For three weeks, I've stressed and planned and planned and stressed this trip to Indy/IU and the liver test. I wrote lists and packed bags and mapped routes and double checked and triple checked weather like the control freak I am.
And then God laughed.
I didn't sleep well last night in anticipation of today. About a week or so ago, JB and I decided that we would just go to Indy the day of the test, maybe grab a meal, and then came back on the same day. Driving down the night before and staying in a hotel and all of those logistics seemed like too much, especially since I have traveled more in the last month than I have in the last fifteen years.
And then I got the crazy idea that I would just go by myself, and that changed at the last minute to deciding that I really would like some company, and then back to going alone, then back to needing supervision....I must have changed my mind a dozen times until I finally told JB that I would, in fact, like him to go with me after all.
So I got up at 6:00 this morning and had my damn good and got in the shower and put a purse together and printed the appointment information, and just as soon as he got his shoes and socks on, my JB became decidedly unwell and wasn't able to go with me afterall.
(He's fine. Just a temporary thing that was either a pill that went down wrong or his crazy girlfriend stressing him out with the "go stay go stay go stay" shenanagins.
I got in the car, took a deep breath, and drove the three hours to Indy/IU hospital like a BOSS. There was a ton of construction, a little rain, and a surprising amount of traffic, but I navigated the driving and turning and finding of things like I knew what I was doing. No mis-steps. No wrong turns. No missed exits. Straight down the damn road with the 80's music blasting away and me laughing at what a complete boob I am to have gotten lost on our dry run back in April.
I think it took me about six minutes to find a space in the parking garage and another two or three minutes to find the department I neededfor the test. When I checked in and saw the clock, I realized that I was 45 minutes early, so I headed to the waiting area to settle in for the long haul.
My heiney did not hit the chair before my name was called, and the lovely technician asked me my name and birthdate as we walked the seven steps to the testing room.
(Are you sensing where I'm going with this yet?)
Dearies, when I tell you that the test took FOUR SECONDS I am not exaggerating. I literally laid myself on the table, flipped my shirt up, and she touched the scanner thingie to my liver and said "OK. All done."
IT TOOK LONGER FOR ME TO CONFIRM MY BIRTHDATE THAN IT DID FOR HER TO DO THE ENTIRETY OF THE TEST!
I made my way back to the parking garage, put my ticket into the payment thingie, and it said "IN TIME 10:41. OUT TIME 10:46. $5.00 PLEASE".
Four and a half of those minutes were spent parking and walking to and from the appointment.
So I pulled out of the garage shaking my head at how funny my life is, and I started hunting for a Starbucks for sustenance for the drive home. In the meantime, I called my sister to tell her what had just happened and as I was sitting at a stop light telling her that I was looking for a Starbucks I looked up and realized that I was, quite literaally, sitting in front of...a Starbucks.
My very favorite thing on the Starbucks planet is a trenta cold brew with a splash of sweet cream and a ham and cheese panini, and that's what I decided to order. But, as I approached the ordering thingie, I saw a big sign that said they were very sorry, but due to delivery issues, their store did not have many food options available, but to ask for what they did have.
So I did.
"We're really sorry, but the only thing we have left is one ham and cheese panini."
And then...just to see if I was really paying attention, the lovely barista at the window handed me extra napkins and an extra cup of ice in a trenta sippy cup because "It's so hot today, and in case I needed extra ice".
(Have I told you my obsession with the Starbucks trenta sippy cups.)
(I love them.)
(Truly. I do. I really, really do.)
Your hapless spinster is home safe and sound, with her Starbucks trenta sippy cup full of ice water, a baseball game on the TeeVee, newspapers ready to read, stitching ready to be stitched, and an entire afternoon to be grateful, thankful, and awed that somebody up there takes such good care of me.
I honestly don't know how I lucked into this wonderful, lucky, crazy, happy life of mine.
Now if you'll excuse me, methinks I need to put my shoes and socks on and go buy some lottery tickets!
How's your day going? Come tell me all about it!