I was going to take a break from blogging for a bit and just disappear into the ether, but then I came to my senses, brushed my teeth, and changed my mind. This blog and all of you are just about the only thing keeping me together at this point, so walking away from it would be stoooo-pid with a capital stoo.
Yesterday was a bad day. Today hasn't been much better, but something struck me as I climbed back into the Happy Chair after a quick trip to the pharmacy and grocery. (I decided to cure what ails me by making meatballs. Lots and lots of meatballs. And I needed provisions for meatballs.)
(Sorry...got distracted by the idea of meatballs.)
What struck me is the fact that yes, yesterday was a bad day and today hasn't been much better, but...I'm here.
I'm here.
Now I know that the next thing that I'm going to tell you will convince you that I really am certifiable, but the fact of the matter is that I love my life. I have a very happy, small, quiet, peaceful, fulfulled life. Yes, I really do. And, I have this happy life in the face of serious illness, financial failure, the loss of the love of my life and my home, and without the presence or support of my sister.
Life is kicking me full in the face lately, but somehow it hasn't managed to dislodge the silly grin that was implanted there circa 1966. I'm happy. And grateful. And hopeful that I will eventually be able to look back on this time of my life and say "Whew! Made it!"
But today is not that day.
Instead, I will just sit in my Happy Chair and think my Happy Thoughts and just concentrate on breathing in and out. I will pick up a needle and thread...maybe, and I will watch a little Flosstube to distract me from the hurricane of crap that is doing its level best to drag me under.
Hold on to me tight, dear friends. Know for sure that I'm doing the same on this side and that eventually I am going to get back to blathering on and on about silliness and stitching.
Just not today, please. And maybe not tomorrow. But soon....I promise.
These are the days that make you appreciate the good days. I've been pretty down before thinking I'd never ever be happy again and eventually crawled my way back up. You have a good foundation and you will come out ahead. I am a bit confused though...I thought your sister was donating her kidney??? Wishing you all the best.
ReplyDeleteI too thought your sister was trying to be a donor. Hang in there. I live just south of FW. Think about going to HOS someday hoping to run into you,LOL!
DeletePraying that you find peace and love and joy once again. There are many bumps in the road of life that we must get over in order to find our true selves once again.
ReplyDeleteThinking and praying for you!
Pam
Your blog Connie is one of a handful I found nearly seven years ago,reading was a delight.I do not comment on every post,I read all of them and will continue to visit as long as you write on your blog.Thinking of you,and holding tight.
ReplyDeleteBeen there too. Had my knees replaced 3years ago and thought I would be hopping around like the Easter Bunny. Not so. I'm hopping around with a walker and wheel chair at times. My finger still work with my flying needles though. Hang in there Dear Coni. Many people love you. Hugs and prayers.❤️
ReplyDeleteNoooooooooo..... Don't leave us. Shoot I broke my dang toe this morning trying to escape huge giant palmetto bugs that were under the floor that's partly ripped up in my son's room as I was trying to escape. & I don't have any chocolate or ice cream or a car to go get some, plus now the dang toe is purple, very plump & downright painful. I am totally creeped out by bugs! But I finally finished the pretty peach blouse I was sewing. So now I'm stuck on the sofa binge watching the Client list with my toes taped up happy your not going anywhere 😍 Blessings, Baa
ReplyDeleteConi, you have shown such courage (not to mention humor) in the face of these difficulties that would have thrown an Amazon (no, not the river OR the e-trailer) flat on her face. You will prevail yet again. Sooo many love you and your blog. Prayers and sweet thoughts are going up and coming your way. Just have to believe there is so much you are still supposed to do. Please allow us the privilege of standing by you if only in the cyber sense.
ReplyDelete((((((((((((((Coni))))))))))))))) Big virtual hugs for you from one of your fans!
ReplyDeleteRuth in Oxnard CA
I so love reading your blog and your sense of humor and the way you express it! Even in the face of Things Thrown at You Outta Left Field. A change to recoup one's physical, emotional, or financial health is always a change for the better. Sending you my very best for your success in all ways.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy reading your blog so much! prayers coming your way from me.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog and tell friends about it often, esp when that days' "funny" has me smiling all day. Wish you were my neighbor! sending a virtual hug and lots of prayers.
ReplyDeleteLove your blog, but everyone has to take a break when they're tired or just stuff overwhelms. We're all with you. Prayers are being said. Loving thoughts abound. We'll be here. Kinda like your UFOs.😚
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you didn't just disappear. There are. Lot of us out here who would have become completely panicked by that - we worry about you, you know. You are having a helluva time, (if you'll excuse the language) and you just have to get yourself through it any way you can. As MaryO says, we'll be here. And we're all with you.
ReplyDeleteJust remember, Coni, we're here.
ReplyDeleteI know you don't need this burden, but you are an inspiration to me. Keep smiling and going. I love seeing all of your projects and finishes.
