JB and I went to Mass, ran a few quick errands, and came home (I think I already told you that, but oh well). One of the errands we did was a pass through the McDonald's for breakfast.
This is were I hang my head in shame and confess that I ordered a steak, egg, and cheese bagel sandwich.
I love those sandwiches. I always have. As a matter of fact, there are some days when I have considered picking up a full sack of them and eating them all at one go to make myself sick. This is the same aversion therapy technique (in reverse, I think) that I used at the Krispy Kreme to get me through the store-opening obsession.
(It worked, too. Ask me how many Krispy Kreme donuts I've had since that momentous Saturday in which I ate THREE DOZEN of them and promptly threw up four dozen.)
But I digress.
When we stopped at the Martin's, I also picked up a cranberry orange muffin from the gd can't miss it let's put this right smack dab in the middle of where you have to walk muffin cart.
Again with the shame.
So I ate both, all the while hating myself for being so weak and ruining all if the hard work I've been doing and I did a solid fifteen minutes of berating myself in the mirror for being so undisciplined.
JB went out to do his thing on the balcony and I decided to unload the dishwasher and throw a load if towels in.
Pause for you to eyeroll and guess what happens next.
I. Cleaned. Like. A. Very. Angry. Amish. Woman.
For two hours!
I slumped into the damn recliner a few minutes ago and remembered that I hadn't yet logged my breakfast. So I hopped on my app thingie (I think it's called LoseIt) and entered my slug of cranberry juice, my two cups of damn good, the monster bagel sandwich AND the gd cranberry orange muffin.
Drat. Over eight hundred calories.
That's what I have been eating for an ENTIRE DAY!
So I resolved to have nothing else for the rest of the day, cursed my bad choices one more time, and then folded a load of towels.
In the middle of a washcloth, I tilted my head to the side like a labradoodle and thought "Gee. I wonder if all that housecleaning counts as exercise?"
You bet your big fat sweet bippie it does! ALMOST 600 calorie's worth!
I have never been so freakin glad to have cleaned my apartment as I was when I realized I could eat more than water for dinner tonight.
I won't go crazy, I promise. A sensible salad and a bite or two of the sausage, peppers, onions, and potatoes I made for JB...but I didn't completely ruin Operation GO!!!
Tomorrow will see me back on the smoothie/salad wagon, but it sure is nice to know that I CAN have a nice little treat every now and then as long as I go to town with some activity.
Happy Sunday, Dearies! Have something wonderful to eat and come tell me all about it!
I can relate very much to the ongoing mental battle and internal noise and the way it all just drains you. I imagine that many of your readers will, too. Good on you for being able to reflect on your day, putting it in context, and keeping your eyes looking forward.
ReplyDeleteMegan
Sydney, Australia
Oh yes - the binge sessions. Also guilty. But as you say that's it - it's when you don't hide the evidence which is quite shocking! That did it for me. I think the body does play havoc by deciding to play on the cravings - which is why some ladies eat coal (yuk) when they are expecting a happy event - or pickles etc, the body is missing something! I have zero willpower at the moment, but yes - cleaning is the best thing to do when you are angry with yourself, and then stand back and admire - and by then your arms are aching, your back is aching from vacuuming . . . it has to be worth plenty of burnt up calories! But don't worry - this naughty session will pass and sometimes you need a naughty session to trick the body into thinking you aren't dieting and then lose a lot more pounds when you hit a plateau! Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteWhat I do for those splurge treats....buy it, ask for it to be cut in half, as soon as it is handed to you, toss half in the trash. Don't take it home, don't leave it on the table while I eat half, don't keep it for later. Way too tempting to eventually eat the rest of it.
ReplyDeleteStill get the treat yet don't kill the weight loss for the day.
Coni, it was a small setback in Operation Go. Good for you on recording it and then cleaning like a mad woman! If you deny yourself something, you will crave/want it even more so have a bit of it in moderation. I like the idea of cutting/dividing it in half and tossing half while you eat half. Thinking of you and hope your Monday is grand!
ReplyDeleteConi, give yourself a break. Who among us can resist a breakfast sandwich and a cranberry orange muffin? I sure can't. ;)
ReplyDeleteBrava for your balancing the scale with exercise! Hope while
ReplyDeleteyou were eating, you were relishing every bite, to make the
repayment worth it....On to moderation.....
Ass a lifelong dieter, I can assure you that one day of madcap eating will not ruin your life, especially when coupled with an afternoon of madcap cleaning and calorie burning. Call it a bad day and move on.
ReplyDeleteI am proud of you for all your efforts! I agree, when craving, cut the portion in two and give the other to a starving teenager( is there any other kind????)Keep up the good work, you are the best!!!
ReplyDeleteGood for you for treating yourself, doing some exercise and putting it all behind you to get back on track for the next day. That isn't easy always easy to do but you are rocking it!
ReplyDelete