May 5, 2017

AND THEN IT WAS FRIDAY...AND SHE RAMBLED AGAIN

Jumble. Jumble, Jumble.

(And I don't mean the popular word puzzle that tests my itty bitty brains every morning.)

So, bear with me while I just let it all spill out. 

(Hang in there, Betty.  The list of stuff you will have to eventually complain about is growing exponentially, my dear.)

HEALTH: I promise that I will keep you updated as well as I can.  Right now I am finishing all of my tests and preparing for more meetings with the transplant team at IU.  One of two things will come to pass, though, in the next few months: Path A is that things can be resolved and worked out for a pre-emptive transplant from my sister. (I'm very sorry that I cannot be any more specific than that.  Just know that minds far brighter than mine are on it and I am going to hold onto hope.)  Path B will be dialysis and going on the list for a cadaver kidney.

Dearies, I am prepared for and at peace with either path.

(Besides, a stitchy sister sent me an article about bionic kidneys that are supposed to be going into clinical trials this year and I already called my nephrologist's office to tell them I want to learn more about this. Can you imagine it?  Me!  Bionic?!)

HOME: I am going to be leaving Chez Spinster.  And as of yesterday afternoon I am finally at peace with this decision as well.  I have found a new Chez Spinster, and when the door opened to it and the agent pointed out the little alcove with the beautiful light streaming in and said "This might be a nice place for your stitching things" I burst into the ugly cry right there in front of God and everybody and said "This is my new home."  It is a one bedroom apartment (with the little alcove), it has lovely light and wonderful views, and it sits in an area full of people coming and going.  I will still be two or three minutes away from nephrology and the hospital and I will be able to walk to the grocery store or to see Miss Brandi to get my hair cut twice a year.  There is a patio, a place for my mom's needlepoint, Jasper cabinet, and tea cart, and even enough room for the big girl sleigh bed.  Once I put Stewey's little box there it will be complete.  

You know how much I've loved this little house of mine.  I've lived here longer than any other place on Earth.  But it's time.  It's time for me to close this chapter and send this place on to its next person.  I will leave it with many happy memories, a few sad ones, and lots and lots of love.

BOSCO: We've had a wonderful time together, he and I, but now it's time for him to go back to his Mommie.  I will take him to her tomorrow afternoon, but have promised to stop for Starbucks and cheeseburgers along the way. (Back in the old days I would have a Wednesday play day with Bosco and we would go to the Starbucks drive thru and then on to McDonalds for Happy Meals.  He would get a little lick of whipped cream off the top of my Frappacino, and then a little piece of cheeseburger from the Happy Meal. We did this every Wednesday for quite some time until the vet said that Bosco needed to lose a few pounds and my internist said that I needed to lose a few hundred.  It was our little secret until one day my sister and I were driving with the boys and she decided to pull into the Starbucks drive thru and the barista hollered "Hi, Bosco!" and handed my sister a little cup of whipped cream and a dog biscuit.)

(Thank goodness she didn't want to go to McDonalds or I'm pretty sure Stewey and I would have had to walk home.)

I will miss him, but am happier that he will be with his mommie...as he should.  We had a very very long talk and snuggle, and he promised to send up the bat signal if he ever needs me again, and I promised to not be sad anymore.  And I kissed him on his nose and thanked him for visiting with me, and it hit me right between the eyes that the bat signal wasn't meant for me to save him...it was for him to save me.

STEWEY: You have all been so lovely to mourn his loss with me, and I agree that he is so very happy to know that somebody is looking out for his Mo-ther.  I chuckle at the thought that he probably has a smug little grin on his face over the necessity of having to be replaced by thousands of persons, when one tiny little nine pound bundle of love managed the job very nicely for eleven years, four months, and eight days on his own.  There's no doubt that he was a special little guy, and I am comforted by the fact that he joins all of your spcial lovies that went before him.  I'm sure he's up there trying to be the boss of everybody, but there is the faint hope that a committee will be put in place to keep his ego and tendencies for world domination (and civilization) in check.

SPINSTER NATION: Here's where it gets even more interesting.  When Miss Susan Her Very Self wrote to me and asked if she could establish a fund for me, I thougt it might be a little "pin money" type thing that would allow me to get a few pretty threads or a couple of new charts. At first I thought "Oh, no, Miss Susan, I couldn't possibly.  But then I decided to break a bad habit of mine and I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror and said to myself "When somebody gives you a compliment or does something nice for you, just look them in the eye and say "thank you very kindly" from your heart and mean it.  Don't deflect, don't refuse, don't belittle the gesture.  Just let the gift of that love wash over you."  

But this?  This is a tidal wave of epic proportions.

This is a blessing that has completely overwhelmed me, and I have had some pretty amazing blessings in my life!  I'm terrified, because I don't know how to navigate it properly and I will be crushed if one person (probably Betty) thinks ill of me for simply standing in the wave with my face in the sun and love pouring out of my heart and letting this wash over me completely.

