As much as I would love to tell you that I am calm, prepared, and light hearted...the truth is that I'm terrified.
I'm not afraid of the pain or the inconvenience or the side effects or the risks or the...I don't even know. I'm terrified of the fact that this is just not the path I wanted to take.
But, if nothing else, I am learning that sometimes the unexpected is actually...wonderful. And that the unexpected takes us places and gives us things that we didn't even know we needed.
So I need you to bear with me for a minute, Dearies. I might not be here as often as I would like the next few days. I need to get my head around this and fall into a routine before I will be able to regale you with Tales From the Dialysis Unit.
Your cards and gifts and emails and comments and calls and visits and love and support are, as always, completely overwhelming. I really don't know how I got to be so lucky to find you. This thing of ours is, and has been, one of the greatest blessings of my life.
Take good care, do something fun, get those needles flying, and come tell me all about it.
With love,
Coni
The Spinster Stitcher
You're always in our thoughts and prayers!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, Coni dear. Just take your time getting settled into a new routine and pace yourself after your dialysis. Lots of prayers and love are supporting you. 😄
ReplyDeleteLots of prayers and love Coni! We will all be there holding your hand !!!
ReplyDeletePerhaps it is akin to your first day at a new school. You haven't met the kids and you aren't familiar with the routines. I'm sure you'll do just fine. Smile and nod at folks, say hello, introduce yourself and before you know it, you'll be one of the gang.
ReplyDeleteThe gift of life for Christmas is a really great present so embrace it. And don't forget you already have the gift of great personal charm, so use that power on the dialysis staff.
ReplyDeleteBlessings come in all shapes and forms - both to you and from you. They will all be amazed at their new patient as she settles in. You can eventually begin a stitchy class there I bet with you as the ring leader. Prayers abound.
ReplyDeleteAngeles are all around you...may peace surround you on this next journey...can’t wait once you are settle and in routine the tales you will have many blessings Coni🕊♥️
ReplyDeleteThe unknown is always a little scary but you are a champion. Everything will be fine. I'll be sending positive thoughts your way.
ReplyDeleteSending you prayers for peace and strength on this next part of your health journey. Don't forget to just breathe.
ReplyDeletecontinued prayers for you!
ReplyDeleteYou have so much love lifting you up. Prayers fly to the heavens every night for you from people you don’t even know. Strap on your armor and know that we are all sending you strength and power. Stupid kidney! It’ll be sorry it messed with us!
ReplyDeleteDebbie
Sending lots of love hugs & prayers, Cathryn ♥♥♥
ReplyDeleteHoping you feel so much better!
ReplyDeleteSending prayers to you.
ReplyDeleteIf course you're terrified. You're having serious health problems and have to rely on medical procedures to manage your body chemistry, plus there's complicated family dynamics, plus there's financial implications. Do not underestimate how much mental anguish this situation is bound to cause (not to mention the physical anguish of being sick). Rich is a wonderful asset to you, but he can't take away the losses and grief you're experiencing. Please be gentle and loving with yourself as you ride this emotional rollercoaster. Reach out when you need to, hide when you need to, and know we are all holding you in our hearts the entire way.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully put Violet Stitches!
ReplyDeleteSending up prayers of support and healing for you. I so enjoy your blog and am happy that JB is with you through this journey.
ReplyDeleteConi - there is strength in numbers, and you have HUGE numbers of people keeping you in their thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteTake the time you need, don't worry about all of us. We know you are in the best possible hands between your wonderful Jersey Boy and your team of doctors. We will all be here waiting when you're ready to come back, whenever that may be.
Who knows? You may welcome the chance to write down your feelings and experiences sooner than you think - and if not, that's fine too, it's YOUR journey and there is no right way to travel it.
Much love, many prayers, and even more well wishes coming your way.
Kathy in OC, CA
Echoing everyone and sending my wishes for peace and strength.
ReplyDeleteLast week, you noted that Rich would be going back to Jersey for a bit -- does that mean he can't be with you to start this new adventure? Just know that so many of us will be with you in spirit.
Susan Anonymouse
Coni, you know we'll be here when you are ready, willing and able to put pen to paper again(fingers to keyboard). Praying for strength and stamina for you as you move on to this necessary, but only temporary, next step in winning back your life.
ReplyDeleteSending you love and holding you in my prayers. You are not alone on the road that you are traveling. Bless you and the JB.
