Dear Tubby Idiot Spinster.
You cannot eat Chinese food, bacon, sausage biscuits, and snack plates with salami, cheese, crackers and olives for three days and not expect to gain more fluid than a Great Lake.
The dumbest thing is that you knew you were doing it when you did it but you did it anyway. Yup, right down the gullet went enough salt to de-ice the entire state of Wisconsin.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.
And somewhat dangerous. A 5kg wait gain over a weekend puts tremendous strain on your heart and lungs, and no matter how much you tell yourself that you're in relatively good shape....you're not.
You need to get your head out of your ample heiney and pay attention. You do not have the luxury of telling yourself that it's the holidays and you deserve a treat. You don't. This is war and it's serious. Life and death. Totally all-consuming and should be your only focus.
So enough monkeying around. Fruits. Vegetables. Proteins. No salt, Minimal fluid.
Get. Back. On. Track.
...............................
Hi, Dearies!
Yup, I'm in the dog house at the moment. Not necessarily with anybody here at dialysis, but with myself. I appreciate all of the gentle pats and reassurances that it's not that big of a deal, but I need to feel bad for a bit to really teach myself a lesson. You know me...nothing in moderation. I'm either shouting my brilliance from the rooftops or wallowing in the depths of self-flagellation and pity, so for me this is just another Monday.
I'll be fine. Sometimes I just need to take a breath and re-boot a bit before I can get on with my bad self. In this case, it's going to mean re-thinking my holiday menus. I was looking forward to scampi on Christmas Eve and ham on Christmas Day, but methinks we might have to go in a slightly different direction or cut the portions down to a few bites here and there.
Damn, drat, and phooey anyway, but thank goodness I am now on it.
The week's agenda is somewhat quiet for me. JB will leave on Wednesday evening for NJ, and I will try to accomplish a few things on the to-do list. Things are in pretty good shape at CS2, but I'd like to give it all a good spiff and shine so that I can enjoy my spinster time.
Well, that's the Monday report from the friendly confines of the d-chair! I'm going to try to catch some Flosstube and episodes of The Crown and maybe put a few stitches into Holiday Ribbons, but if I end up snoozing...that's OK too.
Happy Monday! Come tell me all about what's on your agenda for the day!
Oh Coni -- falling off the healthy eating wagon results in bruised ego? Please don't beat yourself up over a slip. Anyone who has dieted knows how hard it is to keep to the healthy habits.
ReplyDeleteOn that note, I saw a free resource to help with positively re-programming oneself. And it's free right now. Maybe check out the positive programming deck as a little (free) gift to yourself? https://www.gamesforhumanity.com/collections/digital-download/products/positive-programing-deck-digital-download
Meanwhile, I continue to do gift-wrapping for Heart and Stroke at a busy mall!
Sometimes meeting a goal and maintaining or meeting one goal and moving forward is more frightening than we think. Dealing with success is the unknown and can be very scary. Good idea to talk to your doctor about this new situation. Just a thought.
ReplyDeleteConi, put away the whip. Look at it this way, you celebrated Christmas this weekend and it was damn good! Make new dinner recipe plans, keep it simple. Dinner will be good for you, you don't have to do all that cooking and cleanup and you can sit, stitch , and watch TV. Falling off the wagon is the way we are made and how out brains work. Anything worth having is hard work and you have been working hard!
ReplyDeleteYou woke up to what you already knew...eat to your heart's delight and face the consequences...but it is over and you are determined to get back on track.. we are cheering you on
ReplyDeleteConi, we have all fallen off the wagon. Do you know how many times I tried to quit smoking. OMG!!! We must pick ourselves up, and start over again. We are all human, and we all fall. The secret is in picking yourself up, and going on again.
ReplyDeleteI do know that dieting/eating healthy is really more difficult than stopping smoking. We have to eat. But your cheering section is still here, and we all understand. Now dust yourself off, and get back on the wagon. Merry Christmas. Thinking of you!