So in addition to the thank you that comes from my heart, I make to you this promise...that all of this money will be used responsibly, and with very great care, and that every single penny of it that I am able will be passed on in a meaningful way so that others may know this feeling.

(And if there's anybody out there that has had this happen and can gut check me to make sure I'm doing this right...much obliged, dear.  Much obliged!)

That's it for now, my friends.  I have some things to accomplish today and then it's back to the Happy Chair with needle and thread.  I hope that your day is exactly what you hope it to be!  Do something wonderful and come tell me all about it!






37 comments:

  1. Wow! Just amazing Coni....your words always make me feel better 😍 Just so happy you found a place that sounds perfect for what you need at this moment..peace to you in your decisions and blessings each day in your new place❤️❤️

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  2. I am so happy that you've found a new home that you already feel is home. I truly hope you enjoy living there and that it brings you happiness, you deserve it. Coming from someone who has had to deal with lots of major family worries and health issues that are life changing - take each little step at a time and each day at a time. Never look ahead or you will feel overwhelmed. Take care.

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  3. More prayers answered - was so hoping you'd find a lovely new home, and it sounds as if you did. Can't wait to see pics of new Chez Spinster. Please let people help with packing and moving - some people (like me) really enjoy helping w/moves. We all like to share our "gifts," humble though they may be.

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  4. Deep joy that you've found a new place to be happy. xx

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  5. You will love your apartment; I love mine❤️

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  6. You are a special person and I, for one of many, am glad to know you. Wonderful news on all fronts!!!!

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  7. Coni, I hope all of these things you have mentioned (health, home, Bosco, Stewey and of course, Spinster Nation) bring you joy and many blessings. Looking forward to seeing the new Chez Spinster. Remember to take each step one at a day whether it is a day or hour. Enjoy your weekend!

    PS Pay no attention to Betty!

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  8. Just enjoy your tidal wave of love. Bask in it. And know we are enjoying this tidal wave of love too, because we are right smack in the middle of it with you.

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  9. and now you have made tears drip on my papers at work (I took a bloggy break instead of a coffee break). I think that anything that makes you feel good will be a worthwhile use of the funds -- dam good coffee or a vat of diet Coke when you can, lovely threads and fabrics for the therapy of stitching, or a beautiful bouquet of blooms that we can't give to you in person.

    (((hugs)))

    Susan

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  10. It is wonderful to see you in better spirits, and to know that this community of stitchers has been able to help. I have a friend that has been on dialysis for 17 years, as a result of a severe case of food poisoning destroying renal function, and he is quite interested in the "bionic" kidney as well. Progress on that is quite encouraging. For now, one step at a time, and continuing prayers, everyday in every way.

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  11. I hope you can hang your big ass pear!!! That and, being the wife of a Navy aviator, your post about how fantastic Dr. Dan looked in his flight suit is what I always remember when I think of you. Strange, I know, but there it is! Good luck with the move and keep on trucking.

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  12. Oh Connie, I am so very glad that you have found a new home and it sounds like the perfect setting to start the next phase of your life. My beautiful daughter was the honored recipient of a Go Fund Me Site that helped with her medical bills and a local theater group raised enough money to pay her cobra insurance payments for 6 months that helped greatly while she has been fighting oral cancer. It did feel weird at first that so many we so very kind to us during some of the worst days of our lives. Use the money wisely and worry about paying it forward when you are healthy and back on your feet. And when you pay it forward know that it doesn't need to be a monetary gift a gift of time or needed things is just as good. Like for us to raise cancer awareness, give a ride to someone who needs to get to treatment, be a shoulder for another caregiver who just needs to talk. There are many ways to pay it forward. You'll know what is a good fit for you when the time comes.
    Stay strong and know we are all rooting for you!
    Hugs,
    Rose

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  13. This blog posting made tears sprout forth from my eyes. You are such a lovely, gracious, kind hearted person. I have read your blog for a long time and I can't begin to think that anyone is more deserving of monetary donations from the stitching community. A small part of something a community can do for you-as someone that has brightened so many of our lives with stories of you, Stewey, and your life. Prayers for you as you go through health issues and moving and all the new things that might come with that. Love you!

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  15. Coni,
    You have brought such joy to all of us who read your blog or have been touched by your kindness and generosity. I'm so glad Susan got involved and we were able to pay back some of the joy you have spread:) Good luck in your new apartment. I'm sure it will be a special, lovely place for you and your stitching.

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  16. See? Kids book material! Story line: cheeseburgers n Starbucks, mommie/sister finding out when barista spills the beans. Stewey trying to direct everyone, Bosco (my dogs name when I was a tot!) rolling his eyes then rolling over for a tummy rub. Ok, time for artwork! :) (ok, enough of that silliness)
    All the best on your new home. Sooo glad you will have an alcove to go to to pull together a seasonal stitchy basket-o-fun (always some of my favorite posts).

