I'm the first to admit that I set myself up for failure most days because of expectations, and now that I am at end stage, I really should learn how to dial down those expectations and just do things in a simpler, more energy-saving manner rather than the full-blown bull in a china shop method that has served me so well these last 51and a half years.
(She says, sarcastically.)
In the midst of me trying to explain the stress I was feeling over figuring out the perfect place to put the Christmas tree and whether or not I should go with the four foot, six foot, eight foot, or eleven foot versions that I have carefully stored at Chez Spinster, Rich pipes up with "I'd like to have a real tree, Con, but I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to ruin your decorating plans."
Fast forward three hours, a turkey sandwich, more tears, and some quiet time later, and I am in the Happy Chair with my stitching while Rich works out at the working out place.
We'll decorate next weekend.
Dr. Melfi will tell me that the reason why I am feeling so out of sorts lately is that I've gotten out of my lane again. I've allowed myself to veer over into the Land of Make Believe in which I am a 1954 housewife with perfect pearls and a pot roast, my sister is the same, and our homes and mates are perfectly appointed tableaus that could come right out of a Westinghouse appliance commercial.
But life's not like that. And sometimes it's a mess and difficult and not at all what you would want the world to see. It's frayed at the edges and, most likely, held together with spit and duct tape. It's unpredictable, sometimes frustrating, but almost always interesting enough that it is worthwhile sticking around to see what comes next.
So here we are on Thanksgiving Saturday...just learning how to be...real. Hmmmm. Maybe I am actually learning something after all.
I hope you are doing whatever your heart desires today...whether that means shopping or decorating or reading a book or playing with grandkids or staring at a pretty blue sky or just holding the hand or paw of someone you love. Do something wonderful and come tell me all about it!
Ain't the holidays just GRAND?!
ReplyDeleteThe interesting side of the Holidaze! Here's my philosophy: I like to see them come and I like to see them go. Just that simple. Luv,
ReplyDeleteMaryO1230 💕🥀🌺🌻🌼🌷⚘🍂🍁
Mary and Anonymous, you summed it up perfectly for me!
DeleteI like them MORE when they go!
ReplyDeleteRemember all that you are grateful for this year - particularly the place you were in last year. This is a new beginning - new place to decorate SO some new decorations and some old. You are now fortunate to be sharing you life and home with someone else. Someone dare I say that is getting you to go out and about instead of sitting home feeling horrible and worry about what MIGHT be next. SOMEONE TO SHARE LIFE WITH - isn't that what you were wishing for? Be very careful what you wish for - it might just come true! Get a real tree you might really enjoy it - it could be what you need to take the place of the fire place to make your Christmas just right. And last of my preaching - let's not forget what the season is all about - not only the birth of Jesus but showing compassion for each other. I say get some rest - I am sure part of your troubles are because your tired from all the shopping and fixing of the turkey, etc. Another turkey sandwich, the chair and big girl sleigh bed and things will look much better tomorrow - they always did for Tara!
ReplyDeleteDon't know what that was all about, but I would suggest you make that dear boy's heart swell by opting for the real tree and making it the focal point of your décor with
ReplyDeletethe nativity nestled beneath it, while making him the focal point of your Christmas spirit. What you two are
sharing is more than enough for your lane...no need to digress.....best thing for a lady of high expectations;
an understanding soul mate.
Wise words you speak! 😏
ReplyDeleteSpit and duct tape.. ain't that the truth :)
ReplyDeleteI think you have described my life perfectly. Would I change anything? Probably not. It is what it is and I guess that makes it interesting and mine.
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