You are right that gaining that much in fluid is dangerous for someone on dialysis. But you've learned a valuable lesson. If it makes you feel any better, I think we all over-indulge during the holidays. The cookies! The candies! The ham! I have no self-control when it comes to cookies. "Just one more", I say. Who am I kidding? Less is best is the motto we both should adopt. (Yes, I know how hard it is to be on dialysis and watch your fluid and type of food intake because my late husband was a dialysis patient.) Now, onward!
ReplyDeleteConi! What are you doing? That's almost 5 pounds in a weekend! I have to admit I cringed when I read about what you were eating. Do you not think you deserve to live??? Sometimes I feel like giving you atta boys all the time, we are enabling bad behavior, so I'm going to slap you up aside the head and say STOP!! Methinks maybe you don't think you deserve a kidney?? I believe you are strong enough to say, AFTER I get my kidney, I can have this. For now, I want life more than I want ___. Do not use the holidays as an excuse to kill yourself!!! Okay, I'm done. And no, I'm not perfect. I have my own problems with chocolate but I'm not in a life-threatening situation like you are. Time to take this seriously, gurl! Okay, now I'm really done. Sending you positive thoughts for a disciplined day. One day at a time. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteCorrection....11 pounds!!! That's even worse! PLEASE.... take care of yourself.
DeleteTrying to work out how it gained so much! But salt = fluid retention ahaa, yep, understand. Hot summers and swollen feet and ankles reminded me! Amazing how fast it happens. But . . . temptation flew at you and really not many of us could resist the yummies! A friend gave me a big Toblerone (Nestles chocolate triangle bar with nougat bits in it) and well, last night it has been reduced greatly! OH has just been diagnosed with borderline type 2 diabetes - only just past the safety zone, but it's hereditary. So now he has to follow the diet - or healthy Mediterranean diet (before they invented pasta) which is the same as I'd done before - tis a big help when you are both eating the same (although he's skinny!).
ReplyDeleteSo now you are climbing back on the wagon and you'll be fine. Just take care and only have half a nibble. We don't eat Chinese food now because it is so salty. In restaurants I ask for no salt in my food. Celebrity chefs seem to throw bucket loads in! Sheesh!!!!!! Not as if they are preserving the meals! LOL! Onwards and upwards girlie xxx
When you wrote you were eating Chinese I thought oh no here we go again. I know how hard it is not to eat the things we want but should not have. Hang in there kid you can do it!
ReplyDeleteOkay Coni, pick yourself up and brush it behind you! Grab on to those reins and climb back to the healthy eating zone! You can do it!
ReplyDeleteConi, you are right. This is war. It is hard to face and you are one heck of a soldier, but may I say the treats that soldiers get during wartime are far and few between and they mean a lot. We LOVE you and want you to succeed at this, but there is no pussyfooting around. Try to stay as focused as you can. Maybe more stitchy treats and less foodie treats.
ReplyDeleteYesterday I had to be quite firm with a patient regarding his contact lens wear habits and skipping eye exams. I told him that I wasn't trying to be mean, I was only concerned about protecting his vision. He's only 40 years old and has another 40+ years to go. If we are going to save his vision, he has got to change his mindset and the way he functions. Today, he came in to pick out glasses. Hopefully, he will be seeing a corneal specialist soon.
I guess my point is the the war that you (and I) referred to is not really a war against your kidney. It's a war with the mind. Conditioning and changing habits is one of the hardest things to do. For anyone. For EVERYONE. I know you can do it, soldier. One day at a time.
I'm pretty sure your team (doctors, nutritionists, dialysis) have mentioned this last though, but maybe they haven't....I don't think that having a new kidney is going to allow you to go completely back to eating whatever you want. Is it? Aren't you still going to have to be careful about salt and fluids, to a certain extent? Again, possibly a change in mindset about what rewarding yourself looks like.
Please, please, please take care.
Good for you for getting right back on track!
ReplyDelete