ReplyDeleteDearest Coni, there's a boatload of love and blessings headed your way from the southern end of Hoosierland. So many others have said it far more eloquently, but we're with you in heart and spirit. And there may be even a tiny blessing: dialysis requires you to stay still, doesn't it? Does that mean you can stitch the time away? I hope so. Thinking of you with much love, Robin in Bloomington.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you dear in this new step to reclaiming your life. You know our love is with you.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you. You got this. We can do hard things!
ReplyDeleteDitto what Violet said; love and strength to you!
ReplyDeleteHugs and prayers are headed your way!
ReplyDeleteMy brother-in-law felt sooooo much better as soon as he started dialysis! I know it's not the road you wanted to take, but you will feel so much better and more able to deal with whatever comes next. Hugs and prayers, and wishes for a Merry Christmas.
ReplyDeleteEchoing Violet also, so wonderfully expressed. Hugs and prayers continue!
ReplyDeleteDear Coni,
ReplyDeleteDialysis is a new experience for you. On a personal note, my husband was on dialysis for 2 1/2 years before his transplant 9 years ago. The change in his energy level was amazing on dialysis, even more so with the transplant. Your routines certainly will change but nothing you can’t handle. Keep your chin up, better times are ahead.
Carol
Positive thoughts and prayers being sent your way !
ReplyDeleteFor the first day, take a good book to read. MY dear friend used to get bored (she wasn't much of a reader or stitcher) as she sat/laid there for her 6 hours. I have no idea how long yours will be but better prepared with something good to read. Wait until you are used to it before bringing stitching. Tell the nurses that is what you would prefer to be doing, make sure they are aware of your preferences. Relax your body and it should go smoothly. I'll be praying for you extra hard tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteJackie
Amen to everything Violet and everyone has said. We are all on this journey with you, Coni. Sometimes we can't see our purpose in this life and feel like we are constantly fighting to keep our heads above water, but rest assured that our good God is in His heaven and our lives are unfolding as they should. You are a tremendous inspiration to all of us and we are all carrying you in our hearts. Bless you, sweetie.
ReplyDelete-p.
Heart and hugs go out to you
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and sending hugs and prayers.
ReplyDeleteIf it helps at all, going to dialysis has become a social outing for my brother....he has met many wonderful friends who miss him while he visits his daughter. Even the nurses miss him!
Wishing you the best!
Ditto what Violet said. We are all rooting for you. Prayers, hugs, and much love coming your way.
ReplyDeleteCarolyn
My dear Coni, Sending an old blessing from a friend in Ireland - “May God grant you always...A sunbeam to warm you, a moonbeam to charm you, a sheltering Angel so nothing can harm you. Laughter to cheer you. Faithful friends near you. And whenever you pray, Heaven to hear you.”
ReplyDeleteAmen to what others have said so very eloquently. Even though it might feel like you're jumping off the edge of the earth, you are ever in God's hands, and in our hearts! Praying this will be the beginning of much better days, even if not by the method (dialysis v. transplant) you hoped.
ReplyDeleteConi, we are sending positive thoughts your way. A dear fiend of mine has been a dialysis nurse for ages, believe me you will be in good hands. They will make you comfortable and you are right before long it will just be a routine thing. Best wishes.
ReplyDeleteWishing you the best. Lots of love and hugs !
ReplyDeleteConi, you can do it!!! Do you know when you have felt bad for so long you forget what it is to feel good? You probably will feel so much better once you get the 1st session under your belt. Everyone will be thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteGod Bless you Coni and may He gently rock you in the palm of His Hand to help ease your fears. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteSandra in Texas
I nearly said ‘ you’re a tough old boot’! Now that might not sound very complimentary but it’s something my English granny used to say and I think she meant it well! You ARE strong and I admire you enormously. This isn’t what anyone would wish for but with your strength of character you’ll soon have your new routine sorted and things will slip into place. Meanwhile, take all the time you need, we won’t firget you!
ReplyDeleteBon courage! Bisous ( hugs) on their way from Normandy xx
Sending good thoughts your way that all of this goes MUCH better than expected! Take good care of yourself and know that we are all thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteThumbs up to Violet Stitches! She said it so well!
ReplyDeletePrayers and healthy thoughts are following you! God is holding you in the palm of His Hand.
Luv
MaryO1230 🌹💕👍
Feel better soon! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteLots of hugs and prayers, Coni.
ReplyDeleteCareful hugs coming your way from NYC! Hope the New Year will be much easier for you and Jersey Boy. Take care of yourself Coni. :> :> :> Edy
ReplyDeleteHere is your opportunity put your ear buds in to listen to ALL the Christmas music. Before you know it it will be time to go home. And just think of all the new friends you will make. This is a wonderful way to start the New Year!!!
