WHY I AM NO LONGER ALLOWED ON THE INTERNETS BY THE SPINSTER STITCHER HER VERY FREAKED OUT SELF

Have you ever Googled yourself?

(You do realize that not very long ago that would have been a most inappropriate question to ask polite society, no?  I mean, come on.  Who would have imagined that one day I would be sitting in the Happy Chair asking the stitchy world if it had ever Googled itself.)

(A filthy mind is a terrible thing to waste.)

So there I was, minding my own business, when I got the bright idea to see what would happen if I entered my name into this silly contraption.

Most of the images were benign.  A few of them were even vaguely related to me.  

But then, right there in the middle of all of the stitchy things and Stewey things and general crazy spinster related things was this:

For the record, that is not me.  While the upper half of this lovely lady does indeed resemble Yours Truly, my lower half has NEVER been that thin.  And while I totally applaud her choice of the pink tee, I don't actually own a pair of proper going out in public trousers, which these seem to be.  Add several dozen pounds to her heiney and slap a pair of eighteen year old sweatpants on her, and then I can understand the confusion.

Oh, and I think that might be a Walmart deli counter, and I have never been to a Walmart deli counter thankyouverymuch.  I buy Stewey's Virginia ham from the qualified slicing professionals at Martins Supermarkets and Martins Supermarkets only or he spits out his morning pill in the most inconvenient places (like the bath mat or in the nether regions of the dining room).

If you are, however, still interested in seeing what I really do look like from the behind, allow me to present the Official Spinster Stitcher Portrait Of Immense Accuracy and Discernment:

Stewey informs me that this will conclude my little excursion onto the information superhighway, so I will say good night and get back to my coloring book.

I hope you had a wonderful Monday and that your Tuesday is fabulous!