Nov 4, 2009

BAD MOMMIE

My mo-ther can't come to the blog right now. She's grounded. I mean REALLY grounded. I was minding my own business last night when the old lady decided that a game of Doozie Ball would be great fun. I wasn't so sure, since the last time we played I won and she pouted for a week and a half, but I decided to be a good sport and give it a go for the sake of a little peace and quiet around here.

Not only does my mo-ther NOT know how to play Doozie Ball, she feels it necessary to destroy everything within a twenty-five foot radius of wherever she happens to be standing. Last night she decided that she would be a much more effective player if she enlisted the help of a dust mop, but all it did was make her that much more dangerous.

I tried. I really did, but no matter how hard I hollered at her to "just take it easy already!", she was oblivious to the impending doom. Her face got all red and sweaty and she was huffing and puffing to the point of me dialing the 9 and the 1 on the telephone in anticipation of "THE BIG COLLAPSE OF 2009". Fortunately, that didn't happen, but there were casualties. I give you Exhibit A:

As you can see, I am shocked and appalled at the mess and am doing my darndest not to get any dirt on my paws. My stupid mo-ther, however, was not as bright, and we had dirty footprints all over the damn house that were in the exact size and shape of her big fat white terry cloth house slippers. These, of course, will have to be laundered today, so it looks like my load of delicates will have to wait.

I swear, I finally get this house in some semblance of order and as soon as I turn around I've got yet another mess to clean up. True...I do pee on the drapes every now and then, but I only use that technique as a very last resort to get some attention around here. I swear, the only way I can get her to listen to me is if I write stuff down and then staple the note to her forehead. Damn Mommie.

Idaho Star is coming along quite nicely. After the excitement of Doozie Ball, I was much relieved to be able to sit and watch the TeeVee without too much distraction. There's something about Aunt Laura's pieces that lull my mom into quiet submission. Now that I've figured this out, methinks I better get up to the studio to kit up another ten or fifteen of these for the long winter nights ahead. I just don't think my nerves can take any more Doozie Ball.




15 comments:

  1. Oh, poor plant! Stewey you should be grateful that Mommie wanted to play! That stitching of Mommie's is really growing!

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  2. Love the new project.

    Stewey needs to learn how to use a broom and be a helpful child.

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  3. I love the picture of your shocked expression :)

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  4. Stewey, these things happen. That's why they are called "accidents". It must have been that full moon.......

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  5. Poor Stewey, mommie will never learn! Be patient with her, remember, she is only human....

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  6. Poor, poor Stewey.

    I hope Mommy is taking it easy today and not making you work too hard.

    Now if Mommy gets out of control maybe you can hide behind those drapes until it's all clear.

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  7. Stewey - These things happen. Must have been the strange magnetic field that was bombing the earth last night (brooms could actually stand on their own - really - DD's Science Teacher told us and it worked - only happens every so many years). Too bad that broom of yours couldn't have picked up that dirt. That's where you were suppose to come in Stewey. I realize that it's hard with paws, but your Mom was just trying to play with you.

    Tell your mom too, her Perrin piece is really coming along.

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  8. HAHAHAspewHAHAHAgurgleHAHAHA...I'm sorry...HAHAHAHA...I'll come back later...

    When I can compose myself...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....

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  9. stewey
    Momma has to let her spirit fly every once in awhile.
    It is good you were there in case the last 1 needed pawing
    but even you like a riotous time now and again.
    Just turn your delicates inside out for an extra day of use and
    allow mom to let loose.
    ;-)

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  10. The Riddler was awesome and this project, Idaho Star, is off to a good start.

    Stewey - keep working with Mo-ther, she'll get better with lots of practice.

    Coni - your wonderful blog is a hoot which I look forward to reading every day.

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  11. Idaho Star looks fantastic! Do tell mo-ther that I LOVE the colors she is using.

    BTW, did the plant survive its trauma?

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  12. Thanks for bringing some laughter into my day! I hope that the plant survived!

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  13. I love the expression on Stewey's face! hahaha

    I'm surprised he doesn't wear a helmet when you play. :)

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  14. Humans! Can't live with em' .... can't live without 'em.

    WOOF!

    Your friend,
    Stormy (new to this compuuter stuf)

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