ReplyDeleteI don't know many people who have been through what you've been through and come out on the other side with your sense of humor and stitching talent. Please be kind to yourself, take one day at a time, know that you have many people praying for you and your health.
ReplyDeleteTake care Coni.
ReplyDeleteWe are all here for you, and wouldn't want you to stop blogging.
You keep US going!
Sit in your Happy Chair with your stitching and Bosco, and enjoy yourself.
Marilyn
Stopping by to say HI. May I come in to share our stitchy things and a few laughs? I'll tell you about the temper tantrum and meltdown I had today. You will tell me about your crappy day. Then we'll cry and laugh some more.
ReplyDeleteLife isn't for the faint of heart and a lot of people out here are pulling for you. Take care and take it one day at a time.
ReplyDeleteLife can get so damn complicated but we can always find love and hugs from our blogging friends. I would truly miss you and your blog.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you are still here blogging. Seems like the crap days are piling up but I believe life evens out and that means a ton of good days are coming. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteConi - just be a little kind to yourself my dear - - - we ALL have really sh---y days but you don't know about them because when we talk to you we're all pretending that every day is wonderful! So don't worry - take a few quiet days - rest and eat well - and you will be surprised to feel that all of a sudden you have a bit of mojo coming back.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE your blog - I think it is very good for all of us in this little community - but it is also very good for you as the writer to get everyone's perspective on stuff.
So - into the happy chair you go - get the tele on and the stitching out and enjoy a few quiet days.
I am so glad you decided to keep blogging. We are all rooting for you. Take one day at a time...or even one hour at a time. I am truly sorry your sister is not around to support you. As another person commented, I thought you was donating her kidney?Here's hoping there are brighter days ahead.
ReplyDeleteCarolyn
I love your blog Coni. You must do what you need to, but I would miss you, and worry about you. I wish I lived near you and could stop in and visit, or bring you anything you might need to cheer up...make meatballs with you! I'm sorry you're going through all of this, but hang in there. Trust that there's a plan for each of us, and know you have a whole bunch of cyber sisters out here pulling and praying for you.
ReplyDeleteOh Connie, know that we are all here listening, praying and pulling for you. I rarely post but I never miss your blog posts. I'm not sure what to say other than I would miss you. You've come into my life and ad a stitched and dog lover (I have 3) I feel like we are kindered spirits. Will be hwre when you want to vent.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Rose
I'm so pleased you didn't just disappear your blog as how else would I get my daily dose of "cheer me up". Lots of love from Noo Zeeland:-)
ReplyDeleteThis too shall pass no you can then look back and realize what you made it through. I have one sibling out of three who is connected to me. It's about my only family involved at any given time. There are a lot of tough times for everyone in their corners of the world and it's so good to have one another to help us get through. Keep your strength up. It will be ok. We are all right here.
ReplyDeleteDear One, You just take all the time you need to feel better, we all love you and it doesn't matter if you don't feel like keeping a happy face on for us. We can take it. Some days are just crappy, that is all there is to it. There is a God and He is still in His heaven and many of us are praying for you. If you don't feel like blogging, then don't, we will be waiting for you and love you still.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and sending prayers for brighter days to come. You are one courageous woman! And much loved by your faithful followers.
ReplyDeleteI found a new Flosstuber that you might like. Her channel is Tillthelaststitch. She is so sweet and inspirational. Despite her troubles, (her husband has dementia) she has a positive attitude. My favorite part in her first video was when she said her children don't want her ordering anything on-line without their knowledge. But she found a way around that, she just calls up an LNS and places her order by phone.
ReplyDeleteAdding my voice to the many in support of whatever you feel or do... Hope you can sense the love and concern from
ReplyDeletethis circle of Friends who surround you. Wish we could directly fill some of your needs and ease your way...many
of us reach out to you through prayer, believing that you
will be helped and healed.... believe with us, for there
will come the day when you will heave a sigh of relief and know the journey has brought you to the wholeness we
are all wishing for you. In the meantime, go placidly and
do whatever is best for you; we'll always be here...
Sending you good wishes and happy vibes across the ocean. One day at a time , take it easy on your self and this too will pass . X
ReplyDeleteSending you support and loving hugs all the way from Scotland! Whatever you need to do, whatever you think will help, we'll be there for you xx
ReplyDeleteIf hopes and wishes and prayers from your friends around the world could instantly make it all better for you, you would be feeling so good today. But we are all hoping and wishing and praying, so just hang on as best you can, tomorrow is another day. Much love Irene xx
ReplyDeleteIt's true what they say Coni. If you are basically a happy person then life events don't fundamentally change that. So you will get through this tough time and remain a happy person. I also feel that life goes in cycles, which I think of as Things Fall Apart and Things Come Together. You are in the former at the moment but it will cycle around. Keep stitching, hanging out with your real life and online friends, make meatballs and wait for the Come Together. You certainly always put a smile on my face even when you are going through tough times, so you are spreading happiness in the world. And don't stress re Chrissie.....those close family relationships are not straightforward - I have a painful complicated one with my only brother....lots of love and happy vibes.
