Aug 8, 2011


My mom can't come to the blog right now. She's out trying to find a big fat bunch of sage to use to cleanse the house. (She saw that on a TeeVee show once and figured that anything was worth a try to get rid of whatever bad karma is floating around the place these last few days.)

We thought that this week would get off to a better start than the last one did, but alas, it was not to be. At approximately 6:30 this morning, I tapped her on the shoulder and then projectile-upchucked all over the freshly laundered sheets. I felt really bad about it, but I have to say that the old lady was a real trooper and didn't yell or get upset or swat my heiney or anything like that. She just jumped out of bed, stripped off the sheets, and then ran them into the washing room and popped them into the new machine.

(I didn't want to say anything, but my upset tummy is entirely HER fault. She was having a Jeffrey Dean Morgan movie marathon yesterday, and every time I tried to interrupt her for something, she said "Here, have a cookie and go be quiet for a little bit longer." Then, when she took a lunch break, she decided to give me a tiny little piece of the fancypants buffalo chicken deli meat that she and my Aunt Chrissy are addicted to, and then once the movie-watching started again, she went back to the cookies.)

For the record....I AM A DOG and will eat cookies until I get sick to my tummy, which is exactly what I did.

So that was how we started the day.

After things had settled down a little, Mom decided to go out to the garden to see what she could do about fixing the tomato plants. We had a storm yesterday, and the combination of wind and rain did a real number out there. So, armed with some perle cotton and her best intentions, out she went to start propping stuff up. Let's just say that it did not go well, and I saw vines and leaves and tomatoes flying through the air, along with some very salty language.

Gardening is definitely NOT on the old lady's color wheel.

We did manage to get the house tidied up, but not before I pointed out that the water machine in the kitchen had peed all over the floor again. (It did this on Thursday, and the resulting mopping and grunting and sweating and cursing that ensued trying to rectify the situation were almost more than I could bear.) This time, Mom just stood there with a defeated look on her face and then she headed to the closet for her cleaning outfit that consists of eighteen year old bike shorts and a Notre Dame t-shirt that she fished out of the rag bin.

It took every ounce of strength I had to make sure that the blinds were closed and that she didn't wander out to the driveway where the neighbors would see her. (We've got enough trouble with these people thinking she's an idiot without adding any fuel to THIS particular fire. Trust me.)

I almost don't have the heart to tell Mom that it looks like the cable box is broken. I decided to watch a little TeeVee a few minutes ago, but I can't seem to get it to turn on properly. I just keep getting an error message and then when I try to call the Comcast the line rings busy.

Maybe she'll decide to read instead and won't notice.

I do have a little stitchy progress to show. Here's Beekeeper's Cottage by Shepherd's Bush:

That's all the news from Lake Woebespinster today. I hope that things in your world are considerably peachier!

With love from your pal,


  1. Just another good reason that the month of August stinks! (Stop by my blog and see why....)

    Let me know if the sage works. I may have to run out and get some!

  2. That is it!!! I have been trying to figure out what was wrong with me.. I think it is happening everywhere... Hope you and Mo-ther have a better week!

  3. Between the heat and the plummeting stock market/economy, we should all crawl back into our big-girl sleigh beds and cover our heads until September comes....just saying.

  4. Oh, boy. So sorry to hear of your tummy troubles, Stewey, and Mother's troubles at the house. Yes, it does seem to be going around. I too am ready to run away from home. Let's hope things will be looking up soon!

  5. OH NO! Did I hear pearl cotton and tomato plants in the same sentence. I did this last year and completely ruined every last one. The thread started cutting into the vines and KILLED THEM! The farmer down the road told me to use wide stripes of rags. I ended up using old pantyhose. Worked like a charm. - Sincerely, Farmer Gray

  6. Gosh Stewey didn't you ever hear the old adage, "Never upchuck where you sleep???" Poor bubby, glad you're well enough to entertain us all this morning...we needed it and you never seem to disappoint. Thank you, feel better.

  7. Stewey, Stewey, Stewey, Stewey. Over here, it's just the other way around. The old lady is suffering from Happy Bunny Sydrom, and I'm... not. What's your secret? Pills? Or is it the sage?

    Stay positive, my friend. That's the only way.


  8. Here's hoping your aura cleanse works. If not, I hear vacations at resort spas can do wonders for the tortured soul.

  9. Stewey, I am sorry you are not feeling well, but it sounds like it is a short term illness, and that is good. Tell your mo-ther that I hope things start going better for her, and that I think her Beekeeper's Cottage is gorgeous!!

  10. Bee Keepers cottage is looking beautiful!

  11. Those sage thingies are called smudge sticks. I don't know if Whole Foods would have them, but you could google to see where to get them online. I swear by them, even if it's just the act of burning them and wandering around the house that makes me feel better. Whatever works! Feel better, you two.

  12. Oh Stewey: I am so sad for your Mom, I do hope things get better, I do love her stitching it is lovely now go give her a great big hug and kiss she really needs it.

  13. I can't count the number of times my dogs have upchucked on our bed - especially awful when it's in the middle of the night and hubby wakes you up to tell you the dog threw up. You've got my sympathies! One of our dogs has a sensitive stomach too so I really have to watch what we give her. That's life with animals I guess!

    Beekeeper's Cottage is coming right along and very cute. You'll be posting a finish soon I can see.

  14. Stewey, sorry about your upset tummy hope you are feeling better. Also hope mo-ther's attempt at finding sage and/or other cleansing efforts are successful. Sounds as though y'all had enough for a while. Thank you for bringing us up-to-date. Cathryn

  15. Mama told me there'd be days like these. I just didn't realize there would be so many of them. I hope the sage works.

  16. It`s days like that that make me wonder if I fell into an alternate universe a la Deep Space Nine. I find a shot of whiskey, a good book and a soft bed makes all the difference.

    I love your Beekeepers Cottage!! Hope the tummy settles soon Stewey *kisses his widdle head*