THIS, my friends, is Santa Claus thankyouverymuch and if I was at all hip #quitscrewingaroundwithcrapthatpreventsmefrombangingmyheadonthepavement:
I'm sorry, but Santa Claus is sacrosanct to this here spinster. He is the only man on the planet that has a remote possibility of fulfilling my every need.
Except, maybe for this one:
You slap a Santa hat on HIM and we just might have a situation.
I'm just saying.