Jun 12, 2018


Mister Spinster has left the cave to hunt for dinner, and I am here with the Chicken Sisters, my damn good, and the morning paper.


I love the Mister, I really do, and I love being out and about and seeing and visiting and pickleballing and golfing and whatnot, but this alone time is critical for me to just be me. In a million years I never would have believed just how much of an introvert I really am. I always thought that I drew my strength from other people, but the truth is that I get completely off balance if I don't have a few minutes or hours to just sink back inside my head to re-group.

I suppose that Oprah or the writers of The Secret would say that this craving for alone/quiet time means I'm not living as my authentic self in public....and I think I'm OK with that. My authentic self is a hot mess nervous wreck misfit that can't get out of her own way. The self that comes out when I am alone and in my head, though, is a total badass ninja of wit, competence, and fearlessness.

What can I say? I'm the portly spinster equivalent of Walter Mitty.

All of this navel gazing today is the end result of a trauma that happened at dialysis yesterday. One of my chair buddies crashed...and hard...and all we could do was sit there and watch and cry and pray while the team worked on her. It was absolutely awful, and I flashed back to when my dad crashed right in front of me in the hospital and was a 90-minute CPR code. He died about four times, but they kept bringing him back until they were able to get him down into the intensive care cardiac cockpit. 

The lady yesterday was just sitting there having a sandwich and talking to the social worker, and all of a sudden there were nurses and crash carts and things happening at breakneck speed. I knew I loved and admired the staff at the dialysis center before this happened...now I am just in awe of them.

Hmmmmm...so much contemplating for a Tuesday morning.

Sorry, Dearies. I really didn't mean to explore all of the feelings in my punky little head today on this here blog, but I guess it's better than driving to the McDonald's and ordering the entire breakfast menu. Dr. Melfi would probably tell me that I am making great strides in coping with complex internal processing issues...blah, blah, blah.

I think I'm just doing my thing.

So we're off like a herd of very tired, quiet, contemplative turtles today. If the clouds allow, I am going to pull on the old lady bathing costume and get in the pool for a float. And later, if the course isn't too wet for riding carts, the Mister and I will hit the golf ball. There will be some stitching today (she says, while shaking her fist at the sky), as the stitchy gods are my witness!

I hope your Tuesday is swell and considerably less emotional squirrel in traffic. Come tell me all about it!


  1. Coni, I am the same way with needing time to decompress. I get home after work and parental care and if I have the next day off for myself it's like a vacation. Girl, it's the way we are made.

  2. Coni, from one introvert to another, (3 actually because both my sister's are the same) I thank you for sharing this morning. I had never seen your "authentic self" line in print before and when I read it I shouted,That's It!! (happy I was home alone at the time) that's why social activities leave me exhausted....it's work hiding that authentic me and putting on the social me. So enough deep thinking for today. Tomorrow maybe I'll figure out what to do withthis break through,lol. Meanwhile I hope you know,authentic Coni, introvert Coni, stitching-story telling Coni all add up to one lovely woman that I feel fortunate to know via blogland. I hope your dialysis buddy is okay after that awful event.

  3. Well, it was meant to be a humorous take on a serious subject. Bravo. I chuckled off and on until I got to, "Blah, blah, blah." Totally cracked up as I am intimate with "Blah, blah, blah." Sometimes you have to blow off some of this stuff! BTW, I am most definitely an introvert. And, after fighting it for years, I am at peace with it. Just let me do my thing, reading mostly. Hope your day is a great one.

  4. I ditto all of the above. There are a lot of us out there, Coni, and believe me, we Get It. I sometimes think we should get Oscars for our 'public performances'. Keep well, Missy.

  5. Dear Spinster Stitcher...I am a lurker and infrequent commentor but felt that I would tell you that I am the same way. Most people think I am an extrovert but deep inside I need my quiet time to be able to recharge. I am also a former RN and I know how scary a code is. Hey it is scary when you are one of the people responding to a code. It is truly traumatic, so kick back and enjoy your alone time. Love, Arlene

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  7. My dear SS,
    If we are all introverts, where are the extroverts? I always thought I was one, til I realized how much I needed/enjoyed being alone, and needing a good nap to recharge!! I too, am an introvert. And it's okay.
    So glad you are doing well, I was worried for a while. Introverts worry too.
    Have a great day.

  8. I think a good many of us are part introvert. I know I like my quiet times where I can sit and just be. Sometimes, it is with a book or my current stitching or just vegging out in my chair watching the birds. It is a means of recharging. Enjoy your day!

  9. I think I’m definitely an extrovert but I still treasure alone time. Maybe it’s a balance?

  10. All I have today is its hot, and I have to go walk the dog. A side note, today is my birthday, as an introvert I have no friends to wish me a happy birthday.

  11. I need my alone time-it is exhausting being out in a world that is much "too peopley" most of the time.

  12. You need to see what your Myers-Briggs personality is! As a total introvert (INTJ), I crave "downtime" and need it to stay sane. Stitching is a meditative lifeline like that as we know so well. You are handling things so well. I love the very tired, serious and contemplative turtles....Robyn in MA

  13. I am finding from listening to you, friends and flosstubers that a good many of stitchy ladies are introverts. We seem to be our happiest in our happy chairs!!!! That's not to say that we don't like people, are never social or things like that - we just need our re-charging times/spaces.

    So sorry to hear about the lady yesterday, I do hope she's on the mend. Definitely, a trying time for all.

  14. I too need my quiet alone time. And you just blog all your feelings away! We don't mind listening :)