"Good evening! Tonight's selections include the chef's special blend of black sunflower seeds, accompanied by a lovely little Merlot imported from the Napa Valley. Shall I get you started with an appetizer while we await the arrival of your date?"
With that, I heard a lot of bitching and moaning and complaining about the lighting in the ladies room, and THE DATE arrived on scene: "I'm starving! What did you order for an appetizer? Is that waiter a little obnoxious, or what? How's my hair?"
Then, before I knew it, the place started to fill up with other parties anxious for a good table:
"I'm sorry, sir, but we'll have to seat you in the back. We only have tables for two on the patio this evening. Shall I take your lady friend's shawl?"
The patio diner suddenly realized that he was alone. He suspects that his date has retreated to the ladies' room once again...this time to fix her lipstick.
And so it goes. The Spinster dines alone, while her backyard is turned into Chez Stewey for the evening. I swear, I wouldn't have been at all surprised if a bear would have come out of the woods and requested a nice salmon with a little rice pilaf.