I might survive it with a headache and a rash on my face (did you know that stress can cause a rash on your face and pain on your scalp?), but survive it I will.
(And no....for all of you diligent and lovely medical pros who will write to tell me that it might be shingles...I did go to the urgent care and it is not, thank God, the shingles.)
(Just me being me.)
(But the while rash and sore scalp thing is new, so I have THAT going for me, which is nice.)
Enough.
Tomorrow is a new day.
I'm sorry this continues to be a tough time. I do feel like the baby deers were a nice sign that Stewey is with you.Your determination and perseverance will get you through this. Prayers that tomorrow is a better day! ♥️
ReplyDeleteMary
Grief -- the gift that keeps on giving. I am sure the ugly cry fellt awful but probably let out a bunch of the emotions that have been making you grumpy.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you also saw the beauty of the baby deer in the snow.
How lovely to see all those little deer. Sometimes nature tries to heal the yukkiness by throwing beauty right at you. Other times nature is mean, but for now and when you needed it, a little wonder turned up. Or 4 of them! Lots of hugs and hope you start feeling better soon. xxx
ReplyDeleteThere is just something so peaceful to baby deer! Sorry they caused you to have a good cry, but your system probably needed it. Sending you good thoughts and many hugs!
ReplyDeleteThoughts and prayers for you for continued strength and love.
ReplyDeleteDonna
Praying you through, dear one, believing that this, too, shall pass and you will feel more in tune with the coming Spring. You may not feel it, but in many ways you are greatly
ReplyDeleteblessed, Coni... Hold fast.
Breathe in and breathe out. Great thing that you were with Dr. Melfi!
ReplyDeleteFact: You are NEVER alone. Look at all the people that connect with you through your blog, your church, the shops you shop at, your many school friends, alumni etc. You are surrounded by people who have faith in you knowing that you will continue on your weight loss journey and your new kidney donation is looking for you just as much as you are looking for it. You will be brought together! All is well. You are surrounded by love always! Love is a powerful action. You are right in the middle of it! You are awesome, you are needed, you are loved!
Four baby deers! After all those 4's in your past post! Definitely a sign from you BabyDear. Big hugs for you!
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