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  17. Oh yes! Kids books! Great idea LKICT! All you'd have to do, Coni, is look back at previous blogs for your subject matter.
    I gave the money because I wanted you to have it. It felt good to think I could do something to help you (wish I could come help you pack and move), and I want you to spend it however you want. There's no doubt you will, in some way, help someone in need when you are feeling better.
    So glad to hear about your new home. Just think, less to clean; more time to heal and stitch.
    Can't wait to see photos!

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  18. I am not a tax person, but I play a lawyer in real life, but I would recommend consulting a tax person to make sure any taxes owed are paid. I don't know about your particular stance on this, but I'm always pained when required to write a check to the IRS.

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  19. Any place you are along with Stewey in his little box along with the happy chair and big girl sleigh bed along with your stitchy stuff will be "Chez Spinster" because it will hold all that is dear to you. You have enough to keep you busy to get well without the work and expense of a house. Keep that kick ass attitude you have dug down deep and got a hold of - you go GIRL!

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  20. This: "When somebody gives you a compliment or does something nice for you, just look them in the eye and say "thank you very kindly" from your heart and mean it. Don't deflect, don't refuse, don't belittle the gesture. Just let the gift of that love wash over you."

    Coni, these are such wise words and all of us need to learn this.

    Thank you thank you thank you

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  21. What did I miss a Go Fund me? Where is it?
    Ruth in Oxnard CA.

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    1. Hi Ruth
      I am the Susan who started a YouCaring campaign for Coni late Monday night this week. In just these few days, more than 200 stitchy friends have donated more than $20,000. Not a typo. More than $20,000. YouCaring is at https://www.youcaring.com/conirich-813248 You can e-mail me if you want fletchersj (at) hotmail.com

      Susan

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  22. What did I miss a Go Fund me? Where is it?
    Ruth in Oxnard CA.

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  23. EGBOK - Everything's going to be OK. But you knew that. Love

    MaryO1230
    πŸ˜πŸΆπŸ’“

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  24. Darn you, Coni! I am in tears again. Tears of laughter over the Starbucks story and sad tears thinking of Stewey with my Casey, Murphy and Otis playing the days away. Stewey is surely the boss, Goldens are the brightest.
    I have a challenge for Betty. Go over and donate a little money to help a sister out!

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  25. Oh Coni,you just bring tears to my eyes. You are so courageous and you just don't see it. Hugs to you and loads of everything else you need to get you through this. And yes, Bosco is there to help you and I'm sure he will come whenever he's needed.

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  26. We love you Coni! Sending prayers and hugs your direction!

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  27. Brushing a few tears away. We took your hand to walk
    beside you through your concerns, only to discover it was our hands you were holding and getting us through our days
    in this tumultuous world. You have done it with grace, humor and wisdom and we are ever grateful. How courageous
    an example you are to us, Coni. Rejoicing with you over the new Chez Spinster, laughing over the Starbuck's escapades and praying that even going bionic will keep you ever present in our lives and having a ball in yours.
    By the way, already told Betty to take her eviction notice
    and depart... the new Chez Spinster is wired for love, laughter and whatever our Coni wishes.

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  28. Your new home sounds wonderful! Hugs!

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  29. Coni,
    As you know life gets in the way of everything and I've not been able to be the faithful follower I once was. That said, I do know that you are embarking on a new chapter in your life and have picked up bits and pieces from your blog and Facebook. We don't know why God directs our paths in the directions that He does, but He does so with a good reason for you, a direction for you that will make you stronger and is the right one. I'm sorry that there are so many bumps and hiccups in your path right now, but am so very glad to read this and know that you are coming to grips with it all. See - you're getting stronger already. I can only wish that someday I could meet you in person (we all do), so that I could give you a big hug and say "I love your strength, I love what give of yourself to us, your "bloggies"!!!". I have learned to become stronger over the years, but there have been so many insights you have given me that have helped, that I say, thank you. Stay strong.

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  30. I cannot think of how to say what I am feeling. It has been wonderful meeting you through your blog. Reading your posts has helped me in many ways. It is a blessing and so much fun. I wish for you all the happy thoughts there can possibly be. Take care. Hugs.

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  31. Finding your new home takes away some anxiety, learning what your health track will be reduces a bit more. Day by day changes come. Your stories are so funny, we want them to continue as they help each of us in a different way. Life is complicated but we keep at it each day bringing change. Stitchers are the best community to belong to caring,sharing no questions asked.

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  32. So happy to hear that you have found a new place to call home with a special stitchy spot. Hope you can let go of that worry now. Best wish my dear.

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  33. So happy to hear that things are falling into place and that you are ok with everything. It is a very tough situation you are going through but you got this!

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  34. So happy you have found a new place and are at peace with your decisions. You will make it a wonderful home with all your lovely stitching. Best wishes to you, dear Coni.

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