ReplyDeleteAlison
Godalming UK
Coni, so loved your blog picture❤️ You are an amazing strong,courageous women so happy you can share when days are not good it's makes you even stronger ...happiness comes from within and it is always with you! Keeping you in my prayers for strength to continue this journey I'll be here by your side from afar! Hugs🌷🌹🌻
ReplyDeleteAlways remember how much you are loved. I read your blog every day and I am always inspired by you and your wonderful attitude. I know that things will come back together for you....Liz
ReplyDeleteOh Coni, you are so loved by many, cared about and prayed for. Don't let go. We won't let go of you. Sending lots of heartfelt ♥ prayers. Cathryn
ReplyDeleteStay strong Coni. You will get through this. We, your blog readers, and I'm sure, your guild sisters, too, are all with you. And Bosco too!
ReplyDeletepraying for you, Coni! I love that you never give up. Keep pushing through and things will get better. You can always reach out to us, your fan club and we will do what we can to help! Blessings
ReplyDeleteEnjoy those yummy meatballs, dear Coni! and I hope you find something funny to make you laugh on Flosstube. Have you seen the latest one from eclecticpossessions? with Jimmy Flosstube in it? Super! God bless. xx
ReplyDeleteConi, yours is the only blog I follow faithfully Waiting for a transplant is not an easy time. Compound that with any other troubles and you feel a big weight on your shoulders. When things really go wrong I follow my dad's advice: Imagine the worst thing that could happen. Determine how you would deal with it. Now you can quit worrying about that problem because you have a solution and the worst hardly ever happens. Know there are prayers going up for you.
ReplyDeleteWe are all in your corner!! You are,going with some serious stuff and it is not easy. You are doing a great Im holfing Good thoughs for you and Bosco. Ptobably stewey id,also.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, Coni. It will get better.
ReplyDeleteHooray for happy chairs! May all of the support that you are given in this comment section fill you with joy and make your day sweeter. You are not alone, we are with you in spirit. Bless your day. We will be sending hugs and prayers all day long!
ReplyDeleteConi, take one day (or one hour) at a time. You mean much to many of us out in interspace. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Have a wonderful weekend and eat a meatball or two or more for me.
ReplyDeleteAppears to me, your cup runneth over with many friends. True wealth in my opinion. Keep you chin up girlfriend. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteYou are beyond awesome and I cannot tell you how much I admire you. It is unbelievable what all you are facing and still at the end of the day your positive attitude. I thank you for sharing your honest feelings and I can only somewhat imagine what you really feel. You are in my thoughts and prayers each and every day. Please communicate with us, I tnink it will help you and it will definately help your followers as we will offer all of the love and support possibe through the web. We all love you Coni and are here for you each and every day!
ReplyDeleteConnie you are an inspiration to me. Thank you and big hugs.
ReplyDeleteConi,
ReplyDeleteWe will weather this storm too! You are not alone! Hugs and love!!!
Coni, your refusal to submit to self pity is what will get you through this. You have a matter of fact approach that will keep you upright. I remember crying to my mother in the midst of some twenty something drama, Sometimes I think I'll just have a break down. To which she snorted, Oh, come on, you have too much common sense to have a breakdown. Well, took the wind right out of my sails, I'll tell ya. You my dear, have the rare gift of common sense. When all around you are spinning themselves into dust, you will snort, shake your head, and make meatballs.
ReplyDeleteYou will handle this like a champ, and we are all with you.
Because of you, I found Floss Tube. Because of you I get an extra shot of adrenalin to make it through my life, one day at a time. Because of you, my love of needle arts have grown 10 fold!! You have created a group of friends that truly enjoy your blog and the love of needlework. Keep creating, be an artist and find joy while you wait for answers to your kidney translplant. Life is good...you have made it happy for so many people. Blessings to you!
ReplyDeleteI just read many of the comments that your followers posted and it is truly amazing in this world of hate, anger, and violence that there are so many followers sending their love and support; that is such a wonderful blessing, one that I am sure makes you feel better. When I get discouraged, I try to just focus on one day at a time and not the "big picture". Sending hugs and prayers to you that your "tomorrows" will be happy, peaceful, and calming. Happy stitchin...............
ReplyDeleteJust remember - this too shall pass. xoxo
ReplyDeleteYou can't give up and you can't stop blogging. You have many people here that care for you, pray for you, and want to see you come out of this better then ever. Let your friends that are there with you help you and comfort you. Sometimes the best family is the one you choose to hold in your heart.
ReplyDeleteTake care Connie,thinking of you from Tasmania x
ReplyDeleteWe are all in your corner!! You are,going with some serious stuff and it is not easy. You are doing a great Im holfing Good thoughs for you and Bosco. Ptobably stewey id,also.
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