My Saturday went from blech to ugh and I managed to spend most of it in the big girl sleigh bed. I had started to feel decidedly unwell on Thursday, but chose to ignore it completely in the hopes that it would somehow sort itself out.
Alas, it was not to be. Such is the life of a kidney patient, apparently. I haven't been very good at remembering that I am a flower of very delicate constitution and not, as I think I am anyway, the bull in a china shop that is usually able to power through a day of errands and laundry without having to pause for rest and sustenance.
So today I am in the Happy Chair at 7am pondering Father's Day and how much I miss my dad. I think I am especially sad this year because it seems like life has gotten away from me a bit these last few months, and I'm pretty sure that if he were here, Bob Rich would be wondering what the heck happened to his happy, competent, optimistic, funny, lighthearted, fool of a daughter.
I can hear him now..."Just do your thing, CJ." This is the advice that he gave whenever he knew that I was fretting over something big or small, and his confidence that I had it in me to know what "my thing" was usually got me right where I needed to be. My dad was a kind and gentle and loving and generous man, and when Mom told me to find somebody just like him to marry...I knew I was completely and totally screwed, because I'm pretty sure they only made one of him.
I've known and loved a lot of wonderful men in my life...uncles and cousins and friends and one or two soulmates, and I'm blessed to have had a lot of father figures through the years provide me with guidance or help or insight, but there's really only one guy that was my dad.
Today I'm going to try to do things that will honor his memory...like putter around the house and watch a little golf and cook a great meal, and if the stars align just right, I'm going to do my thing and get some stitching done.
If you're missing your dad today, here's hoping that you'll find something that will bring you joy and peace. If you are a dad...Happy Father's Day!