Sep 20, 2010


So here we are on a Monday and I am contemplating the meaning of life and when it was exactly that we all lost our damn minds.

Oddly enough, just a few short days after I wrote about the crap in my house and how it's not worth breaking into, my neighbors were hit. At 3am they awoke to find somebody trying to come into a side window, presumably to ransack and steal everything they could carry while my neighbors slept in their bed. The police were called and responded quickly, of course, but in the words of Tony Soprano..."What are you gonna do?". There was nothing to do except note that there were footprints and that "things like this don't normally happen around here".

Here in crazypants Spinsterville, Stewey awoke at 3am and barked his little head off. I was peeved rather than alarmed and hollered at him to go back to bed already. Then I grumbled something incomprehensible and fell back to sleep.

This morning, I found footprints on my patio.

The thing that you should know about me is that if you knocked on my door and asked me for money, or a drink of water, or a ham sandwich, I would probably invite you in and then tell you to have some tea and tell me all about it. I'm stupid that way, actually. I believe that, for the most part, people are good and just want to live their lives the best way they can. And if I have something that you absolutely need, all means, please help yourself.

So the idea that somebody out there feels the need to come snooping in the wee hours of the morning makes me very sad. And yes, totally creeped out and terrified. Aunt Chrissy has already fielded eleven calls from me asking when we can go to Lowe's to get boards cut for the windows, and I've called every electrician in town to find out how fast they can light my house up like a Christmas tree. I want it bright, I tell ya. Bright enough to land a small plane on my driveway. Bright enough to see me and my tasteful landscaping from space.

I know that this economy has kicked us all in the proverbial cherries, and I know that there are a lot of people out there who are addicts, hungry, greedy, or just plain dirtballs. But why the heck can't we seem to pull together through this mess instead of have to put bars on our windows and carry pepper spray? In short...why can't we just all get along?

OK, there's my bleeding heart liberal moaning for the day. The cranky spinster in me is now ready to spring into action and lock this freakin' place down like Fort Knox, and I intend to put a huge sign on every window in my house that says...WARNING: THIS HOUSE IS PROTECTED BY A WEAPON, A DOG, AND ONE VERY PISSED OFF SPINSTER WHO ISN'T GOING TO TAKE YOUR CRAP ANYMORE. GO THE EFF AWAY ALREADY AND LET ME GET BACK TO MY NEEDLEPOINT.

Please don't cry for me Argentina. Life has already started to return to normal this morning. I see that Stewey has peed on the drapes, the people across the street are landscaping for the seventeenth time, and I'm contemplating what to have for lunch.

Weekend update! Aunt Chrissy twisted my arm (very fiercely, I might add), and somehow we ended up at Michael's with a few completed projects in tow for the framing department. Although my taste is all in my mouth when it comes to picking out frames, I think I did OK with my selections this time, but I'll let you be the judge of that when I pick it all up in a few weeks.

So there you have it...the Monday report from Chez Spinster. Aside from a few frazzled nerves and one very smug little dog, we're hurtling our way into the week as usual. Woo Hoo!


  1. Oh my, good boy Stewey!!! Mo-ther should feel really bad since you were doing such a good job and trying to tell her something was outside!

    Coni-get a security system!

  2. Oh my you sound like I come home from Pre-K every morning all Pi$$ed off at the way people drive all I want is for us all to get along but everyone seems to be: cutting each other off, honking, flying birds out of windshields and side windows...shaking fists...yelling horrible words that begin with F....
    But what do you expect when we live in a "it's all about ME" society. I tell you, one day I'll turn into a pillar of salt...that's how bad I think its gotten...

  3. I'm glad you're OK. The single best deterrent against home invasion, according to the policemen I spoke with after our apt. had been invaded years ago, is a dog. The more noise they make, the faster the creeps will leave.

  4. That would creep me out as well...glad it didn't go any further than footprints on your patio!

    I agree with C in DC about the doesn't have to be a big, hulking Rottweiler, just something that makes noise. The creeps on the outside don't know if that barking dog is an ankle-biter or an arm-ripper-offer...any dog makes a good deterrent. Yay for Master Stewey!

  5. Congrats to Stewey!! How scary though - I don't think I would be sleeping well for a long time! Hopefully you reported this to the police as well.

    Here's to bright lights and barking dogs!!

  6. I agree with all of it and my heart got all tense just reading about your weekend! UGH!! Darn those BAD PEOPLE!!
    And I have a dog... a beautiful white miniature schnauzer....that DOESNT BARK!!! :0) We know she can but she doesnt. (sigh) So since you have all said a dog is the best deterrent well guess that means (BIG SMILE) I get to get another DOG!! Wahoo!! Not like I needed an excuse or anything! Just one more reason to tell my hubby on my list of growing reasons WHY I want another dog! So glad your okay and STEWEY - YOU are DA-MAN!! Good job taking care of your mommy! Hope the week gets tons better!

