Aug 9, 2011


It all started when some (insert dirty word here) hacked my email accounts and then sent crazy messages to everybody I've ever corresponded with (up to and including the customer service team at Clinique).

Many many thanks go out to those of you who got one of these messages and replied "Hey, Spinster Stitcher! Looks like you've been hacked, girlfriend! What a crappy thing to happen to you! Chin up!".

A big fat "REALLY?!" goes out to the people who've known me for 25 years, yet still felt it necessary to send a "Don't ever send me stuff like this again" email, or decided to tell me that they thought it highly inappropriate that a spinster would sell a "sex drug".

Yesterday, just as I thought we were turning a corner around here, I was rudely jolted from a deep deep sleep by the sound of a huge herd of young men with ladders clanging about in the back yard.

(Apparently my house is getting painted and this is the crew that has been entrusted with things.)

(Somebody remind me to send a big fat muffin basket to the HOA.)

From what I can tell, the oldest member of the Painting Crew that Hails from the Seventh Circle of Hell is young enough to breastfeed, so I'm not thoroughly optimistic. When you combine that with the fact that the leader of the group thought it hilarious to stand on the patio and taunt Stewey into barking himself hoarse, I was sorely tempted to unleash my inner bee-yatch and send 'em all home and then call their mothers.

At quitting time, they packed up their iPods and Red Bulls and left all of their crap strewn about the place, so I'm guessing that we're going to have a repeat performance today. (And, yes, just in case you were wondering.... I was too busy looking up at the pretty pretty clouds today to notice whether or not Stewey decided to pee on said crap when he went out for his morning constitutional.)

Today I am prepping for a "procedure", which means I am only permitted clear liquids. This means, of course, that the splitting headache has started, and I am compelled to stand in front of the open refrigerator to look at all of the lovely things I cannot shove into my gaping maw. Like ham. Or bing cherries. Or leftover spaghetti.

I'm normally a real trooper when it comes to this "procedure", so I'm not sure why I've got the big baditude today. I will, however, remedy this tomorrow when I tell Dr. Mark "If you see Jimmy Hoffa in there, please give him my regards", just as he's hitting me up with the Fentenal and Versed.

(I usually say "See you on the other side, Ray", but I seem to be the only person who gets that obscure Ghostbusters reference. This, of course, kinda takes the fun out of it.)

Aunt Chrissy has promised to take me to the Barnes & Nobles this weekend so that I might look for books on planetary alignment and/or astrology. I am assuming that Grumpy has entered my seventh house of Discontent and the rising tide of Are You Effing Kidding Me has caused my sense of Crazy to go into overdrive.

Or something like that.

Don't cry for me Argentina. All will be right again soon. Methinks Stewey and I will retreat to the studio today armed with a vat of dietCoke and You've Got Mail for company. I'm about seven stitches away from completing Beekeeper's Cottage, so hopefully there will be pictures and Happy Dances in my future!

Here's hoping that things in your corner of the world are a little less....fraught.


  1. Oh My Goodness... well I got hacked by the same crap you did just 2 weeks ago!! Had to apologize to all my fb friends and relatives. Ran around trying to put out any fires it may have started. Was glad to find it was easy to fix the prob by changng my pw on my acct. I hope there is nothing serious going on with your health and your procedure comes out just fine. Wishing you a speedy recovery. I just love to read your blog... you have a great sense of humor. You remind me alot of my daughter.

  2. The HOA needs to hire the guys that do house painting around here--FIREFIGHTERS. Several of the station houses have organized paint crews and whoever isn't working is on the crew that day...

    Much better that what you got!

    I hope Stewey's voice is better...

  3. Dear Spinster, please take care of yourself, and good good luck with your procedure. Barnes & Noble, I envy you!

  4. Don't talk to me about "fraught" and especially don't talk to me about Barnes & Noble! I need Stewey to go pee on some of their books! UGH!

  5. Relax...I have great confidence that all will go well tomorrow...stitching and procedure wise.

    And just think how fresh your house will look after the "kids" get through with it.

