IN WHICH A PROTEIN SHAKE TRIED TO KILL ME

 

So I got the bright idea last week to replace my afternoon cold brew with a protein shake. During my research, I discovered that Premier Protein would be the best choice for me, and lo and behold, they make a flavor called Cafe' Latte.

Perfect!

We needed a few things from the Targets, so I added a four pack of them to the basket, hit the "Deliver Today" button, and within a few hours I was enjoying a nice cold healthy protein shake instead of my delicious, but nutritionally deficient cold brew.

Boy....did I get sick.

I honestly figured it was just a simple case of good old fashioned food poisoning, because I spent a LOT of time examining our bathroom floor tiles, as well as closely inspecting the very good job of disinfecting the cleaning lady is doing on the fixtures in there.

By the grace of God, I forced myself to continually drink lots of water and Vitamin Water and Gatorade, so despite being so ill, I never dehydrated. I still felt awful, and honestly thought it was never going to end, but I knew I was doing everything I could to protect Belly Bean.

(That's my new name for my new kidney, by the way. It came to me when I got an ad for Jelly Belly jelly beans on my iPad thingie. Since my new bean is in the front, I decided to name him Belly Bean...or BB for short.)

(BB was my nickname for my little puppytot nephew, Bosco, too. He gave me so much joy and so many giggles over the years, I figured the homage' was perfect.)

I started to feel better by Wednesday afternoon, but I was never able to figure out what the culprit was. Then, out of nowhere, I got an email telling me that they were letting me know that an item I had purchased recently had been recalled due to bacterial contamination, and that I should throw it away immediately and come in for a refund.

Guess what it was?

As I investigated further, the company that makes the shakes, as well as their supplier, and even the FDA issued statements saying they caught it early and nobody had gotten sick.

Um...nope.

I started researching the actual bacteria (cronobacter sakazakii) and that scared the bejeebers outta' me, so I put the iPad down, took a breath, scribbled a few notes, and spent yesterday on the phone with everybody so that they could verify lot numbers, etc and apologize profusely and send me a refund.

On Monday, I'll confirm that no further treatment is needed by my Bean Team, and then I'll probably just put the idea if protein shakes on the shelf for a minute. I am just so grateful that it wasn't worse, and I hope nobody else had to go through that.

See what happens when I try to get healthy, Dearies? The universe smites me on the nose and scares me back into being a portly, cold brew swigging, sun worshipping schlumpadink. You try this whole good clean living thing and it doesn't end well.

DietCokes, Virginia Slims, and cupcakes for everybody...on me!