Nov 7, 2017


I'm at the Starbucks that is but a stone's throw from CS2...killing a bit of time.  I have one of those perfect mugs of damn good (Thanksgiving blend...very nice indeed), a blueberry scone, my newspaper, and all of you to keep me company.  The sun is streaming through the windows, there are handsome men in business suits sitting here and there talking of important things, and soon all of the Real Housewives of Granger will come in from their fitness class for a soy milk concoction that I cannot pronounce.

Life is beautiful for sure.

Yesterday was my annual physical with my family physician, and she was delighted by my weight loss progress, but even more excited by my recent life change.  Rich being here is better than any medicine she could prescribe, but she does think it's time to consider starting dialysis.  This final decision will be made on Friday when I see the nephrologist, but I suspect that she will agree.

Many of you have written to ask me why I postpned this as long as I have, and the truth is that I was hoping for the miracle of a pre-emptive transplant from my sister.  But, as soon as I laid out MY time frame for doing so, God laughed and had other plans.

The transplant will happen eventually (I have to believe that in my heart to be true), but it will be on a schedule that is not within my control.  So, rather than toughing it out amd banging my head against the proverbial wall, I have decided to take a different fork in the road and just get on with it.

One of the advantages of being the Spinster Stitcher and not a real person is that I have had the option of not having to work full time or try to care for a family while hanging in there these last many months. There were sacrifices to be sure (like losing the house and living with huge financial stress), (*) but my path was kind of chosen for me by life circumstances and getting sick when I did. I think that this was both good and bad, because most kidney patients will opt for dialysis much sooner so that they can live their lives more fully.

Turns out, I'm just not that brave.

But somewhere in me is the fierce desire to feel better and to get off of the mat.  I'm wanting to go places and do things and start a new life with a new person, and this is going to require more than 7% kidney function to do so.

Now because this is me, I will probably change my mind and chicken out at least a dozen and a half times between now and Friday...but on this particular Tuesday morning at this particular Starbucks...I am committed.

In other news, guess who stitched for three hours last night?!?!  We watched a few episodes of shows we like and then I climbed into my Happy Chair cockpit, pulled out Red Velvel Cale, and went to town. I don't have a progress pic for you, and probably didn't put enough stitches in to warrant one, but boy 'o boy did it feel good to get that needle back in my hand again!

Today will be filled with tests and errands and then a nap with my face in the sun, salmon and broccoli rabe for dinner, and then more stitching.  I'm hoping that tomorrow will be a day to stay in the jams and play in the studio, but...we'll see.  Life is going to happen whether I want it to or not, so I might as well just enjoy the here and now and stop fretting over the when and if.

So that's the report for a November Tuesday in Hoosierville, Dearies.  I hope that you are well and warm and safe and dry and doing something that makes your heart full.  Come tell me all about it...

(*) One of the questions that Betty had for me...repeatedly...was "WTF did you do with all of the money that was given to you in the You Caring fund?!"  I thought I had answered that question, but it turns out...I never did.  A small portion of it funded my move to CS2. The balance of it went to my transplant fund to cover some of the costs that will follow the surgery.  Medications and nursing care will run in the tens of thousands, housing will be considerable for at least a month, and there will be other costs that will be my responsibility as well.  So, dear friends (and Betty), when I tell you that you all literally saved my life..I mean it to be true.


  1. I will have to check out that Thanksgiving Blend. I am glad your annual physical went well and your appointment with the kidney doctor on Friday goes well also. Good for you on doing some stitching and looking forward to seeing RVC soon.

  2. Coni, it sounds like you are doing things the right way. Glad you are getting such great support. I would not even read Betty's post, just delete them and not mention (her, it, miserable thing that she is)on the blog again, she is a non-entity to you and your blog readers.

  3. Your doc has it right when she says Jersey Boy is better medicine then any pills in the pharmacy. What's going on here?.....more sitting to give the fractured bone in my foot time to heal. And doing a little stitching. The best part of the day is reading the next chapter in the Life of a Spinster Stitcher.

  4. I don`t really understand about your sister and the transplant, but that is ok, I don`t need to. I have perfect confidence in you will make the decisions that are right for you. It is none of Bettys' damned business what you did with the money. As long as it has helped keep you on this earth, it`s all good. Love and blessings and good thoughts...Mj xo

  5. Live in the moment...enjoy the sun..try not to worry too much....take it a day at a time....and have another cup of damn good for me!

  6. Coni, Do me (and all your faithful readers!) a favor, and as soon as you see anything from the stupendously cruel
    Betty on your screen, PLEASE DELETE IT before you even give your time or effort to reading her "sweet" missives. The fact that you read and ACKNOWLEDGE her spitefulness, gives her sway over you, your mental well-being, and your physical well-being. The more you mention her, the more she's going to write. (Rather perverse on her part, but it's that "nice to be wanted, even by the FBI" mindset of hers!) If you don't read/mention her and simply DELETE anything from her, maybe she'll rain her wrath on someone else.

  7. Coni, What a wonderful way to start the day! You amaze me continually with your determination. Today I am watching the moving van fill up as my neighbor who became a treasured friend, moves away after 40 years. We raised our families together, laughed together, cried together and supported each other through all these years. Maybe I'll make a Starbucks run for Thanksgiving blend for all the workers and family gathered there today. Good luck on Friday, Sweetie!

  8. I am sorry to hear your sister has not agreed to do the transplant. I will continue to pray that she changes her mind. As for Betty, isn't it time you found a way to block her?!
    Now I need to go to Starbucks today and sample a cup of Thanksgiving Blend coffee. :)

  9. I agree with Joanne. There are some people,who will run you into the ground if you allow them to do so. She seems to be someone to whom no one can be nice!

