Oct 4, 2019

SO.MUCH.BETTER.

Oh, Dearies, I am feeling so much better today! It was about 40 degrees inside CS2 last night and I slept deeply and well. Today I am in the special blue d-chair doing my thing.
Everybody else hates this chair, but I love it. It's wider and sits upright and I like being able to tuck my feet up under my blanket and stitch the day away.

Sir Elton is blaring away in my headset at the moment, but I'll switch over to Flosstube after our visit. I am woefully behind, but have the whole weekend to catch up! JB is going to run to and fro and might go to the football game, but I am going to enjoy a few days of Spinster Time to do my thing. Then, on Sunday, I am going to meet another college friend for Mass and a catch-up!

I really love these visits. For so many years I cocooned myself away and didn't answer the phone when friends called. Leaving CS1 was just too much of a nightmare for me, and the feeling of shame that I felt for falling so far down the well was paralyzing.

Then I woke up one day and realized that people didn't care if I was sick, broke, unemployed, covered in dog pee, and completely incapable of normal life. They didn't mind that I was quiet or sad or frustrated. They just wanted to lay eyes on me, have a laugh or two, and gently remind me that being a fabulous career woman who could leap tall buildings at a single bound wasn't who I was completely. I'm just me. And that's OK.

Humility is an amazing thing. My whole life was spent trying to be the Rock of Gibralter for friends and family, and when I couldn't do that anymore I figured everybody would skeedaddle. But I was the doofus that skeedaddled, and it wasn't until I squashed my big fat ego that I got anywhere.

I'm still sick and I'm still broke and I'm still unemployed, but I'm here, and that's a miracle to me.

You, Dearies, are no small part in all of this peace, and today is as good a day as any to remind you of it. I really do love and appreciate every single moment we share together...whether it's on this here blog, via email, snailmail, or any other way I get to spend time with you. You. Rock. My. World.

No idea where any of that came from, but now it's time to get on with it.

Happy Friday...Happy Weekend! Do something fabulous and come tell me all about it!

12 comments:

  1. Happy Friday, Coni! You rock our community of stitchers. I hope chair time goes smoothly today. Then enjoy the rest of the day.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love you, Coni! You make my days:)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Great post, Coni! Yup, true friends just want to "love on you," good or bad times. 30 years ago, I quit a wonderful computer career because of sexual harassment from my supervisor. I was devastated and, to this day, after my husband and I have gone through extensive therapy to accept the loss (trust, my work friends, financial, career, retirement funding), I STILL don't know what to tell employees who face this problem. If the "predator" won't take "NO" for an answer, I would suggest quitting immediately. I didn't . . . I struggled with "fending him off" for 4 years and succeeded, but he NEVER QUIT PRESSURING, so I quit. Without proof (and experienced predators don't allow for proof), you may as well just "give up your career". I went home to a loving supportive husband and our son and I started a Computer Publishing Business from my home. I worked for several large corporations (often 40-60 hours a week) RIGHT FROM MY HOME OFFICE! I could never gain the trust needed to work for one person again. My business worked out very, very well, but I will never forget the social, financial and emotional costs of fighting something so unfair. - Marcia

    ReplyDelete
  4. We all need to embrace our uniquenesses!

    ReplyDelete
  5. You truly are an inspiration to me. I hide away too. Maybe I can also join in more. Thanks for saying it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Connie we need to have that post in neon letters. We are all too hung up on success equating to acquisition. We all need reminding that success is well being ourselves and our responsibility to others and the planet. You hit the nail on the head. Keep reminding us.

    ReplyDelete
  7. That's great news about another get together. I wish you'd have a chat with my friend - she's done the same thing - but living with her mother, sharing the same bed as she is working but can't get out of a rut as her salary isn't enough to rent her own place, let alone share with a friend. She is hugely depressed and although I contact her, she responds but always apologising for shutting herself away - I wish she could understand what you have realised. Or perhaps she sees a reminder of what she almost had but lost and it's too hard for her. Dunno. But I'm so glad you have had friends that will fight for your friendship - even virtual friends (apart from the meannie) that have spurred you on via the blog. Just good news all around for you. :D

    ReplyDelete
  8. You are an inspiration with the way you live your life in sickness or health you just get on with it. You are the rock to so many people who have problems. Well done and please keep up the blog, but most of all I pray for your health. xx

    ReplyDelete
  9. You are a star and have become part of my life. The only blog I follow!

    ReplyDelete
  10. This makes me smile! So happy you are reconnecting with old friends :)

    ReplyDelete