ReplyDeleteConi, think of this as your first day of school. Once you figure out the routine and what is expected, it will be happy sailing. You are in my thoughts and prayers as you embark on this next leg in the journey to getting your health back.
ReplyDeleteWe are all here for you. It’s all baby steps. Take your time & do what you need to for you. We’re not going anywhere. Prayers continue..... & hugs ❤️
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying for you, Coni. Think sweet thoughts when you go to bed tonight. Sweet thoughts of Stewey, your mom & dad and feel the love we all send your way!
ReplyDeleteI cannot say anything better than all those lovelies above.!! Hugs and prayers for you!!
ReplyDeleteDebbie in Kansas
You are so loved and this group wants nothing but the best for you. God has a plan and its not easy at times to relax in His timing, but that is why it is called faith. We will wait and have faith and help carry you through this.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers will be with you Coni as you start this new chapter in your life. I've been praying a daily novena to St Anthony. I'm going to add your name to those prayers. Now be sure to let Jersey Boy spoil you. I'm sure he will take care of you as much as you let him. So you just Let Him!
ReplyDeleteI echo and wish to add my hugs and prayers to send your way. You are very strong and an inspiration to us all. Hang in! Hope you feel better very soon,
ReplyDeleteJust hold on to the promise of feeling so much better once
ReplyDeleteyou start treatment.. Not all is unknown, and you will be
guided by an expert team, all too familiar with ways to bring you comfort. Concentrate on creating the agenda you
want to follow once your capacity for activity is increased. Dream up things to keep JB distracted. Above
all, remember through our prayers you are being placed in
the loving and everlasting embrace of your Creator Who will hold you fast through to wholeness. Be not afraid,
He has great plans for you... In the meantime, stitch away
the time and we will wait patiently and prayerfully for you to climb aboard again. Bless you for all you have so
graciously given us.
Bless you. I believe this is the right next at the right time. But continue to take things one step at a time and be good to yourself.
ReplyDeleteLove and prayers for you dear Coni.
ReplyDeleteTake care, Coni
ReplyDeleteWe all LOVE you!!
Marilyn
Thinking of you always. We are all there with you, holding your hand and trying to make you smile. Do as you are told sweetie! With love and hugs xxx
ReplyDeleteConi, I am so looking forward to how much healthier and heartier you will be feeling soon. I am very happy for you.
ReplyDeleteYou ARE a wise woman Coni....what lies ahead will bring an unexpected gift to you.
ReplyDeleteYou got this!
Good thoughts to you! Violet Stitches got it right. New things are frequently a little scary but you are brave and strong.
ReplyDeleteDear Coni, Sending prayers and positive thoughts that all goes well. Of course it is scary as it is new to you and you haven't been down this road but you will be surrounded by experts and of course, swarmed with love from all of us. Take good care.
ReplyDeleteI am thinking of you and sending love today especially!!!!! I pray you are surrounded by angels in human form who will help make everything easier and more comfortable.
ReplyDeleteConi, I know you can do this at 51. My dear daughter-in-law started it at 23. Some days better than others but she did it so you can Too! I have all the faith possible that you will handle this with your usual grace. The unknown is scary but soon it will become the known! God bless you and keep you.
ReplyDeleteMarilyn
Oh Coni, I know you are scared, but this is the way it has to be for now. You will be ok, everytime I have been really scared of a medical procedure, it is always easier than it is in my head. We are all here, sending you love and encouragement. Thinking of you...xxoo Mj
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOf course you’re scared - who wouldn’t be? There will be bad days, but also good days, and always remember, if you’d lived in any other century than the one you’re in, the whole idea of kidney treatment just didn’t exist. I don’t mean to sound harsh, I just want to remind you that it’s so much better than not having dialysis. And just think, you now have to worry about JB worrying about you - is that a gift or what?!
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, just keep breathing, take one step at a time, do what you’re told to do and remember, you have the most redoubtable force behind you cheering you on - stitchers! You’ll be ok, I promise. With much love from the U.K. xxx
Sending love, prayers, and positive thoughts your way, Coni.
ReplyDeleteConi, I think you are so courageous and full of life. I'm glad there is dialysis to keep you healthy until you get a new kidney. You are not alone and everything you are feeling is so understandable. Blessings on you and prayers for finding many, many moments of joy. Have you considered an Audible subscription? Listening to books can be quite wonderful when you want to zone out in a health care setting!
ReplyDeleteI am looking forward to the post where you tell us how much better you are feeling. xo
ReplyDelete