Yesterday is a bit of a blur, unfortunately. I made it through almost all of my treatment, but was out cold for about the last hour of it. This lead to a rather blurry Monday evening in which I stared at the TeeVee until it was time to go to bed, and not much else.
The hangover is a bit relentless this morning, but I think a hot shower and some fresh air might remedy it, so I'm going to get myself together and go for a little walk in the sunshine.
(Or maybe I'll just put clean pajamas on and just stay here in the Happy Chair with some Grasshopper Pie.)
Spring cleaning the apartment is hanging over my head, as is cleaning out the garage that is packed to the rafters with everything from Chez Spinster. I know it has to be done (and sooner rather than later), but I just don't have the emotional energy to re-live a hundred years of memories that have been thrown in a box. I know that there is an absolute ton of stuff that might be useful to somebody in there, but I also know that there are things that will send me straight into the ugly cry, and nobody needs to see that on a random Saturday afternoon.
But the inside of the apartment really does need a good scrubbing, and that I can do room by room as my energy allows. I promise not to have any more episodes of emptying a studio onto the living room floor...that was a folly that can only really happen once in a lifetime without consequence, so maybe we'll just try to wash miniblinds and cull some old clothing instead.
I hate this fog, I really do. it makes me feel sad and a bit angry, and then incredibly guilty for complaining about it, but it is so darn pervasive that I can't conquer it. Instead of a big black dog, methinks this should be called a huge green monster. The dog will at least sit by your feet and keep you company, but this sucker demands full attention and allows for nothing else.
Phooey.
OK. Enough kvetching. I hope that your Tuesday is off to a swell start and that you get to do all the things today! Come tell me all about it!
Connie, I learned the phrase "white space" the other day, as in leaving White Space on your calendar for just You. Your apartment needs to just sit a bit and you need to go sit on your balcony, if you're not up for a walk, and just breathe and heal and listen to the birdies. I understand fog and anger and generally being down. Just BE for a bit, and heal. We love you, kiddo. -p.
ReplyDeleteOne box at a time. A friend's sister died last week and that's how we are delight with her things.
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ReplyDeleteConi, if you aren't up for the walk in the sunshine, go sit on your balcony. CS2 can wait a day or two or more! I like the idea of taking one box at a time. Perhaps do one box a week or every other week. Thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteI agree about just sitting outside enjoying the sun if you're not up for a walk. It's all about giving yourself a break; you can certainly slowly start going through things as you need to, but you don't want it to be overwhelming. Take care of yourself, hope you can have a relaxing evening!
ReplyDeleteI agree. Go sit on the balcony for a bit. If you are feeling up to it, take a drive thru the local starbucks. I think it will help lift your spirit to get outside for a while. Sending prayers for a good day.
ReplyDeleteDon't ever feel guilty about complaining to us, we know what a warrior you are and we love you and many prayers go up for you. What is wrong with just staring at the tv anyway, I do it.
ReplyDeleteI hope today is a better day. And don't feel bad for complaining to us. We are here to listen :)
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