THIS IS WHAT SIX DIET COKES WILL GET 'CHA

I'm fascinated by the speed with which y'all stitch. I myself am a very sloooooow stitcher, but then again, I do have the attention span of a humming bird. I'm not a slow stitcher because I'm methodical or neat and tidy....I'm just slow for the sake of slowness itself.

I sat down at approximately 3pm yesterday afternoon and after the full-length version of Casino, four episodes of Chopped, two viewings of the Sex and the City Movie, and countless other TeeVee drivel, I managed to get the inside design of "Garden Girl" completed. Now I'm on to the border and this one gets to go into the FUPPY box.

(Chopped, by the way, is the Food Network show that challenges chefs to open a basket containing obscure combinations of food to come up with a suitable appetizer, entree, and then dessert. And yes, I yell at the contestants that they're hacks, and I could certainly come up with an entree made of trout, turnip greens, Parma ham, and marshmallow cream or a dessert made with blueberries, red wine vinegar, caramel, and brussel sprouts.)

But I regress....

During my daily blog reading (which probably accounts for my lack of progress on actual stitching), I glue myself to the screen to see the latest updates on all of your projects. And the worst part of it all is that I actually get all a'flutter when I see that you're nearing the end of a piece! I wait with breath that is bated for the eventual happy dance and all of the joy that comes with it. Then, when the final pic is posted, I scream "WOO HOO" loud enough to make the dog pee on the drapes.

Sadly, after I run to the studio to fish through my stash for the project you've just completed, it doesn't jump onto the q-snaps and stitch itself spontaneously, so I must be doing something wrong. I try and try to tell myself that "it's the journey and not the destination", but I get all Violet Beauregard about it and find myself stomping feet and saying "I want it NOW". Then I spend hours and hours calculating the exact number of minutes it will take to get all of my current WIP's finished BEFORE I start the new thing that you've just completed, and the resulting figures depress me for a week and a half.

I really need to get a new hobby.

****Edited to add after reading the comment/question from Amy****

Hi, Amy!

Thanks so much for stopping by my silly blog and for leaving a comment! I believe that you had a quiestion about my eyesight....I am RIDICULOUSLY near-sighted, which means that when I take my contacts out (or my glasses off) I can see about two inches in front of my face. Usually, I put my contacts into my head first thing in the morning and I'm able to see the entire world in all it's technicolor wonderfulness without a problem. And for some wierd reason, I am also able to see realtively well close-up, even though my eye doctor tells me that this is sure to go away soon.

For stiching, I wear my contacts and then I perch a pair of 99cent magnifiers on my face. (I use the +1.50 magnification.) This allows me to see the TeeVee, as well as stitch on everything from mono canvas to 36-count linen pretty well.

All of this would be really simple if it were not for the fact that I just bought myself a new pair of glasses which cost more than my first car (or so it seemed). This traditional gal walked right into the fancypants eyeglasses boutique and asked for something that would be a little different than the eight year old plastic frames I had been clutching to my chest as though they contained the key to everlasting peace in the Middle East. So I am now sporting one-of-a-kind European custom funky frames that supposedly look simply fabulous. Alas, I cannot stitch with them for some reason, since the close-up distance is not as good as it is when I wear contacts. Heavy heavy sigh.

So on days that I have to put on somthing other than eighteen year old sweatpants and leave the house, I wear my fancypants glasses during the day (Who am I kidding? It's solely to impress people, and I know it) and then I put my contacts and magnifiers in place for all of my evening stitchy goodness.

I blame it all on Aunt Chrissy, who bought frames that were five times more expensive than mine and needed somebody else to fall down the rabbit hole with her.

Gee, arent' you glad you asked?! :-)

Woo Hoo!
Coni