  10. Coni dear ~ Please heed our plea and disconnect that pitiful creature from your life...truly. Delete... don't
    give her audience or exposure...Fill your missives with the determination and hope you expound upon so wonderfully, such as today's. We are all in this together
    for your sake and that is the spirit to embrace. Rich is
    going to have to start sharing his recipes .....

  11. Sending you a big hug because you are a super person. Hope all goes well on Friday. I'm so glad that Mr Jersey-Boy is with you. Kick Betty to the kerb and don't let her push your buttons - She/he is a Troll, that's all!

  12. I know that your not the type of person to do so, Coni, but I wouldn't blame you one bit if you decide to doxx Betty.

    Also, if your sister doesn't come through, my blood type is AB+.

    1. This really gave me doesn`t have to be her sister, does it? My blood type is A+.

    2. Sadly, transplants are a ,lot more complicated than they were on House. Blood type is one factor amongst many. There is a great organization called Be The Match That lets you do a cheek swab, provide ancestral info, etc. and they will add you to their rolls. Then they contact you if you match someone needing, say, a kidney.

      Also, some groups are harder to match than others. So, if you happen to be African American or Jewish (specifically of Eastern European descent), you’re really needed. Both are particularly difficult to match.

  13. You are approaching dialysis with the right attitude--just do it and remain positive, it makes a difference! Wishing you the very best!

  14. I am so happy you are able to sit in the sun and enjoy a Starbucks, I am addicted to the lattes.
    I have put you in my daily prayers, I have asked the Blessed Virgin Mary to watch over you.
    You can do it I am sure.
    What a beautiful sister you have to share part of her with you.
    As for betty I just cannot say at this moment, it may not be nice.


  15. I am sorry that the time for dialysis has probably come, but I suspect that since your kidney function is so low you will find that dialysis actually makes you feel better. You have wonderful support, and that makes a huge difference!

    Hooray for stitching time! It's amazing how good it makes us feel when we are able to find the time (and energy) to do something that we enjoy so much, be it stitching or another hobby.

  16. "I have decided to take a different fork in the road and just get on with it."

    "I climbed into my Happy Chair cockpit, pulled out Red Velvet Cake, and went to town."

    I see a connection here! While stitching is its own reward, it also functions as meditation, allowing our minds and souls to sort things out.

    Congrats on the physical progress. Dialysis is not giving in or giving up; it is a way to have more vim, vigour and vitality for stitching, exploring and the Jersey Boy.

    Susan Anonymouse

  17. Hope everything goes well on Friday.
    Keeping you in my thoughts.
    What business is it of Betty's anyway?

  18. Listen to your heart and your doctor! Don't listen to Betty, in fact if you can block her. She is toxic! Get some rest, head to dialysis and start that new life.
    Hugs and prayers,

  19. Sending prayers and buckets of good vibes your way. Hope all goes well Friday. Take whatever steps necessary to feel good, be happy and truly enjoy life and Jersey boy! We are all routing for you. Go! Go! Rah! Rah!

  20. In all our stitchy ways we love our very dear Spinster. But I must say Dear....please do not belittle yourself. This comment was prompted by you saying that you "being the Spinster Stitcher and not a real person" which is total hogwash and hooey. You are in fact a very real person (unless you're just some animated computer something which I doubt because if you were your life would be glorious and glamorous I'm sure). Every single one of us has different abilities, capabilites, and commitments. Yours have allowed you this time in between. Your between time may be coming to an end and we wish you the very best with the possibility of dialysis and transplant. But that in no way changes your life and your life abilities. We each walk a different path. The joy is in being able to do it with friends.

    And I agree with rosek1870 - block Bad Betty right out of your life. It's hard enough dealing with the negative thoughts that we think up all on our own. We sure don't need someone planting all new and different ones up there.

  21. WOW. I have no words. We love you Coni. Praying. Love, hugs & prayers, Cathryn ♥♥♥

  22. She is toxic! Get some rest, head to dialysis and start that new life.


  23. I agree with what others have said. You're doing as good as you can under the circumstances and sounds like you're pretty much doing as the doctors request. So, I do hope if they truly feel it's time for dialysis, then know it must be! You continue to be in my prayers!

  24. Good luck with your dialysis decision ... you'll be in my prayers.

  25. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this "Betty" person. No-one needs that level of judgement and pure nasty. You do not deserve that.

  26. Wonderful post, Coni, while dialysis likely approaches, I hope you read back through your posts occasionally and realize how far you've come, and how unexpected joys in your life, like Rich, have changed your perspective on dialysis for the better. Seems to this reader, that your positive attitude will make all the difference. So, as Johnny Carson used to say, "When you come to the fork in the road, take it!" And, by the way, was your Starbucks playing Christmas music while you enjoyed the Thanksgiving Blend??? Mine was, egads!!

  27. My heart aches for you and what you are going through. You're in my prayers.

  28. Screw Betty. It is none of her damned business. There were no strings attached to any of our donations... just a tangible way of sending our love and figurative support to you during trying times.

    Go forth and frolic with your Jersey Boy! (Won't the dialysis help in the frolicking department? Reason enough right there!)

  29. I hope the dialysis chair is in a sunny spot where you can stitch or dream or think positive thoughts. The fund is yours as needed. I'm glad it helps to have some financial stress lifted just wish we didn't feel the need to ask about it. I'm so glad it's there for you. Have a fabulous week. I'll be praying for you.

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