Dec 29, 2018


Well, Dearies, we had a bit of dialysis drama here in Hoosierville.

I went for my treatment yesterday and got situated in my chair. The first/arterial needle went in well enough, but the second (and in my case longer) venus needle was causing all kinds of problems. Three different techs tried and tried, but no matter how much they monkeyed with just wasn't cooperating.

So they decided to try again, but much higher up on my arm...almost to the shoulder.

I thought I was doing remarkably well with the pain...thinking about stitching and Stewey and happy things, but a hard crash ensued and before I knew it, I was in an ambulance heading to the emergency room.

They though I was having a heart attack!


All I said was..."Gee, kids. I have a sharp ache traveling up my arm and under my collar bone, I can't seem to catch my breath, and I feel like an elephant is sitting on my chest." Before I knew it, I had oxygen in my nose, blue lips, an aspirin in my mouth, and the most handsome man I had ever seen lifting my left boozum to attach leads for an EKG.


Apparently, heart attacks in women are much more problematic, since our symptoms are so different. I personally think that we just manage pain differently. Men clutch their chests and fall down. We take a moment to fix our lipstick and wash a load of towels on our way out the door because we've got things to do, after all.

I got checked out stem to stern at the hospital and came home with a headache and the desire to just go to bed for the duration, which is exactly what I did. 

No heart attack, thank God. Just a "syncopal episode brought on by pain". In layman's terms...I passed out because it hurt so bad it fritzed my tiny little brain.

I will try again tomorrow. This time I will speak up if I feel like it's getting away from me, rather than grit my teeth and breathe through it, if for no other reason that I really don't want to ride out of the pod on a guerney with lights and sirens and my fanny flapping in the breeze.

( a patient who has felt that panic and helplessness watching a podmate be carted off...I don't want to do that again. It really is very upsetting.)

So that's the news I have for you today. We are scheduled to head out to watch the Cotton Bowl (GO IRISH!) at a local establishment, but I need to get my wits about me first.

I hope things in your corner of the world are consideranly quieter and that you get to do everything your heart desires this weekend! Do something fun know!


  1. Glad you were checked out and are basically okay. Sooooo sorry you had to do the ambulance thing. I did it once and it was a very negative experience. Rest and just are in my thoughts.
    I hope the game ends with the Irish winning!

  2. What a traumatic experience - so sorry you had to go through that. I'm certainly glad it wasn't a heart attack, though. (I guess next time you need to let them know when the pain is like that, although I hope there won't be a next time!) I hope you can have a fun relaxing day today.

  3. Goodness gracious! You do make the most of your dialysis days, don't you?! Please DO speak up next time, though. No need to be brave and soldiery once you are in the chair. You have to do enough of that just to get yourself to dialysis many, many days each and every week.
    It's just like you to have a horrific tale to tell, but to tell it in such a way that your phrasing makes me laugh out loud. "lifting my left boozum," indeed.

  4. I feared something askew. You are our faithful friend communicator , and silence made me think something was off the tracks in Hoosierville. I kept hoping it involved fun, but knew something was different. Glad it was not your heart! You continue to amaze me, dear friend.

  5. Thankful that it was not a heart attack..sometimes toughing it out is not the best course. Hope you fully recover your wits before screaming your head off at the game. Back to a
    more relaxed weekend for you m'Lady.

  6. Eeow! Yes, we women put ourselves last. Please, please change that. We love you and worry when you go quiet. Try to take it easy, and don't push yourself. In fact, baby yourself for a change. Happy stitching.

  7. Fingers crossed for you to have a smooth connection next time.

  8. Keeping you in my prayers & at least you got a gorgeous Cabana boy out of it :-)

  9. Happy you are safe and sound! Enjoy those fighting Irish and your Jersey boy. Relax and have a wonderful afternoon!

  10. O. M. G.

    I'm stunned and in awe that you could experience an event like that and apparently bounce back so quickly. I think I'd be in bed for a month feeling sorry for myself.

    One day, if you feel like investing the time, I wonder if you could post about your attitude to pain and illness. I am the world's worst patient primarily because I get extremely anxious when I'm not feeling well. I think something dreadful must be happening and the end of the world is nigh. That's because I don't experience ill health very often; when I do it feels like my focus should be entirely on it until the issue is addressed and everything is back to normal. I was helped by a psychologist telling me one day that in complex systems, it's quite unusual for every part of the system to be working perfectly. She quoted a statistic that during the Apollo mission to the moon, the entire system was only working perfectly 4% of the time - yet (i) the mission was successful and (ii) that didn't represent a major crisis: it's what the scientists and engineers would have expected. That helped me a great deal. Human bodies are complex systems and it's probable that every aspect of them is working 'perfectly' only a very small percentage of the time. So, when I experience systems of some kind of illness, I shouldn't think of it as an automatic crisis: it may well be (and indeed, is most likely to be) a minor upset that the system itself will address with the passage of time - possibly assisted by medical intervention. There's no need to focus on it.

    You have experienced long episodes of significant health issues and appear to cope incredibly. I wonder what your underlying beliefs about your health and body and the medical system are and how they impact your ability to manage your state of mind.

    After all of that ... I hope you have a wonderful day today.

    Sydney, Australia

  11. I have been thinking about you all day yesterday and today! I was concerned but didn't know I know. Glad you are okay now!

  12. I'm so sorry to hear about yesterday's struggle. Glad to know they acted promptly to what could have been and found out all was well. But, I agree, I hope you can avoid a repeat of that experience. Good luck with the next treatment. How soon do Buzzy and whats it get repaired?

  13. I watched the Garth Brooks concert on tv and was (almost, except with the weather so cold I was pretty sure you weren't ) hoping you were there live and in person and having a gay old time. Well, another day, darn it.
    I've been catching up on your blog (been absent far too long) and I must say you have a heck of a lot if challenges for yourself in 2019! I can't even motivate to finish a couple sewing projects, let alone match your goals. Think I might get some ice cream and ponder the whole thing. I LOVE the idea of reading the Pulitzer winners! And as always, am curious to see what the Stitchy Basket has in store. Keep positive Stitchy Sister!

  14. Oh Coni, my thoughts and prayers continue to be with you. Best wishes with today's treatment and yes you need to speak up if the pain is bad. Glad to hear you were checked out and are relatively okay.

  15. Yikes.

    and also, "the most handsome man . . . " What??? What about Jeffrey Dean Morgan? Perhaps your oxygen starved brain forgot about him?

    Happy to hear it wasn't a heart attack.

    Susan Anonyouse

  16. My heart aches when I read about your dialysis trauma. You are a warrior Coni.

  17. God bless you dear as I get tears in my eyes.

  18. You should seriously consider compiling your blogs into a book! You have a great ability to tell heart wrenching stories of pain with laugh out loud humor. You remain in my prayers.

  19. Oh Coni, you are my hero! No one else I know could go through what you have been through and still keep their sense of humour!! Hope your New Year is lovely and things settle down for you and Buzzy! xxoo

  20. So glad you are ok! And I almost choked at the "left boozum" part. You are too funny!