  7. Master Stewey should be rewarded a treat !!! Dogs are the best ! Plus it helps to have that GUN handy at all times. These times we are in are getting worst. Take Care Coni !

  8. If I were Stewey, I would ask for a trip to Pet Smart for a reward! Another Fall themed toy - I'm a thinking!

    The fact that some one was outside just flat jerks my chain! What is this world coming to?

    Can't wait to see your framed items!

    Smiles - Denise

  9. Good boy Master Stewey !!! I vote for a dog and an alarm system. As soon as the siren starts they will usually take off.

  10. OMG. Hopefully you called the police and they'll be in the neighborhood at roughly the same time for awhile. Scary!

    Good job, Stewey!

  11. I'm glad you're ok! Dear, brave Stewey just earned that be-jeweled collar he selected from the Tiffany catalog.

    Seriously though: call Brinks or some other security company and get yourself a nice alarm system. And some nice outdoor spotlights, especially the motion-detecting kind. And a pretty, pearl-handled revolver is a nice addition to any lady's night table, assuming it's not illegal to own a handgun there (in some states, only the bad people can own guns...).

  12. So glad you both are OK! Keep up the good work Stewey!

  13. Hooray for Stewey protecting his Mo-ther. Hope you let the police know about the footprints - maybe they'll start patrolling your neighborhood. Were you able to take advantage of Michael's 60% off custom framing? Thinking about driving 1 hour to the closest Michael's with a bunch of my stitching to take advantage of the sale. Be sure to show and tell when you get your items back.

  14. Yay for Stewey!!! I would have been frightened to know that there were footprints outside my home. Yikes. I have a big lab and a small mini daschund, and although they would probably lick someone to pieces if they came in the house, they bark enough that it would probably scare them away. The our mail person is terrified of them. CANNOT wait to see your framed pieces!!! Please keep yourself and Stewey safe!

  15. I said a quick prayer for your safety and peace of mind.

    Go get em, Stewey!

  16. Glad to hear you are both OK. Way to go Stewey!

    Motion detector lights are a plus!

  17. SOOO sorry to hear of the problems in your 'hood. I know it's hard to focus on much else when your security is at risk.

    One thing I must implore of you all is not to get ripped off by going to the big box craft stores for custom framing. I own a gallery and frame shop and it kills us in the custom framing industry when some one talks about the great deal they got at the big box.

    In all honesty, their prices after the discount tend to be 10% higher than your local mom and pops framer. So, we're cheaper and typically offer better service and quality.

    So now when the man catches the bad eggs harassing your neighborhood, you can rest assured the local frame shop can do a superior job framing the headline in the local paper.

    Good luck to you.

  18. I love the wording for your sign in the window! You could sell window clings with that phrase and fund a life of luxury for Stewey!!

    Stay safe!

  19. It was scary to read this. There is a lot more crime out there due to the economy. On one of the boards I belong to, there are reports of women having milk and other groceries stolen out of their carts as they are loading their cars. One lady said her friend had her ENTIRE cart of groceries stolen. So everyone, be careful while shopping as well as at home! Try not to shop alone if you can or don't park next to vans and suvs where people can hide ad jump out at you. At home, dogs and alarms help as early warning. (I have a 7 dog alarm early warning system and a 20 round defense system!) But look into taking a RAD (Rape Aggression Defense) class and learn to defend yourself! It's an awesome course for women and you can usually find one through the local police dept.

  20. I'm so sorry this happened, Coni. Glad you're safe. Please take care!!

  21. I would be completely freaked out Coni! As a woman living alone, you do need a security system...self defense training is good, but I also recommend getting a nice .45 and learning how to use it. Practice loading and unloading and spend some time target practicing. My husband and I each have a gun in our bedside tables. God help the burglar that enters our home...I am a crack shot and I like to aim for the gonads...

    God bless Stewey! *kisses his widdle head*

  22. Good for Stewey! I think Grace would either sleep through an incident (unless a rogue squirrel wanted in at 3 am then all heck would break loose) or make friends with the bad guys... she loves everyone. Who knows? Maybe bad guy decided it wasn't worth trying to get into your house because of the fuss Stewey was making.

    Times are tough right now, but like Vonna I have noticed for a long time that people are quite self-centered and cranky and just plain unkind.

    I like your idea of lighting up your place and you might want to think about a security system too.

    I'm glad you're safe.