    Take care.

  6. My...those clouds can be SO distracting, can't they. Hope they put their hand in it. Mommy lovin' and treats should get him back in the pink! Speaking of pink, good luck with your "procedure" :D

  7. I think you might be looking a gift horse in the mouth.... there might be quite a tidy profit in selling sex drugs - which could translate into some lovely new charts and threads!!!

    Stewey - Tilly, Kinda, and Simon all give you "two paws up" for bravely guarding the homestead!

    Happy Stitching!

  8. Good luck with the "procedure" and here's to a good weekend bookshopping with your sister.

    Sounds like you are doing a little bit better than you were last week.

    Looking forward to see your finish with the bee!

  9. Good luck with the "procedure"...hope everything goes well. I hope stewey did pee on those guys stuff! LOL

  10. It is amazing how much younger everyone is looking - can't be that I am getting older....

    Good luck on your "procedure", eat plenty of fun stuff over the weekend to compensate for today. You earned it!

    Good idea to hole up in a safe place while the chaos continues!

  11. the best part is the drugs so give in and enjoy the sleep

  12. Oh wow! At least you kept your sense of humor. The older I get, the younger everyone else looks, so I feel your pain on that one. I think the guys that pack my groceries look like they should still be breast feeding!

    I had a moment of cussing last night when the pipe under the downstairs toilet decided to start washing the walls in the bathroom...a phone call to hubby and all was well though. So THAT`S what that little valve is for!!!

    Hope your procedure goes well...I too hate those things, but we must put a brave face on it. Just cuss the doc under your breath. Works for me!

    Kisses to Stewey and Bosco....

  13. I suspected already Stewey to sell It is annoying to get hacked though. A site I'm member off got hacked and they got my credit card information from there. Thank goodness my CC company picked it up and called me in the early morning hours. My CC was toast and I had to get a new one. They also tried to enter several other sites, like emptying my Apple account etc. Very very annoying it is.
    Good on Stewey to pee on that stuff left behind. Please give him a cookie from me for that.
    Good luck with your procedure. These are no fun.

  14. Laugh in the face of adversity!

    If they enjoy teasing poor Stewey you should borrow a large scary dog and let him loose next tiem they start!

    Hope it all goes well with the "procedure".

  15. I am reminded of just how crazzzzzy a Jack Russell can get. Any chance that Stewey can accidentally be let out when the teasing starts again? Morons really annoy me.

  16. OMFG!! You are so freekin funny and can turn my day around just by my reading your blog. I want to come out there to spinster land and just squeeze you!!! I mean it... if it weren't for you I would be locked up right now for killing the warden(i.e. my husband!)Thank you ...a diet coke truck will arrive promptly to show my graditude for your wonderful sense of humor!

  17. Hope it went well and your insides are all cream-colored like they are supposed to be! And smooth, let's not forget no lumps or polyps.

  18. I have neighbors who hate dogs so much that they report every barking dog in the neighborhood. I've often thought that justice would be served if their house was broken into. Anyhow, their son, who's maybe 7, likes to walk up to the fence and taunt my dogs. Being the good dogs that they are, they come along promptly when called. But they can't even enjoy their own yard when that kid is out in his. Someday, that kid is going to taunt the wrong dog and the dog is going to retaliate. Sadly, this is a stupid world, so the dog will be faulted regardless of what the little demon did to it. So as tempting as it must be to let Stewey out, I don't recommend it. I hope you're resting comfortably this weekend.

  19. Deborah says....

    Hmmm....sounds like maybe you mean "It's just the apo-collapse!"

    Now that I have my very own gmail account, I can comment even when my DH is not around to provide me with his VERY complicated password.

    Love your stitching and your blogging!

  20. Well, I sure hope the "procedure" went ahhhhhhh.... well and I know that you are glad it is over.

    I've been watching the video of the horrible accident at the Indiana State Fair. Such a tragedy and it's not good that it happened in your own happy little home state.

    Here's wishing you a much better week than you had last week!