Twenty pounds.
Twenty #;'g+*$# pounds back on my portly little self in the space of about a week and a half.
OK. Maybe it's a little longer that a week and a half, but the fact remains that I have bloated up like a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon and I am completely and utterly miserable. Every ounce if it is in my mid-section and every ounce of it is screaming at me that I am a miserable failure.
Dr Melfi tells me that this is all 100% cortisol/stress related, and that recent events took more of a toll on me than just a few weepy sleepless nights, and that I shouldn't look at this as a failure but rather as an opportunity to remind myself how strong I am.
I love Dr Melfi.
We pulled nine pounds of fluid off during treatment yesterday, but that was just about enough to kill me. Literally. Blood pressure of 90/40 and lots of oxygen and hollering. Not gonna do that again. Nope. Just not gonna do it.
I'm giving myself precisely twenty minutes to wallow....that's a minute per pound for you more astute observers, and then I'm going to put my old lady sneakers on and go for a twenty minute walk around the apartment complex.
With a mask on.
Tomorrow is Friday, and I will record and report my after-treatment off-weight on this here blog to keep myself accountable, and I will be super super careful about my food and drink choices. There is no way in you-know-what I'm going to lose that kidney transplant. I just know that my kidney is out there somewhere, and when we find it I am going to be ready for it come hell or high water.
Enough of that.
On the stitchy front, I am happy to report that it all comes down to the silk ribbon flower today. This is perfect, because I have a nice long quiet day to stitch this carefully and enjoy learning something new. I haven't worked with silk ribbon very often in the past, so I want to take my time and do this right.
Here's the progress from yesterday:
So there you have it, Dearies. A tale of woe, a fist-shaking promise to bounce back, and a plan for the day. And all executed before 9am.
What's new in your neck of the woods?
Awesome progress on the Blue Heart piece, Coni! Dr. Melfi makes sense to me about the stress you have been dealing with. I have a morning meeting and then a stop at the post office. Not much excitement around here! Have a good day!
ReplyDeleteIt's gorgeous! You've got this! The weather was glorious here yesterday. If you've also got the drop in humidity, your walk will be very pleasant. If not, walk around your apartment for 20 min. You can do this!
ReplyDeleteThe heart is beautiful, just like yours. Take that walk and keep you chin up. You can do this and I suspect that you know the doctor is correct about the causes. Have a great walk, maybe I will join you virtually!
ReplyDeleteI promise that when you get your kidney it will be worth every minute of it! I totally cracked up with your comparison to a Macy's balloon!
ReplyDeleteThe heart is just beautiful! Makes me want to do some canvas stitching! A walk around sounds like a good plan. My daily walk is always a spirit-lifter and makes me feel physically better. You can do this!!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful stitching! Daily walking is my sanity preserver as much as my waistline preserver. You've got this!
ReplyDeleteThe heart is beautiful! Can't wait to see it with the silk ribbon flower. We all know that you will get that extra 20# off and show menopause where to stick it!!
ReplyDeleteOh my, but your heart worked up quickly! Glad you can focus on working with the silk ribbon. About the rest, the only way forward it to take the next step...not by beating yourself up. I love Dr. Melfi too!
ReplyDeleteYour blue heart is gorgeous and Dr. Melfi sounds like a wonderful doctor. Hang in there --- the road is difficult --- hard as you-know-what sometimes --- but you've got this! We're all cheering you on!
ReplyDeleteIm rooting for you Coni!
ReplyDelete"Be still and know that I am God." Dr. Melfi is spot on...is it any wonder with what you experienced recently?Put on your "nobility is obliged" crown and proceed as though nothing
ReplyDeletecan perturb nor prevent your going on that lb-melting walk
and dropping a few. Finish the heart as your token of victory.
Wow, you worked the heart up fast. Bummer on the weight thing, but I suspect the kidney wizards have seen this all before. As long as you keep getting back to transplant weight, I doubt you will lose your place on the list. At least I hope they aren't that unforgiving.
ReplyDeleteI still wonder with all the stresses you've ben under lately, maybe think about something to work it all off and let out some anger. It seems women are always encouraged to hold it in, be all grace and forgiveness, blah blah blah, but sometimes letting the anger out is good. Have you considered taking up boxing? Or maybe it's just me that's feeling sleep deprived and punchy today?...
You got this! And your blue heart is so pretty! Looking forward to seeing the flower :)
ReplyDelete