IT'S A BIRD! IT'S A PLANE! IT'S A SPINSTER FLYING BY ON HER BROOMSTICK!

Where in the holy h-e-double toothpicks is the year going? I seem to be stuck somewhere back in February, planning all of the stuff I need/want to do once the weather warms up. And now, here it is June, and I've yet to accomplish one single solitary thing.

Damn, drat, and phooey.

I reflect upon my childhood...those innocent days of youth spent on the back porch swings reading books and smelling the fresh cut grass. Every summer was an adventure in how many books I could read, or movies I could see, or bike rides I could take, or sunburns I could suffer through. (I mean...come on...is there ANY better feeling than slipping into cool and freshly laundered sheets after an entire day in the swimming pool? That feeling of complete and total ahhhhh. Your hair was freshly washed and you had your new summertime pajamas on and Mom and Dad were downstairs watching the 11:00 news. ) Bliss. Just pure bliss.

Now, I'm lucky if the bottom sheet will stay on the damn bed (elastic issues, don't you know), I haven't had new summertime pajamas in at least seventeen and a half years, and instead of listening to Mom and Dad watching the news, I listen to a nine-pound bundle of love dressed up as a Jack Russell terrier bitch and complain about the state of affairs here in Chez Spinster until I finally get up and go sleep in the guest room. (Damn dog.)

So, as you can see, I am extremely frustrated by my utter lack of productivity in the reading/summertime enjoying/stitching/cooking/loving life category right about now. My days are rushing past me in a blur of dog hair and laundry piles, and all I want to do is stop and smell the lemonade. Or bar-be-que chicken. Or Hawaiian Tropic suntan oil. I want to assemble a pile of novels, a basket full of stitching projects, and a fridge full of potato salad. I want to wake up when the birds start chirping and go to bed when the last street light comes on. I want to listen to a baseball game on a radio and drive to a beach and wear flip flops and look at people in bathing suits and remember when I wore less than full body armour in public. I want to have a summer fling. A summer haircut. A summer pedicure. Anything to get me away from the feeling that before I know it the leaves will be changing color and I'll be scurrying around obsessing about Christmas decorations.

Anybody out there have a sure-fire method for stopping the clock for a few days? If so, let me know as soon as you possibly can, and we'll save what's left of the summer.

I'm two and a half blocks away from completing Strawberry Shortcake. I did manage to get a few hours in last night while watching some re-runs of crap I'd recorded on the DVR thingie. I am still totally loving this and am starting to think about possible finishes for it. A funky pillow? A gorgeous frame with a triple beveled mat? A purse? I'm not sure just yet, but whatever it is will be enjoyed for a long time to come, I'm sure.

I briefly ran through some blogs the other day and lo and behold, my VBSDF Laura J. Perin has done it to me again. Have you seen her latest....Daisy Chain? Damn, but that is the coolest! Aunt Chrissy and I are already plotting as to how we will stitch and finish this one. Take a look: http://www.two-handedstitcher.blogspot.com. And while you're there....peek into her lovely new home and see all of her stitchy stations. Now if only I new her exact address so that I could move in....

Stewey calls. He's been marching about the house today pointing out all of the places where he's peed in the last few days. Apparently, it's his new way of determining whether or not I'm keeping up with my chores. He figures that I'll see the microscopic drops of dog pee on the dog pee colored hardwood floors and that I'll attend to them immediately. (Note to self: Decision to stain the floors "Natural Red Oak" when building the house seemed fine at the time, but color is now too reminiscent of said dog pee and must be changed. "Natural Walnut" perhaps?) So...it looks like it's time for a bucket of hot soapy water and Mommie Dearest on Pee Patrol.

Whatever you're doing today, I certainly hope it's more fun!