May 8, 2009

SOMEBODY CALL THE A.S.P.C.A.

My mo-ther can't come to the blog right now. I've locked her in the laundry room until she decides to either a) behave properly or b) do the ridiculous pile of laundry that has accumulated there for the last eighteen months (or what I perceive to be that long).

The above photograph will be submitted as Exhibit A in my case against her with the authorities. I was snoozing on my perch when she came at me with these stupid baby socks and told me to start dusting or find another place to sleep tonight. Apparently, she thinks that the filth level around here is completely MY fault, and that I should be part of the solution.

So I did what any intelligent Jack Russell Terrier would do. I called Merry Maids, and they will be here at any moment. I'm going to walk them around the place and show them what needs to be done, and then I think I'll head to my fort for some shut eye. Besides, I don't like the vacuum cleaner very much, so this will give me an excuse not to pitch in.

Methinks I'll let the old lady out about 8ish so that we can watch Mistresses together and she will be able to finish up her "Shepherd's Spring" piece. I want her to get this finished tonight so that she can play with some new Laura J. Perin charts that came in the mail today. If she's reaaaalllly nice to me, I might even share the little meatloaf that I made for lunch. My mom loves meatloaf. So much so, that I usually have one made to use as a diversion when she gets totally peeved about me peeing on the drapes.

I hope you all have a simply fabulous weekend. My Aunt Chrissy is going to come over in the morning to take mom out for some grocery shopping, so that will give me an opportunity to hatch my next evil plot. I'm pretty sure it will involve some blondes and my smoking jacket, but we'll have to see how far the liquor holds out.

Ciao!
Stewey

13 comments:

  1. ROFL. Coni, you always make me laugh -- thank you for that. I can't believe you put socks on Stewey (and he kept them on).

    Stewey, you really should pitch in and help. After all, you don't have a long tail you can use as a duster.
    Did someone say new Laura J Perin charts? I wanna see. I have only the Bluebonne one because I'm a native Texan living in MN.
    Thanks, Coni and Stewey for brightening my day.

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  2. Way to go Stewey...when you finish dusting Mom's place could ya come over and help me too?

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  3. STEWEY!!! What a great Mother's Day Gift!!! MERRY MAIDS!!!!

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  4. Hi Stewey,

    LOL!!!

    Will you please call Merry Maids to come and clean my house as that would make a great Mother's Day gift? :-)

    Tell your momma for Mother's Day I'm heading over to the LNS tomorrow. Should be great fun!

    {{{Hugs}}}

    Cynthia
    Windy Meadow

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  5. That dog has to get a life! Way too wrapped up in your "stuff"....

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  6. Hey, Stewey! After your shenanigans over Derby Day you should be following around your Sainted Mistress totally at her beck and call. Though calling Merry Maids was a good move, if you want the laundry done, pitch in yourself. Just a thought.

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  7. Blondes, a smoking jacket and liquor... oh my! lmbo

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  8. oh Stewey , you poor thing, being told to dust. I think that if our fur babies can lay around all they want then they should pitch in lol.

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  9. Oh, Stewey, baby! Looks like you've done it now. You might need to call for back-up when you let your poor mommy out. Are you forgetting, dear Stewey, that tomorrow is Mom's Day?

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  10. Stewey, my DS can dust as good as I can, so you can help your Mom out around the house. Everyone has to chip in you know. How thoughtful of you to call Merry Maids! Now, that is a BIG HELP!

    OK, this Mistresses show....I'm TOTALLY FREAKING HOOKED. Ya'll are a bad influence!!

    Suz

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  11. You know Stewey - those socks really are quite sexy!
    Happy Mother's Day to your mom - I hope you are treating her well today?

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  12. Hi Stewey,
    Now I want to warn you about the evils of blondes and liquor...things can get pretty rough...and my daughter Katie, aka Ralph Mouth, who just had a weeks worth of public school sex education wanted me to warn you of the hazards of not being protected. SO, take it from the boy scouts - be prepared!

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  13. Congratulations Coni on a great article in NeedlepointNow! I read it aloud to my family and we all loved Stewey's photo. He looks so innocent there on that page. Looking forward to reading more adventures.

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