Sep 24, 2017



Mass was actually very beautiful, and I'm very glad that we went, but there were a few minor hiccups.

(Wait a minute.  Have we MET?!  There were a few majorly catastrophic hicups, and the shame and humiliation of them will follow me to my death.)

(Which will probably happen prematurely because I am a nutjob of epic proportions and can stress myself into a stroke with the best of them, or my poor old broken down porty body will finally once and for all say "Eh...screw it" and give up the ghost.)

Error #1: wardrobe.

Rich, of course, looked completely dashing in black slacks and a black golf shirt.  I (you guessed it) looked like a total schlumpadink in my seersucker pants and old lady big top.

Which was also black.

This in itself wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't have the movie playing in my head all the time about being so completely inept in the public, because somewhere between the opening procession of priests and the whole welcome to church thing, I thought "My God.  We look like the freaking Addams family."

Error #2: throwing away the weekly issue of "Today's Catholic" that gets stuffed in my mailbox every Tuesday without reading it.

THEY CHANGED STUFF!!  And by stuff, I mean how you're supposed to respond and pray and gesture and....

Holy crap.  51 years of saying and doing the same stuff, and they go and change it up on me.

Error #3: not getting the damn handicap tag so that I can park closer than eighteen miles away

Much like the scooter at the grocery store, I refuse to get one of those damn placards.  I keep telling myself that they are only for people that really need them, but then I try to walk more than seven feet in 90 degree heat and I want to die.

(Which would be convenient, since the Basilica is where I hope my funeral will be.)

So now we're home.  The laundry is sploshing, the footballers are footballing, and I am contemplating a nap, some pool time, and some stitching (in that order).  With any luck I'll have a full seven days before we do this all over again.

Happy Sunday, Dearies!  Hope you are doing whatever makes you happy today!


  1. Well Coni, every few years I feel the urge to return to Catholicism. The last time I did Mass, the following week His Holliness quit. A coincidence you say, I think not. So, you are ahead of me.

    1. Janet, you just cracked me up. Thanks for that!

    2. Evelyn: I know it cracked me up, but it is true....

  2. Select an appealing "you can't go wrong" outfit kept in readiness for such an occasion..Do they not have "missal" booklets in the pew? Get thyself the handicap placard...
    a Godsend..... Sounds as though God smiled to see you and
    Rich partaking.... and I would guess you looked better than you think. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday....well-

  3. Now that I've crawled up onto the UN-comfy couch (I ended up on the floor because I was laughing too hard at your descriptions). Get the damn parking tag this WK!!
    I have 2, one for my car one for my sons jeep. I am thankful for it because by the time I wobble out of the grocery store I need to fall on my car seat. I probably should use one of those "scooter" things in the store but they are so slow I'd never get out alive.
    In FL you get a paper from DMV bring to your Dr, they sign, you bring back to DMV & they kindly give you 2 tags. It takes all of 5 min out here in the boonies.
    Im sure you and Gomez looked fabulous & who cares if you weren't spot on with what ever the "new" thing is in church. The Lord was happy you made the time & effort to be there.

  4. Good for you for going! Yes, there have been some big changes to that old Baltimore with your spirit lol. Thankfully, the days of getting wacked by Sr. Angrypuss are long gone, so go ahead and say it like you know...Jesus doesn't care about all of the bells and whistles, he's just happy that you came.
    Have a great day

  5. Coni, just because you HAVE a placard, doesn't mean you have to use one. I have good days and bad days. When I'm having a bad day, I use mine. When I'm having a good day, I park as close as I can and let someone who's having a bad day use the parking place. I have the handicap license plate AND a placard in case someone wants to drive me somewhere, because the placard can change cars.

  6. I hate to break it to you dear Spinster, but I think you just might have fallen into the category of those who might actually need a placard! And like others have said ... having a great day and find a close spot then just don't use it! Have a great swimmy time for me too.

  7. Brave to actually go to church after an absence of a few...decades??? God was so happy to see you come and visit - and that is what matters. God is happy to hear your voice no matter where you are when you pray but I have always believed God is paying more attention when we are at some holy spot. And if you could pray in Latin, which Sister Mary Bend-your-knees once told us was God's native language, you may get a quicker response. So happy you went! And could show your face again, if you so chose!

  8. Handicapped placards were made with this point of your life in mind. After foot surgery I got a temporary one at the Auto Club -- didn't have to brave the lines at the DMV. Just take the form signed by you doctor. No sweat.

  9. Don't feel bad about not knowing the changes. All churches are not the same as before. Some of them have went back to some of the old ways and some have changed to their way of doing things I have went weekly for yrs and still missed some of the changes. I don't always go to my home church due to babysitting grandchildren or being out of town.

  10. I'm chiming in with agreement about "just because you have it, doesn't mean you have to use it" comments about the handicap placard. They are made to put up & take down as needed. On days you find a close parking spot, or it's not too hot, or you are able to walk a bit farther, WooHoo! But for those other days, it might mean the difference between going places and getting things done or turning around and going home.

  11. I am sure you looked fine! And get that tag!! And I am with you on them changing all the responses. I only go once a year so I haven't even bothered to learn the new responses. I just say the old ones in my head. Just as good right? :)

  12. I getting it? I think Morticia and Gomez were a strikingly attractive couple, weren't they? Sort of elegant, right?
    Our Priest often says, "Come to a Church, come to's only an hour, for goodness sakes!" But I do not agree, necessarily. You have to ignore the great television that's on, late on Saturday, and get to bed early. Your hair has to be right. Your clothes have to be clean and pressed. If you're really tired from your hectic're doing it's really a sacrifice of greater proportion...and God loves you even more for the effort...
    So...the Lord be with you...and with your spirit...