I blame all of you for what happened, actually.
You...with all of your "Oh, Spinster Stitcher you're so wonderful and perfect and witty and smart. You can do anything you want and it will always come out looking like a fabulous bouquet of bargello roses."
OK, maybe it went a little off the rails at the end there, but you get my point.
All of this love and encouragement lead me down the path that told me that I DESERVED to sit with my paper and coffee yesterday morning before the test and that I was EXEMPT from the instructions that told me not to eat or drink anything after midnight.
"It's just a little Starbucks French Roast" I rationalized. "Besides, by the time I get dressed and we get to the place and they get the I.V. started it'll be fine."
You know what it was?
It was all over the floor and the anasethesia nurse and the front of my hospital gown, because when they tell you not to eat or drink anything after midnight they aren't playing around and you should really listen to them because you can die when you do that under anasethesia and nobody and I mean nobody is exempt from those kind of rules not even stupid spinsters who have fan clubs in their heads that tell them they're wonderful and that they should drink the Starbucks.
The good news is that I did not, in fact, die, and it looks like things are as they should be in there for now.
The better news is that I learned my lesson and am now back to the quivering mess of doubt and insecurity that you've come to know and love.
Today is definitely a recovery day. I used to bounce back pretty quick from colonoscopies in years past, but methinks a combination of age and kidney disease has made them a little bit harder. Well, that and the humiliation that I redecorated the procedure room at Michiana Endoscopy in front of my new gut doc didn't help matters any, but whadda ya gonna do?
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go drink my coffee and read my paper and not have a repeat performance of yesterday. When that is finished and the puzzles have been adequately dispatched I'm going to head up to the studio to play with my stash and find my next project.
Here's hoping that things in your corner of the world are quiet and lovely today. Happy Friday, kids!