Jun 11, 2020


It's 6:00 in the morning and I am in the d-bed letting Buzzy do his thing, and you know what?

I like doing this so early.

(Pause for reaction).

I also like the fact that the techs here seem to have a different technique, because there was zero pain both days, with both needles. I have asked them to please call my home tech, Miss M to tell her what they did differently so I can stop passing out over there.

The quiet of o' dark hundred is also perfect for me. On my normal days, I seem to wake up to noise and chaos, and then I drive to the treatment center through traffic and then wait in a loud lobby and enter a crazy loud and chaotic pod.

Who knew? Apparently my tiny little brain needs quiet.

Maybe it's a matter of age...maybe this whole being a patient thing...or maybe it's just world circumstances at the moment. All I know is that sometimes the screaming in my brain is enough to drive me nuts.

So in the interest of keeping me sane, methinks I might try to consciously uncouple from noise for a bit. Unpug, de-escalate, and breathe.


Dearies, if you would, please say a little prayer for my friend Alan. He passed away yesterday after a fifteen year battle with MS. Alan was my first love...my first hard crush. He was the big brother of my best friend, Valerie, and I spent my entire youth batting eyelashes at him. He was handsome and funny and sweet and...completely not interested in the dopey, moony-eyed chubby girl who practically lived at his house. We did become friends later in life, and I am happy to report that I was able to tease him that I was the girl he should have married.

He agreed.

I hope your day is everything you want it to be...quiet and happy or crazy and full of fun. Do whatever blows your skirt up and come tell me all about it!


  1. Good morning! I hope that the change of scenery (and time!) helps you to right the sails and enjoy the summer. Perhaps you are correct in that the craziness of the mornings was getting to you. There is lots to be said for change to help us see the world differently, even if it is just our own tiny piece of the world!

    I will keep Alan in my prayers.

    Take care and enjoy the day!

  2. So glad your early morning dialysis experiences have been good. Condolences on the loss of your friend Alan. It's so hard to let go of dear people. Prayers for his rest and your consolation.

  3. Oh Coni, I am sorry to hear of Alan's passing. Thinking of you and praying for all who knew and loved him. It sounds like the change in your chair session has been to your benefit.

  4. My condolences on the passing of your friend. Some quiet is just what you need I think. Hugs!

  5. When I worked as a ranger at the National Parks, living in quarters without TVs, radio or even computer connections, it was amazing how much calmer I felt without the constant modern background noise. It makes perfect sense to me that having dialysis in the early morning when everything is still quiet would go more smoothly than getting treatment later in the day when everybody is up and the center is going in full - and noisy! - stride. Wonder if there's any way you can make early morning your permanent scheduled time.

  6. God bless you, Connie as you endure your struggles. Much of everyone's life is enduring struggles. You are not alone and we all love you.

    May Alan's memory be eternal.

  7. Praying eternal rest for Alan and comfort for you and his
    family. That dawn patrol treatment seems custom-made for you, particularly these days. Finding peace wherever one
    can is a blessing... that was a benefit of the shut down....
    no mechanical noises invading the calm.

  8. So sorry fr the loss of your friend. They keep coming faster and faster as we age... although I am considerably older that YOU!
    I understand the need for peace and quiet. We have been working in the office since this Covid thing started and listening on the phone with HOA's owners and tenants that are home-bound and darn near hysterical at this point. I truly appreciate that my employees are considered essential so they are gainfully employed but sometimes I am envious of those who are confined and home where it's peaceful.
    Prayers to comfort you and to a happy D Chair day.
    Ruth in Oxnard CA

  9. I am sorry to hear about your friend passing away. I hope that the quiet will help the dialysis continue to go more smoothly. Lots of thoughts and prayers being sent for you!

  10. I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. The "what ifs" will always remain. I'd like to think that it might have worked out. You and yours remain in our thoughts and prayers.

  11. Morning quiet has its own wonderful blessing, yet I'm also a night owl. Tough combination for someone whose body demands 8 to 8 1/2 hours of sleep.
    I'm sorry about your friend, Alan. It's wonderful that you became friends, keep the sweet memories.

  12. My sincere condolences to you and Alan's family. How lovely that you and he were friends in later years.
    It sounds as though your trip to this place is so much less stressful and your body is relaxed - and so is Buzzy! Amazing how anxiety can affect you. This place sounds right for you - take care xxx

  13. Coni, it is always so hard to lose a friend, be they human or canine. My thoughts are with you and with Alan's family.

  14. Hi Coni, I'm sorry for your loss. Thinking of you.